An Aquatransexual's Best Friend

~Noy Telinú~

Warning: the following is fan fiction; Noy doesn't own anything that appears in this fan fiction.

As such, it is non-cannon and Noy makes no money off of it; so it can't be taken too seriously.

By reading this story, you accept that it is therefore fan fiction. The characters aren't 100% accurate by definition. So don't trust them completely… like Wikipedia.

Noy is not responsible for your confusion. It's your fault… deal with it.

Caution: Ranma ½ was made by Rumiko Takahashi and its anime is licensed by Viz media in North America. Support the official canon release… It's really good… trust me… I'm text…

You have been warned…


The all important Prologue…

Skip if you hate them, nothing happens here. [Lie!]

In everyone's lives, there are 'what if' moments, tons of 'what if' moments; if you didn't eat that apple (or pomegranate), if you chose to stay at home on Christmas, if you chose to listen to your elders for once. Many times you do stuff without thinking, or wait too long to do what's important. These instances make you regret life and wanting a second chance to get it right. Alas, you can't go back in time (yet). However, there are other universes where you chose to listen to your advisors, or were competent enough to not cheat in an election. For some reason, many of these universes cannot be visited by people from the known universe (scientists…come on!) making this a dream of reality. In one of these vast universes of the infinity+ multiverse, is one whose life took a different turn. One small mess-up and a bit of tweaking made this universe branch out from whence it came…

A long time ago, well, it could be not that long ago too…it's all perspective really… there was a young 6 year old boy named Ranma. He traveled with his father, his only family for the last 4 years, throughout Japan to be trained to become the best martial artist in his generation, if not ever. His father, one named Genma, decided to follow a traveling Okonomiyaki vender/ martial artist, and for the last 3 months, he has been stealing… err…winning Okonomiyaki from the salesman while his son played with the vendor's daughter Ukyo.

Ukyo and Ranma became the best-est of friends over that time usually consisting of Ranma fighting with Ukyo and the winner gets Okonomiyaki… needless to say, Ranma won…every time. Yet this didn't deter their friendship, it in fact strengthened it somehow. With Ranma's extensive (and sometime brutal) training over the last 4 years, it was easy to defeat Ukyo in their game every day.

Now one might wonder why Genma, a fierce martial artist who is trying to make Ranma the best martial artist ever, is taking a break for 3 months with an Okonomiyaki salesman and his daughter. Truth be told, Genma's biggest weakness, is his stomach. Always hungry and always selfish, it was a perfect way to get free food. Yet, there is one thing that people always underestimate in Genma,-his brain. He knew that he couldn't stay much longer, or the boy might get attached to Ukyo too much (and that according to Genma that is bad… female presence is always bad for Genma), that and if he stayed much longer, he is going to have to pay for all that Okonomiyaki. Yeah, Genma was going to leave soon, 3 months is enough rest anyway to recover from NekoKen right? Being wrapped in fish and thrown into a pit for a month can only do so much damage right? Too much time if you ask Genma, especially since Ranma and Ukyo were with each other almost all the time. Genma decided now was the time to leave, a martial artist's life is fraught with peril, after all. However, while watching the children, Kuonji (Ukyo's father… well… their family name, Genma didn't learn his first name) said something to Genma.

"Ukyo seems to get along fine with Ranma, we are both traveling people, and maybe my daughter can marry your son?"

"Take your Ukyo for my Ranma's bride eh? I hate to tell you this but boy's already got himself a fiancée." Genma replied.

"Now that's a darn shame, I tell you, cause here's me offering my Okonomiyaki cart as a dowry too."

"SOLD! ...err I mean I accept" was Genma's immediate answer.

A few minutes later, the reality sank in… he was going to have another mouth to feed… and how would he break this to Tendo? Maybe he could just steal the cart? Yeah, that will work…but, still, there was one thing that had to be done first, to make it so that it will all fall on Ranma, it's his decision anyway. An hour later on a patch of grass, Genma sat down with young Ranma, and asked him a simple question.

"Son? This is a very important question, so think carefully, ok?"


"What do you like best? Ukyo or Okonomiyaki?"


Ranma was going to answer, and in another universe he did, not thinking or taking enough time that would cause more pain to his life, but this time something else happened that caused so many changes that it changed Ranma's future… FOREVER! FOREVER! FOUR-EV-ER! 4EVER! (Couldn't resist)

Ranma, instead of answering the ever important question, choked on Okonomiyaki instead. After coughing for a while and a bit of gagging, followed by a bit of spitting out and a bit of shivering; things returned to normal after a few minutes, and Ranma finished eating without thinking of the question. Genma was going to ask again when he realized Ranma forgot and wasn't going to answer.

"Ranma, you need to answer this, what do you like best, Ukyo-" Genma was cut off by Ranma leaving and playing with Ukyo, who in the time not answering, came up to see where Ranma went.

Genma sighed and decided he would have to do it by force tomorrow, since he couldn't think of a way to separate them without physically hurting the girl (they are weak after all) or having Ranma take the blame later if they were to ever meet again. The next morning before dawn, Genma sneaked his way to the cart with Ranma close behind. He looked around and saw neither of the owners. Genma was right about to run off with the cart when he saw something down the street.

Down said street, there was a person, a person with a sword, not just any sword, a sword that was all squiggly looking, a sword that only one certain type that people used. Genma knew who they were and hated that they came this way, if anything from his past told him, it was to run NOW! There was another person there, who was fighting with the mysterious person, it was Kuonji. It was then that Genma realized Ukyo was standing about 100 feet from where they were fighting, Kuonji, with a giant spatula, and the mysterious man, with that weird sword. Quickly Genma snatched up Ukyo and brought her to the cart. Ukyo, who didn't know what was going on, was just staring at the fight that her father was in with the mysterious stranger. Ranma, who didn't understand anything either, jumped off the cart and stood by young Ukyo.

"Ucchan, why is your dad fighting?" asked a young Ranma.

"I…I don't know, Ran-chan. He came just a moment ago and asked something about Saotome or something"

Upon hearing this, Genma panicked and was going over his options. One was to help defeat this guy, but then he'd have to not take the cart, or take Ukyo. Another was that it wasn't worth it and just to leave, now. The third option was to grab Ranma and the cart and hope he doesn't ask questions. There was a fourth to just accept marrying Ukyo to Ranma, but that just adds a whole lot of other problems.

During this time, the mysterious stranger (who probably wanted Genma) was fighting a quickly tiring Kuonji without breaking a sweat. Blade met spatula again and again until a quick strike made the spatula fly out of Kuonji's hands and it impaled itself into the cart. At that moment, fear crept up everyone's backs on what was going to happen next.

Right before the spatula hit, Genma finally decided to go help Kuonji; it's a martial artist's duty after all. That's when wheezing through the air, the giant spatula struck and got stuck right on the cart next to Genma. To make matters worse, 2 more people who looked like the mysterious sword guy came up behind the first one.

The sword rose up, looked as if to be put away, to put all the troubles away, when he turned and saw Genma. The mysterious stranger, with hate flowing in his eyes and the promise of revenge, he mouthed a few words. Then he shocked everyone and drove his sword right into the gut of Kuonji cutting through his stomach. With the twist of the sword it went out his back, squirting blood everywhere which drenching the twisted sword, effectively killing the vendor on the spot. An inhuman scream of pain came out of the dying lungs of Kuonji only stopped by the blood pouring into his mouth.

"Nooooooo!!" screamed an extremely frightened Ukyo. She tried to run to her fallen father but was held back by Ranma.

Acting mostly on instinct, Genma ran, pulling the cart with Ranma and Ukyo in it as fast as he could, for as long as he could. During this, a very teary and emotional Ukyo was crying into Ranma's shirt as he held her, not saying anything but holding her as tightly as he could.

"No, nooo. NO! nnnooo. No no no. please NO!" cried a sobbing Ukyo

"U..Ucchan?" Ranma stammered "I won't let anything happen to you. I… I promise."

Ukyo's only response was to cry in Ranma's shirt and mumble a few words, some of which Ranma has never heard. And with that, the three were off into the sunrise, with Genma not daring to slow down, while breaking a few speed records by a Japanese man pulling a cart. What had he gotten himself into?

Over the next 10 years Ranma and Ukyo traveled with Genma, both training in martial arts. (Although Genma did so reluctantly when Ranma asked why causing some fights and words being thrown around.) Ranma fought for Ukyo not to be abused by his father and helped make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Ukyo in return, made sure Ranma ate at least every day, even if she had to make it from the Okonomiyaki cart (yes they kept it) and Ukyo got really good at it (eventually). When cats came to scare Ranma, Ukyo chased them away.

Ranma found out Ukyo was a girl after a month of travelling when arguing why Ukyo should join in on the martial arts training. That's when things got a bit ugly. During that time, Ranma accidentally said something about the secret sauce Ukyo made tasting bad because he opened it after she left it alone. A bit of smacking in the head with a giant spatula that she could barely hold, convinced Ranma that some girls aren't weak.

Ranma ended up changing his mind set on girls from Genma's "they are weak" to now "well, Ucchan's a girl, she's not weak." Their friendship grew and eventually Ranma didn't care that his best friend was a girl. Ukyo decided to pick up her father's martial arts style and become the best Okonomiyaki chef type martial artist ever, while also learning from Genma.

Ukyo, (who already had a crush on Ranma before her father's death), grew to love him more and more, eventually making her ask the question of marriage to Ranma, who properly was confused, then freaked out. Ukyo grudgingly accepted that Ranma wouldn't ever love her that way, but not until a few years later. Ranma and Ukyo ended up like brother and sister, well, brother and tomboy sister that is really good in martial arts. (Although not as good as Ranma, but still) They even went to school together at an all-boy's school because Genma was, as usual; cheap enough to send them to the same school instead of 2 separate ones or a mixed school. Ukyo was able to pull it off as Ranma's brother, and used the last name Saotome (might as well), which was a constellation prize for Ukyo. They got along better than most siblings, and watched each other's backs. Ranma even vowed to help Ukyo find the man who killed her biological father, and Ukyo promised to find a way to cure Ranma's cat problem.

Ukyo sold Okonomiyaki during their travels and it was Ranma's main food source. Even though Genma took her money made by selling Okonomiyaki to "pay for Ranma and Ukyo's education and whatnot" Ukyo managed to keep some hidden and steal back some money from Genma. Ukyo and Ranma became great martial artists that no one in school wanted to mess with (except that one guy, but that's for later). Ukyo's spatula (which was her father's) skills were so good, that no one dared to tell her to take it off her back at school. Ranma shared all his secrets with Ukyo, and Ukyo did likewise. Because of Ukyo, Ranma was able to show his feelings more (not much more, but still).

Eventually, 9 years, and 3 months after they met each other, the Saotomes left Japan behind, selling the Okonomiyaki cart (buying a portable stove instead) and went off to China by swimming there, unknowingly about to mess up their lives more than they could have imagined.

Author's notes: Here is the begging of my first fanfic. As noted above, the prologue is before the story, so it's not the start of it and you could skip it if you like, although you would be confused in the first chapter. I welcome reviews of all kinds; don't be afraid to insult me either, because I will make you eat your words (they taste good with ketchup). However be smart, and say why it was bad if you think it was. Because If I'm to get better, I need you to say why it was bad or you end up looking stupid. Chapter 1 is already up. Good reviews are appreciated too. Even if everyone hates it, I will still finish it. I won't be one of those people who start but never finish fanfics, those people make me sick. I might tease you though.