Hey, here's your update. OOC on both Tessa and Will's part, but hey, who isn't OOC at some point?
I stormed through the library doors, fury coursing through my body.
Will's head snapped up from the chair he was in, he smirked until he saw the look on my face. Then his face turned deathly serious and he closed his book and stood up. I stood by the door, my arms crossed and my eyes glaring at Will.
"Tessa?" he asked uncertainly. "What's the problem?"
"What's the problem? I'll tell you the problem. You are. I'm tired of you Will! Your attitude and how you think you're better than everyone else. You're not Will. You're not even close! Every single one of us is tired of the way you act, even Jem. He may not always show it, but I can tell that sometimes he wants to yell back at you. But he doesn't because he's civil. You could learn a thing or two from him," I snapped. I knew I was being unlady-like, and that I should never talk to a gentleman like this, but Will was not a gentleman.
"Tessa, listen-" He started walking towards me but I cut him off.
"No, you listen, Will! When will you finally stop acting like a child and grow up? You're cruel, Will. That's all you've ever been. I don't know what happened to you where you were younger, but why do you have to take it out on all of us? We did nothing wrong to you." A look of confusion settled on his face at my outburst. I knew he was wondering why I suddenly came in here and started yelling at him, and the answer was that I was tired of it. Of everything that had to do with him. I'm no longer going to take his insults and rudeness. I've had enough, and it's time he finally realized that.
"Ever since I came here you hated me-" I began.
"That's not true, Tess. I-"
"I have told you many times before; my name is Tessa, not Tess! And yes, it is true. I can tell when someone hates someone else, Will. They make fun of them, push them away, are cruel to them - everything you've been to me. And I'm tired of it; I'm tired of it all! If you hate me so much that you can't stand to not insult me, then don't talk to me, and don't acknowledge me. Don't even look at me! Pretend like I'm not here and never was. I don't care what you do, just . . . stop." My voice weakened at the end. I grew tired of ranting, just like I grew tired of Will.
"I can't do this anymore. I don't think I can take you pushing me away any more. You pull me in, only to shove me away again. I don't think I'll survive if it happens again. Why can't you just stop? Why can't you just let me go?" I asked him desperately. I knew I wasn't being myself. This wasn't me, but I was tired of hiding how I really felt.
Will stood there a moment in silence, just staring at me.
"Well?" I asked him. "Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to answer me?"
He chose the first one.
"Alright then," I said, turning around. "I'll assume that you chose to ignore me." I headed towards the door when a grip on my wrist stopped me.
"I don't want to ignore you, Tessa. I-" He broke off. It was as if he was lost for words, which was very unlike Will. Usually he'd have some snappy comment that was waiting to be released, but now . . . now he was lost for words.
"You what?" I questioned. His eyes bore into mine, and I felt like I couldn't look away.
"What I said, on the roof top. I didn't mean it. I just . . . you and I . . . we can't-" I took pulled wrist out of his grasp and turned once more for the door.
"I see. Well then, sorry to have bothered you," I told him politely. "I'll just be going then."
"Tessa wait," Will called out to me. I looked over my shoulder at him. He closed the remaining steps between us gripped my shoulders, not enough to hurt, but enough to keep me in his grasp.
"Will let go of me," I told him. It was as if he didn't hear me because his grip didn't loosen at all.
"You didn't let me finish." I looked him in the eye and waited. "It's true, you and I can't be together," I looked away, no longer able to hold his gaze, "but that doesn't mean I don't want to be with you. You see, I'm not . . ." he trailed off. "You don't want to be with me," he finished.
I looked at him once more and saw sadness in his eyes. That was something I hadn't expected to see when I looked at Will. Amusement, yes; sadness, no. There was no amusement though. He was completely serious.
"And why don't I want to be with you?" I asked him. He hesitated before thinking for a moment.
"I'm not right for you. Like you said so yourself, I'm cruel. I'm a cocky, arrogant ass. But that's just who I am. You obviously can't stand that, so that's why we wouldn't be good together," he told me.
"But like I've also said before, I don't believe that's who you truly are. I don't think you really hate everyone. You're just trying to get everyone to not like you so that you won't be hurt by them. Tell me this, Will, why do you do it?"
I expected him to push me away again, like he did the first time I asked him that, but instead he sighed and loosened his grip on my shoulders. My arms relaxed in his hands and I stared up at him.
"It's better to be hated then to be loved and hurt," he told me. I shook my head.
"To love doesn't mean you'll always be hurt. There are people out there who love each other, and who are always there for each other. There are people who-"
"Who loved and got hurt by it. Who are now scarred by it. Who no longer want to feel that hurt, so they push everyone away. Who know what it's like to love someone, but are too afraid of getting constrained again if they embrace it. There are people who don't know what to do now that they are afraid of being bruised again. There are people like me." I finally understood what Will was feeling. I didn't know who hurt him in the past, and maybe it didn't matter anymore, but now I knew that there was a reason he pushed people away.
"You don't have to be afraid," I told him. I reached my hand up and held onto his arm. "You don't have to be afraid of getting hurt," I said softly. Will release my shoulders and instead pulled me into him. He wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head on his chest.
"I'm not afraid, Tess." I never would admit it, but I loved that he called me that. He pulled back and gripped my face in his hands.
"I'm never afraid." He smiled and before I knew it, his lips were resting on mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer to him. The kiss started out soft but became deeper. It reminded me of the other times we kissed, but yet it was different. It was more real than the others.
Will broke away and rested his forehead against mine. I was afraid of him pulling back, pushing me away like he did those other times. Instead he held me close and didn't let go.
I couldn't help but think that I liked this Will better.
Don't hate me; I know that was really OOC. You don't have to tell me, but you do have to deal with it. Whether that be closing this box and not reviewing or clicking that button we all love so much. No Jem in it, sorry Jem lovers. I think I might end this here. That looks like a good ending . . . (The beginning was her trying to get Will to open up, and she just did so . . .) Yeah. It's over.
Good seeing and hearing from you guys! Sorry if you hate me for making this story suck, or ending it here, or having this not really be a story . . . either one is fine by me. I don't blame you. This wasn't my best work . . . But thanks for reading!