Snape's Portrait

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Severus Snape's portrait was hung in the headmaster's office. Headmaster McGonagall was away at the moment and Severus decided to humour himself without destroying his reputation while he had the chance.

Severus reached his hand to his robes and pulled out a long black wand. He gave it a flick and bananas flew out of the end into his portrait. Laughing merrily he made the bananas fly towards the other portraits of the previous headmasters. Albus Dumbledore yelped as a bunch of bananas sailed into his portrait. "Severus! What are you doing?" He demanded.

Completely ignoring Albus's question he said in a very un-Snape-ish fashion, "have a banana Albus! Yum, yum, yum!" Albus scowled and banished the fruit. "Aww, Albus! You're no fun! Those bananas were yummy!" Severus giggled.

McGonagall walked into her office and Severus cursed. His moment of fun was lost. The headmaster had a young boy by the arm. Severus took a moment to glance at the boy. The portrait gasped and saw that this boy was unmistakably Potter's brat. The same untidy hair, and the...and Lily's green eyes. McGonagall shouted at him, "what were you doing in the kitchens Albus Potter? You know very well that it is against the rules to be hanging there! You should be in Herbology!" Albus? Harry named his brat after the greatest wizard of all time? How dare he!

Severus sneered, "You can't blame him Minerva. Skipping class is something all Potters do." The Potter gazed at him for a moment before turning to McGonagall. "Please Professor. I swear that I saw Scorpius Malfoy head off there and so I-"

"And so Potter went off the to save the day." Severus drawled and rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I'd thought that the line of Potter's idiocy would at least change though three generations. Did it occur to you to inform a teacher?" Albus glared at him with distaste. McGonagall pursed her lips in thought of what to say.

But they were interrupted by a loud thunder of foot step. It was the dunderhead Longbottom. He look puffed as if he had run all the way to the office. "Headmistress, some of the plants have gotten..." The Herbology Professor hesitated, "you'd better come."

As McGonagall headed away with Longbottom, the dunderhead Potter walked up towards Severus's portrait. "You're Severus Snape, aren't you?" The portrait scowled, "thank you for stating the obvious."

"Do you know what my name is?"

"Bragging about your own name now? Aren't you glad that your father named you after the greatest wizard who ever lived?" The portrait of Dumbledore smiled, "Severus, you make me blush!" Severus sneered at the sight of Potter's shocked expression.

But then the brat did something that shocked Severus. "My name is Albus Severus Potter!" He yelled. Severus Snape felt like he was going to faint.

"You are my namesake." The Potter boy took a quill out of his robes and started drawing onto the canvas.

"Stop, STOP! This is vandalism!" Severus yelled and dashed into his neighbouring portrait which unfortunately was Dumbledore's.

"I'm gonna get you back for what you said to me."

Moments later, the Potter vandal stepped back from the canvas to admire his work. A picture of a stag drawn. It was rather fetching. The boy did seem to have an amazing artistic ability. Severus shook his head trying to rid himself of this ridiculous thought.

He yelled and Dumbledore clapped his hands over his ears. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PORTRAIT YOU-" Dumbledore slapped a hand over Severus's mouth. The Potter grinned at him, "my dad told me that my grandfather was a stag animagus. I think that you'll enjoy some company." He nodded in the direction of Severus's portrait where the stag was grinning contentedly.

Severus screamed and saw that the stag bore the same resemblance to the original James Potter. If Severus hadn't been a portrait, then he would have cursed the Potter into oblivion.

Angrily, he stormed back into his portrait. Severus glared at the stag. It trotted towards him and urinated onto the canvas.

Dumbledore took that moment to say, "Do you want a banana to cheer you up Severus?"

A crazy drabble which popped into my mind. I hope you like it.

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