a/n: This storyline is borrowed from Maaya-Neyha. I am rewriting it without typos (hopefully) and just upgrading it. It has a lot of language in it but of course, there are no lemons. Hope you enjoy this batshit crazy story and let me know what you think in a review. :)

Chapter One.

Coward. That describes me perfectly. This is the third year now, and yet I haven't done anything about it.

My name is Edward Cullen. I am seventeen years old and go to the shithole that is known as Los Angeles High School. Like I said, it's shit. As the captain of the varsity basketball team, you'd think my life is just peachy. Besides, who would complain when you had a smokin' chick like Tanya hanging off your arm as a girlfriend? Tall, busty and blonde; wasn't that what every guy wanted?

Not me. I'm not gay, but I just wasn't into slutty women like Tanya. Someone with a brain would be good, for a start. I am just -expected- to be with Tanya because she was head cheerleader and I, captain of a sports team. It really didn't work like that yet I was still going along with it like it was all just fan-fucking-tastic.

It's all really just a façade. I hate being the stuck up arrogant jerk and having to snicker at those who aren't jocks like me. I mean, I like everyone. One day, the nerds that I always glower at are going to be inventing the high-tech shit I will use. There won't be another iPad if I go bully the poor kid to suicide? I hate having to put up with my so called 'girlfriend' – I know she's a slut who is shallower than my mom's frying pan. But guess what? There's nothing I can do about it.

Hence, my cowardice. Or pussy ass.

Every freaking day, I walk down the corridor trying to be a decent guy getting to class on time. But no some douche always has to interrupt my walking with a high-five or a shove a cigarette at me in hopes of getting with my 'chill' crowd. What the fuck was a chill crowd anyway? Apparently I was cool.

Cool my ass.

And you know whose fault it is?

That Captain Bullshit asshole Mike Newton.

He said to me recently, "Listen, Ed, man. There's going to be this sick party tomorrow night. There is going to be so much ass there, you could call it a donkey farm!"

What the shithead was he talking about? I had no idea. I just knew that simile sucked more than his balls. Donkey farm? Dear God help me. But then again it was those bimbos' fault too. They always whined about respect and love but if you're going to walk around in barely-there clothes you can hardly speak.

"Yeah, yeah, text me the details." I said, half-assed.

Everytime he invited me to these stupid parties, I just wanted to smack his face silly but no, I just couldn't do it. Something about letting my hands touch his nasty face made me cringe. Pathetic. I really wanted to tell him to piss off with his dumb invitations. Fuck knows how I got roped into this shit.

Within this sea of popularity, I really only had two friends that I genuinely liked; Jasper Hale and Emmett McCarty. They were both on the basketball team and we'd known each other for a fair amount of time. Jasper was a calm guy with pretty boy blonde hair and Emmett was a big bloody brute with mischievous sapphire eyes. He was dating Jasper's sister (I don't know how that wasn't weird for them) Rosalie who was a statuesque blonde with killer legs.

So, I was walking towards my class when I got punched in the arm.

"Edward, my G, what's happening?" Mike's batshit crazy sidekick Tyler asked, all hard.

"Hmmn. Tyler." I said, tight-lipped.

"Oh man, check that smokin' meat on that." He looked pointedly at some poor girl's ass. Great, from donkeys, they were now steak.

"Oh yeah, it's lovely." I commented but I was actually thinking of McDonald's one dollar burger. You know, for one dollar, it was pretty damn good.

I didn't wait for Tyler's answer. Knowing it would be crude, I walked away swiftly to my computing class.

I always liked my computing class. None of the asshats I was ashamed to be associated with were in it. And the fact that typing was so much easier than writing was a plus. You could express your creative side. No boring essays or math equations; just Adobe programs and you going crazy.

I entered the classroom; everyone was sitting around the middle table, while Mr. Hussain, the computing teacher was talking to another student, so he didn't notice my late arrival. I took my seat beside Angela Weber. I've been in the same class as her since fifth grade. We used to talk quite a lot in middle school and then...I became a dick. It just was great.

Angela was a no nonsense personality and I felt that she didn't believe in all the arrogant crap she saw of me, which made me flash a smile towards her. She noticed and laughed while throwing me a knowing wink and turned back to her boyfriend, Ben Cheney. I was happy for them; at least they liked each other, if not loved! Unlike myself who detested Tanya, right to the gut.

Mr. Hussain interrupted my little inner monologue.

"Sorry about the late start. Now, as every year, we are going to begin the guess-your-chat month! As you know, the computer will be automatically select your chat partner. You will need to get to know them and at the end of the month you will have to guess who your chat buddy is."

Oh for fuck's sake. This was so lame and shit...that I didn't even have a simile for comparison. Last year, I was graciously paired with Jessica Stanley, who strted tokin lyk dis nd pissd meh off. In fact, for the rest of the month instead of talking to her, I just caught up with my homework and sat on Facebook, because Jessica's intensions were just nasty. Like NC-17 nasty. Webcam stripping was not what I wanted to do.

So Mr. I Think I Come Up With Cool Activities For My Computing Class Hussain assigned our seats and I ended up opposite Katie Marshall who whooped with euphoria. It was disconcerting.

"OMG! I'm so excited; I can't wait until I find out who my partner is!" She sort of reminded me of Alice, my little pixie like twin sister, standing at 4'11; she had more energy than a nuclear reactor.

I sighed Alice and I, were not on the best of terms.

Ever since I went across to the asshole side, Alice had been hostile, giving me wild ultimatums, such as 'Your sista or ya mistas'. I suppose Tyler wasn't the only potential gangster around here. Lil' Ali. It could actually work.

I signed into my account and created a username for the chat room. After much deliberation, I settled for Forks. My hometown in Washington was a calm and resigned place characterised by the green forest surroundings and year round rain. I waited for a few minutes while the programme was picking out my chat buddy at random.

Meanwhile, I looked up at all the classes that had computing at the same time as me. There were three other classes. I clicked on each one and checked the list of names. Some were not in my grade, so I didn't know them; others were people who'd I'd never spoken to and to my delight very few were from the douche crowd. Hallelujah.

Your chat buddy : Juliet

I began the chat.

Forks: Hello

Juliet: Hello to you too. Did you know Forks is a place in Washington?

That threw me off. Definitely not Tanya, or Lauren, or Jessica. They're too dumb to know that.

Forks: Yes, I happen to come from there.

Juliet: Me too :)

Forks: Aw man, Alice, is that you?

Juliet: Nope, Alice is in gym.

What? How did he/she know that? And someone from Forks? That's a first.

Forks: How do you know that? Are you stalking her?

I asked with alarm. Was someone following my poor innocent sister? I'd fuck them up so bad...

Juliet: How do you know her and why are you so concerned? And I just looked up the timetables.

I couldn't tell him/her that Alice was my sister, it would give it away.

Forks: I just know Alice, that's all. Yeah I did that too, haha.

Juliet: Haha. Wait, are you a he/she?

They typed the question which I was going to ask.

Forks: He, and you?

Juliet: She. :)

Just as I was about to type, the bell rang, signalling the end of the class. Aw man, I was really getting into this awkward conversation.

Forks: Oh, well, speak to you tomorrow, Juliet :p

Juliet: I bet I'll see you today, without even knowing it! Bye. xox

I laughed, she was so true, and for once, I was excited to talk to her again. She could spell, and didn't start being creepy or annoying and knew that Forks wasn't just the plural form of the cutlery. The rest of the day passed by without any events. I was still an asswipe, though.

After school, I was attacked by Tanya, who was all for some intense spit-swapping. I pecked her quickly and backed away. I just wasn't into kissing her and I seriously didn't want her mono. No, really, she was carrying that shit no matter what she said.

"Eddiekins. You'll never guess what happened today." She crooned at me, grabbing my hand as we walked. Eddiekins, I just hated that stupid shitface name. My name was fucking EDWARD.

"What?" I asked. I knew it would be some trite garbage about some freshman wearing the same shirt as her. Because that was worthy of a G8 summit.

"I hurt my face today! Can you believe that? Someone tried to smack this baby here!" She pointed to her face and continued, "Bloody ball crashing into my face." I bit my lip from guffawing. Everyone knew Tanya was as good at volleyball as a disabled elephant. Whoever told Tanya to catch a serve was a genius.

"It was that bitch, Alice." She muttered, and I jerked upwards and spun around from my retreating position.

She could wave all the tacky fake nails she wanted, she could become a bus so everyone could ride her, but hell no was she saying shit about my family. Alice was my sister and no other female was as important as she was.

"Don't you fucking dare talk about my sister like that." I threatened, in a low menacing voice.

"Well tell her to stop throwing balls at my face!" She shouted.

"Why don't you try and catching it for once you dumbass!" I retorted, wondering where the sudden confidence came from. We stood there for a moment, jaws locked, ready to attack - verbally of course. My mom had taught me better than take a swing a women. Even ones like Tanya.

"Look, Edward." She sneered my name.

"If you can't support me and think going bloody macho on my ass is okay, then it's over!" She screeched. I grinned like the Cheshire cat. Maybe this was my ticket out of a looney relationship.

"Thank fuck! I'm finally free!" I yelled, feeling I was losing my marbles. Ah, who cared, I was free of Tanya. She stomped her foot and trotted away with a huge 'hmph'. Good riddens.

Considering my sister was mentioned three times today, I finally decided to go and tell her the good news myself. Hopefully she'd be happy and finally stop throwing a shit fit everytime we were in the same room.

I walked towards Alice's room and heard giggling. I suppose Alice's BFFs were around. All they did was giggle and knock their heads together. Meh, it's not like I cared - I didn't own a pair of ovaries. But sometimes I said shit that made me reconsider that fact...

Alice had some hair equipment up against Rosalie's blonde locks, a curler? Ah shit I didn't know. The cheerleader was turning red with the heat but Alice had her locked into a seat while she was yabbering on about something. On the side, sat Isabella. Or Bella. Or whatever. She was completely average but in a nice way. Long brown hair and brown doe eyes.

She caught sight of me and did a full appraisal, "Edward's standing like a pedo at the door."

Alice and Rosalie stopped to look at me, no scratch that, they glared at me. Why? Hell if I knew.

"Uh, I wanted to talk to you Alice, but … I'll do that later." I stuttered under their intimidating glare. I wasn't a pedo! Laughter erupted from everywhere. Well you know it was hard to be smooth when you had three chicks all boring holes into you. Jesus.

"Who are you and what have you done with the fly Edward we all know?" Bella asked.

"Easy there, tiger. Sometimes Mr. fly needs to take time off and actually have a word with his sister." I snapped and walked away.

After three hours of virtually doing nothing except having a very stupid conversation with Emmett (which didn't even count, because talking about bathroom tiles wasn't helping anyone) Alice's friends left.

"Aaaaaaaaalice!" I barreled into her. I think I was high, but I couldn't guarantee it.

"Um, okay Edward. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Look, I'm sorry about whatever made you pissed off at me but I'm trying." I said sincerely. I didn't want to be a douche and Alice should know that. She just stared at me like I had rubella.

"O…kay? What brought this on?" She asked, confused.

"I dumped Tanya." I announced, time to gloat and gloat some more. I felt like this was the biggest achievement I had gained since I was born. Which was kind of bloody sad.

Her face was like an 'O'...it was shocked.

"Finally!" Two happy voices came from the kitchen. My parents – Carlisle and Esme.

"Oh my God, mom and dad you seriously are not saying that." I said, cringing.

"We just wanted what was best for you, son. Frankly, Tanya reminded me of herpes." My father said matter-of-factly. I can't believe he even said that. His audacity...then again I did say she had mono.

Well I let my parents have that laugh.

"Calm down Edward, this is only the beginning of a new you." Alice warned.

Of course. I still had shit to do.