"Jade, hurry up honey, we're going to be late." I heard my mother call calmly up the stairs.
"Yeah, one second." I replied, closing my trunk shut. I could hear James and Sirius being their usual noisy selves downstairs. James was a year older then me, and we are nothing alike. He's the incarnation of perfect. He gets good grades, he's a star quidditch player, he's popular, he's a Gryffindor. Try living in the shadow of him, it gets pretty cold. Then there is me, Jade. The failure of the Potter family. I know mum and dad love me, but I know they loved James more.
"Jade!" I hear my mother yell, growing impatient. I sigh and start walking downstairs. Today I start my sixth year of Hogwarts; James starts his seventh. Oh and he was made Head Boy too. Another thing for my parents to compare me to. "Jade why can't you be more like your brother?" "Jade, why don't you get grades like your brother, he can help you study!" "Jade, you should play quidditch like your brother". That's what I live with. I hate it, I wish I could just get up and leave. Sirius can take my place as the perfect second child. They probably love him more then they love me.
"We're apparating to King's Cross." She says as I walk into the foyer. Oh great, apparating, my favorite. "You'll do side along with me." I'm not really listening to her- I'm busy avoiding the glares I'm receiving from my brother and Sirius. I get those glares every time I'm in their line of vision. I never did anything to them, but ever since my first day of Hogwarts, they formed a hatred for my being. So much love in this family.
"Mmhm." I nod, staring at the ground. I've grown to ignore their glares, and my parents' disappointed looks. I've dealt with it for almost six years, but it still hurts knowing not even my family can accept me completely. Mum and Dad tried their best to be proud of me, they did, but James. Oh boy, James pretends that we aren't related and that I'm as useful as the gum on the bottom of his shoe. I hear the pops as my dad, Sirius, and James leave. I cling to my mum's arm and let the air get sucked out of me. We appear in an alley near King's Cross. I drag my trunk as I walk behind my family, like the outcast I am. I can hear James and Sirius talk about how this is going to be the best year ever and how they are going to be remembered forever at Hogwarts. I thought about just walking ahead of my family, but I know mum wouldn't like that, so I elect to stay behind.
"Bye Mum, Dad, I love you." I hug them quickly and say my goodbyes. The platform was full of students and families. They tell me they love me and to keep up my grades, even though they know I won't. "We're proud of you." Mum says to me, looking me in the eyes. No you're not. You're proud of James, not me. I thought, but I bite back my retort.
"Okay." I say blankly, I don't let my jealousy (or any emotion at that) show around my family anymore. I walk towards the train as I hear my mum fuss over James. See how easily I am forgotten? I board the train and sit in an empty compartment. I remember my first day at Hogwarts, my first train ride, the first time I walked through the doors of the castle.
"Potter, Jane." McGonagall calls as I walk up towards the sorting hat. I glance over to my big brother, James, as he gives me a grin and shoots me a thumbs up. Sirius is sitting next to him, grinning just the same. The hat was placed over my head and covers my eyes. A chill creeps down my spin as a voice starts talking to me.
"Ahh a Potter" It says, while another chill goes down my vertebrae . "Where to put you. The obvious house would be Gryffindor, wouldn't it? But you do not seem like a lion. No, not like the rest of the family…so where to put you?" The hate questions. So I'm not going to be with James? Oh joy. I think to myself. Well you should put me in Hufflepuff, I think to myself "Hufflepuff? Why?" It asks. Woah, it can hear my thoughts too? It could be fun living up to no expectations, well besides the ones James has already set. And at that thought the hat is shouting out "SLYTHERIN!"
I look towards James, who is frowning. The same frown that Sirius had when Regulus was sorted into the same house as me, When I make eye contact with James, he only looks away and shakes his head. I walk over towards the table of green and silver without looking back at my brother, but I know Sirius is burning holes in the back of my head.
I pull out of my memory and feel the faint threat of tears pricking at the back of my eyes. I blink rapidly to get rid of them. I don't cry anymore, I grew out of that when I was eleven.
"You!" My best friend cries as he sits down in the compartment.
"What, I'm not even worthy of a name?" I laugh as I look up at Regulus Black. Me and him have a lot in common. We both aren't very fond of being in the house of Salazar Slytherin. Our brothers despise our very being. We both live in the shadow of our older brothers. The only thing not in common is that he is the beloved child and I am the black sheep of the family.
"Damn straight, you're not even worth a name, you." He grins. It's nice to see Regulus grin, I seem to be the only person who can make him show some teeth. "You okay? You looked like your were going to cry." Regulus asks, concern dotting his face. He knows me too damn well. Sometimes I catch myself wishing that Regulus was my brother, and not James. But then I take that wish back. No matter how much James hates me, I will always love him. I don't think the feeling is mutual, but I'll always love my brother.
"Yeah, I was just…thinking about my family…" I start to trail off.
"Well you know what? Families can go suck bullocks. But you don't need a family. You've got me!"
"Oh boy that's comforting. I don't have a family, no I have a smarmy bastard." I stare out the window, we're pulling away from the station, and I watch with longing eyes as loving parents wave goodbye to their children. I can see my own mother and father waving goodbye, mouthing I love you. But I know they are saying it to James, not me. Maybe mum is saying it to me, she actually tries sometimes to include me in the family. Dad has given up hope that I will ever fit in with the Potter clan. He probably cried a little when he first heard I was in Slytherin. Because really, a Potter in Slytherin? Slytherin is the house of evil, as they say. All the baddies and the no goods are clothed in green and silver. Being sorted into Slytherin is a jumpstart to being a death eater, as some would say.
"I hate being the black sheep," I blurt to Regulus. I do this from time to time- rant to Reg. The rants are about various things, but usually they come back to family. He just sits there and listens, nodding occasionally. Half the time I don't even know if he's listening, but it feels good to let out all my angst. Regulus is my therapist, what can I say.
"So I've been told. But being the beloved child is hard work. Much more work than being the black sheep. You're smothered all the time by parents and family members." He points out. Regulus isn't one to sympathize. (Neither am I. Me and him have learned some things from our fellow Slytherins. Not sympathizing or showing emotion are some of the few talents we have picked up.)
"Probably. Being the black sheep, you don't have to do shit. All you have to do is pretend you don't exist and hide in your room."
"Unlike being the poster child for the most ancient and noble house of Black is hard work. Pretending you agree with everything that comes out of your parents' mouth. Making sure you don't slip up and get blasted off the family tree. Hard work I tell you," his voice dripping with sarcasm. One thing a lot of people don't know about Regulus is that he isn't this evil Voldemort follower. No, he hates his family and their values as much as Sirius does.
"The worst part though is when you're at family reunions, and all of your family stares at you like you're a freak show. Then you get snide remarks from the more mouthy ones. Like Great Aunt Prudence or James. You get told how you're a disgrace to the family and how you bring shame to the Potter name, and how I should have been sorted into the Gryffindor. They're almost as bad as your family, except all they want is to not be sorted into Slytherin. God, it's so irritating!" I let out a frustrated yell. So much angst and it's not even noon. What is this life.
"Settle down Bitty. The whole train will hear you." Bitty is the nickname Regulus has penned for me, because I am a midget. Well I'm not actually a midget, but I'm pretty small. I'm the perfect height for Reg to put his arm on my head. Armrest height.
"Oh alright." I settled into my seat. "Don't you have to be at a prefects meeting?" I ask, already knowing the answer.
"Oh shit, I do! Be back later, don't kill anyone, or anything while I'm gone."
"No promises!" I shout as Reg leaves the compartment. Yeah, Regulus is a prefect, no surprise really. He gets stellar grades and isn't a jackass, like most people in our year. He keeps to himself, unless he's with me of course. I obviously wasn't made prefect. Probably because I didn't strive to do anything but be average. Even then, sometimes average is just too much for me. I was serious about the being in Hufflepuff thing. I would have rocked that house. Because my averageness would have blended in nicely there. But NO, damn hat thought I was too much of a smart ass, probably. Which I don't deny. I am a smart ass. Pure bitchiness runs through these veins. Maybe I do belong in Slytherin. Ha. Really though? I don't think I belong in Slytherin. I honestly try my best to get along with my house mates, but I just don't share their same views on the whole all-muggleborns-must-DIE thing. It feels like Regulus and I are the only ones who aren't brainwashed into that state of mind.
I watched the landscape roll by, where is Regulus? Prefect meetings don't take this long! Maybe he's shacking up with some brood in an empty apartment. Hahahaha. Maybe I'm just being impatient. The compartment door slides open.
"Regulus, what the hell took you so long? I was going to go all Slytherin on some innocent kid's ass if you didn't show up soon. You know I can't be left alone for too long, I'm high maintenance. I'm a sociopath Slytherin remember? I like to torture first years for fun." But after I finished that sentence, I realized it was definitely not Regulus in my compartment. Nope, it was Sirius.
"What are you doing in here?" I ask him, eyebrows knit together. What the hell was he doing, and who does he think he is, barging into my compartment? (no I didn't own the compartment, but you get my point don't you?) His company is not one that I want.
"Shh." He hushes me. "Would it kill you to be quiet for a second?" He snapped at me. Well then. I didn't do anything to him. And I've been quiet for the past six years when my family decided I was an embarrassment to the Potter name. I bite my tongue though; there's no point on wasting my breath.
"Well what are you doing in here?" I ask him again, a little bit quieter.
"Just pranked Snivellus. Shh." I heard loud thudding footsteps come crashing by the compartment. Now maybe I should defend my housemate, but I was never fond of Snape. He was never nice to me, and well he creeped me out. Then again, most of my housemates gave me the skeeves.
"That's great," I say dryly, starring at the floor. Would he get the hell out of my compartment now? And where the hell is Regulus!?
"How can you be related to James?" Sirius suddenly says. What the hell?
"I ask myself that question everyday. I also get asked that question everyday by lots of other people, including my parents and James himself," I respond coldly, putting on the unreadable face all Slytherins learn to pull by second year.
"You're a Slytherin though! How can you be a Potter?!"
Sweet baby Jesus, the boy is asking all the questions I ask myself. Where the fuck is Regulus?
"You're a Gryffindor though! How can you be a Black?!" I mock him. God, he's so thick. I watch as his face becomes dark at the mention of his family. Damn Gryffindors. They are failures at hiding their emotions. Slytherin one, Gryffindor zero.
"That's besides the point…but seriously, how can you be related to James?" Sirius sneers. This boy has a mouth on him, he's really rude too. What is his problem with me? He's the one who barged into my compartment! Why is he asking all these question! Goddammit Sirius, leave already! I suppose I'll give him a proper answer.
"I'm sorry I'm not a good little angel like James, and that I can't be in Gryffindor like I should be. Sorry that I can't play quidditch like James can, sorry I can't get good grades like James. I'm sorry I'm not perfect like James is. Maybe I was put in Slytherin because I need to be my own person and be who I want to be, not James Potter's little sister who can't do anything right. Well obviously being put in Slytherin didn't change that, because now I still can't do anything right, my own family hates me and think I'm going to be a bloody death eater! But does anyone take the time to point out anything good I do? No, they are too busy telling me I'm a failure of a Potter. I'm just not bloody good enough for anyone. Well you know what Sirius, you try living my life for a day. You see what it's like to live in the shadow of an older brother who is better then you at everything. You try being told you are a failure at everything you do. You try being told your worthless by everyone. You try not belonging, anywhere you go. Not belonging at home, and not belonging at school. Try waking up every morning and feeling like a total waste of space!" I was pretty much yelling now, and I was standing too. Damn, where did that come from? I never explode like that to anyone, I only rant to Regulus. But this bitch had it coming.
"I know more about that then you know. My family hates me too Jade. I get told I'm a failure, and that I am an embarrassment to my family. You're not the only one you know. The world doesn't revolve around you." He says coldly, his grey eyes narrowing.
"Well then we have a lot more in common then I thought!" I snap. "And at least you have a second family to love you Sirius. I know my mum and dad love you. I have no one. I know I am a failure in my parents eyes. They are more proud of you then they are of me, they love you more. Do you know how much that hurts? To be replaced by your parents. Get the fuck out of my compartment." I point to the door. He left, his face beet red from anger or embarrassment because he just got told of by his best friends little sister. Ha, he couldn't even argue with my point. Maybe I should have been in Ravenclaw, cause I'm pretty damn clever.
So whatcha think of my story? Is it a good idea? I thought of it when I was falling asleep last night. Hope you like it!
Author's Note 2.0
Well shit, going back and editing makes me realize that I have improved a lot with my writing. My grammar was horrible WHY DIDN'T ANY OF YOU TELL ME.