I don't own Sailor Moon. Takes place in the first season, the girls are fourteen, Mamoru is twenty-one, and Minako has been introduced without the Starlight Tower battle.

Usagi giggled girlishly and tilted her head back, Minako watching on in amusement. "Funny, funny, 'Nako-chan," she laughed. "Your head looks like a potato in the sun."

"Is she okay?" Minako asked the dentist.

"She's fine; we just gave her some laughing gas to calm her down," the dentist explained. "I don't think I've ever seen someone this old afraid of the dentist."

"Well, Usagi-chan is somewhat of an anomaly," Minako replied. The dentist left the two while Usagi recovered. "So, Usagi, what do you want to talk about that I can tease you about later?" she joked.

"Well, there is one thing..." Usagi smiled, blushing slightly.

"Ooo," Minako said, ready for gossip. "What is it? A guy?"

"Well... you know Chiba Mamoru...?" Usagi asked, an evil little smile on her face.

"You like him, don't you?" Minako asked. "I knew it!"

"That's not all..." Usagi giggled. "Well, we're kind of..."

"Usagi-chan, you didn't kiss him, did you?" Minako teased. Then, she sobered. "Usagi-chan, you didn't sleep with him did you?"

Usagi giggled. "Of course we did!" she cheered. "On the night of our marrige!"

Minako's jaw dropped to the floor. "Your... what?"

"Mamo-chan and I are married, silly!" Usagi reiterated. "We got married a month after we met! We remembered our past lives and found out that we really were in love! He was so sweet in the Silver Millennium, and he's so sweet now! But I didn't want to tell anyone because Mamo-chan would get yelled at by the senshi."

"Usagi-chan, do your parents and Luna know about this?" Minako asked.

"Of course my parents do!" Usagi exclaimed. "But I couldn't tell Luna because she doesn't trust the prince of Earth."

"The... what?" Minako demanded, but it was too late. Usagi had passed out.

Minako ran into the shrine and threw the screen open, revealing Rei, Ami, and Makoto. "USAGI-CHAN'S MARRIED!" she yelled before any of the others could speak.

"WHAT?" they all yelled back.

"And she remembers her past life," Minako continued. "We were at the dentist and they gave her laughing gas and I got her to say a secret and she told me that she and Mamoru-san were married and she remembered the Silver Millennium and Mamoru-san was the prince of Earth and they had sex!"

"WHAT?" the girls screamed again at her rushed, strung-together, run-on sentence.

"We've gotta find her," Rei declared.

"And kill her for not telling us all this," Makoto continued.

It didn't take a second for the senshi to split up in search of Usagi. Rei found herself at Mamoru's apartment, knocking furiously on the door. "OPEN UP!" she ordered, and the door slowly swung open, revealing Mamoru wearing only a towel around his waist and a wedding ring on his left ring finger.

"Rei-san, what are you doing here?" Mamoru asked. "I was taking a shower."

"Who is it, honey?" a feminine voice asked. Usagi walked up to the door, wearing her wedding and engagement rings and a towel. "R-Rei... what a surprise... what are you doing here?" The laughing gas had clearly worn off.

"Coming to see if Minako-chan was right; apparently, she is," Rei explained. Noting Usagi's confused look, she stated, "You blabbed to Minako-chan while you were still on laughing gas."

Usagi turned a bright red, realizing she was wearing next-to-nothing. "Uh... come inside. I'm gonna go change."

"M-me, too," Mamoru continued, retreating with Usagi into the bedroom.

Rei sat nervously on the couch, and soon enough, Mamoru and Usagi came out, fully clothed. The two sat down on the love seat across from Rei, Usagi snuggled up in Mamoru's arms. "So," Usagi began, "I guess I'll just start from the beginning. Mamo-chan and I saw each other and instantly remembered the Silver Millennium. We had eloped then, but we were taken away from each other. Mamo-chan told me he wasn't going to let us get separated again, and we convinced my parents to let us get married. We decided not to tell anyone because A, you and the other senshi would freak out, and B, the age difference isn't exactly common for a couple nowadays, espically at our ages. But we're in love, and we know what we're getting ourselves into."

Rei blanched, "You actually made sense. That's a first."

"I've been hiding my true identity for a while, Rei," Usagi explained. "I wasn't quite sure what it was, but even as a child, I knew I had to pretend to be something I'm not. I'm not nearly as dumb as I look, nor as clumsy. I'm just... full of secrets."

"Wow," Rei managed. "Uh... I'm sorry for flirting with Mamoru-san earlier, Usagi."

"You didn't know," Usagi smiled. "To be honest, in the Silver Millennium, you tried to seduce Endymion, aka Mamo-chan here, to protect me." Then, she let a smirk cross her face. "Now, if you don't mind, my husband and I have some unfinished business to attend to."

Rei blushed slightly and ran out of the apartment faster than a deer running from a coyote.

Poor Rei stuck in all that awkward. This is just a little oneshot from the depths of my insane mind. I'm making another fic that'll be about two or three chapters long that's close to the opposite of this, but it's still slight UsaMamo. It's gonna be a comedy and is based off all the idiocy that was going on at my school before winter break. Please review and check out the new fic!