I don't own Star Wars I'm just playing in the sandbox.
She had survived Dooku's betrayal and healed from the modifications and injuries it had gotten her. She had returned back to Rattatak, her home world, free of both the Sith and the Jedi. I want to hear nothing of either of them, she thought, as she stood on her home and looked across the horizon. The Jedi betrayed my master by leave him to die alone and without apology. The Sith used me as nothing but a tool and discarded me because Sidious wants that lunatic Skywalker. I don't know what my future with the force holds but it seems light and dark are not so different as they pride themselves on being. She turned from her thoughts back to her home world and frowned. I have done so much- killed that creature who took my master and my parents from me and united my world under one banner. Finally Rattatak has broken away from war, but it is scarred. So much damage still remains to be repaired. All around me is pollution and ruins. It needs to be fixed. We must work alone, for if anyone knows the corruption which lies in trusting others it is I.
"My lady, what are your orders?" One of her staff asked. Asajj felt approval. He is brave. I have not been in the best of moods. For days my people have awaited what I have next for them- too reverent and afraid to break my silence. She turned to her second.
"My focus was abroad when it should have been here. Gather the others. We have much work to do."
He bowed and left her. Now that she was committed to a new focus Asajj was impatient. When she heard the news her subordinates had been gathered she swept into her meeting room.
"The outside galaxy is not worth my time. Rattatak is."
"My lady you left us for vengeance. How went it?"
Asajj knew a probing for weakness when she heard it. She had returned alone and thoughtful. She had not come back oozing triumph or piles of lightsabers. How went it? I was used and betrayed my master. I have contempt for the Sith's treachery and the Jedi's falseness to their vaunted ideals, but I must remember I am not pure either. Ky wouldn't have wanted me to do the things I have done. Later. I will not give this mynock what he craves.
"It was successful. I made the Jedi curse my name as I cursed theirs."
Was it worth it? Despite Dooku's betrayal it should be worth it. Somehow it feels pointless. Enough!
"My vengeance left you without my guidance. I have a new battle for you."
She could feel their bloodlust at that statement. Once upon a time she would have shared it, but not now. She was embarrassed to find her mind wandering again and strictly kept things on course.
"Our world is ravaged. Our battle is to heal it from war."
This did not sate their feelings, or bring her support. She hadn't expected it to. She slammed her fist on the table.
"There are other battles besides those with weapons. We can make our world into more than what we have. We will focus our energies on that, and anyone who feels otherwise can challenge me right now."
Now the fire was back in her blood but it was different. It wasn't bloodlust but something different. Who thought words, or any kind of battle besides that with a lightsaber, could fill her with energy this way?
The warlords correctly read that, whatever had happened, she was not weak. Satisfied, Asajj Ventress, ruler of Rattatak and nothing else, went on with her plans.
Obi-Wan held her even though she had just tried to kill him. His eyes were not filled with the pity she had seen before. Instead there was a pain which both soothed her somehow and also pierced her. When tears filled his eyes, Asajj continued to feel both soothed and hurt. Obi-Wan had not behaved as she thought Jedi did, and she had hated him for it. She had pushed him so hard to fit that mold and he had refused. Respect for that, and awareness of his pain made her touch his jawline and tell him to watch Coruscant. Then she had fell into as deep a trance as she had ever done. She couldn't trust anyone- could she trust him-and maybe the trance wouldn't work it had been so long since she'd used the light. Darkness left her, except for some guilt at how Obi-Wan's eyes had turned a shade of grey she'd never seen before.
Asajj tore out of sleep, haunted by those grey eyes. His eyes are supposed to be blue. How can anyone feel so much pain their eyes change? And over someone who has tortured and tried to kill them and those they hold dear? Obi-Wan, no Kenobi he is NOT to be anything to me, is a-
Another wave of agitation struck her as she couldn't complete the thought. Asajj muttered and went outside. Why can't I stop thinking about Kenobi? Why does his pain stay with me? Why can't I categorize it as sentimental nonsense and forget it and him? At least I only think sentimental nonsense during my dreams now. It will pass like the ones I had of my parents and my master…why I am putting Kenobi in the same category as them?
He cared for me. They are the only ones who ever have. My parents, rest knowing Rattatak will be healed. My master, Ky, I am sorry for causing you pain and betraying your teachings. I still…dislike the Jedi, but the warping effects of vengeance are stronger than the satisfaction of the feeling. She touched the scars of where the implants Dooku had burdened her had been. They were healing, and she swore to never be as stupid again. Kenobi thought I died in the light. He had no reason to care beyond that, so I am not beholden to him.
That statement was relevant and pushed away her sentiment mostly. Some of it remained because she wondered what it would be like to have him here with her. What would you think of my battles of words Negotiator? Would it amuse you? Or would you lecture me as you do your severely wayward padawan? How did you end up with him? He is not worthy of you- then again I was not worthy of Ky. Sympathy for Skywalker? These thoughts need to stop!
Annoyed enough to squash her disturbing thoughts she stomped back to her bed, took in a deep breath and pulled her covers back up. Before going to sleep, though, she wondered where Kenobi and the aforementioned padawan were. Don't do anything stupid now that you no longer have me to keep you sharp, or I will be severely disappointed. You must be fine or I would have felt something…the force whispered Kenobi was alright, though worried about his padawan- Asajj would not call Skywalker a Jedi knight. Chiding herself for being reassured and not wanting to know why she could find Kenobi so easily she went to sleep.