The sun was shinning, birds were chirping and Angelus was growling and pacing about in complete frustration.

He had no business being up at this hour and it sure as hell wasn't doing him any good. Sleeping wasn't an option though, all he did was see her. He couldn't get it to stop.

She was just there. Always there.

There wasn't much of a difference when it came to being awake either.

Angelus felt as though his entire world had become wrapped around this damn girl. Trying to stay away from her was only making it worse.

Making everything worse.

The vampire sighed, one hand reached out to grip the wooden chair at his desk, the other rubbed at his aching eyes.

A few moments later the chair was crashing into several good pieces after being slung at the wall. He took several unneeded breaths before tossing his hands up in frustration towards the heavens then carefully walked out of the room and through his place, avoiding any rays pouring in from the few windows he'd had to pass, then reentered his bedroom.

Angelus' hands fisted at his side as the ever-present vision of Buffy Summers hit him, the insane craving to touch her striking him to the point of pain.

Angelus closed his eyes and counted to ten before taking the last few steps towards his giant bed, falling into the warm of it and closing his eyes once more. One hand reached out to grab a fistful of pillows and placed it over his head, as if that was any kind of protection from this insanity.

He lost track of how many times he had reawaken, briefly all but one other time, just enough to try shaking the cobwebs out of his head, check the time and ground his teeth together as he hoped the next dream to hit him would be of something, anything else.

It, however, never was.

It was close to sundown when Angelus officially gave up and began getting ready for the night ahead.

He enjoyed his long shower and sleepily drying off from it before changing and the full nightly routine of it all. Satisfied enough with the finished product, he exited his elaborate restroom and grabbed up his jacket as he headed for the front door.


Angelus was fighting every screaming instinct in him to go to her, hard as that was. It was a constant battle, one that he had lost for the first week and a half, since it had been nothing but a struggle to keep away.

He had been unable to help himself at the time, making sure he kept out of sight, but followed her every available moment he had under the cover of darkness. He never approached her, only watched. Somehow, he managed to stay away for an entire day... only to return the next evening... and that gradually faded too.

Heading off in the opposite direction than what would take him to the object of his affection, Angelus tried to focus on anything else.

He hunted, not really caring, less than ever at this point. The vampire checked in with some contacts, got a low life demon to go clean his place up after the damage he'd been causing back there. Then... he didn't know what to do with himself, he just wandered about aimlessly, trying to think about something, anything other than the blonde.

Fed up, a thought came to the vampire, only for a second.

Only for a passing second, Angelus thought of one way he could rid himself of this issue. A sinister smile, which that alone felt forced, graced his handsome face while an image of taking the young girl's life came and went.

That was what he did, that was his nature... But even thinking about it for just that quick moment had his knees giving out, his non-beating heart to erupt.

The vampire's knees hit the ground painfully, his hands that tried to brace himself as he coughed up the blood climbing back up his throat dug into the earth, searching for any kind of control. He felt feverish and freezing at the same time, overcome with sickness. And guilt.

When he finally found some grip on himself, he stood, his legs wanting to give out on him once again, but he managed to somehow stumble out of the old graveyard and racing, best that he could, back across town.

After what he had seen, after what he had planted in his own mind, and what he had felt because of it... he just needed to see her. More than he had ever needed anything in all his many years. He was desperate.

It didn't help matters any when he realized she wasn't at the diner as he approached and sticking with the schedule he knew, this was not normal.

He quickly turned and raced even faster towards her place, forgetting any logic he might have been holding on to as he raced up the side steps to her floor and burst in without bothering to knock.


Angelus reached her before the bowl of spaghetti she'd been carrying with her as she crossed over the front room heading for the sofa had hit the ground.

His large palms cupped her face, his fingertips toyed with back strands of her hair as he leaned his head down to hers, kissing her roughly.

She seemed to be in a state of shock in his arms there but he didn't care any. He walked with her backwards in a rush, pushing her hard into the closest wall, a few pictures from the wall being knocked off by the force. He suckled, nibbled on her bottom lips while sliding one hand to brace against the wall, the other down to cup her bottom now instead, helping lift her off the ground.

He helped her hook her toned legs around his waist, then he began to check her over, making absolute sure that she was alright, hadn't been harmed. That she was actually here, that the vision he'd created wasn't at all true.


When Angelus dared to pull away from her, his eyes lingered on the ground for a long time before lifting to meet hers. "You're not afraid," he spoke after a moment, his head tilting slightly to the side as he studied her.

Buffy shivered a little but shook her head. "I didn't know if I would see you again," she whispered.

He sighed, placed her back down on the floor and took a step back. His hands reached for his jacket pockets then he mentally cursed as he knew there was no more cigarettes to find in there, though right now nothing sounded better. "Hadn't exactly been in my plans," he muttered.

Tentatively, Buffy closed the space between the two of them again. Angelus braced his hands on the back of the sofa, his arms stretched out widely. She came to nudge his legs apart, just enough so she could squeeze between them, her body pressing softly against his. Her hands raised up carefully to him, dancing up his chest, his throat, then taking in his face. "Show me."

He growled, looking away. She was nervous but putting on a very good show for the contrary. He had to give her credit for that.

Buffy's thumb and index finger band together in team to grab his chin, pulling his attention back to her. She gnawed on her bottom lip for a quick moment before leaning down and softly brushing her lips to his. "Show me," she repeated.

It took some work on her part, but finally he revealed himself, the demon inside of him, to the girl. And he had never felt more exposed in his entire life than he did in that moment.

Again, waves of anxiousness rolled off of her, but it was far from the only emotion coming from her. Her fingertips danced across his face, getting to know what hid inside of him.

"Aren't you going to ask me?" he finally asked, his voice gruff.

She jerked back a bit at his voice, not having heard from him now in awhile. "Ask you what?"

"What I am."

She was silent for a good pause before, "I thought that was rather obvious," came out.

He forced himself not to be charmed by that statement, especially not with how she said it. "How I got to be this way," he continued.

Two slim fingers slid down his nose, his lips. She teased at his fangs, and he teased back.

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and say there was probably biting involved?" she answered.

His lips twitched this time, for a moment, before he got himself back under control. "If I'm going to harm you."

This changed the mood in the room greatly. Both of them stilled, stared into one another's eyes for what felt like an eternity.

"Are you?" she finally asked him.

"No," he answered, not having to think about it, and knowing full well it was the most truthful thing he'd said in his lifetime.