disclaimer: sm owns twilight.
Heart racing. Hands shaking. Legs trembling.
It was the moment I had imagined for the past ten years, and only then did I realize why that deep unsettling feeling was always present. The way his eyes narrowed in directly on me made me wish I could crawl into a hole and hide away forever. It was like a bad car accident – I couldn't look away, even though my eyes were burning with tears. He was so angry, and rightly so, but it still hurt for him to look at me that way.
"Bella," Edward whispered, his voice trembling as he said my name.
It had been ten years since I heard him say my name, and every day for ten years, I missed the way it sounded coming from him.
"H-hello," I replied nervously. Ten years, and I couldn't even form one word without stuttering.
I watched intently as his vibrant green eyes darted between my daughter and me. Hurt. It was evident in his eyes, the pain he was feeling. This wasn't our plan. We were supposed to have the little brown haired girl with his green eyes – not my ex-husband's blue ones. We planned on naming our future little girl Macy. And I did; only she didn't have Edward as a father.
Macy Elizabeth. We picked that name out during one of our late night conversations as our long-distance relationship progressed. Most teenagers our age were deciding what parties they were going to attend, but not us. We were different. We spent most of our nights talking about what we wanted for us, for our family – someday. Finish school, support Edward throughout medical school, and once he was finished with his residency, we would start trying for children. The excitement we talked of when we were younger was heartbreaking to remember now, though.
"Momma, can I get the flamingo?" Macy asked, tugging on my shirt and breaking my gaze from Edward for a split second.
Looking from Macy and back to Edward, I nodded deftly.
"Yay!" Macy squealed, grabbing Alice's hand and tugging her down the sidewalk toward the small gift shop. "I'm gonna get the ballerina outfit for her… but I also wanna get the roller skates... Ali, can I get both or will that clash?" I could hear Macy talking loudly as they walked away from me, her voice carrying throughout the large crowd.
I didn't care if Alice had to buy the entire store for Macy at that point, considering it was her fault that Edward saw me in the first place. She'd called out my name as she and Macy walked over to meet me after I exited the dress shop. Alice knew Edward was close by – my eyes were wide and my face was pale when I saw him walk out of the coffee shop. As soon as I'd looked back to Alice, her eyes went wide with shock as well, and that's when she'd given away my hiding spot.
With Macy and Alice gone, I stood just a few feet from Edward. Inch by inch, he moved closer to me, probably shocked that I was standing before him. I was sure that I looked different, being ten years older than when he last saw me, and add to the fact that I'd had a child, so my body would never look like it did before. I was pleased with my appearance, but I wasn't going to kid myself that I was the same girl he knew before.
"W-what are you doing here?" Edward asked, his hands clenching the bag he was holding.
I didn't even know the answer to that question. I just wanted to see him again – not interrupt his life, but just see him from a distance. When I looked on his Facebook page earlier in the day, I insisted that Alice and I take Macy to see the lights in Marshall, knowing Edward was going to be there. It was so, so stupid of me, but I just had to.
"I, uh... I wanted my daughter to see the lights," I answered dumbly. "I loved it so much before..."
The first time Edward made love to me, we had rented a little hotel room in Marshall after we toured the small town's Festival of Lights. Being back in that town and reliving all the memories we made absolutely killed me. It was like I was punishing myself, but maybe that was what I needed.
Edward blinked a few times, obviously not knowing what to say to my stupid comment that vaguely brought up our past. "I live here now."
I didn't know what to say. 'Yeah, I know you do because I have been checking up on you for years.'
"What are you doing in Texas?" he asked hoarsely, pinching the bridge of his nose.
He was standing so close to me I literally ached to reach out and touch him; to feel any part of him that I could. "I live here... in Texas. Just outside Texarkana, actually."
His face contorted with pain. I was ten years too late moving there. "And your husband... I thought he had his own business back in Colorado?"
Of course, Edward would jump right into the nasty stuff. I couldn't blame him though. Clearing my throat, I braced myself for his reaction–good or bad–it was probably going to be bad. 'I told you so...' And I was prepared to hear it from him. "We're divorced." Just as I expected, he smiled sarcastically. My heart dropped. "And my mom died recently... so I had no reason to stay there anymore."
The old Edward I knew, not the smiling one who was happy to hear of my failed marriage, appeared. "I... I'm sorry, Bella."
My eyes filled with even more tears and began to spill over as I sniffled. "She fought it for so long and relapsed about two years ago." I didn't know why I was telling him because honestly, I knew he didn't care about anything else besides the fact that I chose my life in Colorado over him all those years ago.
Edward extended his arm slightly, as if he was going to touch me, but pulled it back almost immediately. "Well, I'm... sorry for your loss. She was a good woman."
Before I could respond, someone called out to Edward. "Come on, Edward! It's almost time for our carriage ride."
And punishing myself even more, I craned my neck around Edward to see who the female voice belonged to. She was beautiful and definitely fit in well with Edward. Tall, dirty blonde hair, clothes too sophisticated for an evening outing – she looked like a damn model.
Suddenly, I felt so small. I needed to get away, although I hated that I was always running away from him. "I really need to go find my daughter…" I wiped away the few tears that had fallen. "Sorry for..." What exactly was I not sorry for? "I've really got to go," I finally said after a long pause.
And like a coward, I hurried away.
Thoughts? Nervous like me? This will be an angsty story, but you guys all know how I am about HEAs, so no worries there - it'll just take a little longer to get to that point. The chapters will be longer than this, but I couldn't really continue the prologue any more than what it is. I feel like I'm posting my first story again - it's been too long! ::biting nails::
Thanks to Jen_328 (Red Pen Mafia) and my prereaders: Teacher1209 and Jadsmama. They have helped me so much and I would not have posted this without their encouragement.
I'm still going to post my other story - Life Flies By - but it will be sometime later this month. Both stories will post once a week.
Thanks for reading! I'll send teasers for the next chapter to everyone who reviews.
My Perfect Mr Imperfect by xrxdanixrx
blossom by ms-ambrosia
Starry Eyed Inside by Rochelle Allison
See you next Thursday! Happy New Year!