Two months ago the woman who owned my heart agreed to be mine forever. Every day since has made me fall deeper in love with Bella. I see her struggle at times with her new life, the serenity of our little existence sets her off into panic attacks as if without constant chaos an even bigger tragedy must be hiding around every corner. Each night as I hold her close I hear her relive her nightmares, feel her pain pierce my heart.
But there is progress as well, though only someone who knew Bella's past would be able to see it. Her melodious laugh fills the air more frequently now and her smile comes easier. She no longer looks over her shoulder every ten seconds when we are out. She was even able to stand up to that jackass Jacob Black.
When Bella once again went to drop Mason off to spend time with him he quickly spotted the ring on her finger and decided to share his opinion on our upcoming nuptials.
"Are you fucking serious Bella? You actually think you're gonna make it down the aisle with that guy?"
"It's none of your business Jacob, it's between Edward and me."
"Poor fucker know what he's getting into?"
"He knows everything and he's helping me deal with it all."
"What about Mason in all of this? Did you think about him for one second while you were spreading your legs?"
"Fuck you Black! Mason is always on my mind and I'm lucky enough to have found a family and a man who love him. They don't just want him around when it's convenient unlike some people who spend all their time with a bottle in their fucking hands!"
"Don't make me sound like some kind of drunk Bella, that's bullshit and you fucking know it."
"No, I don't. God I used to think you were such a good person but it was an illusion. You're just as selfish and mean as all the rest of them, you just put a better cover over all the ugliness. I'll tell you what I do know, if you can't treat me with the respect I deserve as his mother, and if you can't calm down your partying, you won't be in his life anymore. I won't have you poisoning him."
When Alice relayed the conversation to me I felt like jumping up and down in my seat or doing a victory dance worthy of the Superbowl. I was so full of pride, love, and lust it almost killed me having to wait until night time to ravish my brave fiance. Which I did. Twice.
I couldn't seem to help myself. Everytime her scent assaulted me or that beautiful blush fanned across her cheeks my body responded. I felt like a teenager in love for the first time and perpetually aroused. Luckily Bella's desire matched my own. I'd woken up more than once to warm kisses on my neck and a hand stroking me to hardness.
My family, our family, couldn't be happier about our engagement. My mom and Alice had cried and danced and hugged us both to within an inch of our lives when we made the announcement. Rose danced around with Mason giggling in her arms. The men took turns hugging Bella and welcoming her to the family before giving me punches on the shoulders and warnings about treating "their girl" right. They had it wrong though. She was my girl and I would strive to make her feel joy and love everyday for the rest of forever.
The memories filled me up and my mouth took on the ridiculous grin that graced my face daily as I sat on the couch waiting for Bella to return from her errands. The house was so quiet with just me there, the usual sounds of sarcasm and life strangely absent but Mason's fondness for the local park had coaxed everyone away for the day.
I was suddenly laughing recalling the last time I took him to the park and the in unison eye rolls we received from all of the women of the house at being covered in dirt and leaves when I heard the front door open.
Bella walked in looking pale and shaky. My legs couldn't get me there fast enough before her knees gave out and she clung desperately to the table by the door.
"Bella, what's wrong sweetheart? Here let me help you." I hooked my arm around her waist and practically carried her to the couch. As gently as possible I put her down and grasped her clammy hands with mine.
"Love, please talk to me, you're scaring the shit out of me. Where were you?"
Her breathing was short and raspy but what got me were her eyes. The bottomless browns pools swam with tears and refused to look at me. Her vehemant words clashed with the lost look on her panicked face.
"I want you to know that I love you Edward, I need you to believe that. Please." A tear fell and was quickly followed by others.
My heart was hammering in my chest out of pure fear. "Of course I know you love me sweetheart. You've gone through your own personal Hell to be with me so I know that with certainty. Just as I hope you know that I love you."
She nodded and her hands finally closed around mine. The small reassurance calmed me enough to wait for her to speak again.
"Edward, I'm pregnant."
The world stopped. All of the blood in my body pooled in my chest around my stuttering heart. Bella was having a baby, my baby. There was going to be a small person running around the world that was created by our love. Mason was going to be a big brother and I was going to be a dad.
"Edward say something, please." The tears were flowing freely now down her creamy cheeks.
"I'm sorry love, I'm just in shock. Though I guess I shouldn't be with all of those late night, um, interludes. We weren't too careful huh? But why would this make me question your feelings for me?"
Apparently becoming a father makes me rather ineloquent when I speak.
"I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to trap you or something. This wasn't planned, I swear."
I laughed before sliding down off the couch to kneel in front of her.
"Love, I need you to listen to me and really hear me. I do not feel trapped. Yes it's unexpected but some of the best things in the world are. Sweetheart I cannot explain to you how happy I am about this."
She lifted her eyes but kept her head down. Behind all of the fear in her face was a glimmer of hope. "Really?"
I nodded my head before leaning in to give her a soft kiss and leaned my forhead against hers. "Yes Bella really. Thinking of you growing round and glowing, of Mason reading to his little brother or sister, Love this is the best surprise I could ever receive."
Bella broke into sobs at my words, the relief evident on her face, before she threw herself into my arms.
"Please Edward, just hold me. Pretty soon I'll be too fat for your arms to reach around my body."
I chuckled and did just as she asked. The argument was on the tip of my tongue because nothing could prevent me from holding her close to me, her and our children. This was life, from the darkest corners, to the greatest joy, and I would hold on tight till the end of my days.