"Chuck Norris! He's gotta be Chuck Norris!" Beastboy exclaimed. Cyborg just shook his head.
"No way man, Bruce Lee!"
"Nu uh! He's definately Chuck Norris!"
"He doesn't even live in Gotham!" Cyborg pointed out.
"Neither does Bruce Lee! But he doesn't have to anyway! He's stinking Chuck Norris!"
"Right... what about that guy from Clash of the Planets?"
"No way! I'd say Kalvin Conroy over him!"
"Conroy? Maybe... what about Bruce Bluewood?"
"He's got the voice for it, but other than that not much going for him... I still think he's Chuck Norris in disgise."
"Who's Chuck Norris in disgise?" asked Raven as she and Robin walked into the room, both extremely bored.
"Who do you think?" asked Robin, severely unammused. For the last two weeks, Cyborg and Beastboy had been trying to figure out the identity of none other than Batman. It was driving him to the brink of insanity every time the conversataion came up. Their guesses were beyond far fetched especially when it had to do with his own identity.
Just yesterday, Batman was dubbed Donald Trump, and Robin was his son, Don Junior. Yea. He was seriously debating just telling them his identity to get them to shut up. The Great Bat-Debate as it had been dubbed, was becoming a great bat-pain-in-the-
"If Batman was Chuck Norris, who would Robin be?" asked Raven, today's voice of logic. Starfire was the lucky one in this situation, Robin thought. She was out visiting Titans East for the week.
Beastboy scratched his head in wonder, trying to think up an answer. Suddenly, it came to him. As he opened his mouth to speak, Robin quickly interuped with a "so help me God Beastboy, if the next words out of your mouth are 'the kid from 'Sidekick'..." he trailed off as Beastboy shut his mouth. One crisis and spew of bad jokes averted. As Cyborg and Beastboy faught on, Robin clenched his fists, counted to twenty, and took a few deep breaths. This was getting out of hand.
"-maybe not Chuck Norris." Robin caught the end of Beastboy's sentence, bringing himself back to reality. He sighed in relief. Maybe the argument would be- "How about Clark Kent, that reporter guy? He could be Batman!" -or not. That's when his brain processed who they'd accused as the Bat. He couldn't help it. A wide smirk covered his face, and a laugh/caugh escaped his lips. At the moment, he wasn't sure whether to burst out laughing or smash his head against a wall repeatedly.
They were seriously accusing Clark. friggin. Kent. of all people as BATMAN? The reporter who lives in Metropolis, who's only disguise is a pair of glasses, is being accused as Batman. But who would ever consider him as Superman? Ugh. Robin really needed to ask Supes if his glasses were magic or what...
"I'll tell you guys right now that Cla-" he couldn't bring himself to say it, "uh, that last guess? WAY off. Really, REALLY way off."
"Yea, like you'd know," Beastboy said, waving him off. Robin just stared incredulously. Did he just-? Seriously?
"Actually, I would know. I have known since I was almost nine," he reminded.
"Mmmhmm, right. Anyway, what about Mitchel Keaton?" Beastboy totally blew him off, continueing to argue with Cyborg. Robin sent Raven a look, and she smirked in reply. Yes, they really are that dumb, it seemed to say.
"Actually, you may be onto something there, with your Mitchel Keaton theory," interupted Raven. "A little bit of a high profile, but not so much that he couldn't sneak off to be Batman at night."
"Really? Raven! Pleaaaaaase? Not you too!" She just smiled evilly and continued making her points. This time, Robin did smash his head against not a wall, but the kitchen table which they were all seated around.
"Well maybe he's Adam North!" Okay, that one was just insulting.
"Or," Robin said, sarcasm oozing from his now sing-songy voice, "Batman could be Bruce Wayne!" He smacked his hand on the table and left the room mumbling quite a few words in Rom that Beastboy really shouldn't be hearing.
"Bruce Wayne?" questioned Raven. "It actually does make sense."
"How? That dude's a total air head!" Beastboy pointed out.
"Can't believe I'm sayin' this, but I agree with BB. He's some girl crazy dumb-ass playboy. How could he be Batman?"
"Just because of that," she said, exasperated. "He could portray that immage to the world so that nobody suspects him as Batman. Polar opposites! Nobody would even dream that he and Batman were one and the same. Plus, he is a billionare. He has the funds to back him up. Batman has that car, and a jet, and a sub, along with Robin and Batgirl's motorcycles and those other gadgets. It can't be cheap."
"So? We have a car and a submarine-slash-spaceship!"
"Yea. And the T-Ship- who payed for that?" Cyborg sat there, stumped. Who had payed for it? "Or what about the tower? We built it out of that spacecraft, but who pays the bills?"
"Why should we know, dude? We never asked Robin that." She rolled her eyes.
"Well I did. You know what he said? His and Batman's 'benafactor' pays for it. If I'm right in thinking, that 'benafactor' is really just Batman. Bruce Wayne."
"Okay, so he's got the founding, but he doesn't have any of his own kids! Who would Robin be?" Beastboy asked.
"Wait, didn't he foster that kid? Whats his name, from the circus? Dick Grayson! He could be Robin if Batman was Bruce Wayne." They all just stared at each other for a moment. It made sense.
"Think about it: Bruce Wayne takes in a foster kid from the circus, and a few weeks later Robin is fighting crime in bright colored clothing. You've seen him train: he's an acrobat, or a gymnast. He's had some training, you can tell," Raven mused.
"So, Batman is a rich playboy, and Robin? A billionare brat?" Beastboy and Cyborg shared a look. "Nah."
Tired of the conversation, Raven left to read a book. All was quiet, until, "I still think he's Chuck Norris."
Reviews/Criticism are very very welcome indeed ;)