Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Outtake of the Christmas a year before Edward married Jess and Bella ended it with Edward.
Christmas at the Swan house was nothing short of irritating. It was spent with my mom in her ugly holiday sweater, while my dad drank beer and played cards with the family friends that we always celebrated with, needless to say, it was boring and I missed Edward.
We both had wanted to spend Christmas together, but since I had chosen to be with him at Thanksgiving I could not get out of Christmas with my parents, as much as I had tried to. Edward understood since he was forced to endure a formal Christmas at the Cullen house with his grandfather. He hated the formality of it, but that was Christmas for him.
We had spent the last couple of days leading up to our time apart locked away in my apartment. We celebrated the end of the semester with beer and laughter while we made love on every surface of the place. I loved it. Edward had shut off his phone and for three glorious days he was mine alone. I think only his sister Alice that he was with me, but she was under strict orders only to contact him if there was some sort of life ending catastrophe that only he could prevent. Our cover story was that we were studying for a prep course that would help us with torts in the spring semester. Alice didn't question our reason for being locked away together. She never questioned us, even though she should have.
My body still tingled from the memory of making love to him on the floor beside the Christmas tree while the colorful lights from it shined upon his skin making him look more like an angel than a man. I could almost hear his velvety voice whispering in my ear, all breathy from the act of making love, my Bella, causing me to shudder now.
"What's the matter? Are you cold?" my mom called to me, pulling me out of my wonderful memory of making love to Edward like a bucket of ice water over my head. I shook my head no and looked away from her. She did not know about Edward, and I was not about to tell her either. Well, she didn't know that he was my lover, boyfriend, whatever it was that you wanted to call him. She only knew him as Edward, the boy who was my friend.
Edward referred to himself as my boyfriend, even though it was a bit of a sham since he had Jessica. She still lived in another city two hours away and he still never called or went to see her. I did not understand his relationship with her and I told him this many times. He would always tell me that breaking up with Jess would disappoint his family and he did not want to disappoint them. Edward was like that, never wanting to disappoint them, even though it killed me slowly knowing that Jessica Stanley was out there, like a dark cloud over my head.
The night passed and friends of my parents lingered around. I watched as my father drank beer and played cards while mom and her friends gossiped about everyone in town. I felt out of place. I did not belong here. I could not be happy in this small town; I just wished that my mom would understand that since she was always pushing me to come home.
I was about to excuse myself for the night when my phone beeped, signaling me that I had a text message. I smiled at this since I knew it had to be Edward. We had been texting back and forth all night since he felt just as out of place at his grandfather's house as I did here with mom.
Edward missed me. It made my heart pound in my chest knowing that he missed me like I missed him.
Miss you too
I smiled as I hit send and thought of how we would spend the night on the phone together if we could not be in each other's presence.
"I'm going to bed mom," I called as I climbed the stairs to my old bedroom. It was still decorated as if I was still in high school with rock band posters and flyers of bands at bars that I had gone to see. Stepping in to my room was like stepping back in time for me.
Are you home?
Yes, I was at home, if you could call this place that, but I was wishing I was back in my tiny apartment with him once more.
Yes, but I wish I was with you.
I waited for his response and it came quickly. I smiled to myself as I felt my phone vibrate in my hand.
Look out your window.
I rushed to my window and looked out to find snow softly falling, making it look like a winter wonderland as big, fluffy white snowflakes fell to the ground. I looked around and could not see anything, but then a light flashed. It was a cell phone light. I looked closer and there was Edward, standing off to the side of my yard with a slight smile on his face as he watched me discover him. Once our eyes met he started to laugh.
I covered my mouth to muffle my squeal of delight as I watched him walk across the yard while the outdoor Christmas light illuminated his figure in reds and yellows and blues. He looked like an angel as he moved so he was standing directly beneath my window looking up at me with a teasing grin as he laughed.
I threw open my window and soon I could hear his laughter ringing in the empty night around him.
"What are you doing here?" I called down to him in a loud whisper, hoping like hell that my mom was not watching us from the living room window.
"I missed you and I wanted to see you," he replied with a teasing smile.
"What about your family?" I asked him as I leaned further out the window. I knew how important his family was to him.
"What about them?" he asked me teasingly as he walked closer to the tree that was right by my window.
"Do they know you're here?" I questioned him as he looked up at me with a smile.
"Yes. Alice does and so do some others," he replied as I watched him reach up and pull on the overhead branch as if he was testing its strength. Before I had a chance to question him further Edward started to climb the snow covered tree dressed in his khaki paints and button down shirt while wearing his black pea coat with dress shoes.
"Edward!" I whispered loudly, hoping to discourage him so I could figure out a way to get him inside of my room without him breaking his neck, but he only shh'd me instead while he continued to slip and climb his way up the tree.
It was nerve wracking to watch him climb the tree. I watched with held breath until he finally reached my window.
"Step back," he whispered as he looked at me before eyeing the distance between the tree branch and my ice covered window ledge. I watched as he appeared, head first through my window as if it was fucking magic.
Edward landed on the hard wood floor with a soft thud and I soon rushed to his side. He slowly pulled himself up to standing and once he did he pulled me into his embrace as if he could not wait to touch me.
He was covered in snow and ice causing me to shiver in his arms as he held me there. I could feel him breathing me in as he pressed his cold face into my neck while murmuring my name as if it were a prayer.
"Seriously, what are you doing here?" I asked him in a muffled voice since I was pressed into his chest. I felt Edward pull back just enough to look down at me with an almost sad look on his face.
"What? I can't be with you now?" he asked me, trying to sound teasing, but he just sounded flat instead.
"I am glad you're here. I am just surprised that's all," I offered as I stepped back and pulled on his winter coat in hopes that he was staying long enough to take it off at least. Edward quickly took off his coat and then scooped me up in his arms as if I were a child.
He carried me over to the bed and then sat down while holding me on his lap. My bed here in Forks was only a double, not nearly as big as my queen sized bed in Seattle and now with him on it, it seemed even smaller.
"I have a present for you," he said softly with a smile that looked sad as he grabbed at his coat that was tossed on the bed beside us.
I watched as he pulled a robin egg colored small box out of his coat pocket. It had a brown bow wrapped around it and was small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. My heart started to pound as I looked at the box. The only thing I could think of was that Edward had bought me a ring. I felt my breathing start to become shallow and I mentally had to remind myself to breathe so I would not faint in front of him.
"This is for you," he whispered to me as he handed me the small box. I slowly unwrapped the box and then opened it to find a necklace, not a ring. My heart dropped as I realized I had been wrong once more about Edward. This was not a ring at all, and why would he give me a ring? He hadn't even told me that he loved me yet so a ring would be a little premature.
I looked at the necklace. It was a platinum necklace that had a platinum pendant in the shape of a key and covered in diamonds. The diamond covered key was a little more than two inches long and the top part had a sunburst like pattern on it. It was beautiful and it took my breath away with its extravagance.
"Do you like it?" he asked me softly as the voices from down stairs floated up and filled the empty room we were in. I did like it.
"Yes, it's gorgeous, Edward," I whispered to him as he smiled almost as bright as the diamonds in the necklace. I watched as Edward took the box from my trembling hands and slowly pulled the pendant out along with the platinum chain that it was connected to. He motioned for me to turn so he could place it on me. I felt him move my hair and soon the necklace was in place, branding me as his. I felt his cold lips brush over the skin on the back of my neck after he fastened the clasp for me, giving me goose bumps from the sensation of his lips on me.
He pulled back and looked at the necklace as it lay against the t-shirt that I was wearing. It glittered in the moonlight that filled my room.
"Edward, this is too much," I whispered to him. I knew that this necklace covered in diamonds had to be quite expensive. Edward had money, but I never wanted him to think that was what I was interested in since I wasn't. I wanted him and only him, his money was just a complication to me.
"You are my girl and this is my Christmas gift to you, so you can't say no," he whispered back and then brushed his lips against mine. They were still cold from being out in the winter night.
Kissing Edward was like nothing else that I had ever done. His lips melted against mine as if he was made for me. My hands found their way into his hair by their own accord while he pressed me closer. I could hear him whispering that he needed me. I needed him too.
I pulled myself away from him slowly, so I could stand up. I needed to make sure that my door was locked since the last thing I wanted was mom walking into my room while Edward was with me. She would ask questions and they all would be questions that I could not answer. He watched me with a slight smile, but he seemed off and I told him so.
"It's nothing Bella. It's just family stuff. You know what an ass grandpa can be," he whispered sadly as he brushed the hair out of my eyes with a sad smile that made my heart hurt for him.
Edward Cullen Sr. was demanding and expected a lot from his name sake. He expected nothing but perfection from Edward in all areas of his life. It was this unreasonable expectation that would drive Edward to extremes in pursuit of pleasing grandpa. I hated the old guy because of it.
I pulled Edward close as he worked to remove my shirt swiftly, while telling me he wanted to see the pendant against my skin. I could not tell him no. I could never tell him no. Soon I found myself bare before him while he touched where the key pendant rested against my heart.
"You are so beautiful, Bella," he managed to say as his fingers delicately traced the outline of the key against my sensitive skin. His fingers were cold still and caused goose bumps in their wake. His green eyes locked with mine and I could see all the hidden emotions in them that were there just for me.
"I picked this out just for you. I knew when I saw it that you had to have it. I had to see it on you," he mused softly as his hands trailed over my skin slowly, teasingly as I sighed into his touch, but his eyes never wavered from mine.
I helped him undress so that way he was as bare as I was and only then did it feel right. It did not matter that my parents were down-stairs with friends celebrating Christmas. All that mattered to me was the man who was holding me close, whispering to me how beautiful I was to him, how much he needed me and god help me, I needed him too.
Edward laid me back on the bed gently as if I was made of glass and then slowly began to kiss me in a worshiping manner that made my heart pound in my chest. He would pause every so often and just look at me as if he was trying to memorize this moment in time.
"Edward," I whispered to him, but he never stopped, he only continued on his quest to kiss every inch of my body. His hands roamed over me, causing me to sigh in delight as they caressed my skin.
"You were born to wear this," he whispered as he paused and kissed where his necklace touched my skin. I could see the possessiveness in his eyes. I could see how much he loved having his necklace on me and it made me delirious with want.
"I knew it would be beautiful on you, but I had no idea how perfect you would look wearing my pendant, my key," he whispered as his green eyes glowed with lust and something else that I could see, but not name as he looked at me.
Edward slowly continued his exploration of my body. He kissed the scar on my side that resulted from when I climbed the tree outside of my window to run away when I was twelve. He kissed every mole and freckle that he could find, as if he was memorizing my body.
He made a slow trek down one leg licking and nipping until his mouth came to rest on my inner thigh, just short of where I wanted his mouth to be and then he started on the other leg as I whined and rocked my hips hoping to encourage him on until he was finally between my legs, blowing cool air against my hot skin while I laid there, trembling, waiting for his next move.
Edward had been the first man to ever kiss me, love me there with his mouth. He was not the first man I had ever had sex with and for some reason I regretted that, even though I was not his first either. My former boyfriend had already claimed me like that, but it was never good. I never felt like I could fly like I did when I was with Edward, nor did Jacob ever make me feel like I was burning alive for his touch like I did for Edward's. Edward was my real first as I liked to tell myself and he often told me that it was the same for him. He would tell me how no one ever touched him, loved him or made him feel alive like I did.
I was pulled from my thoughts as I felt his tongue take a long stroke along my center going from clit to entrance in a bold move that sucked the air out of my lungs before he started to work with his tongue against my clit in the manner that I had demanded from him. I felt his fingers suddenly appear and start to thrust inside of me in time with his tongue until I let out a strangled cry that I tried to keep muffled in hopes that mom would not come investigate the sounds I was making.
Edward kept up with this blistering pace, pushing me, causing me to spin out of control and head-first into the abyss of a strong orgasm while I chanted his name like prayer on my lips. I was still seeing stars as he slowly moved up my body, kissing me in various spots until he was fully on top of me. I wrapped my still wobbly legs around his narrow hips, urging him on as I reached up to grab his shoulders and then finally his hair to hold him to me.
I looked into his glowing green eyes that held mine and I could see him. I could see the beauty that was Edward. I could see his intelligence and his laughter. I could see all the care and brilliance inside him that drew me to him like a moth to a flame. I also could see a sadness that had never been there before when we made love like this.
"You are mine, Bella, always mine," he whispered and then leaned in for a kiss that took my breath away as he slowly entered me, stretching me to accommodate his size. I stuttered nonsensical words into his mouth as he slowly thrust inside of me, claiming me as his.
"Never, never go," he stuttered against my ear as his slow pace started to burn me from the inside out. I wrapped my legs higher and felt him slide deeper inside me as he groaned softly from the new angle of entry.
"My Bella," he whispered in a breathy tone as he shifted his weight to grab my breast and hold it in his large hands while his thumb rubbed against my over sensitive nipple, causing sparks of pleasure to shoot out in my blood stream from his touch.
"Oh god, Edward," I gasped as he picked up his pace, thrusting faster, deeper, as he moaned fuck in my ear as I grabbed to hold him tighter while my orgasm took over, causing me to shake under his touch while he started to pound unmercifully into me, driving me hard and fast into another orgasm before I had even recovered from the last as he sought his.
I felt his hand rubbing and then tweaking my clit until I finally shuddered and cried out in pleasure, not caring if my mother heard me or not. The only thing I cared about was the man above me, pushing me into another world of sensation. Edward thrust deep and then stilled as he came inside me, spilling all he had as he groaned out loud from the pleasure that over took him before he collapsed on top of me, pinning me with his welcomed weight.
We lay with my legs wrapped around his shoulders for a moment and then Edward slowly moved so that I could move my legs so that they were wrapped around his waist as he lay on top of me so I was hugging his long form now. He was silent and that was not like him. Typically once we were done, Edward wanted to talk about the day or what we had done, or anything really. This was odd and it scared me since it was so out of character for him.
I waited for him to say something, anything, but he remained silent. Edward just continued to caress my skin and place soft, open mouthed kisses against my shoulder and neck as he lay on me.
"Edward," I finally said in a voice that did not sound like my own. It sounded scared and I was scared since this- all of this was- so out of character for Edward. He had never driven to my home in Forks. He had never met my parents. He had never bought me jewelry or anything of real substance like it since I would have refused it and he knew this about me. It was never about what he could buy me, and he could buy me anything with the money he had. The only thing I wanted was him and he knew this as well.
"Promise me, no matter what, you'll keep the necklace," he finally whispered to me in a soft voice that hinted at sadness.
"Of course, it is gift from you. I loved it Edward and will keep it forever," I whispered as he moved enough so that we were face to face now. There was a look on his face that was a cross between defeat and hurt that surprised me enough that I stared mesmerized into his emerald colored eyes.
"Promise me that you know that you are mine," he said as I nodded my head in agreement, hoping like hell that agreement to his word would take the look of pain off his face, but it didn't.
"There could never be anyone else except you," I whispered to him and then pressed a kiss to his soft lips as means of a promise. Edward kissed me quickly with a soft moan as I held him close to me, hoping that he could feel my promise to him.
"Promise me," he stuttered as he looked into my eyes. Edward never stuttered. He was always confident and it was that confidence that made him so irresistible to me. To see him now, uncertain, shaken, and clinging to me was terrorizing in a way that I could not describe. Something was wrong, terribly wrong.
"Promise me that you understand that…promise me that you know that I am yours," Edward stammered as he shifted so that he was more off of me than on. I tried to move, but he was too fast. He brought his hands up to cup my face, almost forcing me to look at him now.
My eyes met his and I was sure he could see the surprise on my face since this was the closest that Edward had ever come to saying that he loved me. His eyes held mine as if he was daring me to deny his claim. I knew I was his. I knew this the first moment we touched and I could feel the spark of electricity that centered on where his hand touched mine. I knew that each time we touched or kissed or made love, it was only strengthening the bond we had that proved that I was his.
"I am yours, always know that Bella," he whispered in a pleading manner that scared me even more since Edward never pleaded. He never had to since he always got his way no matter what. His green eyes held mine with an intense look that had me frozen against him as I stared back hypnotized by their brightness in the dark of my room.
Edward moved once more and slowly kissed me, teasing me, until I opened my mouth so his tongue could tangle with mine in a suggestive manner of what was to come as his one hand tangled in my hair to hold my face to his while his other slowly trailed down my arm until he held me to him on my small bed.
We made love again as he whispered over and over that I was his and he was mine. It made my heart pound in my chest from his declaration as well as the hurt I could see in his eyes as he looked at me. The night passed and as it did Edward stayed with me. I would doze off and then wake up to Edward's heated kisses that had an edge of desperation to them while he would whisper for me not to leave him.
In the morning we awoke to the sound of my mom pounding on my bedroom door announcing that she and dad were going up to the Biers's house for Christmas morning breakfast. She told me to get there before noon and then left me alone.
Edward and I stayed in bed making love until he had to get up to leave to return to his world, leaving me alone in mine. I walked him out into the cold December air and watched him walk to his car that was parked down the block from my house so it would not draw attention. He would turn around and tell me to go back inside since it was cold, but I had to watch him leave. It was part of my time with him, I always watched him leave me to return to them, to her, without me.
It was days later that I learned that Edward became engaged to Jess over Christmas. She was in Portland, Oregon, not even in the same damn state as him when she announced their engagement. I was told later that it brokered like a business deal and that Edward was not even informed about it until later. How could he have known since he was in bed with me at the time?
I later questioned Edward about it and he remained mostly silent, just telling me that he was expected to do certain things as a Cullen and marrying Jessica was one of those things.
"Bella, she comes from my world. She understands how things work in my world. I knew you wouldn't understand any of this," Edward said to me with irritation in his voice that made me feel small and unworthy.
He was wrong though, I understood perfectly. Edward always underestimated me for some reason that I could not comprehend. I understood that Jessica was a proper choice for Edward. She came from a family with a similar social standing and wealth to match his. She was the perfect trophy wife with her blonde hair and pretty face. She was designed to head charity events and host parties. I was none of those things. I was a police officer's daughter that went to college on scholarship. I may be pretty, but I had none of the social training to stand my ground within the Cullen family as Edward's chosen one to the outside society. I knew all of this and yet I had hoped that it would be different. I was a fool, Edward's fool.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thank you for reading the story and for checking out this outtake.
I want to send a special thanks out to Parama. Without her this story would be horrible! Thank you for listening to my ramblings and helping me sort out which way the story should go, as well as fix my writing. Without you there is no story! Hugs to you Parama!