A/N: Happy New Year's! I'll get right to the point.

Warnings: Swearing, human names used, violence, police kink (well techinically...), AU, slight bondage, dub-con (borderline rape?), badly written smut, and OOCness (here's a hint: someone's not as dumb as he looks). Also, I'm not majoring in criminal justice so some of the police stuff may be inaccurate.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia nor do I intend to insult the law in any way through this fic.

Today was going to be a good day.

Officer Arthur Kirkland could just feel it as he strode down the hall of the police department building in his polished black shoes, receiving salutes and praise from the other officers he passed by.

The notorious criminal, only known by the name of Alfred F. Jones, has finally been captured for illegally selling thousands of copies of a popular video game. It took him a while, but Arthur was able to put the name to a face and have him arrested at last. Of course, he wasn't the one who broke into the criminal's home and dragged him out into the car; such jobs were for the lower officers. But Arthur was there to see him handcuffed without a fight and transported to the police station to be interrogated. Which is why he was here – to get a confession out of the git – something the Englishman prided himself in.

"Congratulations Mr. Kirkland," Kiku Honda, Arthur's assistant said as the two walked down the hall towards the interrogation room. "Your suspicion was right on the mark."

"I will admit, I had my doubt in the beginning…but now I'm positive he is the one," the blond admitted.

As the two entered the room just outside of the interrogation room, Ludwig saluted the both of them promptly. "Sir, I've prepared everything for you. We may start whenever you're ready."

Both officer and assistant looked toward the tinted window to spy a blond dressed in black and white striped prisoner attire, his head on the table and apparently asleep.

Arthur then turned his attention to his task force. The case took its toll on them, evident from their jaded and creased faces. Even Ludwig, the most dutiful officer, had his shoulders slump slightly from his normally straight posture. Everyone did things slower, and although they wouldn't tell it directly to him, Arthur knew they needed a break. "You may all leave now," the blond addressed loudly enough so that all could hear.

"But Mr. Kirkland-"

"I can tell you are all very tired and I can't have only half-efficient officers working for me. So go on, you have the rest of the day off,"

"Sir…are you sure? We'll be leaving you alone with a criminal…" although the German tried to conceal his joy of getting some rest, he was genuinely concerned for his fellow police officer.

"Do you really think he's dangerous?" Arthur scoffed and tilted his head in the direction of the sleeping prisoner. "Just what do you take me for, Ludwig?"

"I didn't mean it like that sir…It's just that he's not handcuffed," the blond bowed his head slightly in apology. Rules state that unless the suspect was charged for murder or assault, the restraints weren't needed.

Arthur chuckled a bit before saying "Don't take it so seriously, lad. Besides, he may not be handcuffed, but I'm still armed," he proved his point by laying a hand over the holster with a loaded pistol inside. "Now off with you all now, that's an order."

As the workers filed out of the room, some merrily thanking the Englishman and wishing him luck, others like Ludwig expressed their concerns before doing what they were told and eventually left.

After Kiku, Ludwig was the last to leave. "If anything happens, good or bad, please inform me," he shot over his shoulder.

The Englishman gave him a half-hearted salute before saying "I will, don't worry. In fact, I'll get a confession out of him before I go on a lunch break,"

"Still, good luck to you sir," Ludwig saluted before softly closing the door behind him.

Making sure that everything was running, the video camera recording and bugs working, Arthur picked up the old-fashioned tape recorder along with some files and entered the interrogation room, closing the door behind him with a faint click.

From entering the room to being up close to the table, the culprit was completely unaware of the newcomer, his head still down.

Arthur looked down at the unconscious figure with a sneer.

This is going to be the easiest confession yet!

The police officer slammed the small recorder down on the table, startling the sleeping American.

"Take cover! Napalm Strike!" The one named Alfred woke up, chocking on his own drool and slowly sitting upright on his chair. He looked around the empty room before staring at Arthur with wide blue eyes. "Oh…"

Arthur continued to smirk at the idiot and sat down on the other chair opposite from the criminal. He started the recorder, announcing the date and time at which the interrogation started and asked the blond for his name.

"I'm Alfred F. Jones! Nice to meet you!" the young man beamed, extending his hand out in greeting. "And you are?"

"I'm not obliged to answer that, seeing as though I'm the one asking the questions," Arthur said icily, glaring at the offered hand in disdain.

"Whaaat? That's not fair, I told you mine," the other whined, giving him a childish pout.

"Sir," the word was strained. "Do you even know why you're here?"

"Uh…yeah. I've been here for a while now. They say I'm charged for copyright infringement or something like that…but I'm not guilty I swear!"

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose wearily.

Why must they always go down fighting…even though it's obvious they lost?

"Well then, I have here with me evidence that says otherwise," The policeman asserted while pulling a couple of sheets out from the file he brought with him earlier to splay across the table.

Alfred looked at the documents over the rims of his glasses, the grin on his face falling.

The Englishman grinned wickedly when he finally grew quiet. "Now, are you going to cooperate and answer my questions?"

The criminal nodded his head slowly in defeat.


Scratch that, this will be the easiest confession of all time!

For a decent amount of time, Alfred willingly answered the questions thrown at him, fidgeting slightly when a few of them implied that he was indeed the culprit. But soon the younger blond grew tired, his head drooping and almost touching the table.

"Say, can I stretch my legs a little and walk around the room? I'll still answer your questions and I won't try anything, promise!"

Although wary that the American can easily break the promise, Arthur didn't want to give himself off as a coward and so allowed him to do so.

"Really? Oh thank you thank you!" Alfred sprung up from his chair, almost causing Arthur to pull his gun out, and began his adventure around the small room.

Piercing emerald eyes always on the American, Arthur continued "Is anyone else working for you?"


"And you told your lawyer that it was you who originally created the game,"

"Yup! It started out as a beta, but then the game got popular and so I made a full version,"

"And you started selling them on the streets,"

"Hey, if you're good at something you don't give it away for free…not my fault it turned out so awesome…" he then caught himself and said "Wait, actually…it is!"

Arthur smirked at the remark, seeing as though the statement will only work against Alfred later on.

As for the American idiot, he continued to stroll along the walls, running a hand along it and tapping it once in a while, humming a patriotic tune.

That won't work

Arthur knew exactly what Alfred was trying to do – finding a hollow area in the wall or tinted window to crash and escape through. He has seen this before and even witnessed a few of the gits actually throw themselves at the walls. None were ever successful.

They're so desperate he chuckled inwardly.

Alfred soon figured this out as well as the scowl on his face grew deeper.

The police officer loved the type of criminal who gave away their emotions so easily; it was a thrill seeing their distraught.

On the final wall, the culprit didn't even bother to try the doorknob when he passed by it. "Are we being watched and recorded from the outside?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out," the sandy blond teased.

Alfred pouted at this. "You suck old man,"

"Sticks and stones lad,"

Growing bored of walking around in circles; he sat back down dejectedly and sighed.

With the tape recorder still running, Arthur then presented a few candid photographs. "These were taken-"

"Hey! I'm in these! How did you know I was at the Comic-Con?"

"Have you forgotten your place already?" Arthur narrowed his eyes at the rude brat. "You were there selling illegal duplicates of the video game at a booth."

"How many times do I have to tell you? How can they be illegal when I'm the one who originally created it? It's all because that damn Russian patented it before me!" Alfred began raising his voice.

He won't admit it, but the sudden outburst took Arthur aback. Still, he kept his calm and answered coolly "Well now, if you've heard about patenting, why didn't you beat him to it before selling them out?"

Alfred rolled his cerulean eyes as he leaned back in his chair. "Psh. It's a rip-off; the business tries to discredit you as much as they can."

"That may be, but because you didn't patent it someone else did. You had your chance and now you try to sell a licensed product that technically doesn't belong to you. It's a criminal offense," Arthur tried to get back to getting a confession when he realized they were going off topic. He then pulled out a small stack of printed papers in front of the American. "Your online transactions indicate that you have an underground business expanding to more than just the U.S. Citizens from some countries in Europe and mainly in Japan have bought your product,"

The culprit bit his lower lip, stunned to silence.

Arthur grinned victoriously, having finally broken the man. "Now then, are you ready to confess to your crime?"

The criminal pouted at the policeman. "I'd like to talk to my lawyer,"

"You can do that after this session."

"C'mon man…Toris is a way nicer person than you…" Alfred whined.

"Belt up."

"You know, you can try to be nicer…even though I'm a criminal doesn't mean I'm not human anymore and so I should be treated like one,"

Arthur snorted at the belief. "I don't want to hear that from someone like you, git; someone who broke the law and stole thousands of dollars from a business. It's all rubbish coming out of your mouth."

"Your arrogance is astounding," Alfred noted with fists balled up in frustration. He tried looking up angrily at the other male in the room, but his puffed up cheeks and glossy eyes made it lose its effect.

The Englishman only sneered and said pointedly "I have the right to be."

Readjusting his glasses with shaky hands, Alfred had his elbows on the table and his hands clasped together like a saint's and pleaded "Can I just get outta here, please?"

The officer only smirked at how desperate the American was being and leaned in to curtly answer "Only if I hear your confession."

"I…" he sounded like he was going to sob. "I don't wanna be here anymore…is there any other way I can get out…?" He leaned in closer to the Englishman and looked around the room cautiously as if telling a big secret. "Like…a bribe?"

"Ha-!" Arthur was about to laugh derisively when a hand grabbed his jaw and yanked him forward, a pair of lips crashing down on his own and a tongue delving into his mouth for a heated kiss. It took him only a moment (or at least he thought it was that short) to realize what was happening and push…

"What the-" he didn't even know his hands were cuffed behind him until he tried to use his arms to distance himself from the American.

"Ow!" Alfred pulled back when his tongue got bitten.

Arthur spared no attention to the whining prat, his fingers immediately trying to worm their way to the keys on his waist…only to find that they weren't there.

"Looking for these?" the geek in the black and white dangled the pair of keys teasingly in front of the policeman. "And this too?" he then offered a gun in his other hand that was behind his back.

Wide green eyes watched in horror as the keys were tossed behind the American. Subconsciously he got up from his seat, toppling the wooden chair over. "H-how…"

Sapphire eyes behind a pair of glasses darkened as Alfred chuckled. "The moment I lunged forward to kiss you, nobody was there to interrupt me and take me away. In that instance, I simply used your own handcuffs to bind you. My fast hands can do more than just use a controller ya know~"

"Fuck…" Arthur glared daggers at the figure stretching and popping a few joints in his arms. "How the bloody fuck…" He was trying to buy some time and inching ever closer to the door a few feet away, his finger trying to find the key to the exit. Because he was the only one in the office, he had to carry one to let himself out once the interrogation was done. If only he wasn't handcuffed…

"Hmhm…hehe…HA HA HA!" Alfred began chuckling softly at first, but then it turned into a malicious and mad cackle. Perhaps the man was mad. "You thought I was just walking around to feel the walls?" Alfred continued to laugh whole-heartedly at the half-question. "Actually, I was looking at every detail on you," he grinned devilishly, pointing an index finger at the retreating Brit. "Including where your gun and handcuffs were. Haah, it took a while, but good things happen to boys who wait,"

With every step Alfred took forward, Arthur took one back. "Get away from me!" It was hard reading the other's intention, but given the situation he was in and the intimidating effect the fluorescent lights above them gave off as it created a glare on one lens of Alfred's glasses, obscuring one of his eyes told him it could be anything but good.

"Hmmm? What's wrong…officer?" he drawled the last word out, pointing the gun at the policeman. "I'm only a 'git', surely there's nothing my incompetent mind can do to someone so superior,"

Arthur gritted his teeth indignantly at the poorly concealed sarcasm. His finger was so close to the key in his back pocket.

"Now hold still! Or do I hafta shoot your legs out?" Alfred joked, waving the pistol back and forth at the policeman's knees. "It's obvious that none of your pals are around, seeing as though they aren't here to save your ass right about now, so why don't you relax, take it easy?"

"You son of a bitch! Take these off me this instant!" He spat while struggling with his handcuffs for emphasis.

Alfred's eyes widened at the sudden insult and command, but they soon twinkled as a smirk spread across his face. "Really, sir? You think you're in any condition to be barking orders at me? I just wanna talk; we criminals can be quite civilized you know,"

"My ass…"

The culprit stopped spinning the gun in his hand, a grim expression etched into his features. "I've tried to compromise…and since no one is going to barge in anytime soon…" Alfred took his sweet time practically waltzing toward the now bound man near the corner of the room.

Arthur ran for it, but was soon pressed up against the door he so dearly wanted to escape through.

"You know, the door's locked from the outside," the police officer felt the other smirk against his ear as he said it. And as if reading his mind, said "Then again, you're by yourself…so you have to have a key on you to get out of here somewhere…" a hand slid down to grope him.

Against his will, Arthur let out a gasp.

"Is it here?" Alfred squeezed one of his ass cheeks, rubbing it with his palm before moving on to the next one. "Maybe you're hiding it here," His hand then snaked their way to the sandy blond's front pockets, digging deep and messaging the thigh beneath.

"Get your filthy hands off me!" Arthur shifted violently, head butting the American square in the jaw backwards.

"Guh!" Alfred released his grip on the policeman for a minute to wipe the blood dripping down his bottom lip.

It may have just been in his panic, but Arthur could have sworn he saw a depraved look on the American's face in the corner of his eye. Before his finger was able to fish the key out of his back pocket by its metal ring, his face was pushed against the cold white wall of the room, an equally cold gun pressed on the back of his head. The handcuffs around his wrists tightened noticeably, making him wince and hiss in pain.

"Hmmm, I better not get myself carried away," Alfred made a mental note to himself. "And as for you, officer, you should be more careful before you get hurt~" he chided the other male, driving the gun deeper past blond hair and scraping against Arthur's scalp. He lowered his head so that his lips were barely touching the policeman's ear. "I've been humiliated for long enough, first getting my game jacked, and now having you dogs chasing after me like this…I will get out of here, one way or another…"

"If you're going to shoot, then do it already punk! I'm getting tired of hearing you talk," Arthur snarked, forcing himself to cackle at the American. It had already dawned on him – he had lost. It only took a small opening, no doubt from his arrogance, for the tables to turn. Alfred anticipated this and if not fed his ego, coaxing him to let his guard down. No wonder tracking this man down was so hard…he was actually very clever despite his goofy exterior. Arthur must have forgotten all about the man's threat after seeing him don the striped uniform – to him a symbol that the worse has past.

To his surprise, Alfred laughed at his suggestion, lowering the firearm. "Of course I won't shoot you, I'm no murderer! But don't tempt me to do other things with this gun," prodding it against the officer's butt as a hint. The criminal then proceeded to removing everything around Arthur's waist, turning off the two-way radio and taking out its batteries and losing the holster. "That's weird…where's the-aha!" The grin he had on threatened to split his face as Alfred reached into the back pocket of Arthur's dark navy slacks, pulling out the small key the Englishman tried so hard to hide from him. "Hehe, I knew you were holding out on me…now let's see what else you got on ya~"

With the flick of the wrist, the brass key sailed over Alfred's shoulder, where it landed somewhere on the far side of the room.

"Ooh, what do we have here?" Alfred pulled out the baton from the Britain's belt. He backed himself away from the bound man, still holding the gun in one hand just in case and pulled out the weapon to its fullest length.

Arthur, now able to turn around to get a good look at the culprit, noticed that despite how the geek was affiliated with planting his ass in front of the screen all day, was actually well-toned and muscular.

Feeling eyes on him, Alfred beamed a smile his way, but then it contorted to a rather smug and suggestive smirk. "Police stuff sure are kinky, don't ya think so, officer?" using the baton like a pointer, he waved it towards the handcuffs behind Arthur's back. "Hmmm, I wonder what I can do with this…?" Alfred dropped the gun on the ground for a moment, securing it beneath his sneakers before making an okay sign with the empty hand. He then shoved the thicker end of the baton through the hole formed by his fingers. Evidently, the hole was too small, so with much force Alfred pretended to shove it until the ring busted open. Looking back at Arthur who was now blanched in horror, he asked huskily "I think you're smart enough to understand my demonstration right officer?"


Alfred was relishing in the way Arthur squirmed uncomfortably at the notion. Picking up the gun once more, he stepped closer to the policeman until he was able to lift the other's chin with the extended baton. "Are you-"

To the criminal's surprise, Arthur blindly charged at him, hands still behind his back from the handcuffs. He wanted nothing more than to knock the bastard's teeth out one way or another; and although he was bound, he still had his feet and head!

"Ole!" Alfred humored the other, swiftly sidestepping to allow Arthur to run right into the abandoned table.

Before he could right himself up from the wooden table, the Englishman felt himself bent over the furniture, chest pressed down on the flat surface. The rough action caused the files from the manila folder to spill onto the floor while the tape recorder now fell to its side, still running. Those lewd hands were once again on his sides.

Throwing the gun and baton to the far side of the table to ensure that Arthur couldn't reach them, Alfred put his hands to much better use and started tracing patterns up and down the sides of the other's legs. Slowly making their way inward, the hands began messaging Arthur's inner thighs, spreading them apart slightly. "What's the matter, sir? Aren't you gonna resist?"

How can the police officer do something like that? Not with his hands bound behind his back and entire body practically immobilized, restrained by the other's weight above. Plus, his body was becoming more responsive with every touch and ministration from the damn American. Without even realizing it, he let out a gasp as Alfred pulled out the neatly tucked-in light blue dress shirt from his pants and snaked a hand up his chest. "Ngh…"

Alfred felt the small tremor from the smaller male and said loudly enough so that the tape recorder could pick up "My, you have a sensitive body…are you sure you're in the right profession?" With one hand still toying around Arthur's groin, the other was busy rubbing and pinching the man's nipple.

Not wanting to humiliate himself any further, Arthur bit his bottom lip to prevent any noise from coming out. That, however, didn't stop the criminal from applying more pressure to his crotch, coaxing a certain organ to life. To his right, he could practically hear the other lick his lips.

"Aww, you're not going to give me the pleasure of hearing your voice?" Alfred teased, darting his tongue out to lick the uncovered patch of skin above Arthur's collared shirt.

"Ah…hnn…" the policeman was ashamed of himself…letting the vulgar noises escape from his lips yet again.

"Say, are you gay by any chance?" the geek asked all of a sudden, halting in his ministrations. He also took this time to remove his glasses, folding them up and placing them next to the gun and baton. When the policeman only glared at him with a flushed face, he mentioned "I really have no preference," And as a joke added "Did you know that animals can be gay too? It's something that exists in nature apparently…Anyways," he resumed licking and biting at the exposed skin, causing the slighter male to shudder beneath him. "Where were we?~"

"W-What are you…?" Arthur struggled against his handcuffs as he felt hands wander down his slacks.

Alfred proceeded to removing the policeman's belt, folding and cracking it a few times, enjoying the sound bounce off the walls.

It made Arthur cringe.

When he grew tired of frightening the man, the culprit tossed the black belt aside and pulled down the other's pants and boxers to his knees in one swift motion. "Well now, aren't we excited?" Alfred said while nibbling on Arthur's earlobe.

Now wishing that he was dead, Arthur saw just how excited his body was getting, muscles tense and arousal getting harder by the second. He really shouldn't be getting off on a prisoner doing these things to him! Yet, when was the last time he's ever done it? High school…college maybe? Ever since he graduated, his job occupied his whole life and nothing more.

"You're not going to make this easy for me, are ya?" Alfred sighed exasperatingly after placing a couple of fingers into the Englishman's mouth, only to take them out before getting bitten. "That's okay! I have other means of getting what I want~"

"Haa-ah!" Arthur moaned when Alfred's hand started stroking his erection ever so slowly, twirling the head with his thumb, leaving ghostlike touches in its wake. The policeman found himself leaning into the hand, desperate for more contact.

"Heh, a sensitive body indeed," he heard the criminal say, only to feel the other's body lifted off from him. "I want to hear you scream, officer,"

"D-Damn you-AHH!" Arthur mewled the instant he felt something wet and hot rub against his hole. Still bent over, his entire body began quaking from the sensation of hands spreading his ass cheeks apart.

"Hmm? Did you say something, sir?" Alfred said hotly against the Englishman's entrance, nipping near it but not exactly on it.

"Hnnn…ngh…" try as he might to control himself, Arthur couldn't stop groaning as Alfred teased his twitching hole, pressing his tongue against it but never penetrating the ring of muscle. "Ah…s-stop…"

"Are you sure that's what you really want? You're already so wet," Alfred proved his point by gently tapping the slit of Arthur's cock, getting some of the precum on his finger. "Besides, I want to taste you,"

Thank god he was bent over the table…he needed the support the moment Alfred's tongue plunged into his entrance and began worming its way inside him, rubbing against his walls. Whatever was left of his self-control crumbled as Alfred began sucking on the hole as well. What was worse was that while one hand kept his legs spread apart, the other resumed playing with his arousal, pumping it rapidly and pressing against his perineum. The sensation was too much, overloading his senses and so it wasn't long before Arthur came with a strangled cry.

Alfred pulled his tongue out of the now wet entrance, his hand still milking the Englishman for all he's worth. "Now don't you be blacking out on me, we were just getting to the good part~" His hand now slicked with the other man's cum, he traced circles around the puckered hole before inserting his index finger in first, watching the police officer's reaction.

Arthur was lost, his willing body welcoming the intruding digit as he arched his back, moaning in pleasure. He mewled particularly loudly and trembled violently when a certain spot inside him was touched.

"Oh, you like that don't you? Let's see, where was it…?" the criminal prodded around inside the Englishman, hitting close to the prostrate but purposefully missing it.

Arthur shot him a glare over his shoulder, earning him a smirk from the American as he inserted another finger into him, stretching and preparing him properly. Still, the policeman wished he'd get on with it, rocking his hips back to meet the thrusting digits.

"Atta boy," Alfred encouraged, rewarding him by applying a generous amount of pressure on his prostrate.

The police officer let out a long moan at the sensation, his whole body shivering. His cock once again twitched to life, aching to be touched. It was truly despicable how he was acting…

When he thought it was enough, the geek retracted his fingers, relishing in the whimper it evoked from the other male. He then pulled down on his black and white striped pants low enough to take out his own throbbing cock and rubbed it between Arthur's buttocks. "I think you're ready…"

"Hgn!" Arthur's breath hitched when the head entered him, his body convulsing as it tried to accommodate the new girth.

"O-okay…maybe I was wrong…should've used the baton after all…" Alfred's voice sounded strained as he tried to remain still while being completely sheathed in the other man. When he thought the sandy blond was alright (he had to assume, he was pretty sure Arthur wasn't going to tell him anything), Alfred slowly pulled himself out and pushed back in again. Thrusting at a cautious pace, the American went in at different angles until a certain one made Arthur writhe in pleasure beneath him, screaming wantonly. The geek chuckled deeply in his throat, licking the shell of the other's flushed ear. "Oh officer, why can't you be more honest like your body?"

Arthur tried once again to go against his bondage, or at least say something coherent back at the criminal, but to no avail. The only things that did come out of his mouth were unrestrained moans and gasps.

Taking this as a sign to keep going, Alfred resumed thrusting into him at a steady pace, at first slowly but even he soon lost patience and began pounding into the slighter man, making absolutely certain to hit his sweet spot every time. And just for the hell of it, he reached around and slid his fingers up and down Arthur's shaft languidly, enjoying the addition tremors he received from the action.

Nothing was said between the two for quite a while; the only sounds in the interrogation room were the slapping of skin, groans from both parties, and the creaking of the wooden table beneath them.

Sooner than the officer anticipated, his emerald eyes rolled back slightly behind his head, climaxing for the second time. But unlike the first time, Alfred's hand wasn't there to catch his seed, the sticky fluid dripping off his cock and onto some of the papers scattered around the floor.

When the man beneath him came, Alfred soon felt it as well when the other clenched around him more tightly, causing him to go over the edge and empty inside of him. He quickly pulled himself out, allowing the milky substance to run down the other's legs as he fetched the keys to the handcuffs, his objective now complete.

Upon hearing the clank of the handcuffs falling off, Arthur instinctively shot up from the table and scrambled to the far side of the room, away from Alfred. He then huddled in the corner, pulling up his slacks messily while rubbing his raw wrists.

"Don't forget these," A voice brought his attention back to the blond sliding the pistol and baton across the floor in his direction while putting the glasses back on his face professionally, his cock already put away back in his pants. "I think it would be better for the both of us if we left the room alive,"

Rage suddenly bubbling up inside of him, Arthur grabbed the gun and pointed it at Alfred, intent on pulling the trigger. "You bastard…"

"H-Hey now, don't you know what kind of troubles you'll run into if they find-"

"I know damn well, boy," the police officer hissed. "And I don't really care at the moment. The only thing that concerns me is wiping that smirk off your face!"

"But I'm not smirking at you!" Alfred cried, his lip quivering. "J-Just put the gun down…I just-" he raised his hand up in defeat, the other clutched to his chest as if to protect himself from the shot.

Arthur remained holding the gun out with a steady hand. "You know, twat, I can just cover up the evidence, then no one will know about the incident,"

A teasing tone crept into Alfred's voice as he said his next statement. "I just wanted to tell you that you'll look ridiculous pointing a gun at me if it isn't loaded,"


A clinking noise was heard as bullets rained from Alfred's clutched hand and landed on the floor; revealing that the firearm was empty and that the prisoner had already removed all the bullets from the gun before giving it back to the policeman.

When did he…?

The Englishman tried pulling the trigger several times to see if perhaps one bullet was left, but to no avail. He could always pick the ammunition up and then shoot Alfred, but that would require him to crawl over to the criminal pathetically…something he absolutely refused to do.

Alfred was always one step ahead of him.

Blinded by anger, he threw the useless weapon to the side and the two remained quite for a time before Arthur heard the other pick up the toppled chair and sit on it, turning off the tape recorder that was on the whole time. In the corner of his eyes, he saw that Alfred was playing with the handheld device, making it walk on its two corners.

"Here's a proposition," he began. "You let me out now." When all he got from the Brit was a glare he reasoned "You enjoyed my 'service' didn't you, officer?"

"Don't make me laugh," the Englishman snapped bitterly. "It was hardly enjoyable! And how anyone else can is beyond me,"

The geek in the prisoner attire only sighed and said "Ya can't please everyone…although…your body looked like it was having the time of its life,"

A thought then struck Arthur. "Well git, if you were able to rummage through my belongings, why not just take the key to the door and let yourself out?"

"Oh ho, that's only part of what I want," Alfred chuckled. "In exchange for keeping my mouth shut on what happened here, you will let me go free of criminal charge. I know that you have a lot of influence on the team and so they'll agree with you easily."

For a moment Arthur's mouth hung open, staring wide-eyed at the crook. "You're despicable…"

"Hey, if you think about it, what I did is a petty crime in comparison to murder. Besides, you can always go out and tell them yourself that I raped you; then I'll be charged for that and definitely end up behind bars," he smirked, looking over at the man in the corner with dark sapphire eyes. "Of course, only if you can swallow that pride of yours and tell them that. That the great Arthur, out of his arrogance, told his crew to leave him alone with a geeky criminal only to be raped by him," Alfred guffawed at the summation of what just happened.

Arthur's eyes widened yet again as he heard his name. "How the bloody hell do you know my name? I didn't tell you it…"

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Alfred mimicked the Englishman's accent as he said it.

"…So it's blackmail…"


"You won't get away with this!"

"Try me." It was Alfred's turn to sneer. "But again, it all depends on you ya know," When Arthur continued to leer at him he said "Glare and curse at me all you want, but it won't change anything. Now make a decision,"

Arthur remained quiet for a time, going over his options. He really didn't want to be ridiculed by the incident, and even though the others will feel sorry for him and support him, there was no point in it if it robbed him of his pride.

Wanting to break the silence, the criminal mentioned "Ya know…if there was any other way to blackmail you, I would have done it instead of this…but seeing as though there wasn't at the moment, I had to make do with what I had,"

The police officer chewed on his bottom lip in frustration. "You selfish prat…"

"And you're not?"

"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm a police officer!" Arthur defended himself. "It's my job to protect the people from scum like you,"

"Don't give me that bullshit," Alfred countered. "Explain how capturing a nerd like me can save someone's life. If you really cared, you would be solving murder and missing people cases,"

"It's also my responsibility as an investigator to resolve unsolved cases-"

Alfred interrupted him by retorting "You only took my case because it was a challenge for you, nothing more." Blue eyes staring icily at the police officer he asserted "You only take on your job for your own self-gratification, the thrill of the chase and how you love to see the culprit get sent to jail…sick fuck…you get off from it!"

Not wanting to lose in the argument, Arthur finally found his voice again a moment later and spat "S-Still…it contributes to the community-"

"Don't use that as an excuse to see people fall before you…I saw that haughty and twisted look in your eyes the moment you started the interrogation,"

Stunned to silence, Arthur hung his head slightly. He didn't want to admit it aloud, but what that bastard said was true. Almost every damn word of it.

When nothing was exchanged between them Alfred offered in a softer voice "Since you were so…cooperative, I'll throw in this deal: if you let me go, I'll stop my underground marketing. But if you choose to keep me here – without a confession by the way – my tongue might slip and tell one of the officers how delicious your body was when I took it and how your wanton voice was music to my ears." He then snickered a bit. "We can be the talk across the town!"

The officer gawked at him as if he was mad. "You'll be sending yourself to jail!"

"Hey, I'm still here either way yeah? Might as well make it hell for you too~" Knowing fully well how under pressure the policeman was, Alfred continued "Come on, if you let me go, you can get rid of the video clips of this room and the tape recorder. I swear I'll get out of your life for good and you can leave this incident behind and move on."

Other than his humiliation of getting raped, his failure to get a confession would also blemish his records, but he'll just have to choose the lesser of two evils. "F-fuck…" Arthur eventually made a decision that made Alfred smile a big smile.

"I knew you'd make the right choice~"


"Eh? Mr. Kirkland, are you positive? It was all a mistake?" Kiku had to ask after Arthur revealed the results of the other day's interrogation.

"Y-Yes…after questioning the suspect, it was clear to me that he was framed for the actions of the real Alfred F. Jones…In fact, that may not even be the culprit's real name," Arthur couldn't really look into his assistant's brown eyes when he said it. "He could barely answer any of my questions, and was rather clueless when I showed him the evidence. His identity probably got stolen and used as a scapegoat…I have a feeling the criminal already moved out of the country…"

Kiku peered into green eyes before nodding his head in agreement. "He does look rather uncharacteristic to be a criminal…Still, I'm sorry that after pursuing him for so long, it turns out he's the wrong person,"

Arthur shook his head dismally. "There's no need to apologize, it's not your fault,"

It's mine…

"Anyways, I'm closing this case…permanently."

Again the Japanese assistant nodded his head. "I think that would be for the better; we should be working on other pressing cases,"

Before anyone else could get another word in, the two officers whirled around to the sound of boisterous laughter bouncing off the hallway they were in.

"Ha ha ha! This is great! Once I get outta here, I'm gonna go buy myself a double cheese burger and super-sized soda! I mean, no offense, but the food here is kinda stale," Alfred chattered to Ludwig, who was now escorting him out of the station.

The German didn't seem to mind the noise and couldn't help but smile a little at the American's cheery attitude even after being wrongfully detained for a time.

Now wearing a white t-shirt and leather bomber jack, the blond had a bounce in his step, thrilled to be released. "I knew justice would prevail in the end!"

The proclamation made Arthur twitch at how he could say that so easily.

"Sir, I know you're disappointed in the fact that you got the wrong man, but you did a splendid job proving this one's innocence," Ludwig saluted the other police officer once they caught up with them.

Arthur seemed to flinch at the compliment but said "Y-yes, thank you…"

Kiku bowed at both officers before excusing himself and walking in the direction opposite of the freeman and Ludwig. "These files need to be put away."

"Excuse us," Ludwig curtly nodded in Arthur's direction before taking off, Alfred following suit.

But before the sandy blond was completely out of his sight, the criminal turned his head and winked at him.

Arthur blushed madly and eyed the man who didn't turn around and watched as he met up with his Lithuanian lawyer to praise him on a good job he did to get him out of jail. The policeman grimaced as his hand tightened around the small tape recorder in his front pocket, swearing under his breath.

"Damn that geek in the bomber jacket!"

Endnotes: Ok...you may all kill me now...I deserve to be thrown into the pit of Tartarus for this OTL. Anyways, in my head Alfred is actually civilized and smart, so I thought it would be interesting if he was the villain in the fic instead of a hero...an evil genius one might say. Oh, and the fact that he sounded like he's off his rocker in some instances with Arthur, that's all just a scare-tactic XD He's very sane, don't you worry. On another note, this fic had more build-up than smut...I'm sorry. It's my first time writing something like it and so I kind of wanted to avoid it, and seeing as though it wasn't completely consensual, extending it was difficult. So you guys get this. Anyways, I'm sooo sorry if I upset any and probably all of you...but at least I tried to make Arthur fight back instead of crying or something...right?...Right? On a more serious note, more men get raped than one might think; but because like Arthur, they are too prideful or for another reason, do not report it, keeping it to themselves.

I'm a horrible person, my first smut and it had to be something close to/is considered rape. I seriously think I need to visit a therapist, seeing as though this idea just came to me in the middle of the night the moment I opened my eyes...so if you know any good therapists, feel free to tell me (it'll be much appreciated).

Reference and Explanations:

"Take cover! Napalm Strike!" - A reference to the video game Call of Duty Black Ops, it's an airstrike that covers an area in napalm, causing instant death if you get touched by it. You can tell one is coming when you hear an airplane whoosh by.

Comic-Con - In my opinion it's like an equivilant of the Ota-Con or anime convention, just with comic book characters instead.

"Relax, take it easy" - A song by Mika.

"Did you know animals can be gay too?" - Yes...they can. I was shocked to find this out and so had to include it in the story somewhere...

That's enough blabbering from me, please review to tell me what you think! Hmm, once I look back at this, the story has potential for some sort of sequel...but I don't know...suggestions? Or you can just throw me off a cliff now XD

Oh, and be honest now, how many of you were thinking of the song Geek in the Pink by Jason Mraz when you first read the title?