Author's Note: This is a short Dalton Logan/Kurt one-shot I wrote to entertain myself while Dalton is on hiatus. Logan is probably my favorite Dalton boy - I like that he has enough flaws and problems in his life to make up for Blaine's lack of. I love Klaine - both Blaine and Kurt - but Logan is just so much more interesting. He can be snarky and devious, but everyone seems to forget that Kurt can be too, that Kurt has said and done some pretty nasty things in the past. Kurt will always be my favorite character, but he's definitely not as innocent as a lot of people make him out to be.
Warnings for fluff :D
Logan knocked over the king with a lazy flick of his finger. Kurt, lying on the grass on the opposite side of the chessboard, pouted as he picked it up. "You're really good," he admitted, smoothing out the scarf he was lying on.
Logan laughed. "I know," he teased. "But in this case it was just a matter of you being really bad." Kurt picked up the fallen piece and threw it at him, but Logan ducked and the king flew right over his head. Neither of them made any move to pick it up.
"What would you like to do now?"
"Not another game of chess,"said Kurt pointedly. "We could go for a walk?"
"I really don't feel like it."
"Me neither," said Kurt, looking out at the summer sun that was creeping up on the shadow of their tree. "Homework?" he suggested weakly.
"You've got to be kidding," said Logan grinning. "It's Saturday! Can't we just relax?" He rolled over onto his back and looked up at the branches, lifting one hand into the air to block any light he could see through the canopy. The shadows of the leaves cast moving, mesmerizing shapes on and around Logan, and for a moment they just lay there in silence, listening to crickets in the grass. Past Logan, Kurt could see the Dalton football team practicing away by the stands. Kurt stifled a yawn. It was really peaceful.
And then Kurt's phone started ringing.
"What is that?" Logan moaned halfheartedly, craning his neck to look back and give Kurt his best quizzical expression.
"Lady Gaga," said Kurt quickly, rummaging through his rucksack for his phone.
"It is not," said Logan bluntly, sitting up again and brushing grass from his hair as Kurt found the phone.
"Recorded," Kurt explained quickly. "Poorly. McKinley Glee club – when I was there. It must be Tina." He picked up. "Hello?"
"Kurt!" said Tina loudly over the background noise on her end, and then a muffled, "Be quiet!" followed by "Where are you?"
"Near the football field at Dalton, getting bugs in my hair and grass stains on my second favorite scarf." Kurt sighed dramatically and stuck out his tongue at Logan, who grinned.
"What are you doing there?" Tina asked, but was interrupted by what sounded like Santana, "Checking out the football players, obviously."
"Playing chess with Logan," said Kurt quickly.
"Great," said Rachel, who it now seemed had the phone. "We'll be right there!"
Before Kurt could object, Rachel flipped the phone shut. "I told you we should have just called him from the start," said Rachel, rolling her eyes.
"I thought we could surprise him," said Tina, taking back the phone. "Besides, it was Mercedes who suggested calling him, not you."
"Well, I was about to."
"Sure you were," said Puck. "Why am I here again?"
"Because we needed a guy – we're on boy territory. We have no idea how these people think," said Rachel. "Except for maybe Santana. But even if we were going to rely on her expertise, we'd need you to keep her out of trouble. Let me repeat – this is an all boys school, full of good looking, alien and hormonal young men in uniform, who last saw Santana strutting her stuff in her little red cheer leading skirt. You are here as a concerned boyfriend."
"Right," said Puck slowly, casting an anxious glance at Santana. Santana rolled her eyes at him.
"Okay," said Rachel cheerfully, turning to lead the eccentric group through Dalton. "Let's go!"
They received a few curious glances as they made their way through the school grounds. Mercedes flashed the visitor pass at anyone who looked too long. They had to stop twice to ask for directions.
"There aren't even that many students," Mercedes complained, fanning herself with the visitor pass as they reached the stands, "Why do they need such a big school?" They had to narrow their eyes against the glaring summer sun.
"Is that him?"
Santana grinned. "Well that's definitely Logan," she said.
"And Kurt!" said Mercedes. "Kurt!" she called, waving to him. Kurt looked up and returned the wave halfheartedly, grinning and shaking his head as he said something to Logan.
"What are you doing here," Kurt said, getting up to greet the girls, and Puck, as they approached. He pulled an iPod earphone our of his ear and handed it back to Logan, who pocketed the device.
"Boy, as if you don't know," said Mercedes, pulling a small wrapped present out of her pocket and shoving at at Kurt. "Happy Birthday!" Before he could open it, she pulled him into a bone crushing hug. Tina hit him on the shoulder as Mercedes pulled away. Kurt avoided looking at Logan.
"You didn't tell us!" said Tina, outraged. "How can you just spend your birthday out here, alone?"
"I'm not alone," Kurt started to complain, but was interrupted.
"We would have held you a party!" said Rachel.
"I wanted to bake you a cake," said Brittany.
"Sorry Kurt," said Mercedes. "I know you don't like making a big deal over your birthday, but we were in Glee yesterday and Mr. Schue suggested this week we play around with mixups including classic children songs, like nursery rhymes -"
"- Baabaa Black Sheep- " said Brittany quietly.
"- and then Artie suggested Happy Birthday, and somehow that lead to us all going round the group telling everyone when our birthdays were. Tina came up to me after class and asked when yours was." She looked at him apologetically.
"I threatened to ask Finn if she wouldn't tell me," said Tina proudly.
"How's that a threat?" asked Santana.
"If Finn were here, Rachel would find some way to make the entire day about them," said Mercedes. "That's why we invited Puck instead."
"I'm standing right here," said Rachel flatly.
"Anyway," said Tina. "We wanted to sing our mixup for you, only it's not actually finished. But we thought we could come and give you presents and sing Happy Birthday anyway. We don't have to make a big deal out of it if you don't want to," she added quickly.
Kurt smiled, but his heart was only half in it. "Thanks, girls," he said, "and Puck. Really. It's nice to see you again." He cleared his throat. "This is Logan," he said. "You remember him?"
"Of course," said Santana, smiling at him. "But where's your boyfriend?"
Kurt felt his cheeks heat up. "He went to visit his family," he said. "It's his sister's birthday too."
"You should have had a joint party!" said Tina, but Kurt shook his head.
"Did Blaine know it's your birthday?" asked Logan quietly.
"No," said Kurt. He shrugged. "Like I said, I don't like to make a big deal out of it." When Logan opened his mouth to ask, Kurt shook his head quickly and shot him an I'll tell you later expression.
"We were thinking of taking you out for lunch," said Tina.
"Breadstix," Santana clarified.
"Or anywhere you want, really," said Mercedes. "Or we could just grab something from your school's cafe and hang out here."
"Yeah, this is a really nice spot you guys have," said Tina, sitting down next to Logan. "It's so quiet!"
"It usually is," Logan said. Kurt shot him a sharp look, but Logan was smiling in a way he didn't smile at the other Windsor boys. When Rachel challenged him to a game of chess, Logan readily accepted, warning her of his expertise. Logan, like Blaine, seemed to be making a real effort to get to know his other friends. Only with Logan Kurt couldn't be 100% sure of his motives.
He decided not to let it bother him. It was a relaxed atmosphere – he could just pretend it was any other day. When Puck pulled out a deck of cards (from his pocket, surprising everyone – apparently he challenged the other football players to poker before and after football games, so always had a deck on him), they formed a circle and played Go fish, excluding Rachel and Logan who were still at their game. When Kurt ran out of cards he stole Logan's iPod and lay back on the grass a meter away and closed his eyes, searching desperately for a distraction from his thoughts.
Someone had followed Logan into the bathroom - he could hear the footsteps behind him, the scuff of denim on the tiled floor. He cast a glance at the grand, polished mirrors and caught the eyes of Kurt's tall and intimidating friend. He knew it wasn't coincidence that they were there together when Puck didn't drop his eyes, but held Logan's coolly, crossing his arms over his chest. Logan quirked an eyebrow, waiting for Puck to say something.
"We need to talk about Kurt."
"Look," said Puck, "I guess this isn't my place to say, but you're really obvious, dude. That way you look at him, it isn't like the way Santana or Brittany look at other guys. It's the way Rachel looks at Finn, or Quinn looks at Sam. I've seen it before - trust me, I know what I'm talking about. But I gotta be blunt.
"That Blaine guy. Sure, he might try too hard and is about as interesting as my Aunt Hilda, but Kurt really loves him. It's almost creepy how much. I don't know or care what you are to him, but if you do anything to hurt my boy, I'll kick your ass."
Logan turned around to face Puck properly and with renewed respect. "Trust me," he said smiling, "I have no intention of breaking up Blaine and Kurt." He paused. "Not directly, anyway."
Puck's expression was full of disbelief. Logan continued. "You're right," he said, brushing some hair behind his ear. "I'm in love with Kurt, more than I ever thought I could be. But I am very aware of how he acts around Blaine. If someone tried to force that happiness from him, he would hate them.
"But you're also right in saying that Blaine is boring. Kurt is a spontaneous guy – everything about him screams personality. Kurt craves adventure and new experiences, and while he's definitely getting that from Windsor, he'll never get enough of it from Blaine. Kurt needs someone who isn't afraid to take risks, someone who is just as much of a daredevil as he is - someone who craves the same excitement he does, and who doesn't just pretend to make Kurt smile." Logan lifted his chin and looked at Puck directly, and what he said next he said with absolute surety. "When he realizes this, he'll leave Blaine. And he'll be happier with me."
Puck regarded Logan for a minute, searching his expression with could-be dangerous eyes. Strangely, Puck seemed to be regarding him in approval rather than disgust. Slowly and eventually, Puck said, "Maybe you're right. But my threat still stands. He got enough crap at McKinley, he doesn't need any drama here."
Logan smiled and nodded, but inwardly thought, You're wrong. Kurt is so bored at the moment he could murder for some kind of drama. Why could no one else see it?
"It was really nice seeing you," Kurt had said as they stood around the Dalton gate, waiting for the bus back to McKinley. "Thank you for the presents."
Now, walking back to the dorms with Logan, he put a hand up to touch the pendant Mercedes had bought him. He missed them. He missed the arguing, the fighting over lead roles, the crazy substitute teachers and Mr. Schue's wild friends, and helping the girl's with their boy troubles. He even missed the strangest things, like Sue Sylvester and her clever remarks about Mr. Schue's hair.
But he also knew he could never go back. Because just like he missed McKinley, he would miss Dalton – Windsor especially – too much.
"Why didn't you tell anyone it was your birthday?" asked Logan as they reached the fork that divided the routes to Stuart and Windsor.
Kurt looked embarrassed. "It's stupid," he said. "But I just really don't like celebrating my birthday."
"By why not?" Logan stressed honestly perplexed. When Kurt didn't reply, Logan sighed and said, "Come up to my room. I have a present for you."
Kurt stared at him. "What do you mean?" he asked quickly.
"Don't look at me like that," said Logan, smirking. "Don't worry, I'm not going to try and lure you into my bed or anything. You said you were a Taurus, so I knew your birthday was soon. I kind of assumed you were going to tell me when, though." He grabbed Kurt's elbow and steered him towards Stuart house. Kurt looked at him suspiciously, but didn't resist.
Stuart was a lot tidier than Windsor. There were no random nerf guns left lying around the hallways, none of the doors had doorhandings with sarcastic comments on them, and there wasn't a five meter tall rainbow stack of cushions in the far corner of the common room. As they passed the open common room door Derek turned sharply in his chair and raised his eyebrows, his expression blank. Logan glared at him and pushed Kurt ahead.
"I'm up this staircase," he said. "But you'd know that, because we have the same layout as Windsor."
"You have David's room," Kurt said as they stopped outside Logan's door. "I mean, the equivalent. If the layouts are the same but reversed." Kurt paused. "Never mind."
Logan laughed as he unlocked the door, but Kurt hesitated as Logan stepped in. "You don't have to come in if it makes you uncomfortable," Logan said, and then licked his lips, as though steeling himself, before adding, "Although I really didn't pick you as being that much of a coward."
Kurt pursed his lips and glared. Was this another one of Logan's tricks? Did Logan think he could taunt Kurt into – into whatever it was Logan wanted from him? Did he really think Kurt was that naive?
"Are you implying there's something to be afraid of?" he asked coolly.
Logan smile turned bitter as he looked away. "You think there is."
Kurt realized that the implication wasn't that Kurt was afraid of Logan making a move on him – it was that Kurt didn't trust him not to.
In three strides Kurt stepped past Logan and into the room, shutting the door behind him. But he said,"You can't blame me. You've done some things in the past that make it difficult for me to trust you."
"I know," said Logan, crouching down next to his bedside table and pulling out the drawer. "It's one of the reasons I like you so much. You're the only person willing to give me a second chance."
It was strange how comfortable Kurt had become with hearing little professions like this from Logan. They had been friends for a couple of months now. It was strange how it started. Kurt couldn't spend all his free time with Blaine; it was suffocating. Since Reed and Shane had started dating, Reed spent a lot of his free time out of school. The twins were great, but not best-friend material – they already had each other. Mercedes lived too far away, and Dwight was too, well, too Dwight - Kurt didn't know a thing about the occult.
So Kurt had started spending more time with Logan. What started off as casual conversations before and after classes became races through the courtyard, swordfight lessons and lengthy strolls around the surrounding countryside. Logan was surprisingly opinionated about things like religion and philosophy, and less taught but no less important things like fashion and social rules, and they could talk for hours, sometimes getting passionately vehement about particular magazines or theories, in ways Kurt would never be comfortable around Blaine.
Kurt didn't want to ruin Blaine's opinion of him, he didn't want to be rude and snarky and too opinionated around him, but he could be entirely himself around Logan. It was refreshing.
"Here," said Logan as he found what he was looking for. It was a unsealed white, blank envelop. He looked at it for a moment, flicking his tongue out along his lips as though reconsidering. He didn't get up and give it to Kurt right away, but set it down on the table and moved to his bed.
"Why didn't you want to celebrate your birthday?" he asked again.
"It's stupid," Kurt said quietly, but the atmosphere in the room had changed instantly. Kurt suddenly looked lost. Blank. Scared. Logan didn't know how to describe it.
"It doesn't look stupid," said Logan.
Kurt looked at him, then looked away, and then went to stand by the window and leaned on the windowsill. He stood there for a minute, possibly collecting his thoughts. Every time he opened his mouth Logan expected him to say something, but he would shut it again or sigh.
"I don't want to grow up," Kurt said eventually. He stared hard at the bird nesting in the tree outside. He had never admitted it to anyone before. His throat felt tight. He tried to swallow the feeling away, but it wouldn't budge.
"Not so dramatic," Kurt said. He bit his lower lip. "I wouldn't mind growing up if..."
When he realized Kurt wasn't going to continue, Logan prompted softly, "If what?" but Kurt just stood motionless at the window. He noticed then that Kurt's hands were clenched white with tension, that his breathing was deeper than usual, his frame more rigid. Logan stood up and went to stand by Kurt. "If what, Kurt?" he asked gently, going into a quiet panic. What could Kurt possibly be so afraid of?
When Kurt looked back at him, his eyes were blank. He seemed determined not to cry – he swallowed and looked away again, this time at Logan's lamp.
"My voice." Kurt whispered those two words and Logan understand instantly. He had never really considered it – he knew his own voice wasn't going to change much more. But he could see why Kurt, who sang so high, would be worried. Kurt loved his voice. He loved how unique it was, how people complimented him on it. All the boys in the Warblers loved to sing, but of all of them, Logan thought it would hurt Kurt the most to go through any kind of dramatic voice change.
And now Kurt probably expected him to comfort him, and Logan didn't have a clue how. Blaine would probably whisk him into a comforting embrace, but Logan couldn't do that. Dwight could get away with touching Kurt more than Logan could. Logan was a good actor - he could lie his way out of anything - but he struggled when it came to sincerity. He didn't know how to deal with emotion. For the first time in the past year, he wished Blaine were there.
"It'll be okay," he tried weakly.
"You don't understand!" said Kurt half angrily, half hopelessly. "You're not a counter tenor. What if my voice changes, Logan? What if I – What if I lose it?" He put a hand to his mouth to smother a sob or shaky breath. Logan went pale – he reached out a hand, and then withdrew it, and then reached out again. He had no idea what to do.
"You won't," he whispered quickly.
"Don't say you'll love me just as much whether or not I can sing, because-"
"I wasn't going to," Logan lied quickly. "Even if your voice changes, you'll always be able to sing. Beautifully."
Kurt shook his head. He didn't want to simply sing 'beautifully' in Logan's eyes. He wanted to be able to sing Defying Gravity as well as Rachel. He always wanted to be able to hit higher notes than anyone else in the Warblers. It was what he was good at.
But he shouldn't be venting on Logan like this. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. This wasn't Logan's problem. "Sorry," he said. It came out rough and short, but the tension in Kurt's throat was gone. He counted backwards inside his head, and by the time Logan started talking again he felt a lot calmer, and painfully embarrassed about his outburst.
"It's not going to happen," Logan said determinedly. "There must be something I can buy, some instructor I can hire you to train your voice..." He trailed off, thinking, running a hand violently through his hair, tugging at the roots. "There must be some way I can help you."
"Thank you," said Kurt quietly, wiping his eyes. "You're an idiot." For a second Logan looked momentarily, and sincerely, confused, which made Kurt laugh. The suddenness of it seemed to catch Logan by surprise.
"It might not happen anyway, right?" It probably would – Kurt didn't know of many grown men with his vocal range - but Kurt would have to deal with it when it happened. "Now that I've embarrassed myself, why don't I open your present?"
Logan smiled awkwardly. "Right," he said, picking up the envelop and handing it to Kurt. "It's not much," he said, "but I think you'll like it. I thought Reed and Blaine would be buying you every possible material thing you could ever want, so I wanted to give you something a bit different..."
Kurt stared at the sheet of paper. It was a music sheet, with lyrics. Logan waited patently as Kurt read it, first the lyrics, then the notes, then a couple of times more to put it together in his head. He sat down on the bed while he waited, but Kurt didn't move a muscle.
Eventually Kurt blinked and breathed in. "What is this?" he asked quietly, trailing a finger down the lyrics. He raised his eyes slowly to Logan's, but Logan didn't have a clue what he was thinking. Logan was good at reading people, but he often stumbled when it came to Kurt.
"It's a promise," said Logan levelly. "A promise that I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. I love you, Kurt, and I need you, and I will cling to you and maybe drag you down a little sometimes, because my happiness is just as important to me as yours is. But you're so darn happy with Blaine. I can't sabotage that. I know you probably think I'm still trying to, even right this second. I know you don't trust me, and with good reason. But I honestly, sincerely want you to keep smiling. It would break my heart if you stopped.
"I can't promise to love you forever, to be your knight in shining armor and take a bullet for you if you need it. I can't stop loving you just because you want me to, and if my presence ever causes you to suffer I can't promise to leave. I'm just not as selfless as Blaine. But I can promise to always, always be your friend." Something Blaine can never do, he added silently, and something I could never do for Blaine.
Kurt opened his mouth, and then shut it, and then said "You contradicted yourself," with a small, almost shy, smile. Logan returned the smile tentatively and nodded.
"The only exception is if making you happy makes me doubly unhappy. You know me. I'm a selfish guy."
"You know, I kind of expected you to be screaming at me by now."
"You're my best friend – don't look so surprised! - and you've just given me the most heartfelt speech anyone ever has, and written the most beautiful platonically romantic song for me I've ever read." Kurt smiled sadly. "You wear your mask really well, Logan, but recently you've been an open book. I can see how much this is hurting you."
And me, Kurt thought, his heart clenching painfully. From hereon in it was going to get more difficult, because Kurt was in love with Logan, he had known it for weeks, but he could never admit it. He simply loved Blaine more.
Logan didn't know what to say. How long had he been so relaxed around Kurt? He tried to think back, but couldn't remember. No wonder Puck had been able to read him so easily. He had gotten careless.
But was it really a bad thing? Logan wondered.
"It's a good thing we like each other so much, or this moment might be really awkward," said Kurt awkwardly. Logan laughed. He wasn't going to offer to sing the song to Kurt – singing to Kurt had simply become something too intimate. Instead he held out his hand and said "I love you, but this is the last time you'll hear it," hoping he was lying. "I won't make it awkward for you anymore."
Please make it awkward for me. The words sprang unbidden to Kurt's lips, but he swallowed them down and said instead, "Thank you," taking Logan's hand.
He knew a day would come when he would have to admit to his feelings, but right now, this was comfortable. Right now, he was happy. He grinned. "Blaine is going to kill me when he finds out about my birthday."
Logan laughed. "I bet!"