Much as I'd like to take the blame for this...interesting work. I can't, this fic was the result of a discussion in the Delphi Fanfiction Forum's IRC chat. Many were involved in shaping this idea into what it is, too many for me to remember everyone I'm supposed to credit. ^_^;;

Genma Ga Kutsushita Guujin Desu!

Part 1

Here's Ranma...and his little friend...


It was a scene you're probably familiar with if you're reading this. A time and place you've read before, or possibly even watched. A short time after the hand written scrawl that had brought tears to Soun Tendo's eyes, and moments after he finally brought his three daughters together to inform them of the engagement to one boy. Ranma Saotome, student under Genma, and heir to the Saotome School of the Anything Goes Style of Martial Arts. Quite an impressive title really.

The thing about this story that's different is...well... I'll let you see for yourself. It all starts with a noise in the hallway of the Tendo home.

"Ooh! That must be Ranma!"

"Saotome my old friend! I've been waiting!"

Soun Tendo and his daughter Nabiki simply stared at the scene in front of them dumbly. Within moments, Akane and Kasumi Tendo happened upon a rather odd sight.

A young girl appeared to be lying on the ground at their doorstep struggling with a small white object that seemed to be dragging her along the ground from just under her. They couldn't quite make out what it was and the girl took notice of them. "Hey! Yo! You're scarin em spitless!"

"Daddy...what the hell is that?" said Nabiki as she stared at it.

"I...don't know," muttered the man as he peered down at the thing dragging the girl. It had a somewhat dazed stare as it looked up at him.

The girl jumped upright and frowned at him. She had her arms behind her back, and the small creature seemed to vanish. No one was quite sure what had happened.

"You...wouldn't be...?" muttered Soun.

"Ranma Saotome, sorry about this," muttered the girl as she turned her head away in embarrassment.

"At last! You've come!" cried Soun as he grabbed her by her shoulders.

"Oooh! He is cute!" cried Nabiki.

Soun took the girl into a hug and paused, his eyes going down to behind her back for a moment. "Uhhh?" There was something on her arm...

He pulled her away and blinked. "Um..excuse me, but is that a..."

Nabiki shoved him aside and poked at the girl's breast for a moment. "He is a girl!"

"Yes, but..." stammered Soun.

The girl in question pulled her arm from behind her back revealing...a sock puppet. It was holding a sign up in its mouth. "Is something wrong Tendo?"

The girls all stared at this and Soun passed out cold.


"Oh! Poor daddy, he's so disappointed," said Kasumi as she tended to her father as he lay on the floor in the living room.

"He's disappointed?!" cried Nabiki irritably. "Some fiancee this is!" she cried as she squeezed the girl's breast in order to illustrate her point.

"Please. I wish you'd stop that," muttered the girl.

"Stop that you two! our guest!" cried Akane.

The girl said nothing, but simply held her sock puppet aloft.

"Will you put that stupid thing away?! It's giving me the creeps!" cried Nabiki as she looked at the girl for a moment.

"Huh? What thing?" muttered the girl in confusion.

Akane stood up and blinked. "Um...that thing on your arm?"

Ranma stared at her as if she had grown a second head. She lifted her left arm and inspected it, ignoring the sock puppet on her other arm. "Is there something wrong with my arm?"

"The other arm!" cried Nabiki.

"Other arm?" said the girl dumbly.

Akane, sensing the heat from the situation rising, quickly stepped in to halt the hostilities. "Um. Would you like to join me in the practice hall?"

The girl looked at her and blinked again. "Um. Okay."


Akane walked into the practice hall and blinked as she turned to find the girl gone. "Huh? Where..."

A moment later, Ranma walked into the room and looked around. "Nice place."

The other girl sighed in relief as she noticed the puppet was now gone. "Thanks. You practice Kenpo?"

"A little," said the girl nervously.

"Well, let's have a little match then!" said Akane cheerfully as she moved into a stance.


Kasumi blinked as she opened the door to the bathroom. She had halted quite suddenly actually as she walked in and found a sock hung across the edge of the furo. Half of it was submerged, and the other half appeared to be resting with a cloth sitting across its forehead. There was a small tub of toiletries just outside the tub as well. "Perhaps I'll wait until later to clean up..." she muttered uncomfortably as she edged back out of the bathroom and into the home.


Ranma and Akane were laughing with each other.

"Wow! You're pretty good!" said Akane cheerfully. "I'm just glad you're a girl."

Ranma froze. "Huh?"

"It's just that...I'd really hate to lose to a boy!" The girl turned and smiled at the newcomer.

Ranma said nothing and watched her leave.


A short time later, Soun Tendo sat with his head cocked sideways as he stared at it. The sock was resting on a pillow opposite him. He didn't say anything to it, but simply stared. He wasn't quite sure what to make of it at all.

So, he simply sat and stared, contemplating the situation.


"Kasumi. Why is Daddy sitting with that creepy sock?" Nabiki stuck her head into the kitchen where her sister was preparing a meal.

""Got me," was the simple reply. "It is rather disturbing though."


"Ranma!" said Kasumi sweetly as she found the girl. "Come on Ranma! Wouldn't you like a bath?"

The redhead blinked as she found a towel shoved into her chest. She accepted it, not that she could have refused. "Huh? No! I's okay."

"No it's not! You must be all sweaty from your workout!" said Kasumi as she ushered the girl towards the bathroom.


"AAAAAHHHHHHH! I'll kill him! I'll drown him in the bathtub!"

Nabiki Tendo poked her head around the corner to find her sister holding half of a cement lawn ornament in her arms. "Akane? What is it? What's that for?"

"There's a pervert in the bathroom!"

"Why didn't you just kill him with your bare hands?" asked Nabiki.

"Because I'm afraid!" snapped Akane.

"That's odd. Ranma was just in the bath just now," muttered Kasumi with a little worry in her voice.

A young boy appeared in the hall with a blush on his face.

"Who are you?" asked Nabiki.

"Um...I'm Ranma Saotome...sorry about this..." muttered the boy sheepishly.


"I'm not quite sure if I understand myself...this is..."

The sock puppet on Ranma's hand moved its mouth as it spoke. Ranma's lips never moved. "Genma Saotome, and this is my son..."

"Ranma," said the boy quietly.

Everyone stared at him. Even Akane's angry glare faltered for a moment.

"What?" said Nabiki as her eyelids drooped slightly.

"Oh my!" cried Kasumi.

"What's this all about?" asked Nabiki as she stared at the boy.

"Are you really her? That same girl?" asked Kasumi.

Her family turned to look at her for a moment and she glanced around at them.


"Um, yes..." said Ranma quietly.

"Hmmm. Where should I begin?" said the sock. "I know! I'll start with this!"

Ranma picked himself up with his sock hand and tossed himself into the air.

"What the?" muttered Akane in shock.

The boy landed in the Koi pond, with the sock sticking up out of the water on the boy's only dry arm. After a moment, a female Ranma emerged from the water. "What the hell are you doing?!"

Nabiki was impressed.

"Now he's a girl?" stammered Kasumi.

"This is getting weirder and weirder." Akane looked to be in somewhat of a shocked state.

"Ooooh! My own son! How humiliating!" lamented the sock.

Ranma actually kicked herself into the arm and dipped down to wet the sock. After she pulled her arm out, she paused for a moment and removed the wet sock, only to replace it with another sock with black marks on it that appeared to have been made by a magic marker.

"Who are you to talk!? My old man's a panda!" cried Ranma.

"Daddy? Why are you friends Him?" Kasumi looked like she wasn't quite sure how to phrase her question.

The man turned to stare at her. "I...Saotome?" he stared at the sock dumbly. "What could have happened? I don't understand."


Ranma and his sock emerged from the bathroom slightly damp, but oddly enough, they both looked refreshed. No one was quite sure why the sock was refreshed, but it was.

As the boy sat down, the sock started to speak again. "Ah yes. It was two fateful weeks ago..."


Mt. Quanjing, Bayankala range, Quinghai Province, China...

"Here sir. Is legendary Training Ground of Cursed Spring,. Jusenkyo."

"Are you prepared boy?" asked Ranma's sock puppet.

"This place isn't so impressive," snorted the boy.

"Yes..." agreed the Guide as he tried his best not to look at the scene. "Maybe you not go any closer. Mr. Customer is strange enough now. No?"

"Ranma! Follow me!" cried the sock as the boy leapt into action and jumped over the springs.

"Ah! Sir...never mind," said the Guide as he promptly sat down to smoke his pipe. He sighed and pulled out a book entitled "Planning for Early Retirement" and started to read as the strangest display he'd ever witnessed took place in front of him. The boy was fighting with a sock puppet, and actually seemed to be having trouble against it. He glanced up over his shoulder and called out halfheartedly. "Please sir! Very bad you fall in spring!" The teen ignored him and he sighed as he flipped another page. "Jusenkyo too too strange these day."

The boy promptly kicked his own arm into the ground. He landed on a small patch of dirt between the springs, while his sock got slightly wet from one of the nearby spring.

The boy stared at it for a moment and blinked. "Huh?"

The guide sighed and rolled his eyes. "To hell with, might play along all right?" he muttered out loud. He then began to act very badly. "Oh no! Poor sir fall in Spring of Drowned Panda! Whoever fall in spring, take body of panda!"

"Yeow! What?!" cried Ranma as he jumped back onto the poles.

The guide sighed and continued to watch as the boy now appeared to actually be losing against the puppet. After a few moments, the sock basically head butt the boy in his chest and sent him into one of the springs. "Oh, too bad. You fall in Spring of Drowned Girl." As soon as the girl emerged he started his monologue about the curse of the spring.


The wind chime blew in the wind as the Tendo household stared at the boy dumbly. Naturally, the sock's story was a tale quite different from the one you now know. Involving something along the lines of a desperate battle with his son, not realizing that he'd turned into a panda and catching the boy off guard by the transformation.

"I was kinda hoping for a Spring of Drowned Sock Puppet," commented Nabiki as she glanced at her father. "Are you sure this is your old friend?"

Soun shook his head from side to side slowly. "Where is Genma?"

"I'm right here Tendo," said the sock calmly.

"Saotome!? happened to you? You look...different," he managed.

The sock appeared to actually shrug. "I lost weight."

Soun slowly nodded at this. "Yes. I can see that."

"Hey. What's the idea of draggin me to a place like that anyway?" muttered Ranma as he grabbed the sock and made it face him.

The sock gave a mighty cry and tossed it's...son...into the Koi once again, and once again managed to stay dry. After Ranma emerged it started speaking again. "You sound like a woman! Were you not prepared to give your life for the sake of your training?"

Ranma growled. "My life yes..." She hefted a bucket of water at her own hand. "My manhood is another story!" She paused long enough to switch socks and started to fight with her own arm again.

"Daddy. Make them go away!" cried Nabiki fearfully.

Soun hung his head. "I...cannot. It is a matter of honor! This seems to be my old friend Genma's son, and even if he is a little odd, he is honor bound to one of you." He stood up and poured a kettle of hot water over the sock. Oddly enough the girl didn't change back. She did take the time to switch the socks on her arm though.

"So, when doused with hot water you return to..."



"... normal."

"It needn't be quite that hot Tendo," gasped the sock puppet.

"When doused with cold water, you become a girl, but hot water turns you back into a boy!" cried the man as he tried to douse Ranma with the kettle.

"Hot water! Not boiling!"

"You're problem isn't so terrible after all! My daughter Kasumi, nineteen, and Nabiki, seventeen, and Akane, sixteen! Pick the one you want, and she'll be your new fiancee!"

Kasumi and Nabiki quickly reacted to this.

"Oh! He want's Akane!"


"What? Why would I..." stammered the girl.

"Well, you don't like boy's right?" asked Nabiki cheerfully.

"You're in luck! He's half girl!" exclaimed Kasumi cheerfully.

"He's out of his fucking mind!" cried Akane.

"Huh?" said the redhead dumbly. "What ya mean?" She looked irritated by the comment.

Akane backed away from her. "You talk to socks! Plus, you're a pervert!"

Ranma jumped right to the second insult. "What do you mean 'pervert'?"

"You looked at my body! Who knows what you were doing to that sock in the bathroom before I walked in!"

"I didn't have a sock in the bathroom! What the hell are you on about?" said Ranma as she stared at her.

"Well, I'm glad to see you've started a healthy relationship already!" said Soun cheerfully.

"Quite so Tendo! They're the perfect couple already!" said the sock.

Soun looked slightly disturbed by this and laughed along with the puppet nervously.

:"Hey!" cried Ranma as she stared at her sock.

"He's a couple by himself! In more than one way!" cried Akane. She returned her attention to the redhead once again. "And if you ever..."

"Goodbye!" snapped Ranma as she started towards the door. She halted when her puppet started talking again. "Where are you going boy?"

"Back to China! To find a way to change back for good! This is no time for fiancee's!"

"I think that's a good idea actually," said Nabiki.

"Oh my! Yes, it would be much easier if he didn't have...that problem," agreed Kasumi.

Soun looked like he wasn't sure if he should be relieved or not.

Of course, this is when the redhead decided to open her mouth again. "By the way..."


Ranma woke up with a headache and glanced around the room.

"Oh! She's awake!" exclaimed Kasumi cheerfully. "Are you okay? Don't think too badly of Akane. She's really a very sweet girl, she's just a violent maniac."

"Yeah, we could have been rid of you by now if not for her stupid temper," muttered Nabiki quietly to herself.


Akane was seething in the bathroom, muttering to herself about the girl's comment. The memory flashed into her mind again. "And I'm better built to boot? The nerve of her! She's got no room to talk about being weird anyway! That psycho!"

Ranma was on his way to meet her destiny once again. She strolled down the stairs rubbing at the back of her head. "Yeeeouch! What kind of girl is she anyway?" She continued as she undressed in the small dressing room just outside the furo. "Friends she says. So much for friends when she finds out I'm a boy..."

The door opened, and Ranma found himself staring at her once again.


The sock puppet once again on the boy's arm, he looked out at the night sky with an irritated expression on his face.

"So she's got spunk. That just makes a fiacee cuter." The sock actually looked somewhat smug saying this.

"Cute is not the word," muttered Ranma.

Nabiki was glaring at Akane. "That's twice your temper has forced us to keep him around. Just let him walk out the door for once will ya?"

"Sorry," grumbled Akane as she hung her head. "I couldn't just let him get away with it ya know? Even if he is a crazy weirdo, that's not an excuse..."

"Oh my," muttered Kasumi as she walked into the scene. Not sure of what else to say as Ranma and his sock watched her pass by, she simply wandered into the kitchen and started to clean.



Depends on how well the next brainstorming session in chat goes. ^_^