How many times has this type of story been done? Far too many, I'm sure. But I'll throw mine into the mix anyway.
Edit: Reposted. Oh spell-check how you kill me.
Wammy's House children were the best of the best; so naturally, they got only the finest education that money could buy. No expense was spared to help shape the minds of L's potential successors. Wammy's offered classes on everything from philosophy and ancient literature, to advanced mathematics and theoretical sciences. Every language imaginable was available, with native speakers flown in to teach. In fact, there were more classes than children at Wammy's.
There was one class, however, that was absent from the list. Sex Education. Roger was the one who approved each and every course, and the thought of offering that particularly one made him very uncomfortable. Roger was a conservative man, and as long the children weren't getting themselves into trouble of… that sort, he didn't see a need to have a Sex Ed class.
That arrangement worked out just fine until two of the kids were caught doing things. The kind of things that made Roger adjust his necktie and cough nervously when they were brought into his office for a talking to (which Roger eventually gave up on, and just sent them on their way with a stern slap on the wrist). It took an awkward and embarrassing situation to do it, but Roger finally caved and decided to offer Sex Ed. He contacted the Health teacher and asked her to cover the new class, and then put the whole uncomfortable situation out of his mind.
For two weeks, that is. The teacher had resigned suddenly, and Roger hadn't had time to find a replacement. So Monday morning found the older man, lugging a large briefcase to a classroom in the science wing, and cursing his rotten luck.
Reaching the correct room and placing his case gently on the desk, he turned towards the whiteboard so he wouldn't have to look the students straight in the eye. "So," he began, "As you may have heard, Ms. Tackett had somewhat of a nervous breakdown this last weekend-"
"Yeah, she did!" Two boys in the back of the classroom laughed and exchanged a hi-five. Roger signed and pretended not to have heard.
"-And decided it might be best if she didn't teach for awhile," he finished. "Now, I don't know what she was teaching you, but the Wammy's House official position on sex is abstinence." He wrote the word on the whiteboard and underlined it. "And I've decided the best way to illustrate this," he turned to face the class and immediately wished he hadn't. Roger really didn't care for children-especially a roomful of them staring at him, "Is to show how your actions have consequences."
Roger flipped open his briefcase and removed the carton of eggs he had had one of the cooks give him that morning. "So I'm assigning each of you a partner and an egg. This egg will be your child. The child you could end up with if you choose to partake in sexual activities while you're still underage. You will take it everywhere with you, and I mean everywhere. It will be your responsibility until the end of the week and if you break, crack, or otherwise maim your egg, you will fail the project. To get an A, I'll need to see that you really did treat it as a child, and not just as an egg. Also- Yes, Mello?"
A blonde boy in the second row wearing dark jeans and a faded Von Bondies t-shirt had raised his hand. "I'm gay. May I be excused from this project?"
Roger sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That didn't get you of gym, Mello, and it's not getting you out of this." He continued his instructions on the project.
Mello scowled and lowered his hand. He didn't want to be in this dumb class anyway. It was a complete waste of his time. He'd wanted to take Russian Literature, but Near was taking the stupid Sex Ed class (Lord knows why), and Mello had decided a long time ago that it wouldn't be good enough just to beat Near for the number one spot by loading up his schedule with easier classes. No, it would only be a true victory if he beat him in all the same classes. The only problem? He still wasn't beating Near. So now Mello was stuck learning about abstinence and eggs and whatever other bullshit Roger decided to throw at them.
"Did you hear a word I just said, Mello?" Roger's voice cut through Mello's inner monologue.
Mello folded his arms and slumped lower in his seat. "No."
"I said you'll be paired with Matt for this project."
Mello sat up suddenly. "Can't I be paired with a chick? That seems kind of gay." He didn't actually care if he was paired with a guy or not, he just really didn't want to do this project. Mello was hoping that maybe if he got a girl as a partner, he could lay off most of the work on her and still make an A.
"Mello, am I to believe that you are now offended by mentions of your sexuality even after you blatantly use it to try and weasel your way out of work."
Mello scowled and narrowed his eyes.
"I thought not," Roger continued. "Now, if you had been listening, you would have heard me say that we have fewer ladies than young men in this class and that there would have to be a few same-sex couples." When a few of the boys in the class groaned at his words, but Roger glared in their direction until they quieted. "Now come up and get your egg. I'll sign it so that I know you haven't replaced it over the next week, and then you're free to go."
Mello looked away the classroom as one by one, the newly assigned 'couples' went forward to the desk to receive their new child. Matt. The name rang a bell, but to be honest, Mello didn't really concern himself the other children at Wammy's House. He only had eyes for Near, but not in a loving way."Matt?" he questioned to the room. When no one responded, he turned to a boy a few rows back. "Hey Drake, who's Matt?"[
Drake looked up from his newly acquired egg, which his partner (a girl) was cooing over like it was a real baby. Stupid. "Matt's that redheaded kid. Sits in the back. He never really pays attention. Just plays a handheld. I don't think he's even here today."
Mello made an angry sound in his throat. Just his fucking luck. Somehow, he decided, this had to be Near's fault. If it weren't for Near, he wouldn't even be in this stupid class, having to take care of a dumb egg, with a no-show partner.
This project was totally going to suck.
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