Hey, guess what? It's not a month later for the update. But this is it. This story is finally done. It took much longer than expected, but now I can move on and write other things without feeling bad. Thank you all to those who have read this, continue to and are just all around awesome.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the plot.
Also, side note. If you have any random one-shot ideas (either with a story of mine or just something else entirely) or even multi-chapter ideas, PM me. I need inspiration for new fics.
"Logan, how are you?" Tom calls, as Logan steps into the shop.
"Hey, Tom. I'm good. You?" Logan tries to put on a genuine smile as he grabs a bottle of water, before walking to the register Tom is at. All his previous memories of this place fill his mind.
"Very well. How come you're here alone? Was James busy this weekend? I know you were last weekend."
Logan stares at him wide-eyed. James was here last weekend? And lied about them being together?
But as he stares at Tom, he can see why James didn't tell him. Tom looks too hopeful and happy to see him and he doesn't want to crush him. "I know. Our schedules just haven't linked up well. I figured since he was here last week, I'd come this week."
Tom nods back, "Well, you guys need to come together soon."
And it's Logan's turn to nod and then soon he's saying his goodbyes to him, so he can get on his way to the mountain.
But every memory of this town comes rushing back to him. That first time he and James came here.
It was an amazing weekend. Each one was. Being away from work and just spending all his time with James was great. And to have all of James' attention is something he's missed quite a lot.
And he could have it again. Maybe. At least he hopes he could.
It's been five days since he ran into James at the art show and he still hasn't called him. He wants to, he really does. He's just scared.
What if James realized that he doesn't want to be with Logan and that everything the other night was a mistake?
Kendall told him he was being ridiculous, that his mind was coming up with it's own misery. Everyday, Kendall would ask Logan if he has called him yet.
Logan eventually just told him that he will, but first he wanted to go to Norfolk to clear his head. Then he would.
He really does plan to call. Every day his mind thinks about seeing James again. Being back in their apartment together and having their life together again.
Though, he hopes it doesn't end the same way it did last time.
But he can't think about what could happen in the future. He needs to focus on the now.
That's what he's going to do. After reliving a bit of their past by coming up to Haystack Mountain.
Soon enough, he's standing at the watch tower, looking into the sea of trees.
It always takes his breath away being here. Staring out at the world in front of him. He never imagined how beautiful this could look not covered in snow, because he's only ever been here in the winter time.
"I shouldn't be surprised you're here," a familiar voice breaks Logan out of his thoughts.
He whips around, only to be met with the one person he's been thinking about. "Are you stalking me?" he jokes, smiling.
James laughs out, but shakes his head. "I promise I'm not. Though, sometimes it feels like it. I keep seeing you everywhere."
Logan chuckles, before looking down at his feet. "Were you here last week? Tom mentioned it." His gaze slowly goes back to James.
"Um, yeah..." And James is mentally freaking out, Tom probably asked him why he was so busy he couldn't be there and Logan would know about his lie. "I...he...you know, don't you?" He could see that knowing smirk on Logan's face.
"Yeah," he sighs. "But it's okay. I couldn't even admit to him that we broke up."
"Really?" James can't actually believe that Logan lied as well about them still dating.
He nods. "I think Tom would have been crushed to find out we aren't together anymore," he jokes.
They both laugh, still both trying to think of the perfect thing to say to the other.
After the laughs die down, James becomes serious, looking right at him. "Logan, I really am sorry. And I know that doesn't change anything or make what I did better, but I am. So much, and I wish I could go back and make it all right again."
Logan nods, taking in what he has said and he can see the sincerity in James' eyes. "It's fine. I think maybe we needed this." And Logan does think that maybe if they give their relationship another shot, that it will be stronger this time. Plus, he never would have met Kendall if it wasn't for their break-up.
"Well, it definitely opened my eyes to what an asshole I was."
"See, that's good," and Logan's still smiling.
"Do you think we'll ever get back to what we were?" James whispers.
Logan sighs, "I don't know. It's gonna be hard, because..." he decides to just tell James his fear, "...I don't want to be hurt again."
Stepping up to Logan, James cups his cheek, "I will never hurt you, Logan."
At hearing that, Logan steps back, making James' hand fall. "But you did. You used to say that you'd never hurt me and then you did. How do I know it won't happen again?"
"I won't let it. I can't lose you again, Logan."
"But you still don't know what will happen."
"I don't. But I'm not gonna let it."
"Because James, I can't do this again. This past year hurt too much." Logan looks almost on the verge of tears.
And James steps up to him again, this time holding Logan's face in both of his hands. "I know, and that's why I won't let this happen again." He can see the doubt in Logan's eyes. "Look, I know it's hard for you to believe me, I get that and I understand. But I promise, I love you too much to put you through this again." And he can't go through it again.
Finally, Logan meets James' gaze. He wants to believe and he supposes, deep down, he does. But he's still scared.
And there's Kendall's voice, telling him a life without risk is a life unlived. He does want to risk it with James. He'd risk possible heartache, just to have those amazing times again.
He wants to risk it, so he can wake up to this face again. To hear him say good morning. To kiss him goodnight. To come here a year from now.
And he knows it's going to be different and difficult and not like it was. But maybe because their relationship won't be exactly the same, means that it will end differently and will end in fifty years, rather than five.
Whatever happens though, he's ready to be with James again.
Those hazel eyes are burning into him, down to his core, into his soul, desperate to hear him say he wants this. And he's sure. He needs James again. Besides, he has to double date with Kendall and Carlos.
Logan leans up, bringing their lips together. James makes a surprised gasp, not expecting him to do that, but he immediately melts into Logan.
It's a soft kiss, not at all like the one they shared a few days ago. Just trying to show each other how much they need the other. Even after all the pain, they still need each other.
They pull apart and Logan's smiling up at James, "I love you."
James basically breathes a sigh of relief, "I love you too, so much." He goes in for one more quick kiss, before pulling back to stare into those brown eyes.
But Logan turns away, walking to the ledge, resting both hands on the cool stone beneath his palms.
James frowns slightly, but it is instantly turned into a smile when Logan speaks.
"At least now, we can come here when it's green with the flowers blooming, instead of snow."
Chuckling, James walks to stand next to him, "One year from now." He rests his hand on top of Logan's, linking their fingers together.
He sees Logan nod out of the corner of his eye, making his heart swell at the fact that Logan's already accepting they can still have a future together.
Smiling, James turns to look at Logan fully, who's grinning, staring out onto the hills. And they're going to try it. To risk possible pain, because the pain being away is greater. But James isn't going to let Logan drift away from him.
Continuing to stare out from the watch tower, James grips Logan's hand tighter, not wanting to let him go.