I Hate You, I Promise
Disclaimer-I do not own Glee
Summary: "I can't stand your lesbian girlfriend," Kurt told him. "And I hate you, I promise…" With a sneer, Puck responded "I hate you too"; "I just love you even more." One of them added in a whisper.
I am BRITISH so I will spell words the British way e.g. 'colour' and British words/phrases may well appear, I won't change it so don't bother pointing it out.
This fic will contain homosexual-ness. If that bothers you then I strongly urge you to pull your homophobic head out of your ass and grow the fuck up.
If you don't like this fandom, or this pairing or boy-on-boy action, don't waste your time reading this fic, go do your homework or clean your room instead, something productive.
Now, to those who do appreciate the fan created gayness that is Puckurt/Pummel, read on…
Two words, each with four letters, both holding such strong meanings in their single syllable, complete opposites just like the moon and the sun or fire and ice. Both words were often overused in every day life thereby stripping away the true extent of their meaning, cheapening it. But just how different were those two words really?
Poising his silver-plated fountain pen over the white of his lined paper, Kurt neatly wrote down the word 'HATE' in block capitals. The word stared up at him, reminding him how painfully familiar he was with the thoughts and feelings that accompanied such a word. Not because he himself hated many things, Rachel Berry's fashion sense for example, but because he knew all too well how it felt to be on the receiving end of hateful words and intentions.
Because of his sexuality, Kurt made a large number of the male students who attended McKinley High distinctly uncomfortable. That discomfort often led to fear because the Neanderthals of the school lacked the intellect to understand that Kurt's sexual preference was not a disease. They wouldn't suddenly become attracted to guys if Kurt stood near them too long. Yet many of the jocks couldn't understand that. They looked upon Kurt as if there was something wrong with him. It was out of ignorance and fear that they grew to hate Kurt and chose to bully him. The only thing that kept Kurt going was the support of his loving father who accepted him just the way he was, his best friend Mercedes, the sassy singer who always wore a smile for him, his love and talent for music, and the fact that he knew he was better than all of those brainless jerks who made it their mission to torture Kurt on a daily basis.
Fixing his attention back to his notebook, rather than pay attention to his Religious Studies teacher who was prattling on about how people, like Kurt, were sinners in God's eyes and would go to hell, Kurt wrote a fresh word. Next to the word 'HATE', he had written 'HAVE', the same word but for one letter. He had simply changed the 'T' to a 'V'. He added another word, again only changing one letter. This time, he removed the 'H' and wrote down a 'C' instead adding the word 'CAVE'. Changing one letter, he added another word, 'COVE'. Chancing the 'C' to an 'L' he copied down a final word.
Pulling his pen away, he looked down at the five words he had written, 'HATE', 'HAVE', 'CAVE'. 'COVE' and finally 'LOVE'. The first and last on the list were such powerful words. The meaning behind the two words couldn't have been more different yet it only took a few steps to change one word into the other. If one could change the words with such ease just by writing them down, Kurt wondered if the emotions could too be changed. Could he perhaps teach someone who hated him to love him instead? In response, could he learn to love someone he hated?
Scribbling over the five words, he shook his head. The thought alone seemed ludicrous. Although many people may be fraught with indecision and uncertainty, there were some things that would simply never change. As much as he might want to, Kurt could not magically change somebody's opinion of him.
Feeling an elastic band hit him on the back of his head, Kurt twisted his neck round to glare at whoever had launched it. As it turned out, the elastic band had been flung at him by Karofsky. Kurt's stomach churned with the thought of himself and Karofsky ever learning to love one another.
Hearing the teacher make another comment about how gays and lesbians were a disgrace against God, which triggered some guffawed laughs from a few members of the room, Kurt decided he had had enough. He shoved his things into his messenger bag, draped his beloved Marc Jacobs jacket carefully over his arm and secured his bag on his shoulder before stalking out of the room, Santana following not far behind him.
They were silent as they made their way through the corridor heading towards the safety they always felt in the familiar setting of the choir room. In perfect unison, they both collapsed gracefully into a seat. Kurt took up the chore of smoothing out his hair while Santana opted to reapply her lip-gloss.
"Thanks." Kurt felt compelled to say.
"Don't get cute with me." Santana sniped. "I didn't leave for you. I left coz I was capital B bored."
He rolled his eyes slightly, strongly suspecting that she was speaking the truth. He still felt as though he had to thank her though. There were no other Glee members in their Religious class, but if there was, Kurt liked to think they would have followed him out too. But as it was, it was just him and Santana who shared that compulsory class together.
They were both quiet, content to simply ignore one another's existence. Santana took out her iPod to play some music and Kurt pulled out his Math homework. His thoughts turned from the multiplications before him to the Latina girl sitting on the other side of the room. He wasn't entirely sure what her sexuality was and he didn't dare to ask. Either way, it made no difference to him, he'd never judge her for it, he was just curious.
It was common knowledge that Santana was a talented lady when it came to the bedroom. She had been with countless guys but as far as anyone knew, the only girl she had ever had sexual relations with was Brittany. Kurt wondered if Brittany and Santana were just experimenting or if there was genuine feeling there. It was possible that they were lesbians, but Kurt thought it more likely that they were bisexual given their high number of male conquests. There was also Santana's relationship with Puck to take into consideration. The two of them were never a serious couple but they fell into bed with one another an awful lot. More so now that Brittany was dating Artie and choosing to remain faithful to him rather than fool around with Santana or anybody else.
If Kurt had just a little more courage, or perhaps more stupidity, he would have asked Santana then and there if she preferred cock or pussy. He'd have also liked to have asked her about her relationships with Puck and Brittany both. The ditzy but good-hearted blonde cheerleader couldn't be more different from the Jewish womanizing jock.
Since being in Glee club with Brittany, Kurt had grown to love the girl. Not in a sexual or romantic way of course, after all, being gay meant that girls didn't do it for him. He did adore the girl though and loved her in a platonic way.
As for Puck, although Kurt would begrudgingly admit that the guy was so sexy it should be illegal, he did not like the arrogant ladies man. Although Puck was also part of the Glee club, that didn't make him Kurt's friend. It didn't change the memories of all those dumpster dives and slushie facials. The muscular boy's vocals didn't erase all the insults and homophobic slurs he had thrown at Kurt in the past. In Kurt's eyes, Puck was still very much a bully.
From that point of view, Kurt couldn't understand how Santana could possibly be attracted to both Puck and Brittany. Of course, Kurt wasn't Santana. He then found himself wondering if Santana actually loved either of them. He knew Santana and Brittany were still best friends, just without the benefits since Brittany had been dating Artie, so Santana obviously loved Brittany in a friend way, just as he himself loved Mercedes. But did Santana love Brittany as more than a friend? Or did the Latina girl love Puck, who Kurt often thought of as her male equivalent?
The questions that circled Kurt's head of course remained unanswered since he never gave them voice. Though he highly doubted Santana would answer even if he had asked her. The girl would probably castrate him just for speaking to her without permission.
He imagined Puck and Brittany must mean something to Santana though, why else would she sleep with them on more than one occasion? Or maybe that was just how sex worked sometimes. You found somebody who was a good lay so you returned to them from time to time unless one of you found something more permanent. Kurt really wouldn't know since his sexual experience was limited to a few awkward kisses with Brittany when he tried and failed to be straight.
"Hey, Hummel," Santana called out suddenly as she pulled out her earplugs. "What's the definition of tender love?" She asked him with an amused glint in her eye that warned him this was one of her offensive gay jokes. He arched an eyebrow waiting for her answer. "Two gays with haemorrhoids." She laughed at her own joke while Kurt simply turned away from her. "Oh come on, admit it, that was funny."
"Haha." Kurt replied dryly. "You know I heard that one back in middle school and I didn't find it funny then either."
"Damn Hummel, what is up your ass?" Santana shot at him. "A pink dildo? Butt plug maybe?"
"What's up your ass, Lopez?" Kurt fired back at her. "A random stranger's cock with possible STDs? Puck's cock? Brittany's strap-on… oh wait, Brittany's only in to real cock right now."
"Leave Brittany out of it, fancy pants." Santana scoffed at him.
"Touch a nerve did I?" Kurt asked with mock sympathy.
"Why don't you go hang out in the janitor's closet?" Santana asked him. "You'll feel right at home there."
"That might have been mildly comical if I was actually a closet-case," Kurt told her. "But since I'm out and proud it loses what little wit it otherwise may have had. Perhaps your self-proclaimed bitchiness isn't as sharp as you thought."
"Whatever, Hummel." Santana retorted.
"Ooh, snappy comeback." Kurt replied with sarcastic praise as he applauded her.
She narrowed her eyes at him before grabbing her stuff and flouncing past him, flicking him in the face with her hair as she went. He scowled after her retreating figure, calling out a scathing comment about her cheap hair-extensions.
Later that day, as Kurt was strutting along with Mercedes, the two of them voicing their opinions on some of their more tragically dressed classmates, he heard a snatch of annoyed yells coming from a deserted classroom. Pausing in his steps, he looked to Mercedes and her expression told him that she had heard it too. With no need to communicate with words, the two best friends crept towards the door and nosily peered inside. They found themselves staring in at Santana and Puck in the middle of an argument, Puck fastening up his belt and Santana readjusting her skirt.
"What the hell, asshole?" Santana spat furiously moving closer to the boy and trying to undo his belt again only for him to step away from her. "I want some action and I want it now."
"Find someone else." Puck told her.
"What?" Santana exclaimed her eyebrow shooting up in shock. "I'm offering out my super hot body here, you're supposed to be a man and take advantage." She spread herself on the nearest desk, opening her legs invitingly. "Come on, ravish me."
"I'm not in the mood." Puck shrugged though the distinct bulge in his pants suggested otherwise. "Why don't you go and find your girlfriend?"
"Brittany isn't my girlfriend." Santana seethed. "But if you give me the attention I deserve, I could be your girlfriend."
"Santana, I don't even want to fuck you right now." Puck pointed out. "Do you honestly think I'd want to date you?"
Puck took a few steps towards the door and Kurt and Mercedes quickly ducked out of the way, pressing themselves against the wall outside of the room.
"Noah Puckerman," They heard Santana call out warningly. "If you walk out that door I will never have sex with you again."
"Fucking bitch." Puck swore.
After hearing the sound of a chair scraping along the floor, a delighted moan of surprise from Santana and the sound of a zip being undone, Kurt and Mercedes hastened to leave.
"Damn." Mercedes exclaimed once they were safely out of earshot. "Those two have some major issues."
"Other than their clothes and hairstyles you mean." Kurt quipped before the two of them laughed in amusement. "Seriously though, what do you think is going on with them?" Kurt asked being careful not to sound too interested.
"Beats me." Mercedes shrugged. "It's all about sex with them isn't it?"
"Puck didn't seem too willing from what we heard." Kurt reminded her.
"Maybe knocking Quinn up last year made him mature a little." Mercedes suggested thoughtfully.
"Perhaps." Kurt mused before shaking his head, not even sure himself why he cared about the on-goings of two people who weren't even his actual friends.
The rest of the day progressed with little incident until Glee club came about. After listening to Mr. Schue's enthusiastic speech about using music to express themselves, followed by Rachel's rant about how they needed to work extra hard if they hoped to take Regionals this year, they all sat back to listen to a duet Finn and Rachel had prepared.
As the couple sang together, Kurt cast his eyes about the room at the other couples in the room. There was Sam and Quinn, the two blondes looking so annoyingly charming and perfect together. Then there was Tina and Mike and the odd but sweet paring that was Artie and Brittany. Looking further along, Kurt discreetly observed Santana and Puck. She had one arm looped around his neck and was running the other up his thigh. She was clearly reaching for his cock when Puck shoved her hand away. A flash of anger crossed Santana's features for a moment before she leaned in and whispered something into Puck's ear before nibbling on his lobe. Puck smirked for a moment before shaking his head and moving a seat away from her. Kurt didn't know why he found the interaction between the two to be so intriguing but he just did.
After a while, Santana sensed his stare and threw a look of disgust in his direction before miming giving a blow-job with her hand. Unsure whether the hand-gesture was intended as an insult to his sexuality or if it meant something else, Kurt settled for rolling his eyes and turning away. He applauded half-heartedly as Rachel and Finn's duet came to an end.
Mr. Schue then called them all to their feet to run through their latest dance routine that had been choreographed by Brittany and Mike. Part way through, Finn stumbled slightly and accidentally knocked into Kurt, consequently sending him into Santana and crushing her foot.
"Fuck!" She swore as she hopped to the nearest chair and massaged her aching foot. "Watch where you're going, faggot."
"Santana." Mr. Schue reprimanded as Finn and Sam had to grab hold of Mercedes to prevent her from attacking the Latina girl.
"Let go of me." Mercedes snarled as the two boys held her back. "I'm gonna rip that slut's head off."
"Enough!" Mr. Schue called out. "That language is not appropriate under any circumstances, least of all in this choir room. This is Glee club. You're supposed to be a team, a family. This is the place where you can all come without it mattering that you're different. Now Mercedes, you need to calm down."
"But she…" Mercedes started but the Spanish teacher silenced her with a look. "Whatever, Mr. Schue." She gave up struggling in the boys' hold so they finally released her.
"And Santana, apologise to Kurt." Mr. Schue instructed.
"Oh come on, he knows I don't mean it." Santana waved her hand dismissively.
"Santana." Mr. Schue warned.
"It doesn't matter, Mr. Schue." Kurt spoke up. "Obviously Santana is upset over Brittany's relationship with Artie, and the realisation of just how much she's missing Brittany's special friendship is no doubt causing her to question the true orientation of her sexuality. It's only natural that she'll hurl childish homophobic slurs at me as she's clearly too insecure to admit such things aloud about herself."
Surprisingly, Puck chuckled at Kurt's little outburst which earned him death glares from a flushing Santana.
"Oh come on, babe." Puck said upon receiving Santana's vicious looks. "You gotta admit that it's a little bit true. You even scream Brittany's name when I'm giving you a mind-blowing orgasm, which is a real bruise to my ego by the way."
"Guys," Mr. Schue called out before Santana or anyone else could respond. "As I have now heard far more than any teacher should about your… *awkward cough*… sex lives, could we please get back to rehearsal."
"Mr. Schuster, I couldn't agree more." Rachel declared before clapping her hands together and encouraging everyone else back into position.
This time, they ran through the dance routine without anyone tripping up and falling over. Mr. Schue beamed in delight and applauded them for their efforts. As the group exchanged hugs and high-fives, Santana loosely wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist and briefly rested her head on his shoulder, a silent apology.
After Glee club officially ended, Mr. Schue bid them all a safe trip home and dismissed them from the choir room. Rachel hung back to talk over some of her ideas featuring her on lead vocal with him while the others made their way out.
Saying a goodbye to Mercedes, Kurt continued on to his highly polished black car only to find himself in the company of Santana. He sent her a questioning look but he face remained one of nonchalance as she invited herself into the passenger seat of his car.
"What's the matter; Puck won't give you a ride home?" Kurt asked.
"He has to pick up his sister." Santana answered.
"A likely story." Kurt remarked.
"Just drive, homo." Santana snapped.
"Fine, seatbelt on, lesbo." Kurt retaliated.
He turned the ignition on and pulled the car out of the parking lot before driving smoothly through the school gates. He allowed Santana to take control of the car stereo as he headed in the direction of her house which he knew to be a short way from Tina's.
"You're not a faggot, Hummel." Santana announced unexpectedly. "I mean you are, because you're a dude and you like cock but… I don't mean to be such a bitch alright. It just happens naturally because I'm so freaking good at it."
"Your apology attempts are embarrassingly abysmal." Kurt informed her. "In future, just stick to being a bitch."
"I want her back." Santana said. "And I want you to help me."
"I would assume that you are referring to one Miss Brittany Pierce." Kurt replied as he swerved round a corner.
"No I meant that other girl I used to have sex with." Santana retorted in a voice laced with sarcasm. "Of course I mean Brittany."
"And what makes you think I'd want to help you?" Kurt asked her. "Not only do I not like you very much, or at all, but Brittany is dating Artie now. Artie happens to be my friend and the two of them are happy together. Why should I help you ruin that? Besides, if you want sex you can just go to Puckerman or any other willing male in town."
"I don't want some random stranger." Santana told him. "And Puck doesn't want me. We only continue to do the nasty with each other because I'm hot and he's hot. But I want Brittany; she's the only one who's ever really cared about me. All the guys care about are my ass, tits and vagina. Brittany sees more than that and I'm going to get her back."
"Good for you, but don't expect any help from me." Kurt replied.
She frowned at him and looked ready to make some biting retort before she looked him over with a pensive expression.
"It can't be easy being the only gay boy in Lima." Santana commented. "Or at least the only openly-gay boy. You must get really lonely."
"Santana Lopez, if you're offering to have sex with me I will throw you out of my car." Kurt warned her.
"Gross, Hummel." Santana scoffed. "No, what I have in mind is a little more your style."
"I'm listening." Kurt told her as his curiosity ignited.
"If you help me get Brittany back," Santana said. "I'll get you set up with the guy who can give you the best fucking of you life. I'll hook you up with Puck."
Upon hearing what she had to say, Kurt almost crashed the car. Luckily, he recovered before any damage could be done and told her she was crazy. He turned on to her street and pulled over when she pointed out her house.
"Come on, Hummel, you know you want to." Santana said.
"Wrong." Kurt replied. "Obviously I need to remind you that not only is Noah Puckerman completely straight, but he hates me and I hate him with equal fervour."
"Oh like that matters?" Santana laughed. "Please, when it comes to sex, it's all about passion. And hate is an amazing demonstration of passion. You need to take all that pent up rage and hatred you feel for Puck and put it to good use. Like him loosening up your tight-fisted ass with his huge cock."
"You're officially insane." Kurt told her. "I must book you an appointment with Miss Pillsbury immediately."
"Don't be a prude, Hummel." Santana said. "I'm willing to bet that I know Puck better than anybody else. With my help, you could have him pounding in to your sweet virgin ass by the end of the month. If you agree to help me get Brittany back of course."
"Absolutely not." Kurt answered. "Why would I want to give my virginity up to someone like Puck?"
"Because he's hot." Santana shrugged. "Just think about my offer."
"I've already thought about it and the answer is now." Kurt replied promptly.
"You'll change your mind." Santana smirked as she stepped out of the car. "Just because you're gay doesn't make you a girl. You're still a guy and sex will always be the first thing on your mind. I'm offering you a chance to get some action in your teen years, just think about it."
She sauntered away and Kurt let out a groan before driving home. He was determined to convince himself that Santana was wrong but the idea of having sex was a highly appealing one. He was a hormonal teenage male after all, and it was highly likely that he wouldn't meet another gay guy until after he graduated and moved out of Lima. That would be a long time to wait to have the sex he so desperately craved. Having Santana help him pop his cherry sooner than he ever expected was certainly tempting. But could the Latina girl really achieve such a thing?
Arriving home, Kurt's cell phone beeped. He pulled out of his jeans pocket and found he had a picture message from Santana. Opening it up, he found himself looking at the image of Puck's naked body lying on what he assumed to be Santana's bed judging by the girly bed sheets. The photo had obviously been taken during one of their hook-ups.
Feeling his cheeks flush at the undeniably hot photo of Puck, Kurt typed a text to Santana calling her an evil vindictive bitch which he was sure she would take as a compliment.
Heading down to his basement bedroom, Kurt considered calling Mercedes and asking for advice before dismissing the idea. She may be his best friend but she just wouldn't understand. Neither would Tina or Quinn and most certainly not Rachel. Nice girls didn't think the same way as guys. He thought about speaking to his dad but that would be no good. His dad was too protective of him and would probably murder Puck even though the Jewish boy had nothing to do with anything… at least not yet. There wasn't anybody he could talk to. Anyone he knew was either too protective, too prudish or uncomfortable about the whole gay thing. This was something he'd have to tackle by himself.
His phone beeped again and Kurt opened the new text he'd received from Santana.
Jerking off yet? The text read.
Kurt deleted the message with a glare before ensuring his door was locked, then moving over to his bed. He re-opened the photo of a naked Puck and slipped his hand downwards reaching for his cock. In his head, he only thought of Puck as a gorgeous body, not as a person. There was no harm in a little fantasy after all. Perhaps Santana's offer wouldn't be so unreasonable. It's not like he had to be Puck's boyfriend or anything. All it would be was sex, that's what Puck was known for after all and Kurt certainly wasn't looking for a relationship with the mohawked stud.
Agreeing to help Santana win back Brittany in exchange for her helping him get into bed with Puck wasn't completely wrong, Kurt told himself. Perhaps Artie would be upset for a while but Kurt would be doing the boy a favour in the long run. Although he and Brittany made a cute couple, they didn't really belong together. In Kurt's opinion, Artie and Tina were destined to get back together again one day, and Santana and Brittany could truly make each other happy. He'd be doing a good thing really and sleeping with Puck would be his reward. One sexual encounter with one guy wouldn't make Kurt a slut, so really there was no reason why he shouldn't agree to Santana's suggestion. Really, what was the worst that could happen? It wasn't like he was in danger of actually falling in love with Puck or anything.
So… shall I continue?
Please Review, IQR xxx