Hey Baby, I Think I Wanna Marry You
"It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do..."
"I think I wanna marry you."
It came out so unexpectedly that it made Kanda choke by his own saliva. And he said it so casually that Kanda wondered if he was being serious or just plain mischievous—as Lavi had always been.
He looked at the taller man beside him who was bold enough to say such words. His red hair was messy and was not held up by a bandana like most times. His clothes were wrinkled as he never did bother to iron them, beads hanging loosely from its side while a proud silver symbol of the Black Order shone on the chest part.
Kanda could only frown at him; he wasn't even fucking looking at him when he said that. With much confusion, he almost tripped on a bump on the road when the redhead skillfully caught his arm by instinct.
"So?" Lavi asked as they continued walking on the streets of London, initially headed for a mission. "What do ya say?"
"You're being ridiculous." Kanda scoffed, trying his best to remain cool.
"I really think we should get married." Lavi said unperturbedly.
Kanda raised an eyebrow, "And why the hell should we do that?"
"Because we've been together for so long and I can't possibly imagine my life without you." He replied, shrugging. "So? How about it?"
Lavi frowned at the other man's reply. Although he had already expected that this would happen.
"Why the hell not?"
"Because…" Kanda paused, stuttering as he continued. He averted his gaze. "I-It's unnatural!"
"There's nothing more natural than getting married."
"Well, fine, go ahead and get ourselves fucking imprisoned for sodomy."
"I don't care!" Lavi shouted, loud enough for the people to hear. "I love you!" Kanda quickly kicked him on the shins. "Ow!"
"Damn it, what's with you all of a sudden?" Kanda asked. Frustration was growing in his voice. The poor man pursed his lips together and his eyebrows curved into a slight convex. "W-What's gotten into you?"
"It just came into mind, okay? I mean, it's a beautiful night out here and I'm here walking with you and I… I guess I was just looking for something dumb to do." Lavi said with a truthful, wide smile.
"So you think the whole thing is dumb?" Kanda looked at him disapprovingly and raised a brow.
"N-No! I don't mean that! What I mean is; marriage is suppose to be fun! I-It should be between people who are in love—regardless of their gender. It isn't suppose to be formal or serious and all. It shouldn't be exclusively for men and women, either. And I… love you enough to make me want to do that with you."
Kanda's eyes widened as his mouth dried up of words to say.
Lavi continued, "And I couldn't simply be satisfied if I can't do that with you."
To be honest, Lavi had no idea why the proposal came into his mind. He didn't know but maybe it was the look in Kanda's blue eyes. They looked so beautiful, more than ever at that moment where they were just there, walking on the cobbled streets of England as the orange luminous glows from shops and gas street lights gave more meaning to the cerulean eyes. Or maybe it was because they had too much to drink earlier at the Order during Komui's party. He had always been fond of mixing ginger ale with rum. But intoxicated or not, Lavi would still have the right mind to think properly. He had a high tolerance for alcohol, he thought.
Lavi, realizing that Kanda was being pokerfaced, grabbed Kanda by the arm and dragged him through the streets.
"Come on." Was the only words that came out of Lavi's mouth when Kanda protested.
Kanda scowled at him as they were almost hit by a carriage passing the path. "You idiot! W-We're in a middle of a mission! We're suppose to go that way!" he angrily complained as he looked behind him where their original destination slowly disappeared into a horizon.
"I don't care what you say. I wanna marry you." Lavi muttered, his face unimaginably determined as he continued to drag Kanda to wherever he intended to go.
"This is hopeless, Lavi. What you want to do—it's impossible, okay?"
And illegal. But Lavi didn't mind.
He didn't mind whether or not it was allowed, or whether it was even possible. He didn't care that it was the 19th century or that it was against Bookman rules. His face showed sheer determination and his strong willpower almost imbibed on Kanda, that it made him stop himself from discouraging him any further.
Then, he stopped, in the middle of the lane. They both did and Kanda found himself sweating a little.
"Look…" Lavi started with a smile, still grasping Kanda's left arm, "There's this little chapel, right by the boulevard just now. I know this guy, he's from the Order. We're pretty tight buddies. I saved him from akuma a few months back so owes me a fucking lot." Lavi paused when he saw the uncertainty and hesitation on Kanda's face.
"What if someone—"
"No one will know! No one should have to! This could be just between the two of us!" Lavi cut off breathlessly, and held both Kanda's hands. "Come on, will you marry me?"
Lavi said it quietly, to catch less attention from the crowd. Kanda couldn't find anything to say. Though he immediately had the answer to his proposal, he was torn on how to say it. He wasn't good with words and his arrogance prevented him from mustering any phrases that would work.
"I-I…" Kanda stuttered. His face had reddened but he would probably just blame the weather. "I... W-We look stupid!"
Lavi could only let out a chuckle. He was adorable, the redhead thought. "Who cares if we look trashed? We're gonna get married, drink, party and have fun."
"I don't…" Kanda, again, began to stammer. His face was all red now as his eyes unconsciously avoided Lavi's and he couldn't seem to think properly; an expression of hesitation mixed with embarrassment.
"Just say yes, Yu. That's all I need to hear."
"Y-Y-Ye…" Kanda spoke in a low voice. "Y-Y-You're an asshole, you know that?"
"Maybe. But at least I'm an asshole who wants to marry you."
"Fuck, fine, alright? Do what you want." Lavi's vivid green eye shone even more vividly when he heard Kanda's words.
"Then, it's settled!" Lavi burst out, looking like the happiest man alive, making a few from the crowd look at the odd couple.
A few disputes and another series of dragging later, they stopped in front of a rather modest chapel. It was cute, in a way. Lavi made no hesitation to push the large wooden doors and went inside. The door made a loud creaking noise that it instantly startled the man inside the building.
"Who's there?" a man with a deep voice asked as he approached Lavi,
"Hey man, it's Lavi!"
"Lavi? I haven't seen you in a while!" As the man approached them, Kanda began to scrutinize the man. He was middle-aged, probably in his forties, had a thin stubble as a beard and was a little plump. "What brings you here?"
"We want to get married!" Lavi replied, grinning rather widely. He then looked at Kanda who looked mortified, "Yu, this is Father Harrison. He's the guy I'm talking about."
"Oh, good evening." The old man greeted, presumably still unaware that Kanda was a man. "But Lavi, are you sure about this? I mean, you two are still very young!"
"Hell yeah we are." Lavi said with no signs of indecision,
"Well! Introduce me to your soon-to-be-wife, then!" he said eagerly.
It was then Lavi and Kanda stiffened and prepared for the worst.
"You see…" Lavi spoke, "The thing is… Yu, here, is not, uh… ya know, a wife."
"Oh, sweet baby Jesus," the priest cried out, his face suddenly paled. "Lavi, you know this is—"
"I know, I know. It's against the law. But we love each other! That's enough right?"
The priest sighed, "Well… that's—"
"I saved your life. Twice. You owe me big time, Father."
The priest then sighed the second time, out of resignation. He didn't know whether that was a threat or a favor.
The chapel was soon lit with candles, courtesy of a small, tan man named Will, the chapel's caretaker, who also was the only guest at their wedding. The priest stood in front of the altar, his robes on and a bible in hand. Lavi and Kanda faced each other by the priest. Although the mood was rather romantic, Kanda's frequent cursing and complaining kind of killed the moment.
"We are gathered here today on this beautiful night to share with Lavi and Yu—"
"Kanda." He corrected.
"—and Kanda as they exchange vows of their everlasting—"
"Vows? You didn't say anything about vows!" Kanda's eyes widened in anxiety as his face heated up. He was nervous even though there were no crowds or anything that can be nervous about. There were only four people in the room—and that includes Will, the chapel's caretaker.
"Yu, all marriages include vows. It's self-explanatory!"
"How the fuck am I suppose to know how a wedding works?"
The priest looked at them both, his eyes narrowed. They were bickering like a married couple already that he had second thoughts if they ever need to be married.
"Okay, you silly kids. Just shut up and let me do the talking, alright?" Father said, a little bit of displeasure in his tone. He was already scared of being imprisoned for marrying two men, how can he not be stressed out? Lavi and Kanda instantly grew silent "Alright, now let me continue. No interruptions, please."
Both of them nodded.
"…as they exchange vows of their everlasting love. The vows you are about to exchange, will serve as a verbal representation of the non-verbal emotions that are as real as anything that can be seen, heard or touched. For it is not the words that you will speak today that will bond you together as one—but the strength of the love and commitment found deep within your souls."
There was a pause.
"You're supposed to say your vows now."
"Oh." The redhead murmured, "Oh! Right!" Lavi pursed his lips to get ready. The priest just rubbed his wrinkled forehead out of exasperation. Lavi faked a cough and put on his game face. "Do you, Kanda Yu, take me, the awesome Lavi, to be your husband?"
Then he stopped.
"Damn, that sounds weird. Let me try again."
"You fucking idiot, just go on with it." Kanda rushed, signs of irritation plastered on his features. They still had a mission, after all—which Kanda was starting to think that Lavi had no intention of going.
"I'll just say things up as I go." Lavi cleared his throat again and exhaled before continuing. "Yu, I never thought I'd love anyone this much. I never even thought I would want to marry anyone. I know my proposal twenty minutes ago was sudden."
"Too sudden." Kanda emphasized.
"Fine, too sudden, but I just want to be with you, that's all. You know, ever since I met you, I always thought you were bad-tempered, unfriendly, foul-mouthed—"
"What?" Kanda interrupted.
"Just sayin' the truth, babe."
"I don't ever remember you saying vows have to be like that."
"You don't even know what a vow is!"
"Christ! When do you stop being so fucking annoying?"
The priest exhaled deeply. "Kids, calm down." He was getting tired of the bickering and tried to stop himself from giving out a lecture about not saying the Lord's name in vain.
Lavi ignored him. "Look who's talking? Maybe you can try controlling your temper from time to time."
"It's because you always annoy me!"
"That's 'cause—look, just let me finish my vow! Jesus…" Lavi said. There was a small moment of silence until Lavi laughed afterward. Kanda only looked at him, a scowl forming on his lips. "You know ever since I met you, I always thought you were bad-tempered, unfriendly, foul-mouthed—"
Kanda scowled at him further for repeating it.
"But ya know what? I don't care. I love you 'cause you're you! Even if you get in fights with almost all the people in the Order, especially Allen and Lenalee, it's totally alright. And when you're mad, which you always are, I promise I'll kiss you and make your favorite soba! Although I still have to actually learn how to make that. I will even make Jerry teach me when we get home! And… And I'll kill all the spiders in your bedroom because I know you hate them. And if ever there's a time we're on a mission and you're in a pinch, I'll be there. I will force Komui to take me where you are. As long as you're safe, I'm happy. I'll even take a bullet from an akuma for you, and believe me I ain't no parasitic type so I'll probably die instantly. That's because I'll gladly die for you."
Lavi stopped briefly to take a deep breath before laughing softly.
"You're probably the worst person to fall in love with." he then ran through his fingers through his red locks, afterward rubbing his hand sheepishly behind his neck. "But I still fell for you. Really hard."
Then, there was silence. Father Harrison stared at him at awe, amazed that Lavi could even come up with a vow. Even Will (the chapel caretaker) clapped his hands in admiration as the sound echoed through the small halls of the chapel. Kanda, on the other hand, started at him in disbelief. He felt lightheaded, almost queasy, probably caused by his incredibly fast heartbeat. His face was the reddest as it could ever be—due to annoyance or embarrassment, Lavi didn't know.
"Yu?" Lavi shook Kanda's shoulder when he noticed the man was unresponsive, in a gaze. "It's your turn!"
Kanda eyes snapped, falling back to reality. "W-What?"
He opened his dry mouth then closed it again. Avoiding eye contact, he stuttered, "W-What am I s-suppose to say?"
"Anything you want."
"A-Alright." he said, getting ready. "Well, you're fucking annoying."
"A wedding vow, Yu. Not an angry letter."
"I'm not finished." Lavi then threw his hands up in surrender, his features gesturing him to proceed. "You're really annoying and you always follow me around like a goddamn puppy. You pester me all the time and just generally annoy me!"
"This is still an angry letter."
"And when you're gone, you still annoy me!"
"What? How the hell do I do that?"
"Whenever you're not around… y-you always make me think of you! It's frustrating! I worry about you when you're in a mission alone because I know how fucking stupid you are! A-And I hate it when you stress yourself out in the library and… it's just, difficult. Fuck, this whole thing is difficult."
Kanda didn't look at the redhead, perhaps a little too embarrassed. But when he did shift his gaze back at Lavi's, he saw the redhead's eyes glittering with sparkles. And it scared him for many reasons.
"Yu… you really mean that?"
"I… just… just shut up!" he then looked the other way.
Lavi chuckled at the gesture. He looked at the impressed Father, who was getting paler and paler whenever they mention an incoherent word.. "So. What do we do now, Padre?"
"I'll take it from here." The Father said with an everyone-back-the-fuck-up expression. "Well then, now that the vows had been said." He paused for a moment, waiting for Lavi to take Kanda's hand with his which, by the way, Kanda hesitantly accepted. "Do you, Lavi, take this… uh, man, to be your wedded… spouse?"
"Fuck yeah I do."
Then they all stopped. The padre looked at Lavi expectantly while Lavi returned with a face of confusion. The old man slapped his face with his hand. "The rings, Lavi. Tell me you have rings."
Lavi winced for him forgetting. "Shit."
"Idiot." Kanda insulted. "And you call yourself a Bookman?"
"Will!" the Father called out where a foreigner sat on one of the church pews. "Do we have any rings left?"
The caretaker stood up. "I'm afraid not, padre!"
The priest clicked his tongue. Lavi then raised a curious brow. "By the way, what's that guy doing here?"
"He is an illegal immigrant from India. We took him in. The nuns felt bad for him."
"Oh." Lavi nodded, impressed. He snapped back to the problem. They didn't have rings. He suddenly had an idea. "Hey, could my earrings work?"
"Are they big enough?" the priest asked, thinking the idea might work.
"Well…" as he said this, he took off one of his silver earrings. Lavi examined it, Kanda as well, when he confirmed that it was indeed big enough. He took off the remaining one. "Yeah. This'll work."
The old man cleared his throat. "Let's proceed, then. Do you, Lavi, take this man to be your wedded spouse?"
"I already said it once and I ain't afraid of saying it again, yesiree, I do."
Lavi reached for Kanda's hand and put on his silver earring to Kanda's ring finger.
"Do you, Kanda, take this man to be your wedded spouse?"
There was no response.
Lavi looked at Kanda, with green eyes saying that it was going to be alright. "Just say I do, tell me right now."
Kanda looked up at Lavi who stepped closer to him. "I…"
The redhead threw one last reassuring smile at him. And it made Kanda blurt out, "I…I d-d-do." His hands were shaking when he put the earring on Lavi's hand. The redhead flashed him another tender smile, almost laughing as he did so.
"Well, then! By the laws of—uh… the Catholic Church, which we all severely broke this night, and by the power invested in me, I pronounce you husband and… husband. You may kiss the bri—groom."
He leaned toward Kanda slowly and brushed his open mouth against Kanda's closed lips. The bride was faltering, his eyes squeezed tight. He was a little uncomfortable that Lavi wanted to make out in front of a priest and an illegal immigrant. But Lavi was Lavi. And to him, it didn't matter. His mind was set on Kanda. Lavi then pressed harder and wrapped his arms around Kanda's waist. The Japanese, however, tried to push him away a little, finding himself unable to breathe under his (now) husband's rough kisses.
Father Harrison cleared his throat one more time, a little louder than his previous ones. The newly-wedded couple stopped and looked at him. "Save that for your honeymoon, you twats." He insulted, chuckling. "You're not the only teenagers I wed like this, you know." He smiled a very nostalgic smile, reminiscing of his past clients as he walked down from the altar, sitting on one of the pews. "Except, of course, you're the first two boys I had wed."
Of course, with every wedding, a honeymoon was required. And the honeymoon was Lavi's most awaited part when he had stepped inside the chapel grounds. As expected, Kanda wasn't in much agreement. He didn't know why Lavi was so persistent. And he especially didn't know why he was up against the wall and his legs enveloped around a redhead's waist—who was kissing him hungrily, almost animalistic, like an undomesticated predator. It would've been too aggressive if it weren't for the genuine love that was within it. Kanda was incapable of slowing him down but he was willing enough to be reasonably responsive.
"You shouldn't… be too… loud." Lavi muttered between kisses, noting the slightly loud noises coming out from Kanda's wet lips. "The walls aren't that thick, ya know?"
"F-Fuck—"Kanda was about to curse him when Lavi ran his hand through the other one's chest, unbuttoning his white undershirt. The redhead wasn't lying, though. The walls were thin. They were unsurprised, seeing that they only checked in on a fair-priced—not cheap, for Kanda did not like cheap—motel by the same boulevard where the chapel was located.
Kanda's breathing got heavier and dangerously fast that Lavi broke away from their heavy kiss to let the other one breathe. The long-haired man was a clumsy kisser, no doubt. But Lavi didn't have the luxury to mind though.
"You… you alright?" Lavi asked, panting, but only vaguely. He wore a smile seeping with concern. "Hey." He said softly, brushing off the bangs upward that were covering the pale man's forehead.
"M-Mm…" Kanda managed to muster, nodding.
After long intervals of making out, panting, ripping each other's clothes off, their uniforms lay abandoned on the motel floor. Several bottles of Patron Tequila were on the tables and shot glasses were scattered across the room. Moans and other unmentionable noises echoed through the cheap (fair-priced!) motel room. And it probably echoed on other rooms, as well. The only thing missing was a receptionist knocking on the door, warning them about the noise. But luckily, that didn't happen and all they got was a few knocks coming from the east wall.
They didn't know what time they slept or what time they stopped doing what they were doing. They had no intention of forgetting what happened. It was their honeymoon. It should be memorable, as Lavi mentioned before. What they did forget was they had a mission, which they exceptionally neglected.
It was six when Lavi awoke to the sound of something hitting the windows that was east of their bed. He blinked a few times before fully taking in the surroundings. He looked at his side. Kanda had fallen asleep in Lavi's arms. And even when Lavi was awake, Kanda was still fast asleep, curled against the redhead's side, his head resting on Lavi's chest and his hair beautifully spread across the white, messy, and tangled sheets. For a split second, he considered closing his eyes and going back to sleep, but the noise by the window grew louder and it annoyed him.
When he examined the window, there was a black, flying sphere hitting itself on the glass. Lavi narrowed his eyes, his vision from his one eye still a little blur. It was then he recognized the thing hitting itself on the window.
It was a golem. "Shit!" he whispered a curse, not wanting to wake the other one up.
As much as he hated having to disentangle himself from his other half, he rushed over to the window and pulled the curtains, covering the golem's vision. When Lavi turned around to face his sleeping Kanda, he wasn't sleeping anymore. He was rubbing his eyes when Lavi approached him.
"What's that noise?" Kanda asked, feeling something stinging on his left ring finger, where Lavi's improvised wedding ring-slash-earring enclosed itself. Kanda blinked at the silver item, uncertain of the fact whether he was feeling happy or just incredibly happy. But he didn't show it. He looked over to the redhead, wearing only his pants, who looked like he was hyperventilating. "Hey, you idiot."
"There's a golem outside. Komui must've sent it." Lavi replied, choosing to ignore the object that was hitting itself on the glass pane.
"Isn't it time we go back?" Kanda spoke as he tried to sit up, wrapping the large blanket around his waist and tying a bow to lock it. He brushed his black hair off his chest, feeling several aches on the majority of his body parts as he did so. He squeezed his lips, exhaling as he rubbed a hand over his face. Suddenly feeling tired, even after waking up, he added, "Don't blame me if I ever sign divorce papers tomorrow."
"You mean an annulment?"
"We had a Catholic marriage, as ironic as that sounds; we can't have a divorce." Lavi corrected, "But that won't happen, right?"
Kanda didn't respond but he wanted to answer yes, but was too timid to say so. The redhead only laughed, a sign that he knew what Kanda wanted to say. Kanda then felt an arm encircle his abdomen and cool lips touch the back of his neck. For the first time, he didn't complain.
"Hey, take me to the bathroom." Kanda softly said out of the blue, having the need to take a shower. He wanted to walk there, but there was pain all over, especially his lower body. Without any delay, he felt Lavi lifting him up—together with the sheets that draped over Kanda's waist—the same way he carried him last night on the way to their honeymoon, like a bride. Lavi carried him like he was light as a feather. Kanda figured it was because he carried a huge hammer all the time. That must've been damn heavy.
"Are we gonna head back, wifey?" Lavi asked the man in his arms, walking towards the bathroom.
It was embarrassing, and he was hardly ever responsive, but he decided to let loose. Kanda stretched his arms, circled them around the redhead's neck and nestled his face on Lavi's shoulder.
"No. Let's stay here a while longer."
A/N: Wow, I had so much fun writing this. As you may already know, this was inspired by Bruno Mars' song, "Marry You". I love the song and I had it on repeat while typing. I knew the song way back before Glee sang it. I didn't quite like the Glee version. They kinda ruined it for me. You should read this while "Marry You" is playing, a'ight?
BTW, the latest chapter was just depressing! I mean, come on! I figured I should write something happy to get rid of the hopelessness that's happening in the manga.
Have a wonderful year everyone!
I don't own DGM :)