Captain N: The Game Master

Season 5


Saturday, November 27, 1993, 1:00 PM

Mike and Kevin walked into the living room.
Mike took a warp zone opener out of his front left jeans pocket. "Ready to go to Dragon's Den?"
Kevin nodded. "Yep. Let's hit it!"
Mike turned on the opener and selected a set of coordinates. He reached to press the button to open the warp, but his thumb accidentally pressed some numbers on the keypad first. Not noticing this, Mike opened a warp.
"Let's go dragon hunting!" Kevin said with a grin.
"You shouldn't have accepted my challenge, Keene." Mike said. "I'm gonna fry more dragons than you!"
"Yeah, right!"
The two of them stepped into the warp.

Mike and Kevin exited the warp, and it closed.
They looked around. They were standing on a street corner.
"This isn't Dragon's Den." Mike observed.
"No, it isn't." Kevin agreed. "Mike, where the hell are we?"
Mike looked at their surroundings. "The cars. People's clothes. It all looks like something out of the 1920s."
"But we gotta still be in Videoland." Kevin said. "We're still animated. But what I don't get is why the warp brought us here and not Dragon's Den."
Mike checked the coordinates on the opener. "Oops."
Kevin frowned at him. "What does 'Oops' mean, Mike?"
"Heh, heh,...wrong coordinates. I, uh, must've messed them up before I opened the warp."
"Well, un-mess them and get us to Dragon's Den."
Mike pressed some buttons. "I'm gonna save the coordinates for this world into the opener. It looks cool. There."
Suddenly, the opener's display went blank. This did not go unnoticed by Kevin.
Mike looked at him and considered his words very carefully. "Uh-oh."
"Uh-oh?" Kevin asked.
Mike smiled uneasily. "The...display...went...blank. Saving the coordinates must've drained the last bit of power in the opener's batteries. Heh."
"I don't believe this!" Kevin said. "We could've used that power to get off this world! Didn't you think of recharging the opener before we left?!"
"Okay, okay! It's my fault!" Mike admitted. "How are we gonna get home?"
"We gotta find a warp zone." Kevin said.
Mike grinned. "Leave that to me."
"What do you have in mind?" Kevin asked.
Kevin followed Mike over to the steps of a building. Two men dressed in black suits and hats were standing on the steps, holding Tommy guns.
"Excuse me." Mike said.
"What do yous two want?" the man on the left asked.
"We want them fancy threads." Mike answered.
Quickly, Mike and Kevin drew their Zappers and zapped the men.

Mike and Kevin walked into a restaurant dressed in the mob clothes.
"Are you sure this will work?" Kevin asked.
"You wanna find a warp home or not?" Mike asked. "Just leave the talking to me."
"Do you know what you're doing?"
"Relax." Mike said. "I've seen every relevant Star Trek episode a bunch of times."
"Just be discreet." Kevin said.
"I'm always discreet."
Mike and Kevin walked over to a booth, where two mob hitmen were having spaghetti and meatballs. A blonde woman was sitting to their right.
"May we join yous guys?" Mike asked.
"Who are yous?" the hitman on the left asked.
"We're...the Video Boys." Mike said.
Kevin and the hitmen all gave Mike odd looks.
"The Video Boys?" the hitman on the right asked.
"Yeah." Mike said. "I'm Frankie Video. This here's Tony Video."
"I'm Acey. This is Mugsy." the hitman on the left said. "Have a seat, fellas."
Mike sat across from Acey, and Kevin sat across from Mugsy.
"Remember, be discreet." Kevin whispered.
"So," Mike asked casually, "...do yous two know of any warp zones around here?"
Kevin slapped his left hand over his face and shook his head.
"What? Warp zones?" Acey asked. "Is that where drug deals go down?"
"Um,...never mind." Mike said.
"So, what do yous guys do for a livin'?" Mugsy asked. "Other than the usual, of course."
"We're musicians." Mike said.
"Mike?!" Kevin hissed, giving him a "Shut up!" look.
"Oh, really?" the woman asked. "I love music. Can you play a song for me on the piano?"
"Uh,...we can't." Kevin said. "Sorry, ma'am."
"What's that?" Acey asked. "Yous two don't wanna play a song for my Gloria?"
Kevin cringed. "Well, - "
Acey nodded to Mugsy. They simultaneously stood up and drew their guns, pointing them at Mike and Kevin. The two frightened teenagers threw their arms into the air.
"We'll play! We'll play!" Kevin cried.
"Well,...that's more like it." Acey said as he and Mugsy put their guns away.
The five of them walked over to the nearby piano. Mike sat down on the piano bench, and Kevin sat to his right. Acey, Gloria, and Mugsy rested their arms on the piano.
"What do we do now?" Kevin whispered to Mike. "We can't play the piano!"
"But we can play the keyboard. How different can it be?" Mike whispered back.
"Hey, what's wit all the whisperin'?" Acey asked. "Where's the song?"
"Right here." Mike said. He faced Kevin. "FGB, 1975. Ready?"
Kevin sighed. "Oh, man. Ready."
Mike stayed playing the piano, then he and Kevin started singing:

We're the Ghost Busters.
I'm Spencer! He's Tracy!
I'm Kong.
We're the Ghost Busters.
We're clever, courageous, and strong.

Your safe has been haunted
With whispers and rattlings.
Your blood has been curdled;
We know what to do.
You're scared as the creepies
And wonder what's happening.
You're safe in our hands;
We will take care of you.

We're the Ghost Busters.
Spirits and demons beware.
The Ghost Busters.
Wherever you're hiding, we're there.

We know what you're up to.
We're ready for anything.
We're bold, and we're fearless,
And never afraid!
We're always prepared;
We're right there with everything.

Bustin's our job.
Trouble's no pain.
The Ghost Busters do it again!

Mike stopped playing. Acey and Mugsy just stared at them. Kevin cringed. All was silent for a few moments.
"That was great!" Gloria finally said.
Mike and Kevin were surprised. "It was?"
"Yous boys are terrific!" Gloria said with a grin.
"Well, it seems Gloria likes the song." Acey said. "So, I'll spare yous two."
Mike and Kevin breathed sighs of relief.
"In fact, we're gonna take yous to meet our Boss." Acey continued. "He's been lookin' for some entertainment."
"What?" Mike and Kevin asked. "Hey?!"
Acey and Mugsy had pulled Mike and Kevin to their feet, and were now pushing them out the door of the restaurant.
A limosine was parked outside. The driver opened the back door.
"Nice goin',...Frankie." Kevin muttered.
Mugsy got into the limo, followed by Mike, Kevin, Acey, and Gloria. The driver closed the door, went and got in the driver's seat, started the vehicle, and they drove to the Boss' place.

Mike and Kevin walked into the office, followed by Acey and Mugsy.
"Hey, Boss, we found these two guys at the restaurant." Mugsy informed him.
"Yeah, they're musicians." Acey said. "We brought 'em here for entertainment, Johnny."
Johnny, the Boss, was playing pool. He made a shot, then looked up. "Musicians, huh? Well, well, I could use some entertainment. Play a song for me."
Kevin smiled nervously. "Uh, yeah, well, we'd love to, but we gotta go." He started to back away towards the double-doors.
Acey blocked his path. "Uh-uh. When the Boss tells ya to do somethin', ya do it."
"All right, yous two, sidown!" Johnny ordered.
Mike and Kevin looked at each other, then sat down in chairs.
"Cover 'em." Johnny said.
Acey and Mugsy pointed their guns at Mike and Kevin.
Johnny walked over to Kevin and removed his Zapper from the holster. "What kinda heater is this?" He aimed it at a wall.
Kevin reached out with his right hand. "Uh, don't do that. You'll blow out the wall."
Johnny laughed. "That good, huh? You got any more of these fancy heaters?"
"At home." Mike said.
"Mike, shut up!" Kevin hissed.
Johnny smiled. "Well,...then I'll make yous guys a deal. You supply me wit enough heaters to hit Capone 'n' take 'im out, and I'll let yous live."
"Capone?" Kevin asked in surprise.
"Yeah, Al Capone." Johnny said. "He's the biggest Boss in the world."
"What's this planet called?" Kevin asked.
"Heh. What, are yous guys from another planet?"
"Well, - " Kevin began.
"Okay, I'll humor yous." Johnny interrupted. "This is the Untouchable World."
Mike smiled. He reached out and poked at a table with his right index finger. "Touch, touch, touch. Liar."
Kevin grew even more nervous.
"Watch it, wiseguy, or you'll be sleepin' wit the fishes." Johnny warned. "So, we got a deal?"
"Sorry, but we can't." Kevin said.
"All right, ice 'em." Johnny told Acey and Mugsy.
Acey and Mugsy prepared to fire.
"Hey, uh, nothin' better happen to us, Johnny, or you're gonna hear from our Boss." Mike threatened.
"Your Boss?" Johnny asked.
"Yeah." Mike said. "Mickey D."
"Mickey D? Never heard of 'im."
"That's cuz he keeps a low profile. Whenever he hits a place, he leaves no witnesses. Know what I mean?"
"Now just a minute, pally. You don't expect me to believe ya."
"Let me get on the blower. I'll call him." Mike said.
Johnny thought for a moment. "Okay. But no funny stuff."
Mike stood up and walked over to Johnny's desk. Acey kept his gun pointed at Mike.
Mike picked up the receiver on the phone and pretended to dial. "Hey, Snakes! This is Frankie! Listen, could ya put Mick on? All right."
Everyone, especially Kevin and Johnny, watched Mike in curiosity.
"Mickey, this is Frankie." Mike said. "Hey, you won't believe this, but Johnny's boys put the bag on us. Yeah, we're over at his place right now. Ya gotta spring us. Send the boys over 'n' make a hit, huh? Okay. See ya, Boss." Mike hung up the phone. He turned to face Johnny. "There. Now Mickey's boys will come here 'n' hit this place hard. You wanna stay in one piece, you let us go."
Johnny thought about this.
"Tony, come over here." Mike said.
Kevin stood up and walked over to Mike and Johnny.
"Give 'im back his heater." Mike told Johnny.
Johnny looked at Kevin, then handed his Zapper back to him.
Mike and Kevin pointed their Zappers at Acey and Mugsy.
"All right, boys, throw down the hareware." Mike ordered.
Acey and Mugsy threw their guns to the floor. Kevin pointed his Zapper at Johnny's hitmen.
Mike faced Johnny. "You, too."
Johnny took his gun out of his jacket and dropped it to the floor.
Kevin, still keeping an eye on Acey and Mugsy, picked up all three guns off of the floor.
"Hey, listen, Frankie." Johnny said, a bit nervous. "I'll make ya another deal. All our boys, mine 'n' Mickey D's, we hit Capone 'n' wipe 'im out. Then we split everything fifty / fifty. Wadaya say?"
"Shaddap, Johnny." Mike said. "Nobody's makin' any deals here but me."
Mike walked over to the pool table and climbed up on top of it. He stood, looking down at everybody else.
"The Video Boys are takin' over this place." Mike said. "Right, Tony?"
Kevin shrugged. "I guess."
"Riiight, Tony?" Mike asked again.
Kevin suddenly understood. He nodded. "Riiight!"
"Takin' over?" Johnny asked. "Hey, wait a minute - "
Mike pointed his Zapper at Johnny. "You wanna argue wit me about it?"
Johnny shook his head nervously. "N-no, sir."
"We got lotsa boys workin' in our outfit." Mike said. "They'll hit this place 'n' put the bag on yous."
"Hey, all I seen so far are yous two." Acey said. "I ain't seen no Mickey D, 'n' I ain't seen no other guys."
Mike faced Acey. "We got over forty guys on the way, pally."
"That's your story, Video." Johnny said.
"Yeah, that's my story, Johnny!" Mike said in mock anger.
Just then, they all heard the sound of gunfire. Mike hopped off the pool table, and he and the others went over to a window.
Outside, three cars were parked in front of the building. A lot of hitmen were firing their Tommy guns at Johnny's office.
Mike smiled. "See? I told yous!"
"All right, get outta here!" Johnny said.
Mike and Kevin smiled at each other, then walked towards the door.
"Mike, who - " Kevin began.
"Don't ask. Let's just get outta here."
They opened up the double-doors and walked out of the office.
Acey pointed out the window. "Hey. Hey, I recognize some of them. Those are Capone's guys!"
Johnny thought for a moment, then realized he'd been tricked. "Get 'em!"
Acey and Mugsy ran after Mike and Kevin.

Mike and Kevin went out the back entrance of the building. They walked through the alley.
"We gotta find a warp off this world." Kevin said.
"Hey, yous two!" Acey shouted.
"Oh, boy." Kevin said.
Acey and Mugsy came up behind them.
"Move, 'n' I'll drill ya." Mugsy told Kevin.
Mike suddenly pulled Acey to the front of him, threw him to the ground, and pinned him. While Mugsy was distracted, Kevin turned and did a roundhouse kick, hitting Mugsy in the face. Mugsy fell to the ground, unconscious. Mike punched Acey in the face and knocked him out.
Mike got to his feet. He smiled at Kevin. "Nice move. Where'd you learn it?"
Kevin smiled. "Kristen taught me it on Tuesday."
"Remind me to buy Kristen lunch at her favorite fast food place."

In the alley next to the restaurant, Kevin was searching through a dumpster.
He pulled out a plastic bag full of clothes. "Found 'em!"
"Good." Mike said. "We can't leave this place without our clothes."
They walked out of the alley.
Just then, a car came around the street corner and started speeding toward them.
"There they are!" Mugsy told Acey, who was driving.
"They found us!" Kevin shouted.
Mike looked around. "Over there!"
Kevin followed Mike over to a car. "A Model-T?"
Mike got behind the wheel. "Yeah. Help me get this thing started."
Kevin worked the crank. They soon got the car started.
Kevin pushed Mike to his right as he got behind the wheel. "Move over. I'm the faster racer, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah. And Kevin?"
Mike adjusted his hat. "Shtep on it."
They took off. Acey and Mugsy gave pursuit.
Mike and Kevin went down many streets, trying to lose the hitmen, but, so far, they weren't succeeding.
Finally, they entered an alley.
Mike pointed ahead of them. "A warp!"
Just then, Acey and Mugsy's car entered the alley. The two hitmen began firing.
Kevin drove the Model-T into the warp, and the warp closed, revealing a brick wall.
Acey and Mugsy screamed, and Acey brought the car to a screeching hault.
"The Boss ain't gonna like this." Mugsy said.
"Aw, shaddap." Acey muttered.

The Model-T exited the warp, and Mike and Kevin found themselves in the room that housed the Warp Zone Shifter. Lana, who was in the room at the time, yelled and got out of the way.
Kevin brought the car to a hault. He looked around. "We're back home!"
"What have you guys been doing?!" Lana asked in surprise.
"Long story." Mike said. "Lana, do me a favor and hand me an opener."
Lana handed Mike a warp zone opener.
Mike checked the home coordinates. "Yep, this is our world."
"Kevin, please tell me what's going on." Lana said.
"We accidentally went to a mobster world." Kevin explained. "Our opener died, so we had to disguise ourselves and look for a warp back."
Lana smiled. "I look forward to your report at tonight's Club meeting. By the way, who are you dressed as?"
Mike looked at Kevin, then back at Lana. "We're...the Video Boys."
Lana looked curiously at them and nodded.
Mike and Kevin looked at each other and smiled.

Copyright © 1998 by Mark Moore