Okay, hi! This is a new story, and I may or may not continue it. It really depends on how people respond. I just went back to reading Percy Jackson and imagined this up. I really wanted to describe Aphrodite too, so it's a two bird one stone situation. It's not very edited, and don't mind my language fails. I'm an American, what do you expect?


Sometimes life throws something at you. Sometimes it's a treat, and sometimes it's a brick aimed at your face. As a man who hasn't had one of these metaphorical treats thrown at me for a while, I was kind of used to it. People aren't nice, and I've accepted this fact.

But being pushed off of a cliff by the supposed goddess of love is probably one of the weirdest and most painful bricks I've gotten in quite some time. Especially since she claimed she was helping me realize potential.

Okay, perhaps I should go back a bit.

Feliciano had invited the potato bastard over to our house, so I had no choice but to visit Spain. I don't want to be near the two when they act all cuddly. If there is one thing that I can go my entire life without seeing, it's that. So to Spain's house I go.

The day was remarkably warm, and feeling the sun on my skin was refreshing. The smell of tomatoes wafted from his house, and it almost made me feel nostalgic. I suppose I've been cooped up too long after all.

I knocked on the door quickly, feeling my face warm at the prospects of seeing Spain. Not that I'm eager. And I didn't miss him. So anyone who's thinking that, just shut up and let me continue my story. Bastards.

He opened the door almost immediately, and looked at me for a brief second with surprise. The sunny expression on his face grew as he exclaimed, "Romano! Tanto tiempo sin verte!"

"Shut up and let me in." I said briskly. Hopefully that'll keep him from giving me a greeting hug.

And, it didn't. He wrapped his arms around me, cooing about how much he missed me in the two weeks since I was here last. Stupid codependent Spain and his smell of tomatoes in the summertime. Dammit, stop thinking like that!

"L-Let go, bastard!" I shouted, struggling to push him away.

Reluctantly, he did. He wouldn't stop smiling stupidly, though, and that was probably worse. "I missed you, Lovi."

I frown, but I'm blushing from his sincerity. "Yeah, well I've been busy."

Busy doing what? Playing video games and waiting for my plants to grow? He knows you've been doing absolutely nothing.

He nodded knowingly, but was still smiling. Someday I plan on smacking that stupid grin off of his face. "Right. Busy work as always for my Lovi."

"Shut up, bastard!" I said, storming into his house and plopping myself on his couch. It's one of the most comfortable couches I've known, so it's always my first stop when I visit his house.

Spain laughed and jumped onto the couch beside me. He literally hopped onto the couch, making it thud and move a few inches back. With a casual grin, he put his arm around me. As if I wasn't going to punch him.
So I punched him, gently, in the side. He laughed again and said, "Ow."

"Get off of me, you bastard!"

He removed his arm, not losing his stupid-ass grin. "You're—"

Before he could finish this statement, probably with something along the lines of 'cute', someone knocked on his door. Frantically.

The stupid smile fell away and he got up to answer the door. I leaned over to see who it was. Of course, it was the wine freak. But he looked pale and frightened, so I was curiously pleased.

"What's wrong, mi amigo?" Spain was sounding panicked too.

"Someone was in my house! And-and-and—" Now the wine freak was crying. I don't think he knows I'm here, so I remain quiet. It wouldn't be helpful to laugh at him for being a baby.

Spain was using his gentle and calming voice, "Okay, I'll help you. Let's go to your house and see what happened."

"But-but-but I don't want to go and see it!" He's sobbing like a child who scraped his knee. Wimp.

He looked over at me, apologizing for leaving so soon through a pitiful expression. I shrug, acting like I don't care, and he turned back to France.

"Antonio, please don't make me go. I don't want to!" He cried onto his shirt.

Okay, I wasn't envious when I watched the Spain hold the stupid frog and comfort him. It's just not appropriate to be so physical. Yeah, it's inappropriate.

He stroked France's hair and said sweetly, "It's okay, it's okay. It'll be better to see it with a friend there. I'll help you."

The wine freak sniffled and looked at him in relief. "O-okay. Okay then."

I crossed my arms and scowled as they walked out of the room. Stupid Spain and his whiny friends. Abandoning me to help the crying asshole.

Dammit, I need some air.

He just left. It doesn't matter that I'm here, his friends must always come first! His stupid idiot friends! The fucking bastard!

I stormed out the back door, into his tomato field. It wasn't enough to stomp out there, I needed get out my frustration more. So I kept stomping down the rows of tomatoes, out the gate, and finally found myself on the cliff overlooking his house.

It's funny. I've been to his house millions of times and never have I bothered to come up here. The view is nice. Nice enough to make me relax a little.

I sat on the grass and tried to stare down his house. My glaring weakens slowly as I start to enjoy the warm day and nice hideout. I wonder if Spain's been up here, either.

My eyes start to feel heavy. I prop myself back on my elbows and close my eyes. The wind is rustling in the trees, and the birds are softly chirping. It's a beautiful day, a beautiful and quiet day.

"Romano, Romano, Romano!" I jumped up at the sound of some furious woman. The voice, though angry, was like beautiful music.

I turned to see a lovely woman, too lovely to describe. Oh fuck it, I'll try. Her hair was light blond that was in perfect ringlets. Her outfit was impressively made for her, gathering at the most voluptuous parts of her body. She looked pissed.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked, standing up.

She planted her hands on her hips. "Right now I'm your interventionist."

I scowl at her. "Seriously, who are you?"

"I'm Aphrodite, your mother."

…the fuck? Neither of that could be true. Well, she could be the goddess of beauty, but not my mother.

"I'm not kidding. Tell me who you are or I'm leaving."

"Nor am I. Why do you think that your full name has 'love' and 'romance' implied?"

Romano. Lovino. Son of a bitch.

She stepped forward, her soft blue eyes turning cold. "I've been trying and trying to win this bet, but you keep being obnoxious about it. Now Athena is winning because of that stupid potato and I'm still stuck with you being a miserable bastard."

Damn, I'm seeing a resemblance.

"I'm not a miserable bastard. And what the hell are you betting?"

Aphrodite glared at me. "Athena and I got into a bet that we could each raise a son that would become like us. For her, that means her son becoming an impressive war man and for me that would take you falling in love with your soulmate."

I blinked slowly. "Soulmate?"

"Yes, exactly. So we left you both when you were young, and kind of helped from the distance. But she got too close by sending him more help than necessary and so now I'm intervening."

Why are they betting on me? "Who's the other person you two are betting on?"

"Your twin, Feliciano."

"So… he isn't my twin?" I say slowly.

"He is. He's just the son of Athena, too."

I frown thoughtfully. Then it hit me. "She gave him the potato bastard, didn't she? Ugh, the bitch!"

She grinned at my fury. "Exactly. I tried to help you, too, but it didn't work." The goddess turned angry again. "Gods, I even gave you and him the shared love of tomatoes. And those are the best aphrodisiacs around!"


"I even put you under his care for most of your childhood! How the hell can you be so oblivious? It's just—"

"My soulmate is Spain?" I screamed at her.

She doesn't seem to notice me. "It's impossible! How goddamn hard is it to fall in love with the man you've been set out to be with?"

"Because he's an ignorant ass!" I'm meant to be with Spain?

"But you two are such a perfect couple. I just don't know why you don't just stop being such a prude."

I tense up and shout "I'm not a—"

"But I'm going to change this. I'm sick of you being so guarded. So I will make you give up all your games."

"What's that supposed to—"

Before I could finish, I saw that I've reached the edge of the cliff. I looked at my mother. Who's not really acting like a mother.

She reached out and pushed my chest.

And I plummeted to the ground.


Tanto tiempo sin verte! - Long time no see!

Mi amigo - My friend