A/N: And we have a one-shot ladies and gentlemen! Plot bunny attack. Heh. Nothing big, just Wes and David ruining Blaine's life.
Wes and David stood outside of the room, mirroring each others mortified, and slightly proud expressions. They had told Blaine to man up and into Kurt's pants, but they didn't mean it quite so literally. They meant something more along the lines of, 'ask him out and put everyone out of their misery.' Clearly, Blaine misunderstood.
"In my room, too!" David whimpered, ear at the keyhole. Wes shivered from the floor. (The had argued about who got to eavesdrop where, and after a furious battle of Rock Paper Scissors, he was forced to press his ear up against the crack separating the carpet and the door.
"I wonder if they're doing it on your bed..." Wes pondered, earning him a kick from David.
"Don't speak of such nonsense!" He said, though eyeing the door more suspiciously now. The two of them had planned to go to David's room, which he shared with Blaine, only to hear loud screams clearly belonging to Kurt emerging from it. This frightened them.
"Shh, they're talking!" Wes whispered, straining his hearing. "I love me some pillow talk." Sure enough, both boys were able to make out the other two were saying from inside.
"Blaine, please..." Kurt's voice rang out, panting.
"Not until you give me what I want." He whispered back, sounding triumphant. David smirked, proud of him. Teasing was always the best route to go by.
"Just-Oh God Blaine, please!" Kurt shrieked, as there was a rustle of movement. "Stop tickling me, and I'll give you your phone back, I swear!"
David and Wes groaned disappointedly loudly from the hallway, moving away from the door. They pounded the walls in frustration. So there weren't any sexy times underway. The two boys in the room automatically stopped talking.
"Kurt, that sounded an awful lot like Wes and David." Blaine said loudly, making sure both of his friends heard. Kurt moaned in frustration.
"They're so annoying!" Wes and David looked at each other with mock-hurt etched onto their faces as the door opened. Blaine was standing there, glaring at them.
"Blaine, old buddy, old pal." David smirked, walking into his room, and plopping himself down onto his bed. Wes followed him, avoiding Blaine's accusing stare. He had repeatedly told them to but out of his nonexistent relationship with Kurt. The poor boy didn't need a boyfriend right now, not after being harassed by Karofsky. No, he meant to remain a mentor. He had to, for the sake of their friendship.
"May I ask why you were spying on us?" Kurt snapped, standing up from where he was sprawled out on the floor. Blaine had clearly just recently tackled him.
"We were gonna play video games, but we heard you and Blaine making gay babies so naturally-" He stopped when Kurt flushed deeply, giving him a glare that very clearly said, 'if-you-say-anything-like-that-ever-again-I-will-tell-your-girlfriend-you-think-Johnny-Depp-is-hot.'
"What he means to say is-" David tried to backtrack, smiling a fake, innocent smile.
" I. Don't. Care." Blaine muttered from the other side of the room, walking back over to Kurt. He reached out his hand, and Kurt cracked a smile when he handed him his Iphone back.
Blaine then turned to his two friends (No, former friends, as of now.) and frowned. "I'm not even going to talk about this anymore." Wes tried to say something, but Blaine interrupted him. "Let's just not mention this again Wesley."
"If you insist." He smiled, also moving to sit down on David's bed. They both grinned Cheshire-cat smiles at the very flustered Kurt who was now sitting himself onto an armchair awkwardly.
"What are you looking at?" He snapped.
"You blushing. It's cute." David said. He could have sworn Blaine's eyes twinkled just a bit before he began to yell at them.
"Just because we're both gay...We're just friends-You guys need to stop." He stammered, sitting down at the computer desk and taking out his laptop.
"I should go." Kurt cleared his throat, standing up. Wes and David pouted, but Blaine was thrilled. Things got much too embarrassing with all four of them around each other at once.
"Text me later, okay?" He smiled, standing up and walking towards him. Kurt nodded.
"Sure. Don't forget, movie marathon next weekend." They pulled each other in for a tight hug. Wes coughed obnoxiously.
"You never hug us like that Blaine...I wonder why." David chuckled darkly at this comment, high fiving his friend. Much to their disappointment, Blaine was unaffected.
"That is because I don't like either of you." He said, releasing his pale friend. Kurt whispered something into his ear before turning to leave the room. They both giggled, staring at Wes and David. The second Kurt shut the door they burst into animated chatter.
"What did he say?" David hollered. "Was it hot?"
"It better have been him asking you out. Honestly if I have to listen to you talk about how absolutelyfreakingblue his eyes are one more time, I'm going to kill baby animals." Wes spat, angered.
"Why do you care so much?" Blaine yelled, locking the door.
"Because we are annoyed." David whined. He made to pull out his hair, only to remember he had none.
"Kurt and I are just friends, and you're making it increasingly awkward." Blaine frowned, leaning up against the wall.
"Yeah, just friends." Wes snorted. "We are all sick of the longing looks, the flirty conversations...And what's with the tickling? I feel like I'm in a Nicolas Sparks novel." David shot him a surprised look.
"Oh, have you read 'The Notebook?' This is just like the notebook!" He clapped his hands together.
"No it's not." Wes raised a confused eyebrow.
"Okay, listen!" Blaine almost screamed, fighting to keep his voice under control. "Kurt needs a friend right now. After being...assaulted," He spat the word, "he wouldn't want somebody coming on to him. Would you? It would be completely inappropriate."
"If I was as scarred as you keep trying to convince us Kurt is, I would want some hot loving to get my mind off of it." David answered, winking suggestively. Blaine groaned, falling onto his bed.
"Kurt doesn't even like me." He mumbled, running his hands through his curly mane. He always did whenever he was stressed. For once, Wes and David could only stutter.
"AHA!" They yelled finally.
"So you admit it-"
"I always knew you liked him-"
"-Lustful fantasies involving a certain porcelain boy-"
"Can you stop?" He begged, furrowing his eyebrows. "I don't want to ruin anything. I was doing just fine until you two decided to try to mess it up for me."
"Kurt likes you. YOU MORON." Wes screamed, flailing his hands. Blaine was not cheered up by this in the least. Of course they were lying.
"No he doesn't, I can see that. How many times has he told you guys we're just friends?" Blaine mumbled into his pillow. David sighed.
"You say the same things. Trust us man, Kurt wants into your pants." They both nodded fiercely, despite the fact that Blaine wasn't looking at them.
"The sexual tension is at a peak around you two." David winked.
"He's always on about your stupid eyes." Wes grimaced, and raised his voice about two octaves, mocking Kurt. "Oh they're the prettiest hazel. There's this fleck of green, and oh my, they are so dreamy and smoldering!"
"His hair, I just want to run my hands through those curls-" David cut in, also imitating their friend. This seemed to get Blaine's attention.
"He said that?" He asked, frown easing up just a little.
"Oh he's worse than you are." Wes said, waving a dismissive hand. Blaine stood up from his bed.
"Where you going?" David asked in a sing-song voice. Blaine squared his shoulders and opened the door.
"I need to talk to Kurt." He whispered, voice breaking. Wes stood up, and jumped in celebration.
"WE DID IT! WE DID IT!" He hollered, pulling David up to happy dance.
"I'd like to thank the academy, and my mother, but most of all, Markus Wesley, for being here...for the entire ride!" David pretended to sob, shaking with laughter.
"I'm only going to tell him how I feel, and make sure he knows that I do not expect him to respond. I just need him to know." Blaine said sadly. "He's probably not even going to want to talk-"
"Oh shut up and go!" Wes smiled, getting up to lock Blaine out of his own room. The two friends smiled at each other triumphantly. They had done it.
"Wait what if Kurt doesn't like him back?" David said suddenly, aghast.
"Don't be stupid." Wes giggled nervously. His gris faltered slightly. "He does, obviously."
"Maybe we shouldn't have made up those comments about Kurt loving his hair..." He grimaced. "Whatever, Blaine's revealing his true feelings. I'm feeling accomplished." David bent down onto his knees, and crawled over to his beloved Xbox 360 to turn it on.
"Halo, not Call of Duty!" Wes insisted, catching on. "Nothing like killing aliens to distract you from the fact that you may have just ruined your best friends life."
"Righto, good friend." David nodded solemnly. But they had nothing to fear. For Blaine would return an hour later, looking very flustered, and muttering something along the lines of, 'so maybe you guys were right.'
Why was he so surprised? Wes and David were always right. Mostly. Sometimes. Every now and then...
A/N: I don't even like this, but I HAD to write it. You have no idea, my plot bunny was devouring my brain. Thanks for reading! Care to drop off a review? They make my day...So erm, if you're interested in making me smile, be sure to comment your love. Or hate. Anything really.
LET THERE BE KLAINE!