Penny felt like crying. Here it was New Years, or at least it was the morning after, and the night had been one of her worst ever.
Her first mistake had been answering the phone when the dummy phoned. Apparently he wanted Sheldon's phone number so he could find out why the smart chick has decided not to have coitus with him after all. The word 'coitus' had proved beyond a doubt that it really had been Sheldon he'd been talking to. On the spur of the moment, she'd invited him out for New Years, promising to take him over to Sheldon's so they could speak.
Mistake number two was saying she'd go to the comic book store. Just the New Year's you want, in a small crowded room, with no less than THREE ex-boyfriends. Ok, She'd only seen Stuart a few times, but it was just as awkward.
Mistake number three was the suit. Or lack of it. It fit like second skin, and the wig blanched her out something horrible, she'd only agreed to wear it because sometime while Leonard had been rambling she'd decided that it would be interesting to see how Sheldon reacted to her in the full costume. He might have basically called her fat, but Penny wasn't a stupid girl, she knew what her scale said, and it said she was right on the low end of what a girl her height should weigh, and she'd never let any 6 foot skinny model bitch make her feel bad about that, and she wasn't going to.
The party hadn't been so bad, until they won. The clock chimed, there was cheers, and Superman AKA the dummy, swept in for a kiss, oblivious to the fact that was Wonder Woman, not Lois Lane. She was trying to watch Sheldon's acceptance speech to see if she got thanked for being the reason they won, which it was obvious it was, she WAS the only real female there, and Leonard had looked almost as miserable as Raj, and Sheldon had been drowned out...
The whole thing sucked.
You break up with one guy because you figure out that you like his roommate better, then you think you've lost him to a female almost as smart as him, and then you find out that you didn't, and Superman gets in the way, and it all goes to hell.
So she'd left them all in the hallway.
Threw the wig across the room. Wonder Woman may have been a super hero, a Queen, and empowered, but she didn't get the guy, did she?
Some people thought Wonder Woman should have been with Superman.
Some people thought he was perfect with Lois Lane.
Ever since Penny had watched The Justice League of America, (the one with that Angel guy voicing Green Lantern) and she had seen the scene where Wonder Woman rescued the Flash from the ocean, and the last one, the newspaper photo of them all celebrating, Wonder Woman holding Flash into the air, well, let's just say Iris West be damned.
Penny loved that movie.
She loved Flash's style, his brains... Sheldon's flash suit was a little over padded, it would have looked better if it was skin tight, like his shirts, but she'd not worked up the guts to suggest it yet.
Speaking of skin tight, she sighed, realizing the zipper on her suit was stuck.
She was in the process of searching for her scissors when there was a timid knocking at the door, her name being whispered in between each set of three.
"Sheldon?" She called. "If you are alone, come in. Otherwise, just go away." She was in no mood to continue the party, and wouldn't put it past any of the other guys to try to get one last glimpse of her in her suit.
The door opened, and he came in, shutting the door behind him.
She looked up at him from where she was searching through the piles of stuff on her table. They had to be there somewhere, she'd been cutting something just yesterday...
He frowned at her. "What are you looking for?"
"My scissors. The zips stuck, I'm going to have to cut myself out." she smiled wryly. "I bet the real Wonder Woman never had to do that."
He was still wearing his Flash suit, though he'd removed the hood. "If you kept to the organizational plan I created for you, you wouldn't have to look for them." He chided her.
She rolled her eyes and turned to look at him, her hands on her hips. "Why are you here Sheldon?"
"I didn't wish you a Happy New Year." He blinked.
She sighed. "Now you have. So either help me find my scissors or get out."
He twitched. "It's dangerous to cut clothes off while you are wearing them."
Penny bit her lip and sat down, leaning so her head rested on her knees, her eyes squeezed shut. She was either going to burst into tears of frustration, or burst into tears because this was already one of the worst years ever, and she didn't want to do either, it would only freak him out.
Unexpectedly, she felt his hand on her back, feather light, and moving. It was on her zipper, trying to figure out the problem. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she thought of how much she'd like to kiss him, touch him, and here he could barely touch her. He'd never been comfortable with touching her.
Another tear rolled before she blinked rapidly and made herself stop. She was Penny, she didn't cry over stuff she couldn't change.
At least not much.
He fumbled a bit and muttered something, and from the corner of her eye she could see him dropping to his knees so he could look closer.
"What on earth had happened to this zipper?" He asked finally.
"Maybe you're right, and I'm too fat." She said sourly, keeping her face hidden.
"I never said you were fat." He sounded shocked, still trying to figure out the mess that was the zip.
"Then what do YOU think you said?" She muttered.
He paused, his whole body froze, and she imagined his eye twitching like crazy the way it did sometimes. "I meant to imply that you filled out the uniform rather well." He said stiffly. "Perhaps I should have just used one of Howards phrases and informed you that you have all the right curves in all the right places."
"Oh." She whispered.
He resumed tugging on the zipper. "It's no use Penny, it's stuck."
She sat up, wiping her eyes quickly. "It's ok Sheldon, I'll just cut it off."
He had leaned back on his legs, and even though she was seated on a chair, he was still eye level with her. His eyes had caught her movement, and he looked puzzled. "Why are you crying?"
"I wasn't." Penny lied, standing up and going into the kitchen for a knife, scissors be damned.
When she turned around, he was right behind her.
She stared at the lighting bolt on his chest. "How would the Flash get Wonder Woman out of her suit if it had gotten stuck on and she needed his help and Iris West didn't exist?"
His eyebrow went up, and he took the knife from her hand, putting it in the sink beside them. "I imagine he'd use super speed to vibrate her right out of it."
Penny's lips twitched. "I tried to shimmy out of it already, didn't work."
"It's just a cheap costume Penny, I'm sure the seems arn't that strong." He mused.
"What do you mean?" She stared up at him.
He tilted his head and looked at her appraisingly. "In a world where Iris West did not exist, would Flash have a chance with Wonder Woman?"
Penny licked her lips. "I think so."
"Hmm." He narrowed his eyes. "She wouldn't prefer Superman?"
Penny shook her head.
He stepped closer. "In that case, raise your arms please."
Her eyes wide, she put her arms straight above her head, and managed not to gasp when she found her chest pressed to his, and his fingers curling under the top of her suit at the back. "What are you doing?" She whispered.
"I can't use super speed, so I'm going to use Physics." He replied.
Suddenly he tensed his arms and pulled down and away, and there was a tearing noise, and her mouth dropped open.
She crossed her arms over her suddenly bare chest and stared up at him. "You tore my suit off."
He looked extremely please with himself. "It worked!"
She couldn't help herself. She reached up and grabbed the back of his neck and hauled him down for a scorching kiss. "Happy New Year Sheldon."
Somehow his hands found her hips and he kissed her back.
It was a joke between them for years after. The torn suit ended up in his closet, which became their closet.
The Night That Flash Tore Wonder Woman's Suit Off.