Ninnik Nishukan

Summary: Roxanne Ritchi goes all gangsta on Megamind. Before Christmas. Traditions, like rules, can be broken. Pre-movie AU, fairly light-hearted.


It was the first of December, there was frost on the ground, and Roxanne Ritchi was out and about, getting a head start on her Christmas shopping.

So far, she was doing pretty well. She'd already bought gifts for her parents, her brother, her grandparents, various aunts, uncles and nieces, and a few people at work.

The problem was Hal. She didn't particularly want to get him anything, but she had the sinking suspicion that he was going to get her an even more embarrassingly lavish gift than last year, and couldn't quite bring herself to snub him entirely. It would also be really uncomfortable if he found out she'd bought something for Denise in the public complaints department and nothing for her cameraman, whom she worked with closely (too closely for her liking) almost every day. She'd been friends with Denise since her first week at KMCP 8, when the older woman had given her some invaluable pointers— and especially since Denise had the charming habit of showing up at her desk and asking her out to lunch before Hal could get the chance to do so.

Giving Denise a gift made all the sense in the world. She liked Denise. Hal, however…he was nice enough, but she knew she'd only be buying him a present to avoid the guilt and because she pitied him in a way. For the time being, she was on the fence, and knew she was going to avoid making any kind of decision until the last possible moment. Heck, never mind that she didn't even want to get Hal anything in the first place; she didn't even know what to get him if she did buy him something.

Then there was Metro Man. As he was a record collector, he was blessedly easy to shop for. She'd gotten him a rare mint condition The Shadows vinyl record that she knew he'd treasure. She looked forward to getting his traditional thank you call on Christmas day.

Sighing with the mixed emotions present shopping for the holidays always stirred up in her, she trudged on, hefting her (thankfully not too heavy) shopping bags into a more comfortable grip in her hands.

As usual, Metro Man naturally sent her train of thought rolling towards Megamind.

She wondered whether Megamind would be getting any gifts this year. For all intents and purposes, he was the kid that usually got coal in his stocking.

In her opinion, Megamind didn't really deserve any gifts, but somebody being alone and gift-less on Christmas— even somebody like Megamind— was a pretty gloomy thought. She was sure Minion would do something for him, though.

As she walked by an alternative clothing store window, she stopped for a moment, shaking her head and smirking at the tacky Kiss knockoffs on display; knee-high platform boots, complete with their thick soles painted like fangs and with diamond-shaped, studded kneepads.

That was exactly the kind of flamboyant thing he'd love to receive as a present— and would wear with pride, too, probably thinking they made him appear menacing rather than ridiculous.

Well, he wasn't going to get them from her, anyway. She had a surprise of a whole different kind in store for him.

Roxanne sighed as she heard the screech of tires and saw a door opening seemingly out of nowhere, a familiar figure stepping out of it, smirking at her.

Speak of the devil…

She'd hoped she'd at least have time to swing by the station and stash her shopping bags under her desk first, but no such luck. What if she lost some of the gifts or they broke?

It'd be worth it, though, she'd make sure of that.

The first mistake he'd made was to still go through with his plans, even without Minion. Really, what were the odds that his spare gorilla robot suit malfunctioned right before they needed it— the one instance he hadn't had the opportunity to repair the regular one, which had been badly damaged after their last run-in with Metro Man? He'd been able to do some quick tinkering on the spare to get it working again, but it still required extensive charging; hopefully, it would be warmed up by tonight, but he wasn't sure exactly when.

He'd have loved to post-pone, but unfortunately, it was the perfect evening for this; it was the only evening for this. Metro Man was going to lead the tree lighting ceremony as usual, and how evil wouldn't it be to interrupt that? To ruin the most beloved Metrocity holiday tradition of all?

Not only that— his part in it was tradition, too! The public expected him to ruin their ceremony. He couldn't let his audience down, so to speak.

They only even had that ludicrously humongous tree— bigger than the one at Rockefeller Center, the mayor always bragged— because Mr. Show-Off could fly it over to the square in front of City Hall in a heartbeat and didn't need a ladder to decorate or light it. Bah. Such blatant flaunting of powers that he hadn't strived for but that had simply been handed to him deserved to be disrupted, not greeted by a chorus of amazed oohs and aahs. It was distasteful, the blind way in which they worshipped him.

But these digressions aside…where it had really all gone to pieces was when he'd gone to get Miss Ritchi.

He should've known that she of all people wouldn't simply faint at the sight of him. Had Minion been there, he might've pointed this out.

Megamind, however, had shrugged and thought it was about time, glad that his most terrifying outfit yet hadn't been for nothing. He was supposed to be scary. He was scary. Horrible. Something to be feared.

He'd frowned at the limp body in his arms. Too used to Minion doing all the lifting, he'd barely even remembered to catch her before she hit the pavement. Maybe he'd overdone it with the black eyeliner, he'd wondered. Maybe he looked too sinister.

Scoffing at himself, he'd ignored it and had gone to work on tucking away the prone Miss Ritchi, not to mention her three shopping bags, into the back of the invisible car.

On the way to Evil Lair, however, he caught himself frowning at his reflection in the rearview mirror and then surreptitiously checking his breath, wondering, worrying, a hard, cold little something wiggling in his stomach for a moment—

—a very short moment, though, because then he had bigger things to worry about.

Like the fact that Miss Ritchi wasn't out cold at all, and was currently pressing the barrel of a gun to the back of his head.

"You just keep on driving, Megamind…oh, and you need both hands on the steering wheel, so don't try anything funny," she practically purred, her voice unsettlingly sweet as she reached down and removed his ray gun from its holster on his hip, completely disarming him.

He gulped.

During the drive, Megamind had several times considered just driving around in circles and never arriving at his lair, but he knew it wouldn't take long before she'd catch on.

Besides, she must've noticed his shifty eyes, because she'd pushed the barrel of the gun closer against his head, leaning towards him. "I told you…no funny business, Megamind," she'd warned, shaking her head sternly.

This wasn't like the other times people had pointed guns at him. Every so often, he came across cops wanting to play hero, but when they actually came face to face with him, they were so scared out of their wits that they just stood there shaking, dropped their guns, ran away or even fainted.

Miss Ritchi hadn't been even remotely frightened of him for years.

She wasn't talking much back there, simply grinning as she unwaveringly kept the gun pressed to the back of his bare head. It felt like it was glued there, after a while. Her approach of barely even speaking to her hostage had completely caught him off balance. If she'd gotten it into her head to be such a "bad girl" all of a sudden, why didn't she go all out, make a thing of it? Gloat some more? Make some more threats? Tell him what she was going to do to him? Her wall of silence was freaking him out. This wasn't how you did it!

So he drove on, trying to ignore the cold sweat that had broken out all over his face and cursing the fact that he'd now be forced to find yet another new lair since she'd be bound to go public with the secret location. Maybe if he was lucky, Minion's robot body would be ready by the time they arrived, so they could try to stop her.

It wasn't until they pulled up into the parking space of his secret lair and she'd ushered him out of the car that he seemed to find his voice again.

"You're not leaving those there, if that's what you think," he reprimanded her, releasing every second of subdued fear, anger and frustration of the last fifteen minutes into that single, peevish remark.

Roxanne's gaze followed the line of his pointed finger, which was trembling with indignation, to the shopping bags still lying in the backseat. Her mouth curled into a saccharine smile. "Why, Megamind, are you offering to carry my bags for me? How absolutely darling of you!"

His lips stretched into a thin, tight line of vengefulness, the leather of his gloves creaking as his hands balled into fists. "Oh, so it's not enough that you've got me right where you want me— now you have to twist the knife as well?" he asked bitterly.

She nodded, her smirk advertising her supreme self-satisfaction. "Just because I can, Megamind…just because I can."

He grumbled as he pulled the bags out of the backseat, trying to keep one eye on her and the gun at all times. "Well, well, well…does Metrocity know how little it takes for Roxanne Ritchi to become mad with power— even a little power?" he inquired snidely. "Oh, how the holier-than-thou have fallen!"

Her smile was mendaciously angelic. "By all means, keep talking. It makes me laugh."

His brain couldn't seem to produce a proper comeback to that level of insolence right then, which only served to vex him more. He clutched the shopping bags too tightly, hoping there was something delicate and breakable in there.

They were greeted by a swarm of chattering and buzzing brainbots in the lab. By the way they were hovering left and right, their eyestalks busily scanning Miss Ritchi, himself and the shopping bags, he could tell they weren't quite sure how to interpret the unusual situation.

Megamind's heart leapt when he caught Miss Ritchi looking uncertain for the first time that day, his mind racing with possibilities.

"Call them off," she whispered by his ear, digging the gun gently but firmly into his ribs.

He knew it would be easy enough for the brainbots to disarm her, but it was hard to tell what she'd have time to do in those few seconds between his order to seize her and her actual capture. It was quite possible that she was merely bluffing, but he wasn't sure if he was willing to take the risk. If she didn't go as far as to harm him, there was no guarantee that she'd spare his brainbots, who were probably nothing more than machines to her, and expendable. He knew he could fix them, but he still didn't like to see them damaged. They could be so…so sentient sometimes.

And then of course, there was the fact that he'd spent years and years continuously kidnapping her. He supposed she had no reason whatsoever to show him any mercy.

Not often, but a couple of times, in those defenceless moments late at night as he was trying to get to sleep, he'd wondered what might happen if Roxanne Ritchi finally got fed up with being kidnapped one day. Sure, she didn't have any super powers or a gigantic brain, but she was really too clever for her own good, and didn't it only have to be a matter of time before she did…something, whatever it was?

This hadn't been what he'd imagined, though. Then again, he wasn't even quite sure what he'd imagined, just that there had been a general sense of itchy apprehension.

At the same time, there was a part of him— lodged somewhere between the fear and the dizzying sense of unfamiliarity— that was intrigued.

Why was she doing this? What was going to happen next? And how would it end?

He was aware on some kind of level that it was twisted, but there was also a sense of gratification. He'd actually gotten such an upstanding citizen as Roxanne Ritchi to plot against him, to use trickery for— for whatever her reason for this was. Finally, he'd provoked her, interested her enough that she even went as far as to break the game, went as far as to take an active role, surprise him— he couldn't help but feel great respect for her, even as he felt humiliated and offended over being put in this undignified position.

Also (and he didn't want to think too hard about the fact that he was even taking this into consideration), there was always the possibility that Miss Ritchi herself might get harmed in the struggle to grab the weapon away from her.

So with a sigh, he nodded at the brainbots. "Miss Ritchi isn't an intruder," he assured his babies, "she and Daddy are just going to…play a little game, that's all."

Forcing down a snicker, Roxanne smiled at the hovering robots. "Listen to your Daddy, now, go on," she cooed, throwing an arm around Megamind's narrow shoulders; squeezing him against her side for a moment. "We're great pals, look!"

A jolt went through Megamind's entire body at the spontaneous gesture. His arms tingled.

Convinced, the curtain of brainbots parted. Roxanne marched herself and Megamind right into their midst and past them, now appearing undaunted once more.

"Now what to do, what to do…" she said, feigning pensiveness.

Still flustered, Megamind jumped at the chance to roll his eyes derisively at her. "Oh, don't tell me you've gone this far when you don't even have a plan— you know, ama-tee-yers like you give the rest of us a bad name— I mean, a good name— I mean—"

Roxanne ignored his mockery. "Ah, there we go," she said brightly, as she spotted her target.

She heard him groan and saw his shoulders slump when he caught on. There, surrounded by rows of pointless but visually impressive blinky dials and Tesla coils and standing below the deactivated death traps hanging like lethal chandeliers above, was her old friend…the hostage chair.

"I'd hate to be rude," she purred, her breath and the barrel of the gun too close to the back of his neck for comfort; his comfort, "so please…go ahead and take a seat."

Letting out a longsuffering sigh, he trudged grudgingly towards the chair and sat down, immediately crossing his arms to show his defiance, his intense glare making him look as if he was attempting to melt the gun in her hand through sheer willpower alone. Either that, or he was badly constipated.

Pausing to take in the satisfying sight of their role reversal, she took a quick look around. "So…where's Minion today?"

Megamind answered the question only when he realized he couldn't think of an appropriate lie. Because what else could Minion possibly want to be doing on a big night like this; such a special, annual occasion? He should've made up something on the way over, he knew now, but it had been surprisingly hard to be all creative when there was a gun aimed at his head. "Minion's robot body was in need of some repairs. It's charging right now, and it'll probably be a while," he muttered.

So much for the ambush.

Roxanne exhaled quietly, relieved. Minion was actually an unexpectedly nice person for a professional Igor with the head of a fish and the body of a mechanical gorilla. He was always polite, upbeat and friendly towards her, even taking her side sometimes when she and Megamind had their little games of wits. It was probably all kinds of wrong, as he was instrumental in her monthly or even weekly kidnappings, but there was no way around it: The thought of having to threaten Minion with a gun soured her stomach. She could already picture the betrayed and disappointed look on his little face.

"Good." Composing herself, she smirked as she calmly removed her gloves, stuffed them in her coat pocket and pulled a pair of handcuffs out of her handbag. Megamind, on the other hand, she had no trouble threatening and keeping captive.

Roxanne watched as his face turned a paler shade of blue.

She was really going to enjoy this.

By the time she'd secured his hands to the back of the chair, looping the little chain of the handcuffs through the metal bars of the back, and had tied his legs to the chair with some rope she'd found, Roxanne had to admit to herself that she was starting to feel a bit giddy.

He was such a sore loser, sullenly watching her the whole time and criticizing her methods of restriction like some disapproving old high school teacher— as if he didn't even realize that you shouldn't exactly be giving your captor bondage pointers.

This was fun!

Something seemed to be missing, though.

Ah. Right. The finishing touches.

Flouncing off to her shopping bags, she returned with a handful of decorations.

"'Tis the season," she announced mischievously, right before she wrapped a shimmering length of tinsel around his neck like a long scarf. For good measure, she tied a red ribbon around his knees before leaning back to admire her handiwork.

Ah, this was so worth it.

Now he was gawking at her as if she was not only supremely impertinent, but also certifiably insane. "What am I, one of those decorative trees you people insist on dragging inside your living rooms every year? What do you want with me, woman?"

"Uh-uh," she shook her head, as if scolding a naughty child, "just wait and you'll see."

He tilted his head at her in annoyed resignation. "Oh, so it's more suspense now, is it? Miss Ritchi, I'm starting to believe there won't even be an actual climax to your plot and that you're just stalling to avoid facing your inescapable embarrassment."

"Nope, it's just another day on the job for me," she told him lightly.

"Just another—" he began, outraged; then he choked. Oh, nooo…no, no, NO…! To his horror, she was now fiddling with the controls that, if operated correctly, would allow her to broadcast this entire embarrassing predicament live for the viewing pleasure of the people of Metrocity.

Megamind saw and heard her turn the power on, watched with increasing dismay as she carelessly flicked switches and adjusted a slightly loose cable. The two cameras trained on the chair, which should've been occupied by Miss Ritchi, now buzzed and glowed menacingly at him, waiting to record. The only thing left was for her to send the clearance signal to the handful of brainbots downtown who'd been sent ahead to film the inevitable disappointment of the hopeful children and adults who'd turned up for the ceremony.

"How did you know how to do that?" he demanded, startled.

Turning around, she put her hands on the swell of her womanly hips and gave him an overbearing look. "Oh, come on— not only am I around broadcasting equipment every day at my job, but you've kidnapped me how many times? I've seen you doing this over and over. After a while, people do tend pick up a few things," she added dryly. "Or maybe you're just starting to repeat yourself too much?"

Megamind spluttered.

Ignoring his incoherent protests, Roxanne took the time to smooth down her clothes and run a delicate hand through her hair before she grinned wickedly at her hostage.

"Smile for the camera, Megamind," she chirped, and pushed the last button, starting up the show.

Megamind held his breath. Within ten seconds, he saw himself and Miss Ritchi displayed on the monitors of the lair, in turn showing them as they appeared on the single, giant monitor the brainbots had now managed to set up by City Hall.

"Good evening, Metro City!" Roxanne's perky greeting reverberated in the lair. "This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from…" she paused, grinning down at Megamind, who'd gone rigid with fear that she'd reveal the location of his secret lair, but she went on smoothly: "…an undisclosed location, and I'm here to inform you there will be no traditional interruptions during the tree lighting ceremony this year," Roxanne announced cheerfully, grinning wider still as she patted her captive's large, domed head like a puppy. Mortified beyond words, Megamind could only growl at the citizens watching. "Happy holidays, and have a good one. Roxanne Ritchi signing off."

In the lair, Megamind soundlessly breathed out. She hadn't tattled on him. Why hadn't she tattled on him?

Onscreen, the crowd gathered in a loud cheer.

"A big hand for Metro City's own Roxanne Ritchi, everybody!" came the familiar voice of Metro Man, who'd been hastily handed a microphone from the Mayor. The cheers rose to a crescendo when Metro Man, apparently in honor of her, decided to light the tree an hour early.

Smiling happily to herself, her cheeks pink as she drank in the sight of the gorgeous, glittering, multi-colored lights, the star on top sparkling gold, Roxanne turned off the live transmission from the lair and muted the sound on the speakers, still watching the joyous crowd gathering around the tree.


She was humming to herself under her breath as she removed her coat and scarf and placed them across his desk, as if she was some sort of guest that was making herself comfortable. Didn't she even care that Minion might show up at any minute now, and that she might then become the one tied to the chair— the way it should be?

Damn her and her red woolen sweater that gently hugged her ample curves, damn her and the way she was now smoothing down the fine, soft-looking hairs at the nape of her neck, which must've been ruffled by her scarf—

Just damn her in general.

When a few brainbots floated towards her to investigate, she didn't seem nervous. Rather, she stroked one of the snooping creatures across its domed head, like you would a cat.

It was insufferable!

Fuming, he was unavoidably reminded of how she'd just treated him. On camera. In front of the entire city. Patting his head like a pet's.

He should've already known something was up when he was cruising around in the invisible car to find the perfect spot to ambush her. He'd noticed she was wearing pants. She nearly always wore a dress or a skirt to work, probably to look more appealing to the viewer's at home…and to impress her boyfriend when he came to rescue her. But not today, even if today was a tradition.

Gargh. He would get his revahnge. He would.

And yet…yes, she'd captured and humiliated him, but she also hadn't sent Metro Man after him, and she seemed more cheerful than vindictive. It was almost making him wonder whether she was planning on simply letting him go after she'd had her fun— but then there was still the gun, which made it all pretty nerve-wracking. In fact, this was sort of more bewildering and intriguing than it was infuriating. Not that she was going to find out about that, though.

He scowled at his intruder as he noticed that the brainbot currently making happy little noises and circling her petting arms was Pinky, the "female" one, so named because she was…uh, pink.

It figured. Women and their unpredictable ways!

Then he heard a couple more brainbots, these the standard "male" blue ones, starting to bark excitedly at the reporter, wanting her attention.

Traitors! What next? Would they ask her to play fetch?

By now, he was practically panting with the unbearable amount of curiosity she'd built up inside of him. She still hadn't given him any straight answers. "Why are you doing this?" He snapped, glowering at her.

Somewhat surprised at the sudden outburst, she still only regarded him in a calm manner, her hand resting on top of Pinky's head. "Because the citizens of Metro City deserve to have their annual tree lighting ceremony left in peace for once," she explained simply, tilting her head at him.

Skepticism raised his eyebrows. "Uh huh."

Roxanne merely shrugged. "Fine. You want some more selfish reasons? Ones that are easier for somebody like you to understand? How about I wanted to see the tree lighting ceremony for once, hmm? Because of you, I always miss it!" she informed him, her voice picking up a slightly sharper quality as she went, "There's also payback, good ol' fashioned curiosity…and hey, you can't blame a girl for wanting to mix things up a little, right?"

Megamind pursed his lips in irritation. "Are you implying I don't keep things interesting enough for you, Miss Ritchi?"

"Implying isn't strong enough of a word," she deadpanned, leaving the small cluster of brainbots gradually increasing in size around her and sauntering across the floor, her shapely legs propelling her further away from him.

There was a small stab of panic in his gut. He still had no idea when Minion would show up to help him. "Surely Miss Roxanne Ritchi, paragon of virtue, isn't going to leave somebody tied up, especially during this time of year?" he called after her, hastily reassuring himself that he wasn't doing anything that might be interpreted as begging and be used against him at a later opportunity.

Pausing at his desk, Roxanne grinned at him over her shoulder. "Oh, no…don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I've always wanted to check this place out and see how many things all those biographies have gotten wrong about you."

He gasped. "WHAT?"

"I'll be right back. Don't move, okay?" She walked off, her aggravating chuckles trailing after her.

And of course she hadn't even bothered to turn off the monitors before she left, so he was forced to endure the blindingly white smile of Metro Man spread across twenty-three monitors of varying sizes.

Thank Tesla she had at least muted the sound.

What he was starting to privately refer to as the Megamind Humiliation Tour had now lasted for about half an hour, and was still going strong.

So far, Roxanne Ritchi had poked and prodded and taken pictures of every finished and half-finished robot and gadget in the lab with what she'd called the camera on her "sell fone", picked at the sparse contents of his fridge, complaining over the lack of decent food, and commented on the many notes and diagrams hanging suspended from his ceiling and tacked up on his bulletin boards:

"And here's a picture of Metro Man entitled "Mega-ham". Aww, and you've drawn a little ham with wings. That's really…clever."

"Your sarcasm won't work on me, newsie," he'd assured her, scowling.

"Now here's a more sensible one: 'Get milk'. Yeah, you should, and get some bread, butter, vegetables and some other stuff while you're at it, too. No wonder you're so skinny."

"Miss Ritchi, do I tell you how to eat?"

"'Buy monocle'? What, are you gonna get yourself one of those twirly moustaches and start tying me to the railroad tracks now, too?"

"Maybe I will!" he'd shouted defiantly, aware that it probably didn't sound as threatening to her as it'd sounded in his head.

And now…now she was going through his DVD collection and singing, as if she were…were baking cookies or something rather than trespassing in an infamous supervillain's lair. He swore, that woman was the most impudent, mindbogglingly fearless person he'd ever known. Had she no sense of danger or self-preservation? It was a downright miracle her bloodline hadn't gone extinct years ago.

Yet somehow, he was the one tied to a chair, and she was the one holding the gun. This inconvenient truth was eating at him.

"On our way from Stockholm, it started to snow," Roxanne hummed quietly as she sifted through the shelf of DVDs. Since he'd always been fond of choosing his own soundtrack for his villainous adventures and she'd already been subjected to his taste in music more than enough times (and loudly so), she'd foregone the record collection, going straight for the movies. There were…really rather a lot of them, which made sense since he and Minion couldn't exactly go for a night on the town.

"And you said it was like Christmas, but you were wrong," she sang under her breath, whistling tunelessly for a moment as she flipped through a big stack of what she knew from experience often were the mandatory components of the movie collection of a guy of a certain age: The Superman movies, the first two Terminators, Predator, the Godfather trilogy, all the Alien movies, all Die Hards, Bladerunner, tons of Bruce Lee movies, Wrath of Khan— and oh, look, the first three Star Wars— well, almost everybody owned those, including herself.

The Halloween he'd kidnapped her when she went dressed as Princess Leia had been particularly embarrassing, although she'd never seen him quite that sweaty and awkward around her. Good thing she hadn't gone with the gold bikini outfit, at least.

Roxanne clucked her tongue. Well, this wasn't very exciting at all. Who knew a guy this eccentric would have such a standard collection of movies?

She searched on, curiously opening the metal drawer on the bottom. She started singing again, still softly and absentmindedly, as she rummaged through the drawer. "It wasn't like Christmas at all…"

The singing tapered off.

The Little Mermaid.

Megamind, self-proclaimed incredibly handsome master of all villainy, owned a copy of The Little Mermaid.

Roxanne barely even realized she'd giggle-snorted out loud until Megamind shouted at her.

"Why are you laughing?" he demanded, desperately trying to turn around in his chair so he could see her. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, noooothing!" Roxanne called out, all innocent sing-song. Well, she wasn't fooling him.

He cringed, cursing all things reporter-shaped. It had now become excruciatingly clear to him that she must've found his The Little Mermaid DVD. He vowed to throw it out first thing tomorrow.

Grunting in frustration, he hunched up his shoulders and settled down for a good sulk. This was only temporary. Sooner or later, he'd be bound to get his revahnge.


Meanwhile, Roxanne had stopped laughing. She'd made yet another discovery.

This one didn't make her want to laugh at all.

Starting with a copy of As Good As it Gets, she'd realized she was now pulling up film after film that she herself owned.

A distressed little noise tried to flee her mouth; she squashed it down. Casablanca, Punch-drunk Love, Edward Scissorhands, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Lost in Translation, Singin' in the Rain…they were all there, and more. Many more.

Roxanne pulled an uncomfortable face. Shit. Half her film collection mirrored the film collection of one of the most infamous convicted felons in the world.

What does that say about me? she wondered, absentmindedly fiddling with a copy of Stranger than Fiction. Or perhaps even more unsettlingly; what did it say about him?

She'd always known those books about Megamind were riddled with incorrect information— a lot of them were simply written to cash in on people's curiosity about the criminal celebrity, anyway, rather than any genuine interest on the author's part— but she hadn't expected them to be this far off the mark. One author had guessed his favorite movie was Silence of the Lambs. Yeesh! Talk about sensationalizing.

Was Megamind attempting to study human nature and human relationships like the alien scientist he was, or was he like her; preferring movies that were more quiet, character-driven, down-to-earth or at least blessedly devoid of any car explosions because he already had such an action-packed, adventurous life?

A distinctly troubled something curling in her belly, Roxanne quickly decided she was done with his DVD collection for the time being.

Author's note: Concluded in chapter two.

A big thank you goes out to patcot2007 and borg_princess from the Megamind LJ community, who both volunteered to beta read for me. Thank you for the encouraging words and the helpful criticism. :)

EDIT (05.01.2011): Changed "Thank Edison" to "Thank Tesla", because I was never quite happy with "Edison"...and then TigerQueen mentioned Tesla in her review. Thanks for that. ;)

Also changed "cell phone camera" to "what she'd called the camera on her 'sell fone'", to echo Megamind's apparent unfamiliarity with the common telephone in the movie.

Tree lighting ceremony: The Rockefeller center one takes place November 30th. I put the Metro City one on December 1st simply because I wanted it to be in December. *shrugs*

Megamind's bulletin board: "Mega-ham", "get milk" and "monocle" are from his actual bulletin boards in the Megamind game.

Roxanne's song: Just Like Christmas by Low.

Megamind's "other" stash of movies: Not trying to project my tastes in movies onto our villain/hero or our heroine. The movies themselves aren't THAT important. You can copy/paste your own taste in movies there in your head, if you like. Just trying to make Roxy uncomfortable, hahah. :P

Why Stranger than Fiction? Well, obviously because it stars Will Ferrell, the voice of Megamind, but also because it's about a man seemingly trapped by a destiny that, against all odds, he ultimately escapes. Eh? Eh? Geddit? HOLEESHITE, I R TTLY DEEP. D:

The other films were chosen because they're all about basically ordinary but lonely and kind of weird people (some even outcast-like) in a non-action/fantasy setting (Edwards Scissorhands does have a fantasy element to it, though). Except for Singin' in The Rain, which was chosen because I thought Megs might like that whole Lina Lamont thing, with her being worshipped despite not being talented, and then the public finding out that the overlooked Kathy, hiding in the shadows, so to speak, had the real talent all along. I'm sure he'd like for Metro Man to be "exposed" like that somehow (except that Mets does have powers and talent and was a real hero, he just couldn't take it anymore). As for Casablanca…eh, well, you gotta have Casablanca, I guess. :P

The Little Mermaid: Because the thought of Megs crying over the scene where Ariel sings how much she wants to be part of another world she thinks she can't be part of is both sad and funny. :D