Sometimes I start thinking these things I think too much and it kinda makes me angry I didn't want to love her no never wanted to and when I feel these things I write it down not on a computer that can be easily traced I write on paper yeah words on paper and then end end as I burn them down and they become distant memories
Of that moment where I felt like she was the one the only one she was me, she was like me, the pain inside the secrets and lies and it all comes down to us and God she is so beautiful
And here I am writing like a fool and she is asleep by my side which is surprising cause she never sleeps and she's even snoring a bit a cute, light snore and she won't believe me and she'll say I'm lying when I tell her later that she snores
And she'll be worried about Alex or the Division and I'll play along and tell her yeah let's do it but what I really want to do is take her in my arms and tell her it's gonna be ok I'm gonna take care of her and we'll move to a farmhouse in Milwaukee and raise 5 kids and the Division will be a distant memory and Michael oh who's Michael he doesn't know her like I do he doesn't love her like I do
I love her, I do, I love her and I don't want to, I can't, I can't
Then I burn these words I wrote on paper and go back to sleep by her side.