Hokay guys, so I know it's been a REALLY long time since you've gotten a new piece from me, but things in my life are looking better, I'm getting older and I'll be graduating next year, so I'd just like to start writing again. I may or may not get to complex stories but in the mean time, I hope you enjoy a few one-shots by me C:
This one's going to be a cutsie one featuring me and my friend Shane [he is asian, Chinese to be exact] as innocent bystanders to Naruto, Sakura, and Sasukes usual antics. This is OF COURSE sasusaku fic with some added humor. Please enjoy.
* And pay attention to any words with brackets next to them with a number inside. The word's meaning will be explained at the end of the story.
"Naruto why can't you close your mouth when you eat? It's such bad manners." Sakura complained. Naruto was a pig when he ate. Lapping up his ramen like a pig eating from a trough. It was utterly repulsive.
"Mmmunm- but Sakuraaaaaa it's so good- mmmunummm." Naruto spit as he slurped up his ramen. Honestly, the boy was born with no parents to teach him how to behave. So you couldn't really blame him, in a way it was cute.
Naruto and Sakura had been best friends since pre-K. They were inseparable and often liked to take visits to the local ramen shop for lunch. As usual, poor Sakura was stuck with the bill, but she too was beginning to run a little low on cash. I'm sure you would too if you constantly had to feed a beast like Naruto.
"Naruto I don't have enough to cover it this time…" Sakura said grimly.
"Aww that's okay Sakura-chan, I'm sure someone here will be nice enough to lend us a little." Naruto always seemed to have a backup plan. But maybe today… just wasn't his day.
"Excuse me sir! Me and the misses seem to be a little short on cash, could you spot us a little?" Naruto using manners? What was this? April Fool's? Nah, Naruto only used manners when there was incentive. And his incentive was not getting arrested for jipping the Ramen cook.
Shane and I were the best of friends. We often bickered like an old married couple, but it was all in good fun. Playful banter I believe it's called. Now Shane was not stingy, and he had a good heart, but when I came to helping strangers, he was a little… difficult.
"Aww it's no problem hun, I'm sure we can help you out isn't that right Shane?" I asked nicely. It didn't hurt to add on a little extra sweetness to soften him up.
"Hmph. I ain't no public bank mr. Go find some other way to pay for your meal. Are you done Ash?" He replied rudely. God he was so pigheaded sometimes.
"Shane just give him some money, be a good Samaritan. It wouldn't kill yah to be nice to people you know. Maybe if you weren't such a bastard more people would like you, other than me." I snapped. Honestly, the nerve of him to be so impolite. Didn't his mother teach him any manners? He was no better than the slob that was asking for the money. People these days, tch.
"I'm not a bastard! You evil little demon!"
"Well you could've fooled me Mr. Ice Cube. Heaven forbid you showed someone a little kindness!"
"I'm showing you both kindness right now by not dropping a bomb in here cause I gotta fart so bad!"
"…" Naruto was awestruck watching us bicker. He was reminded of Sakura and him from it.
"… You are so disgusting." I replied with a wry look on my face that clearly displayed my discontent. He'd said that on purpose just to scare off the poor boy that was only asking for a little help.
"Here hun, I'm sure I've got something in this bag for you." I dug through my purse to find my wallet and pulled out 5 dollars to hand to Naruto.
"No no I'm not going to let you do that. Here kid.." Shane sighed as he pulled out his wallet and went to hand Naruto some cash. "Just try not to make a habit of going to restaurants and not bringing enough cash." He advised.
"WHAT WAS THAT? YOU WERE A RUDE LITTLE BASTARD FOR ALMOST 20 MINUTES WHEN YOU JUST SO EASILY GIVE HIM THE MONEY NOW? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU BIPOLAR MORON!" I snapped obnoxiously and banged my hands on the table spilling a little of Shane's ramen.
"ME? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S COMPLETELY PSYCHO GUAI LO! YOU JUST SNAPPED LIKE A FRICKEN CRAZY WOMAN YOU CRACKHEAD!"
"I SNAPPED BECAUSE YOU'RE COMPLETELY MENTAL YOU BLOODY BASTARD! YOU MADE A HUGE RUCKUS ABOUT A FEW MEASLEY DOLLARS BUT AS SOON AS I TRY TO HELP YOU HAVE TO JUMP IN AND STEAL MY GLORY. YOU'RE SUCH AN ATTENTION WHORE. I HATE YOU."
"You know you love me. Now shut up woman you're giving me a headache." He cooly sat down and went back to his ramen.
"And don't call me names in Chinese. Little fgt." I hissed as I planted my butt back in my seat and seethed out the window.
Shane and I's bickering disturbed Sakura and Naruto quite a bit. But Sakura's distracted arrived in a neat, clean, and sexy package as it stepped into the ramen shop.
"Sasuke-kun you made it!" She beamed as she glomped him and showered him with kisses. Sasuke laughed and ruffled her hair playfully as he softly met her lips and greeted her with a sweet, gentle kiss.
"Of course I made it silly girl, you think I'd stand up the love of my life?" He sent her a heart-stopping smirk that sent chills up her spine.
"Me and Sakura successfully conned those two kids over there to pay for our lunch! BELIEVE IT!" Naruto fist pumped like a champ as he obnoxiously blurted out his signature catch phrase.
"Conned? MY Sakura, my innocent flower has conned someone?" Sasuke feigned shock and then laughed wholeheartedly.
"Correction, YOU conned those two poor kids, and you made them get into an argument. Fricken idiot." Sakura snapped as she sent him shifty daggers with her eyes.
"Nice goin dobe. You know I would've paid for lunch, well at least Sakura-hime's lunch." Sasuke sent Naruto a smug look as he smirked and kissed Sakura's head softly.
"Oh stick it up your butt teme." Naruto huffed as he crossed his arms and the three of them left the ramen shop.
Okay so I know I ended up putting a little more me and Shane in there than I probably should have, but it's probably because he was messaging me on MSN while I was writing this. But I still hope you all enjoyed it and there's more where that came from as soon as I can. Now here's your definitions for those hidden words:
- Guai Lo: this is a word in Chinese that Shane constantly calls me when we argue. It means white devil. Lol stupid right? Well he is stupid but oh well. I guess we're stupid together :D!
- Fgt: it's a shorthand version of faggot that my other best friend Mandie and I made up. It sounds funny when you say it like that, and it's what I call Shane in arguments since he calls me Guai Lo.
- Hime: Just in case there are readers out there that aren't sure of what the hime is, it's princess in Japanese.
I hope you all enjoyed the story. Shane was very glad to be a part of this since he really is an attention whore.