A/N: Lately, I've been thinking about Kuroshitsuji and my need to practice writing M-rated fics, so I thought. . . Why not?

Disclaimer: I only own the unknown characters; Teresa Fiddlewitch and Alice Kingsleigh.

Warning: OCs, possible OoC-ness, some sexual hints, language, possible cliché-ness


Caught Dead; Prologue


She read a note she got from her;

"I'd rather be caught dead on Christmas Day than spend a day alone with him.

I'd rather stab myself a thousand times to death than to dance with him.

I'd rather be shot to death than to be arm-in-arm with him.

I'd rather be ripped limb-from-limb than to look for him.

I'd rather kill myself than to actually kiss him, or just be extremely close to him. . ."

'Yes, the list does go on. . .' Alice thought to herself before saying, "But, Teresa, do you really hate him that much?" A question that always peaked her interest.

"Your Majesty, if you were to order me to kill him, I will not hesitate to do so." She replied in monotone, still staring out of the window.

"Why would I want to?" She heard her grumble in anger.

"Because," She turned to look at her light blue-eyed, blonde, short-haired mistress, dark blue eyes glimmering with hatred, "He deserves to. He has annoyed me for too long; doesn't he know the concept of personal space, or the concept of 'don't touch a lady unless she told you to', or even the concept of solitude?" Her eyes showed a demonic red for a second.

"W-well, he doesn't look that annoying, even if he's with us." Alice asked, cautious of Teresa's current mood.

"Annoying? Your Majesty, he only seems that way, but in fact, he is one of the most irritating beings I've met."

"Irritating? Well, from my observation," She giggled, which caused Teresa to raise an eyebrow at her, "You two seem to look like a couple or something." She waited for her reaction.

Shock, the murderous type of shock was planted on her face. "L-Lady Alice? How in the bloody hell could you think of that?"

"Well, he does seem like the perfect match for you. . ." She saw Teresa's eye twitch with utter disgust.

"P-perfect? M-match? How in the whole world could you say that?"

"Polar opposites, other than being demonic butlers, you are both polar opposites. And as they say, opposites attract." She said factually.

"Opposites attract? Who told you tha—"

"Plus, he has this fetish for cats." She saw her go pale, pale as the full moon, contrasting her short, black hair.

"C-cats, milady? You mean, like—" She asked unlike the Teresa she knew, she asked fearfully.

"Yes, Teresa, like wild cats, domestic cats, and I didn't forget cat demons like you too." She smiled at her brightly, watching her face go from shock to total horror.


A/N: Remember how demons in Kuroshitsuji are based on animals, or something? Like Sebastian's the Raven butler, Cluade's the Spider butler; since both are taken, I settled for the fourth best thing, cats, since a bat—vampire—is too out of place in the Kuroshitsuji world. Read and review!