A/N: Wrote this in the car on the way home from a holiday. Just wanted to let you know that this is slightly AU, Tony did NOT fall in love with Jeanne.

This is set during Truth or Consequences, and it's Tony's thoughts from after he has found out about the Damocles sinking. One-shot.

It's true what they say.

You never miss something until it's gone.

People come into your life for a reason.

To fill a void, or teach you a lesson.

Sometimes they teach you many lessons.

Some lessons are short, some last a lifetime.

They come into your life to help you.

And then there is one person who teaches you the most sacred of lessons: to love and be loved.

Your soul mate.

They always come to you at exactly the right time.

But the funny thing is, they never seem to leave at the right time.

Would something go wrong; would they leave you if they were truly your soul mate?

This is the question that Tony DiNozzo asked himself every single day, for three months.

Three long, painful, lonely, endless months.

Three months without her.

The woman that was unique in every way. The woman that was smart, wise, beautiful, elite and simply irresistible. The woman that had only taught him half of his lesson. The woman Tony had fallen utterly and completely in love with. The woman he was falling harder and harder for every day they were apart like this.

And her name was Ziva David.

It was crazy, the way he felt about her. He knew he couldn't tell a soul. They wouldn't understand. He wasn't even sure he understood.

Tony hated to admit it sometimes, even to himself. But there was no denying it. Ziva was the one who had taught him to love. And it was cruel of Death to have taken her so ruthlessly. It wasn't her time. It can't have been.

She never knew how he felt.

He would never know the true secrets of her heart.

He would never know what it felt like to hold her in his arms, and to feel her breathing peacefully, happy to be with him.

He would never feel their fingers intertwine as their lips met in a kiss like no other.

He would never feel her weight on him as they slept late into the morning.

He would never get to stand by her side at the altar, saying his vows and looking right into her chocolate eyes.

But worst of all, he would never get to see her beautiful smile again. And it just broke his heart.

He knew no one else could fill the void Ziva had left in his life. He felt empty. He could never give the love to another, knowing it was meant for her.

And now Tony only wanted one thing.

And he wouldn't stop until he got it.