Here it is, that last chap! I know it's super long, but it had to be, right? This chapter is so sappy, but I can almost envision Cal's character being sappy when it comes to this! Thank for those who stuck around with me! Hope ya'll enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it!
Cal put his car in park. He turned to Gillian to continue their previous conversation, but he found that she was already unbuckled and stepping out of the car. Following her suit, Cal unbuckled and made his way to her front door. When he made it around the bushes, he saw that Gillian was leaning her back against the wall moving things around in her purse trying to look for her keys. "Need any help there?"She threw her purse towards his face and, by the grace of God, he caught it before it smashed into his face. "Hey, watch it! You could've ruined my rugged, good looks."
She dragged her fingers through her hair, "I remember putting them in there." Then she looked at Cal and giggled. "What good looks?"
"Oi, watch your mouth, woman! I have a key to your apartment." He held up the missing key between his thumb and pointer finger. "I can keep this and drive you back to my place." He was about to put the key in his pocket when Gillian pushed off the wall and made a grab for it. Being the non-drunk person in this equation, he was quicker to pull it away from her outstretched hands. "What do ya say?"
She slyly smiled up at him and grabbed his shirt so that he could hear her whisper, "If you don't give me my keys, I will make you very," she inched closer to his face, "very sorry." Her body was very close to his, leaving no room in the middle.
Cal was temporarily immobile. They hadn't been this close since their last night in Amsterdam. It was intoxicating and arousing at the same time. He leaned in closer so that his lips were mere centimeters from hers. "How sorry will I be, Luv?" He felt her body shiver.
She traced her fingers down his arm, making his own body tremble with anticipation. Then he felt the keys, his only leverage, being snatched away from his hand. She quickly gave him a peck and turned towards the door. She turned her head around as she unlocked it and gave him an evil smile. "Feel sorry now?"
"No, I feel used like a bloody tissue." He walked towards the door and made sure he slipped in before she closed it.
"That's not funny Cal." Even though it was dark in the house, he could sense that she was giving him a stare down.
"It wasn't meant to be funny. I was being serious." He looked around her house. "Now two questions; one, where's the light switch? And two, where's the scotch?"
"I'll get the lights." She stumbled over to a wall leading into her living room and turned on the switch. "I'll go get some glasses in the kitchen. The scotch is on the book shelf next to the fire place. I'll meet you on the couch."
"Peachy keen, darling." Both walked in opposite directions.
A couple minutes later, they met on the couch in the living room. Gillian held out the glasses so that Cal could pour the amber liquid. After capping the bottle, he raised his glass and said, "Cheers! To Viggoson, going to a place where he belongs; in a Turkish prison!"
Gillian raised her own glass, "And to Wallowski getting a job in LA!"
Both drank a couple sips in a comfortable silence. It wasn't until his glass was almost empty when Cal said, "You know, she was my only contact through the Metro Police. I don't trust anyone else there." Gillian remained quiet, sipping her drink. "It's going to be a shame to lose her, but she has her heart set on working in LA; God only knows why."
They fell into another comfortable silence, with the only exception of Gillian humming the Beach Boys song, 'God Only Knows'.
After finishing their second glass and four back to back choruses of 'God Only Knows', Gillian was the first to speak since sitting on the couch. "I have a confession to make." She put her glass down and turned her body so that she was facing Cal.
"Really?" Cal put his glass on the table and turned his full attention back onto Gillian. Even though his body didn't show it, he hoped that she would confess her love to him. Sounds like a something from one of her bloody romance novel. He digresses.
Gillian closed her eyes and swallowed. She took a deep breath and announced, "I had many daydreams where I would give Detective Wallowski swirlies." She sighed like there was weight lifted off of her shoulders.
Cal looked at her like she had lost her damn mind. "What are you, thirteen or something?"
She threw her arms in the air. "I didn't really do it, I just thought if doing it."
"And that's you big confession? Your dirtiest secret? You wanted to give Wallowski a swirly?"
Gillian scrunched up her face, almost child-like. "That's not my biggest, dirtiest secret and I wanted to give her multiple swirlies."
Cal just rolled his eyes. Then a question that has been simmering in the back of his brain made its way to the front. He leaned back into the couch and casually crossed his legs. "So what's your biggest, dirtiest secret?"
She pointed her finger so close to his face, "That," she paused to get her point across, "is none of your business."
"Come on, Gill. I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively.
Her features softened, but her stone wall still remained strong as ever. "How will I know you are telling the truth?"
That was a good question. He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess you will just have to trust me. You do trust me, don't cha?"
She looked a little taken aback when he asked her that question. "Impeccably, Cal. It hurts that you have to ask me that question."
He closed his eyes briefly and then covered her hands with his. Gillian was surprised by his actions but she didn't shove him away. "Okay, that was a stupid question. How about I go first, eh?"
"We might need to arm ourselves." She grinned as she took her hands out of Cal's and reached for the bottle of scotch.
"NO!" His approach was a little forceful when he snatched the bottle away from her. He put it down on the floor behind him and explained, "I don't need alcohol to do this. You're my best friend; I figured I would eventually have to tell you my biggest, dirtiest secret." He reclaimed her hands and brought them to his knees. For one odd moment, they both felt comfortable holding each other's hands and being this close. "And stop trying to deflect, woman. It's driving me insane!" He wasn't being serious, except for the part where she was deflecting. She took a deep sigh, and silently gave him permission to say what he wanted to say. "Okay, so the first time I meet you, you know in your office at the Pentagon;" she nodded, "I hated you." Her brows pinched together in confusion. "My boss made me see you, and in my mind, you represented 'The Man'. I was about to lose my job, a man's family was killed and all I could do was watch from the sidelines. Deep down I knew you had nothing to do with it, but you were also caught in the middle and I had to hate someone. You were the only one visible to me at the time so you barred the brunt of my silent hate."
"Cal…" He could tell the she harbored guilt from keeping that secret from him.
He shook his head and said, "No worries, Luv. That was the first part of my confession." At this point he had to take his own uneasy deep breath. For years he had kept his secret that he was about to reveal buried deep down in his chest. Gillian saw his apprehension and gently squeezed his hand. This gave him a new confidence. "Do you remember our first case?" She silently but slowly nodded. "That night in your kitchen after celebrating was the moment I started loving you." She was stunned by his last statement, but she still kept her hands in his. "Alec was out of town on a business meeting while Zoe was preparing for a big case. It felt like we were the only ones celebrating. I was only supposed to be there for one drink, but then you asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. Without even waiting for my answer, you got up and started to make spaghetti. Right as you were boiling the water, that's when it hit me. It was small at first, like a little pin prick, so small that I didn't even recognize it. But then day by day it grew bigger and bigger to the point where Zoe called me out on it. I knew that I would have to hide it, bury it and never divulge it unless both of us were ready."
Gillian's breathing was very short. His confession was a big one, she'll give him that credit, but still. She didn't know what to say in response to his secret, but to only reveal her biggest secret. She felt her stomach tighten, almost like she was going to vomit. She tried to push away the feeling. "My biggest secret is also my biggest fear." Her stomach started to loosen a little. She figured the more she revealed, her knot would release its hold over her intestines. "For years I have loved you in my own little ways. I don't remember when I started to love you, but it took me by surprise. Just like you, it started slow but it soon started to build. Towards the end of my marriage, Alec told me that he was jealous of our relationship." Cal smirked ever-so slightly. "I figured after my divorce, I could confess my love to you but something held me back. I never knew what held me back until a couple weeks ago that morning I woke up next to you naked. You see, my heart wanted to jump into the deep end from the word go, but my mind had different plans. I think deep down I wanted to observe you in a relationship from the outside. I'm glad I did because my worst fear is not of heights or insects…" she was having a hard time breathing. The knot in her stomach clenched tightly again, almost willing her not to say anything. "…my worst fear is that you will break my heart." She exhaled loudly bringing her head down to her chest. She stood abruptly and walked over to the fireplace where she began to pace. She had to move her body or she was going to explode.
"Gillian…?" His voice was very soft.
She stopped and looked him square in the eyes. "You're a heartbreaker, Cal. You leave little bits of women's heart down your own path of lonely righteousness. Do they deserve it? Maybe some of them know what they're getting into. Do you even know that you're doing it? I'm not sure, I think in some little way you do." She resumed her pacing. "The feelings I have for you are so intense that if I let my guard down for one second I want to back myself into a dark corner and cry. All the excuses I have been giving you were true but they all boil down to this one." She came to a stop in front of her window and exclaimed, "You are not reliable. I bet you that right now you are thinking of many promises to me saying that you will never break my heart. But with you being the person you are, you get into a mode where all you think about is yourself and everyone else flies out the window; including those promises." She could tell that he was hurt by what she just said. She walked over and sat down next to him. "You know it's true, Cal. I wish with all of my heart it weren't but it is." A tear made a path from her eye to her chin.
Cal reached up and wiped it away. He didn't know what to say. Thinking back to the years he was a single man, he had his fun with a different assortment of women and with every one of them he left, leaving no room for a chance of commitment. The only one he always went back to was Gillian. That had to be something, right? He felt a little light go off in his chest as despair turned into hope once more. "I have already committed to you. You are the one I will always go to. I'm not promising I won't make a crack your lovely, lovely heart but it has always been you, Gill. All these women... these women were nothing to me, you are everything to me." He grabbed her cheek and kissed her gently on her lips. He pulled back and whispered, "It has always been you. Give me a chance. We love each other enough to talk about it tonight. Let's love each other enough to go with it." He could tell that she was a little frightened. "You know me, Luv, I'm not one to just stand on the edge of a great precipice; I'm going to jump in with my feet first. Will you make that jump with me? I know you are scared, so am I. We can do it, together!"
She was silent for a couple of minutes, thinking over his question. She was nervous and scared and oddly thrilled. But was she brave enough to make that first move into an uncharted territory?
Outwardly, Cal was cool, calm and collected; inwardly, he was a mess. Every time she looked like she was about to say something, he would hold his own breath. Then he would let go when he realized she was just breathing.
Then out of nowhere, Gillian breathlessly said, "Yes."
Cal was so elated that he jumped up from the couch and punched the air. Then he bent over and placed his hands on her shoulders. "When you say yes, you mean that you want to go through with it. You… I mean… you just said yes, right?" He felt like a stupid teenager in love.
Gillian giggled at his reaction. "Yes, I will make that jump with you." She stood up as well and the moment she did, he encased her with a hug. He swayed her around pretending that there was music coming from the stereo. She embraced his hug and laughed out loud at his boyish attitude. He broke away from the hug and crashed his lips onto hers. For fifteen solid minutes they stood in the same spot and did nothing but explore each others' mouth.
When their lips broke contact, Gillian leaned her head into the crook of his neck. She felt him smile when he said, "I have always wanted to make out with you. I feel like a brand new man." He grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and turned on the camera. Before Gillian could object, he took a picture of the both of them.
She lightly punched Cal in the gut and asked, "Why did you take a picture? God, I must look like a car wreck."
He kissed her forehead and said, "You look gorgeous. I'm sending this to Em. The only person who will be more excited by this than me will be her."
"Where is Emily, by the way?"
"At her mum's for the week. Why?" He looked down in time to see a grin float across her features. "You little minx, you want to play house."
"Well is there a reason we can't make the jump right now?"
She slid her hand into his. "Then let's continue this up stairs."
She started to pull him, but he soon took the lead. "You don't have to tell me twice."
So, if anyone wants to write a smutty companion piece to this, you are more than welcome to it! I can't write smut to save my life! LOL! :D
Again, thanks for sticking around and don't forget to leave some suga! :)