I've had the idea for this for a while now, but I haven't had a chance to write this out…
To clarify, this is part what I hope the manga ends like, part anime season one ending and part AU, so there will be references to both. I am sorry for any spoilers, especially for the anime. Oh, and in here Ciel is 16 and the story is told through his point of view. First person present tense narrative is hard!
Warnings: Yaoi, language, a bit of violence…
Disclaimer: The amazing Kuroshitsuji series belongs to the amazing Yana Toboso.
This is it. The day I have always dreamed of. The day I have more recently come to dread. The day I complete my revenge.
"Sebastian, have you tracked the last of them down?" I ask, reclining at my desk, absentmindedly drawing on what looked like on an important document.
"Yes. I have just killed the ones who set your house on fire and killed your parents, and the last three members of the cult that tried to put an end to the Phantomhives have been captured. They are currently bound, gagged and lying unconscious in our cellar."
"Good. Kill them." I wrinkle my nose in distaste. My drawing has come to look a little too much like Sebastian. I quickly scribble it out.
"Yes, my lord," Sebastian replies with a bow, and turns to leave, but I suddenly wake out of my stupor and jump out of my chair.
"Wait." Sebastian stops, turns around and stares at me.
"Is there something wrong, Bocchan?" he asks.
"Let me kill them."
His eyes widen in surprise for a heartbeat, but he quickly shrugs it off and puts on an easy smile. His eyes flash, showing slight traces of demonic aura swirling in their depths. But he just simply bows again.
"Yes, my lord," he repeats.
I suppose I do not go down to our cellar very often. That is what servants are for. But nevertheless, I have no trouble finding my way. This is my mansion, after all. Sebastian follows me quietly, holding a candlestick, our only source of light. I still have to squint in the darkness, but even I know the three scrawny shapes in front of me are my former kidnappers. They look like they have had a hard time over the last six years. Like they know what a hard time is.
Nobody but the souls of all those other children knows what it was like to be captured, branded and stripped of all dignity. I am the only one still alive to even tell the tale, to keep the memory alive. But even my soul is already condemned. I know I will not be alive much longer; the only reason I even am alive is to get my revenge on the evil souls that dared to disgrace Ciel Phantomhive.
And all this is only thanks to the demon that decided to form a contract with me, and in return, gets to devour my soul once my wish is fulfilled.
Now I am staring at the last three disgusting cretins that participated in the event of kidnapping, enslaving and killing children. One twitches. They must be starting to regain consciousness. I should fix that.
I walk slowly and deliberately up to Sebastian. I have grown over the past few years; I am now able to look my butler in the face without having to look upwards. He is still taller than me, but not by much now. Somehow, this gives me some strange satisfaction. I remove my eye patch and gaze into those intense crimson orbs.
"Sebastian. My gun."
He hands it to me, and I turn back towards the bound people lying on the floor of my cellar. I raise the gun and squeeze the trigger.
The bullet flies at one of the bodies and blood immediately sprays the surrounding areas. I do not flinch, for blood that is not my own does not bother me. I turn to the other two. I repeat the process.
My shots hit their mark. All three of them now have had a bullet to the chest. Even if the gunshots were not fatal immediately, I will leave them to bleed to death. I have no intention of giving them a quick and easy death. Fortunately for them, it seems like they did get a quick and easy death.
Suddenly, it dawns on me what I have just done. I just killed the last three people of that black cult. Everyone I have ever hated is either dead or jailed. I have completed my revenge…
"Bocchan!" Sebastian is suddenly by my side, steadying me, for I did not realize that I had fallen over, and the world had started to spin.
"I killed them. It's over," I whisper, before collapsing entirely into Sebastian's strong arms. My arms and legs feel like all the bones in then have disintegrated.
I am only vaguely aware of Sebastian carrying me up the stairs and through the mansion.
"Oh no, what happened?"
"Mr. Sebastian, is he okay?"
"Did he pass out!"
Bard, Finny and Maylene offer their concerns and attempts to help, but Sebastian merely smiles at them (or at least, I think he did…) and politely assures them I am fine. Which I am not.
"He was just tired. I will take Bocchan to bed. Please go back to your tasks."
Tired? I have long since past the days when I whined to be carried just because I was tired. My arms and legs start to regain some of their feeling. I attempt to squirm out of Sebastian's arms, but he just grips me tighter. Aren't I too old for this? Too tall? How can that butler carry around a 16-year-old boy like it was the most ordinary activity in the world and not seem to care?
"Sebastian. Put me down," I command. Sebastian puts me down on the spot, which, to be honest, I did not expect. Lately, it seems that he loves to twist around my words to get his own way more than ever. "Um… Thank you…" I gather myself as best I can, even though I still feel a bit weak. Then I realize I'm right outside my room. I should have known.
"Shall I prepare you a bath? Or would you prefer to lie down for a bit?" Sebastian asks nonchalantly, opening the door and ushering me into my room. This snaps me out of my haze.
I slam the door of my room loudly and roughly push Sebastian over onto the bed. This catches him off guard, causing him to stumble. "B-bocchan?" he manages to squeak, the surprise evident in his face. I'm not saying that this is… the first of its kind to happen, but usually I do not initiate.
"Why. Are. You. Asking. Me. Such. Stupid. Questions." I snarl, enunciating each word precisely.
"I am merely doing my duty as your faithful butler," he replies, still obviously confused at my actions.
"Do you intend to take my soul or not?" I ask, strutting over to him leisurely, narrowing my eyes. Realization finally dawns in his. The demonic aura is back, and he stands up, appearing to loom over me, even though I know that our height difference has diminished greatly over the past few years.
His demonic aura seems to grow. "Of course I intend to take your soul. Do you really think I would just do it here and now, in your own mansion and right under the noses of your other servants? What kind of butler do you take me for?"
I am only able to nod quietly, silent whimpers escaping from my throat. I am not sure whether to be angry, frightened, relieved or all three. I always thought the deal was that he would eat my soul the moment I completed my revenge. But I suppose that it is only logical that he would take me far away from prying eyes and allow me to take care of all my business and affairs and such. And I suppose I am a little fearful of what will happen to my soul. The thought of Lizzie showing up one day to an empty Phantomhive manor and erupting into tears enters my mind. I quickly shake my head to dispel the image, as I know she will cry no matter what happens to me.
But the strangest thing happens… I break down. The image I have built for myself since first meeting Sebastian crumbles. This is downright fucking humiliating. The frozen-hearted Earl Phantomhive, sobbing uncontrollably in front of his servant. It hits me hard how many people I have come to know, and how many people might be affected when I am gone. But I know that my soul is condemned to be a meal for Sebastian no matter what, for a demon will not take pity on his dinner's friends and family, if you can even call them that.
Sebastian pulls me into a hug, something I would normally never let him do, but by this point 'normal' does not even come close to describing my situation. "Shhh…There is no need to be afraid," he murmurs softly, stroking my hair. I attempt to reply, but another sob wracks my body. Sebastian just holds me and continues to pet my head as if I were one of those stupid cats that he loves. After a few minutes, my eyes run dry, as if they are not used to crying for so long. And if you think about it, maybe I really am too callous to be able to cry for any long amount of time.
"I'm not afraid…" I whisper, clutching Sebastian's shirt. I have probably already ruined it enough with my tears, but I do not care.
"You do not fear death?" he asks, a smile creeping across his face. I shake my head determinedly.
"I fear nothing," I reply without hesitation. Apparently this does not convince him. He pushes me off of him and onto my back, and hovers over me, eyes practically glowing.
"That is not true. Humans are not above fear, they all have their secret terrors, even the most valiant hero." His demonic aura is so strong I can practically feel the essence of hell overwhelming me. I chance a glimpse at his face. It is surprisingly calm, not at all like how I feel.
I am not sure how or when, but our lips suddenly meet. I could play this off as if I am not thinking straight and am confused and scared, but that would be dishonest. I do it because I want to. I have nothing left, and come death, my soul will go to neither Heaven nor Hell. What have I got to lose? Go ahead, say I will be forever damned to be kissing my male butler. But my soul will become that male butler's next meal. To hell with morales.
Sebastian gently pries open my mouth with his tongue. God, he is amazing. But what else do you expect from a Phantomhive butler? I just let him do what he wants, feeling shivers run down my back. I may as well enjoy this, for I do not think death holds this sort of pleasure. My jacket is slipped off and my shirt is currently being unbuttoned. His hands (..where did his gloves go? And his shirt?) slide over my chest, and another small whimper escapes my lips.
"Why? Why... do you... put up with me... like this?" I ask quietly between gasps. He stops for a moment and looks at me.
"Put up with you? Do you really think I do not care for you?"All I can do is nod quietly. He traces my face with a slender finger. "I do care for you. Yes, I intend to devour your soul, as you are the most pure, delicious and twisted soul I have come across in centuries-no-millenia. But I never said that's all you are to me."
He crushes his lips against mine again, and my fingers tangle in his hair. He works his way down my neck, pausing to lick or bite every few inches. As he reaches further down my abdomen, I suddenly pull away.
"No?" Sebastian looks at me inquisitively. Even though I really do wish for him to continue, I suppress my desires and sit up and face him.
"No. I am not ready, and I never will be, seeing as I will die soon. But as Ciel Phantomhive, I still have some dignity to maintain, even until the very end." This seems to surprise him, but he smiles at me anyway.
"Yes, my lord." He makes to get up, but I pull him back down. "Changed your mind so soon?" I hear more than see his smirk.
"No. But, Sebastian... will you just... lie here with me for a while? I don't want to be alone right now..." I do not meet his eyes and am probably blushing. I do not care.
"Of course, Bocchan." He settles back down and pulls me close, stroking my hair again. I snuggle closer to his chest and close my eyes. After what could have been a second or a century, I drift to sleep.
It is exactly 5 o' clock PM the next day. Sebastian has already taken care of most things already. He has left the mansion in the servants care and told them I will never return. He also told them not to look for either of us, as their searches will be in vain. I do not think they believe us, though, and will probably go looking anyway. Soft-hearted fools.
The Funtom Company will be left with Tanaka to deal with, but the branches will probably break off into their own companies depending on the country. As for Lizzie and her family, Soma and Agni, Lau, Undertaker, Snake, any of the shinigami and whoever else I have met and liked enough not to kill, I suppose they will assume I died, which is true for the most part. Just not in the way they think.
I hope nobody cries for me; I do not deserve it. But I suppose that someone somewhere will shed tears for me. Probably Lizzie. I wonder if Sebastian will be at all sad once I am gone, but I doubt it. To be free of their master, is that not every servant's dream?
"Bocchan. It is time." Sebastian helps me into my coat for the last time, and takes me to the carriage. I wordlessly climb in and stare out the window. Sebastian goes around to the front to drive the carriage. I almost wish he could sit back here with me, but I know that nobody must know where he is taking me.
The ride is uneventful, it seems like I am just going on a business trip to London or someplace ordinary. But I know better. The carriage turns down an unfamiliar road, but I am not interested in the surroundings. I do not recall falling asleep, but when I awaken, the carriage has stopped and we are by the sea. A lone rowboat sits in the water, which is fairly calm tonight. The moon shines brightly overhead, illuminating the area and casting an eerie glow over the land. How cliché.
Sebastian helps me climb into the boat, which is ornately decorated in black and lined with black silk cushions. Looks like I will die in style.
I feel like I should be saying something, the last words of Ciel Phantomhive that will be preserved forever or whatever idiocy you read about heroes in literature. But I am no hero, and the only one who will hear my last words is the one who will be responsible for my death.
As if reading my mind, Sebastian says, "My, Bocchan. Why so quiet tonight?"
"I'm going to die. What is there to say? Why, do you want me to say something?" My words come out harsher than I mean them, but Sebastian is unfazed.
"Fine then. We are nearly there, anyway."
For the first time that night, I realize we are approaching a dark island. By the looks of it, it seems uninhabited. The stone buildings (what's left of them) are crumbling and the entire island looks overgrown with trees and shrubs. We, or rather, Sebastian rows around to a beach area and scoops me up and carries me up a dark path, deeper and deeper into the island. I do not protest, this actually feels rather natural, as if he is meant to carry me up to some forbidden area and take my soul there.
We reach our destination, what looks like it once was an ornate altar. He sets me down and bows down for the final time in my life.
"Yes, my lord," he says, even though I did not order him to do anything. "Are you ready?"
"Yes." I will not cry. I will not show fear. I feel like I am going to pass out.
"This should not hurt... too much," he tells me, smiling sadly.
"Make it painful. I want you to make it feel like my soul really is going Hell," I reply boldly. He chuckles.
"Pain is not something I can control. Yes, you will fill pain, but not the physical type that you think you will feel." I shudder involuntarily. "Are you afraid now?" he asks.
I look up. "No. Take my soul, for it is yours."
It happens all in slow-motion. Sebastian moves in as if he is going to kiss me, bringing his face closer to mine. To my surprise, he actually does press his lips against mine. But then he actually starts to eat my soul.
He still has our lips together, but everything happens internally. I feel like his soul is reaching down my throat and tearing my soul from my worldy body. Physically, I feel nothing. But the spiritual pain is like nothing I have ever felt. It is indescribable. Emotions course through me: anger, fear, happiness, depression, jealousy, apprehension and everything imaginable all at once. The blood is pounding in my ears and my brain feels like it is going to explode. I want to cry out, but Sebastian is gripping my head, forcing our faces together in an unbreakable hold. The world starts to spin, faster and faster and faster and suddenly-
Ciel Phantomhive's soul was devoured by the demon Sebastian Michaelis.
SOO? What did you think? I actually really enjoyed writing this. I do hope I was doing a fairly accurate Ciel personality. :/ Anyway, please review! And I promise I will update Alternate Scythes soon! Oh, and one more thing. Would anyone like to see an epilogue? I have an idea, but I'm not sure if I want to post it.