A Reverse Cinderella Story - RitsuxMugi, with cameos from others!

Happy birthday Chibi xD I didn't really want to lift my hiatus status but it's too late lol. This is for a certain person who owes me a Mugitsu oneshot since forever.

Oh, it's crack by the way, if the summary's not obvious enough. It will not make sense. Feh, first K-on fanfic I wrote and this is what came out *sigh* Nothing compared to the many amazing fanfics on this site. Maa, it's just for entertainment purposes, if you can get over how crappy it is lol

Disclaimer: I don't own K-on! but I do own that cake carriage xD


Kotobuki Tsumugi stares out of her window, sighing wistfully.

As the princess of a powerful kingdom, you'd think she has everything that mere commoners like us can only dream of, right?

Wrong.

She is wealthy, yes, but none of it is really her money.

The princess suffers constantly her father's stern rule, always telling her to focus more on dancing and learning politics instead of learning how to make snacks; her haughty mother is always nagging at her to snag rich princes and whatnot.

So much restriction! But, like a well-brought up lady she is, the princess only does as she is told, all the while giving them her signature polite smiles. She should really be scowling at them, but a lady should do no such thing. Besides, her eyebrows would just look weird if she scowls.

Moving on.

There is only one hobby she is able to keep without gaining her parents' attention, since she does it so often anyways that her parents only brush it off.

Mugi is usually at the very top of the tower, looking out of the window. But she doesn't just look at random things. No, she observes the beautiful interactions of the maids in the yard. Specifically the interactions between her personal maid Yui, her sister Ui, and the bookshop's owner's daughter Nodoka.

Ahh, so wonderful. Yui is just such a sweet girl. She would purposely chat with her sister and Nodoka at where Mugi can see them, even though Yui doesn't really understand the princess's odd request. Such a sweet girl.

This is Mugi's only…fun. Other than this, life is really suffocating – on the outside, she has everything, whether it is wealth, status and parents who seem to spoil her with riches.

Big fat lie. Her father would not allow her to buy anything. Her mother certainly does not spoil her. So really, she is just a prisoner at her own castle.

So, a prince to sweep her off her feet?

Negative. Mugi has no such fantasy.

She'd much rather someone like…like…a hunter or a farmer to rescue her. It'd be more interesting that way, no?

-C-A-K-E-

Like all other fairy tales, some sort of new character just magically enters the plot to solve such dilemma.

Indeed, on one typical day (of course it is typical, it would just make this event so much more miraculous), Yui enters Mugi's room with sparkles in her eyes.

"Mugi-chan Mugi-chan! I found a cat! Isn't it cute!"

Mugi sweatdrops at the black cat, which is scratching Yui's arms like there's no tomorrow. Hissing furiously, the cat continues to squirm to try to get out of the maid's hold.

Yui appears to be oblivious to all that.

"Yui-chan, I think it's injured," Mugi hurriedly brings out a first-aid kit (never mind the setting is supposed to be in the medieval times). Before the cat can attack her, Mugi quickly bandages the scratch on its leg.

The cat calms down, seeing that Mugi means no harm. Really, it's very cute and even cuter when it purrs under the princess's caresses. Yes, princesses are supposed to be good with animals. It's a fundamental character setting.

"That's not fair, Mugi-chan, I want to pet it too!"

The cat snarls and bites her. Yelping, Yui trips and somehow, because the plot demands it, ends up kissing the cat.

Poof~

When the magical fog disappears, the cat has transformed into a small girl with cat ears! With those twin pigtails and fluffy looking ears, it's a crime, really!

"Hnff, I should thank you for clearing my curse. My name is Azusa-"

"Azunyan~ Yay my own cat!"

"What!"

Yui hugs the girl close and starts rubbing her head against hers. The cat-girl growls but also blushes like any self-respecting tsunderes should.

Mugi just stares at them dazedly. No she isn't drooling. A lady does not drool.

"Anyways. I've been around the castle for quite awhile actually. As a thank you for bandaging my injury, I believe I can help you. I know someone who can grant your wish," Azusa speaks in a serious voice, but with those adorable ears it is just too hard to take her seriously.

"Ne ne where's my reward then?" Yui really isn't letting go of the girl anytime soon.

"I'm letting you hug me aren't I?"

"That's not enough~ I want more~"

"Get off me!"

Mugi did not hear a single word Azusa just said, for she is too busy watching the interactions between her maid and this cat-girl.

The princess is gracefully wiping her nose. No no, a lady does not nosebleed.

-C-A-T~E-A-R-S-

Of course way later, in order to push the plot along, Azusa still gets the help she had promised. To enhance the mysterious factor of this unexpected help, the 'help' arrives at night.

Duh.

Mugi has sneaked out of the tower and entered the yard with the help from Yui and Azusa. It is quite thrilling – just who would be granting her wish?

Suddenly, a stranger appears out of thin air! She is wearing some purple witch hat and glittering robes, complete with incredibly fake-looking wings.

Sawako, she calls herself.

"Tsk, I was napping, why did you call me?" She appears to be very irritated.

Azusa hisses, flattening her ears. "You still owe me a favor by putting me under that stupid curse!"

"Fine fine. This seems fun anyways. At least I got some screen time," rolling her eyes, Sawako waves a plastic wand, conjuring up a strawberry cake carriage!

It doesn't matter how the mechanisms worked – it's a cake carriage!

"Ano, why is it made of cakes?" Mugi dares to venture a guess.

"Dunno," Sawako yawns, "I think I had that for dessert."

"So delicious!" Yui is already on it, chomping on the carriage door.

"Stop it! And don't touch the wheels!" Azusa bites the brunette's hand, though it has no effect.

"Ano, shouldn't there be horses to pull the carriage along?" Mugi decides to ask just in case.

"No. My apprentice is going to drive it for you. Come out now, don't be shy," Sawako folds her arms proudly as a black-haired girl pokes her head out from inside the carriage (the door is already gone, thanks to Yui).

The apprentice sorceress is wearing a skimpy nurse costume (the modern kind, not the medieval kind). She shyly introduces herself as Mio, and that she is not wearing this costume willingly. The only reason she's wearing it because Sawako claims that even fairy tales need fanservice and that it's supposed to increase the duration of the magic spell or something.

Anyways.

Everything appears to be set up. Sawako says that the carriage will go to where the princess's heart desires. However, there are two conditions – Mugi has to wear a mask to cover the upper half of her face, and that she has to be back by the castle by midnight.

"Ehhh? I thought You're going to grant her wish?" Yui grumbles, still munching on pieces of the cake-carriage.

"Hey now, I'm not a miracle worker. This is only my part-time job," Sawako adjusts her glasses, "My main job is to design revolutionary costumes that will make the world bow at my feet!"

"Thank you for your help," Mugi bows and politely pretends she didn't hear what Sawako just said, like any refined lady should. She steps inside the carriage (which has carpet floor somehow), and off she goes!

Onwards to the next stage of the plot!

-C-O-S-T-U-M-E~F-E-T-I-S-H-

In the end, Mugi has to walk to the village on foot. All those eerie sounds from the forest had frightened the driver/sorceress Mio so much that she crashed the carriage too many times.

The cake is now reduced to a gooey mess.

Mio had apologized tearfully and offered to fly Mugi on her broom, but the blonde had declined politely, not wanting to hurt the sorceress's feelings yet wanting to arrive at wherever the destination is in one piece.

But it is really fun this way, walking through the forest at night, alone! And the owls are so cute!

Oh, she sees lights ahead. Mugi vaguely remembers from her lessons that it is the village that provides most of the food to the castle. Well, she has always been curious as to how food is obtained, so perhaps she should have her adventure in this particular village?

The second Mugi steps into the edge of the farmland, she is knocked over.

"Ah sorry 'bout that! Have you seen my bull by any chance?"

Mugi blinks rapidly, staring at the muddy face of a girl with bright amber eyes. Her long bangs are pulled back by a yellow bandana, and she is wearing rather dirty, worn-out clothes.

"Oi, my bull? Have you seen it?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. No, I haven't seen your bull. I actually just got here from the forest…"

The girl looks impressed. "Alone? That's cool! Hmm, are you a runaway by any chance? Well I don't really care. Hey, wanna come over to my place? I just about to cook dinner! Let me make it up to you for running into you!"

Without waiting for Mugi to answer, the girl pulls her towards a small hut on the edge of the farmland.

"Make yourself at home! Oh, name's Ritsu by the way! What's your name?"

Mugi is hesitant; Sawako did not warn her about telling people her identity, but it should be a secret, right?

"Oh, it's ok, you don't have to tell me! I get it, you're runaway so you can't tell me your name, right! It's cool! I'm just gonna get the burgers ready!"

Somehow, in this primitive hut, there is an electric stove (where does the electricity come from?) and a huge selection of frying pans.

Fascinated, Mugi watches as Ritsu cooks the steaks in an exaggerated way, flipping them, juggling them, and tossing them onto the plates at the table, dead center.

"Cool huh? Don't be just shy, just say I'm awesome. It's ok, just let it out!" Ritsu grins and puffs out her chest.

Mugi bursts into giggles at Ritsu's antics. Ritsu grins again and proceeds to speak of her amazing adventures in the forest, fighting deadly wolves with bare hands (and a shovel), avoiding man-eating plants and defeating killer monkeys!

The princess couldn't stop laughing; Ritsu is just so funny! And even though they are in this dingy little cottage, it is really quite warm, something Mugi has never felt before back in the castle. Under the dim light, with just the two of them surrounded by nature, this is really quite romantic isn't it? She has always observed the interactions between girls from afar, but now she gets to experience it herself. Her heart is filled with bliss.

But good things always come to an end. Mugi gets up from her seat dejectedly, saying that she has to leave now.

"Whaaat? Already? I guess you don't want whoever's chasing you to catch up huh? I'd lend you my bull but I don't know where it is right now, tsk. That's too bad! I have a great time chatting with you! It's kinda lonely living here by yourself…it's not really fun farming alone. There's no one to play mud fights with!" Ritsu looks sad that Mugi is leaving, making the blonde smile in elation.

"I have a great time too, Ritsu. I enjoy spending time with you. As a thank you, I'm going to make you something!"

This is Mugi's pride and joy. Before her parents found out, Mugi always practiced making snacks and food – specifically, one kind of food. Ritsu's kitchen has the just the right ingredients. Mugi quickly makes her gift, slicing the daikon radishes in a way only an expert can.

"My maid- I mean, my friend told me they shape like my eyebrows, and they taste good. So I hope you will like them too."

"Oooh! Takuan! They look delicious! Thanks! But can't I at least see your face?" Ritsu gazes at Mugi hopefully and leans close. The princess blushes at the closeness and backs away.

"I'm sorry, I really have to go. Thank you, Ritsu."

"Hey, wait-"

Mugi runs out of the cottage, her heart pounding; she really wishes she could stay, but it must be close to midnight now. Just what would happen if she doesn't make it back in time? How will she do it since the carriage is demolished?

Like in all magical universe, unexpected help arrives at just the right time!

Mio is sitting on top of a huge pink bunny, waving at her shyly. The huge creature looks more like a plushie toy than an actual bunny. Next to them is a huge blue bear that also looks like a plushie.

"They are willing to you a ride home. Aren't they cute?"

The sorceress hugs the bunny; she doesn't seem scared of the forest anymore. Well, the two giant plushies seem to have plowed through the forest, leaving a direct path from the village to the castle. It's a wonder how the people at the castle or Ritsu did not hear anything.

But it's the end of the day, so Mugi isn't really surprised at anything anymore.

-C-A-N-N-E-D~T-A-K-U-A-N-

Finally, climax of the tale! Introduce the eye-rolling conflict the protagonists must overcome – the princess is engaged to a prince of a neighboring country!

It's up to the real pr-, cough, farmer, to save the day!

Ritsu is going to the castle to deliver the crops as usual, but on her way there, she is blocked by some snotty brat riding on some white steed!

"Oi, you're blocking my way! These bags of rice aren't exactly light ya know? I don't have my bull to carry them!"

"Hey hey watch your tongue, you filthy commoner! I am the prince-"

BAM

The said prince is knocked out. The horse escapes the scene wisely. Never mind why the prince did not come with guards or some sort of royal parade.

"I hate people who talks like that," Ritsu shakes her fist, kicking at the unconscious body. "You were blocking me, so the polite thing would be the get the hell out of the way, yea?"

Ritsu sniffs at her own clothes. Hmm, the prince is right about one thing. Her clothes does kinda smell. Well well, the prince has some pretty nice garments and a cool cape. Is he some kind of prince? Ritsu stares at an invitation letter on the ground. She can't read, but from the pictures, she deduces that there must be some kind of party going on.

Would she be able to see that mysterious blonde from the other day? Well, she'll never know if she doesn't try!

The farmer looks at the prince's clothes again. There are no sparkles. Good.

Yes, change of clothes - transform!

Then the poor unnamed NPC gets dumped into a ditch nearby.

-C-H-A-R-A-C-T-E-R~A-B-U-S-E-

Mugi is trying her best not to glare at her parents. Engagement? Without her consent? And what's with this boring masquerade dance? Her so-called fiancé has the guts to arrive late! Yet there he is, mingling with the crowd quite well, laughing loudly and speaking in a rather strange way that is unsuitable for court. His voice is also rather feminine and familiar –

Ritsu! Mugi almost hits herself for not realizing it earlier. What is Ritsu doing here? She seems to be having fun, with the way she grins.

Could it be-?

"Ahem! I have an important announcement to make!" Ritsu, wearing the prince's clothes, instantly gains everybody's attention.

"I'm actually looking for a special someone!"

"I hope you mean the princess," King Kotobuki speaks in a grave voice.

"Huh? Sure, I guess. My princess. But everybody is wearing a mask and I can't tell where she is! Except I have one clue! Well, two clues."

Ritsu takes out a jar of takuan from under her cape and holds it into the air like a divine object!

"I will marry whoever has eyebrows that match these delicious takuan slices! She has to have blonde hair too!"

Uproar in the ball room.

Mugi could hardly believe her ears – Ritsu wants to marry her? But the princess is unable to leave her seat beside the king, whose face is getting nastier and nastier by the second.

Many hopeful blondes all line up, taking off their masks when it is their turn. Ritsu would slap a slice onto their eyebrow, shaking her head when it doesn't match. Soon, there is no more candidates left, except –

"Hey! Could I-?" Ritsu gestures at the jar, grinning at Mugi.

"This is ridiculous!" The king is about to get up from his seat when the princess stops him. "No, father, let me do it."

Mugi takes a deep breath and nods to herself.

This is it.

Ritsu's eyes are completely focused on her, even more entranced after the mask is off.

"Wow, you're really pretty, and," Ritsu gently puts a slice onto her eyebrow, "you're the one."

They smile at each other, completely lost in their own world. The king and queen are speechless. The rest of the attendees are speechless. Using this shocked silence, Ritsu grabs Mugi's hand and pulls out of the room and out of the castle.

"Oh hey, there's my bull!"

The large black bull is just standing there, as if waiting for its master, as if it knows its presence is required at this particular moment.

The two quickly get onto its back, still holding hands.

After sharing a short, sweet kiss, the princess and the farmer ride into the sunset.

Never mind the fact the forgotten, beaten up prince is never found. Never mind the fact that the king didn't send anyone after them. Never mind the fact that any of the previous characters never appeared again. Never mind whatever sort of complications might arise from this plot-hole-ful tale.

Ritsu and Mugi live happily ever after.


A/N: "What the hell/Nandeyane?" It's okay if you think this, coz that certainly went through my head when I finished writing xD Like, what the fudge did I just write?

Go, sorceress Mio, go find farmer Ricchan with your pink bunny. Le gasp maybe even a Bunny vs Bear battle royale? This thing is wacky enough lol

~Athyra