A Christmas First

A/N: This idea came to me in the middle of the night, and I have my wonderful version of Dean to thank for it. Last night was great!

Lisa looked up staring at the fireplace when Dean entered the room.

"Ben's asleep."

She nodded and smiled. She could tell by looking at him that these last seven months had been hard, but she could see he was coming around, coming out of the fog. Lisa watched as his muscular body deftly moved among all the presents around the tree. He stopped inches from her place on the couch and held out his hand. She took it and stood in front of him. He leaned in and gave her a light kiss. Their relationship was an odd one. They loved each other, but until recently Dean had not made any moves toward her in a romantic way. His only explanation was that he couldn't, not yet. She understood. No one could go through what he'd gone through and expect to be emotionally intact. He had never let himself feel anything beyond the carnal feelings before, fight, fear, and love for family. Mostly he only knew how to survive, and that had been hard for several months, but now he seemed to be coming out of the shell his life had put him in.

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it. He felt like a nervous kid. He looked down at his socked feet and took a deep breath. Opened his mouth again and quickly closed it again. "Dean?" Lisa touched his cheek and he looked at her. "You okay?" He nodded and shook his head.

"I, uh, don't know how to say this." He cleared his throat. "You know how you asked what I wanted for Christmas besides the obvious." Lisa nodded and waited for him to finish. "Well, there is one thing that I have never done," he cleared his throat again, "and I want to do it with you." Lisa cocked her head a little and wondered what it could be that Dean has never done that had him so nervous.

"Okay?" He was scaring her a little because she'd never seen him like this. She had seen him cry, sure. She'd seen him angry, drunk, and depressed. Every emotion imaginable, but this was something different. He seemed vulnerable.

"Despite everything I've done and seen, there is one thing that I've never done, and frankly never wanted to until recently and being here with you." Lisa stood waiting to find out what it was. Dean dropped her hand and walked over to the stereo and turned on the CD player. "I've looked for the perfect song. This isn't my style." He gave her a funny smile and shrugged his shoulders. "But, it is perfect." He pushed the play button and the rich voice of Patsy Cline rang from the speakers.

Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonely.

Dean held out his hand. "Will you dance with me?" Lisa smiled and chocked back a laugh.

"Yes." She took Dean's hand and folded herself into his arms. They danced in the living room of their house. The image was sweet and magical. The fire cracked and glowed beside the lit Christmas tree. The presents surrounding it reflecting the lights from the tree and the fire. Dean closed his eyes as he felt Lisa's body move with his. He was crazy all right, crazy about her and Ben, crazy for not doing this sooner.

Halfway through the song Lisa lifted her head from his chest and smiled. "You have never danced with a girl?" Dean shook his head. "Not at a school dance?"

Dean shook his head again. "Nope. I didn't go to school dances. I had to stay home and take care of Sam. As we got older, I would be out on a hunt. I did make sure Sam went to his senior prom," his voice cracked at little at the mention of his brother. "But I never did. I don't dance."

Lisa laughed softly as she pulled her foot back from Dean's. "I see that."

"Sorry." He laughed a little. He pulled her closer again and held her tightly. This was the one part of him that was still innocent in a way. The part of him that had never taken part in that right of passage of having your first slow dance with a girl you like, and that part of him wanted Lisa to be his first.

The song ended and Lisa looked up at Dean. He moved his hand to cup her cheek and softly kissed her lips. "Thank you." She smiled her response. He leaned close to her ear and whispered, "For everything." She looked into his green eyes and saw something she hadn't seen a in a long time. His spark was coming back. It was slowly coming back.

She pulled from his arms and turned off the CD player. She came back over and took his hands. "Any time." She searched his face for any sign that he was fighting the urge to run. "Merry Christmas, Dean." She stepped closer and kissed him. It was a kiss that said everything she wanted him to know. Dean brought his hand to her cheek and deepened the kiss.

He broke away a minute later and smiled the smile that made her melt. A smile she hadn't seen in too many years. "Let's go to bed." He cocked an eyebrow and waited for her answer.

"I thought you'd never ask." She smiled and led her down the hall to what would be their room from now on.