To: James Storm
From: Rob Van Dam

You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.

To: Twitter
From: Matt Hardy
About: Shannon Morre
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.

To: Sara
From: Cody Rhodes
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm

To: Wade Barrett
From: Heath Slater
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?

To: Justin Gabriel
From: Kelly Kelly
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.

To: Kazarian
From: AJ Styles
About: Brian Kendrick
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.

To: Cooper Lawson
From: Jeff Hardy
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Cooper Lawson
It's 11 o'clock somewhere.

To: Chris Sabin
From: Alex Shelley
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself

To: Robert Roode
From: James Storm
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.

To: Justin Gabriel
From Heath Slater
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.

To: Wade Barrett
From: Drew McIntyre
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.

To: CM Punk
From: David Otunga
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.

To: Robert Roode
From: James Storm
About: Shelley
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him

To: Christian
From: Edge
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.

To: Wade Barrett
From: Sara
About: John Cena
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?

To: Christian
From: Edge
did mom hear me barking?
To: Edge
From: Christian
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
To: Christian
sooo high. sooo many dog friends

To: Matt Hardy
From Edge
Um...sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even.

To: Alex Shelley
From: Robert Roode
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over

To: AJ Styles
From: Ric Flair
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.

To: Robert Roode
From: James Storm
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light

To: Heath Slater
From: Justin Gabriel
About: wade Barrett
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.

To: Jack Swagger
From: Alex Riley
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night

To: Alex Shelley
From: Chris Sabin
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.

To: John Cena
From: Evan Bourne
About: Randy Orton
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?

To: Sara
From: Alex Shelley
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.

To: Justin Gabriel
From: Heath Slater
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.

To: Randy Orton
From: John Cena
About: Being the Referee in the Wade vs. Punk match
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.

To: Cody Rhodes
From: Evan Bourne
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

To: Chris Sabin
From: Alex Shelley
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it