Willow sunk down to the floor. She put her head in her hands and cried. She tried to regroup, but failed. Her cries turned into short, quick hiccups. David was just so . . . angry. There was no other way to describe it. Willow remembers how red David's face had been when he finally did it. He yelled at her for causing their parents death. So why is Willow so sad. She had it coming-she wanted it to happen.
She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Only one thing could possibly ease the pain. She dug under her mattress until her fingers closed around the sharp-yet soothing-blade of the razor. Willow pulled up her sleeve and went to work. The blade bite felt good. It calmed her, but not enough to make her forget. She dug it deeper and deeper. Willow winced at the horrible pain.
The razor tore through layer after layer of skin. Willow gasped and dropped the blade. She had gotten rid of some of the pain, but not even close to all of it. She picked up the razor again and absentmindedly slashed at the cut. Now it wasn't just a cut, it was a bloody pool. Willow reached for an old T-shirt. As she wiped at her arm, the phone rang.
Willow assumed it was Markie, so she didn't answer. Minutes later, Willow was just sitting against her bed, still on the floor. This cut hurt more than any other cut she had made, but the pain of David yelling at her just wouldn't leave her. There was no way to describe how bad it hurt. Not the cut. David's words.
"You were perfectly capable of driving in the rain! You were just being stupid! You killed our parents!" David's words rung in her head.
Willow glanced at the locked door.
"It's me." Guy tried the knob again.
Willow stood, opened the door, pulled him in, and locked it again. Guy towed her to the bed. He examined the shirt she had wrapped around her arm.
"Can I see?"
Willow only hesitated for a moment before she nodded. Guy's gentle touch was enough to make her moan in pain. He took it off and looked. It was clear to Willow that Guy was on edge. He was aware she was close to cutting too deep. They sat in silence and breathed. Willow normally could handle the quiet, but it just bothered her so much. She wanted to hear Guy's voice. She wanted him to comfort her.
"I-I . . . It's just that . . ." She had nothing to say.
"As long as you don't kill yourself. It's . . . well . . . not okay, but not as bad. I thought this would be enough."
Willow thought the same. She feels the same. She though it would have been enough to make her kill herself. The only reason she won't kill herself is because of Guy. But now she started to consider grabbing her blades and running somewhere no one would find her. She would go and bleed to death.
I deserve a slow and painful death for what I did.
She reached under her mattress and pulled out a handful of razor blades. Willow neglected to realize Guy's presence. She crammed as many blades as possible into her jean pockets. Guy just sat and watched. Willow went to the door but froze. David was still out there. But if she ran fast enough, she might make it.
"Where are you going?" Guy was standing behind Willow with his hand on her shoulder.
"I don't deserve it."
"I. Don't. Deserve. To. Live." She spaced each word out.
Guy spun her around. "No. No, you can't leave. I won't let you go out there and fucking kill yourself."
Willow collapsed into Guy's arms. He held her tight and stroked her hair. Guy was the only thing holding her up so she didn't fall. His warm grip made her forget about David. David didn't matter. Guy did. And as much as she wanted to be secluded in her own world with no emotion, Guy always made them resurface. She could feel when she was around him. She could be happy.
Willow looked into Guy's eyes. He pulled her in and kissed her. This is what Willow had wanted to avoid, but now it didn't matter. She kissed him long and hard. Their bodies fit together perfectly as the kiss went on and on.
Despite the fact that David hated Willow, she felt loved for once.