Suppertime in the Pit

By: Danny Pic

Here's another little "slice of life" crackfic I thought up. I just randomly thought of this idea while watching the re-make of King Kong, and then the pieces just kinda fell in from there. ^-^
I know it's a cliché concept, but just bear with me, please.

And if you like it, I might be tempted to start a little mini-series with these characters. Just let me know if you like it, ok?

So, as usual, I don't own anything here. Hope you enjoy!

The sun rose on another spring day on Skull Island. As the warm light spread across the island, the local dinosaurs began to stir for another day of running around, eating, and chasing each other. However, because of the dense forests which covered most of the island, certain areas didn't receive the first light of the day until much later. So for most of the day, these areas of the island had nothing to go by but their internal clocks or by looking at other creatures.

As the dawn came, a small carnosaur woke from its sleep; however, as it had only just woken up, it wasn't fully aware of its surroundings. So as it groggily searched for some breakfast, it didn't notice the giant chasm before it until it had already stepped into it. As it fell, it roared out dramatically, as if yelling to get back to the surface. Alas, it fell down, down, down into the bottom…of the Pit.

Several minutes after the beast fell to its death, a small voice rang out. First it yawned; then, a small shrimpy voice called out, "Oh, what a splendid day!" The creature emerged from a rotting log, revealing itself to be a giant cricket about the size of a dog*. The cricket stretched its back legs, and looked around. It wondered where all the others were, seeing that there was nobody else around. "Oh," it said as a realization, "I must be the first one up! I had best wake up the others; a delicacy this large mustn't be wasted on one so small as I."

It clambered up on top of a high-looking pillar, and began to rub its legs together. The resulting chirrups rang throughout the chasm, with the voice, "Wake up, everyone! It's time for breakfast!"

All around, the other creatures began to stir from the crevices and cracks in the walls and on the ground. A black arachno-claw – a crab-like spider with pincers – snuck out first, half-hiding behind the rocks and fallen trees which littered the floor. It scuttled out of hiding and asked, "Well my chirruping friend, what is on the menu for today?"

"I hope it's another hadrosaur!" called out another arachno-claw – a dark blue one, more energetic than its counterpart.

The giant cricket motioned to the dinosaur which lay dead in the clearing. "It seems," he stated, "that one of the carnivorous dinosaurs fell down today."

"There wasn't anything else that fell down?" asked a deep voice behind the cricket. The voice belonged to one of the giant Carnictis worms which only lived in the warm wet conditions of these chasms. This one, however, was an older worm, and therefore much larger than the regular ones which often crawled about.
The giant cricket looked to the worm, and sadly replied, "I'm sorry, Mr. Squiggles, that's all that fell down. We'll all have to share this one."

"Aw, fiddle-sticks," Mr. Squiggles the worm replied. "Well, I suppose I'll have to wait until something bigger falls down."

"Aw, cheer up Squiggly!" the blue arachno-claw spoke up. "You can eat the head, if ya want!"

The worm smiled (I don't know how, but he did), and replied, "That's very generous of you, Christopher. Thank you for sharing." Christopher chuckled, and replied in a mock-regal tone of voice, "Why, the pleasure was all mine, good sir." The both of them laughed together at that.

"Well," began the black arachno-claw, "shall we all get started? I'm a bit hungry, so I'd like to dig in before our breakfast rots away."

Everyone nodded, and was about to dig into the meat, when the cricket suddenly shouted, "WAIT! Where's Cassy? We can't start our meal without somebody; that'd be inconsiderate!"

"Normally I would agree," Squiggles replied, "but in case you forgot, David, Cassandra already said she wasn't going to be with us, remember? She said she was spending some time with her, uh, friend?"

"Ah, right," David the cricket replied, "I remember now. Man, they've been going out for a while now, haven't they?"

"Yeah they have," answered Christopher. "Well, I suggest we go ahead and tuck in before my brother decides to molt in front of everyone here."

They all agreed, and gathered around the dead saurian carcass. But once they had completely encircled the reptile, they didn't immediately begin eating it. Instead, they all bowed their heads down – and put their chelicerae or claws, for those who had them, together – and waited. Mr. Squiggles mumbled something inaudibly, and then all simultaneously spoke an affirmation. Then the great worm replied louder, "Everyone…let breakfast begin."

And so everyone began to eat. Mr. Squiggles, as promised, was given the head, which he swallowed whole. Another cricket came over and wiped the worm's toothy mouth with a large leaf. The worm finished swallowing, and thanked the cricket; he added that he would've done it himself, had he possessed hands…or limbs, for that matter.

Christopher and his brother were busily munching on the beast's ribs. Christopher paused, and noticed how…voraciously his sibling was consuming his share of the meat. "Hey, Tom," he asked, "you seem hungrier than usual. Is everything ok?"

The black-colored spider-like creature quickly swallowed his bite, and replied, "Yeah. I just haven't had anything to eat. I missed dinner yesterday."

"Yeah, I remember you weren't here last night. What happened; were you attacked?"


"Well, then what happened?"

"I was late for a meeting."

"Aah…I see," the blue arachno-claw said with a naughty, uh…"grin" on his…face?

"Stop that," Tom replied, hurt. "I'm serious; there really was a meeting!"

"Really? Then what was it about?"

"If you must know, I was meeting up with my doctor."

"Doctor? Oh my, I hope you're not in trouble."

"Would you relax? It's nothing major; I just had a check-up to get done. I'm not sick, nor do I have any contagious diseases."


"Yes, I'm sure."

"Ok, good."

Another arachno-claw, this one red, chuckled from their right. "It's alright, Chris; we know how much of a germophobe you are, so we'll let you know."

"I'm not a germophobe!" Chris stated defiantly. "I'm genuinely concerned for my little brother."

Tom laughed; he inquired, "Ya mean like that time you used me as bait to lure in that tyrannosaur?"

"Hey," Chris replied, "I already told you. That was for science."

After about half an hour, the body of the carnosaur was stripped bare of meat. And, since there was no other substantial amount of meat that had fallen down afterwards, the aptly-named "chasm critters" decided that it would be best to return to their own business. Most of them, like Mr. Squiggles the Carnictis, decided to retire back to their caves and crevices in the walls and on the floor. David the giant cricket clambered up on top of the pillar he used to announce things. "Good morning, everyone!" he said, "And have a good rest!" He then crawled back to his rotting log to sleep, as well. Christopher was still upset at having been labeled that. He was not a germophobe…he just liked clean things. His brother Tom finally got him to calm down, and the two arachno-claws scuttled away into their cracks within the wall.

And just like that, the canyon walls returned to a peaceful silence… until lunchtime, that is.

Alright, so how'd I do? Hope I didn't bore you to death.

As I said before, I know it's a bit cliché – y'know, gross things act refined and dignified –, and I'm sure it's an over-used story. But I can't help it! I thought it'd fit.

My basic idea was, well, just that: "How do the bugs and slimy critters in the Pit act when they eat?"
The whole concept started with me envisioning the bugs following proper eating etiquette. (i.e.: "Excuse me, why are your elbows on the table?", and "Don't talk with your mouth full!", etc.)

So then after that, it spiraled onwards, until this little idea came out.

Well, in any case, read and review please!

* –Just in case you're curious, I later discovered that the cricket is actually called a "Weta Rex". I didn't know that when I was writing this, so I stuck with "giant cricket" as a title.