I apologize for the title. Actually- no. No, I don't.

Part five in the Sexploration universe.

xxx

"What're we gonna do with it, though? After- uh-" Zoro shifts uncomfortably where he's sprawled naked on the blanket-strewn crow's nest floor, clearing his throat as his gaze darts away from the oblong green object clutched in his captain's hand. "I mean, you can't just keep it under your pillow or something- it's eventually gonna rot."

"I dunno." Luffy shrugs. "Could always put it back." He immediately bursts into laughter at the horrified, repulsed look on his swordsman's face. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"

"Yeah, no, we're not putting it back. I don't care how good you wash it- I'm not making somebody, not even the shitty cook, eat something that's been in my ass. That's just fucking nasty."

"My tongue's been in Zoro's ass," the younger pirate points out, grinning. "You didn't have a problem with THAT."

"That-" Zoro coughs, heat flaring visibly across his cheeks. "Th-That's different!" He raises a foot and braces it against his partner's midsection, giving a firm push. "You WANTED to use your mouth on me, and I made you brush your teeth like twenty fucking times before I let you kiss me again- and- no, we're just gonna throw it overboard or something."

"Okay, fine, we'll do that," Luffy agrees, free hand sliding along the exposed underside of his first mate's thigh. "But first-" His expression darkens, sunny smile turning predatory at the sharp inhalation prompted by his probing index finger. "Oi, you're really tight..."

"Mmph. I don't know why I-" Abdominal muscles jumping, voice cracking slightly as his legs inadvertently fall further open to provide better access, Zoro licks his lips. He clears his throat, hating how nervous he sounds; it's just a garden-variety vegetable after all, not a fucking CACTUS. "I don't know why I always let you talk me into this shit."

"Shishi- 'cause I make Zoro feel good."

Can't argue that, the swordsman muses distractedly, warmth flushing across his bare skin when the lubricant-slicked finger pressing between his buttocks pushes deeper, withdraws, thrusts forward again, and again, settling into a steady, confident rhythm that falters only slightly when his captain reluctantly slows to introduce a second wet digit. "Nnf-"

Willing himself to relax, he narrows his focus, tuning out the ship's gentle swaying and the sunlight streaming through the surrounding windows until nothing exists but the single point where the rubber man's touching him. Fingers slide and scissor, stretching tender flesh as they repeatedly twist and bury themselves within his body, and when Luffy's thumb finds his perineum and presses down, heavily massaging the flesh over his prostate as a third finger joins the two already inside, he shudders and arches, clutching at the tangle of blankets beneath him.

"I used a lotta lube-" the younger pirate assures him breathily, avid gaze darting between his contorting face and the clenching muscle of his buttocks. "-'cause it's kinda- well, it was bigger than I thought and-"

Although he's still not particularly crazy about the prospect of having a piece of produce shoved up his ass, under his partner's thorough ministrations, Zoro's rapidly forgetting why he even cared. His initial reservations don't seem quite so important anymore; all that matters is Luffy's touch, spurring his libido, stirring the acute need roiling in his groin and lower belly. "If you're g-gonna do it- just- shut up and-"

The limited contact suddenly isn't enough, the fabric wadded in his hands suddenly isn't enough, and he lurches clumsily onto one elbow, seizing his captain awkwardly by the waistband to drag his lower half closer and pull one leg across his torso.

"Wha-" Luffy protests, startled and confused, then laughs delightedly as his fly's fumbled open and his shorts wrestled partway down his thighs. "Oh. Ohhh. You still want me to-?" His fingertips, now precariously buried, give a suggestive wiggle.

Hips jerking involuntarily, Zoro groans against his lover's inner thigh. "F-Fuck. Just-" Warm rigid flesh drags against his face as the man above him shifts, leaking tip leaving a thin, warm trail of precome on his jaw and across the corner of his slackly parted lips, and he tilts his head back to catch Luffy in his mouth, muffling his next words. "Just shut up and fuck me."

The captain responds with a low eager noise, and fingers which've resumed their pumping between his buttocks abruptly vanish only to be replaced by something firm and smooth that makes him gasp brokenly around the cock nudging towards the back of his throat, because even though it's well-lubricated and being carefully eased into him, it's almost distressingly thick and-

"C-Cold," he chokes out, hands tightening on Luffy's hips. "Shit- that's-!"

"Sorry," comes a breathless apology from somewhere near his pelvis. "I found it in the fridge and-" An audible sort of strangled gulping. "Zoro-"

The body above him's suddenly wriggling and shimmying as Luffy struggles to kick off his shorts, and the swordsman's forced to momentarily release his prize, flinching as the stiff penis wavering over his nose smacks him in the face dangerously close to his remaining eye. "Oi! Watch where you're sticking that thing!"

"SORRY, but I wanted to-" The rubber man abandons verbal explanation in favor of action, and Zoro cries out as wet warmth unexpectedly engulfs his length and the unseen object penetrating him pushes deeper, rotating. The hips now free to straddle his head give a rolling thrust, forcing heated flesh past his lips and over his tongue.

Sucking, lapping, swallowing convulsively around the saliva-slicked cock moving in and out of his throat, rocking urgently into a mouth that's eagerly returning the favor, the swordsman's no longer quite sure where one of them ends and the other begins. He's being penetrated at both ends, his every movement driving him onto one or both points of impalement, and there's an enthusiastic tongue sweeping his erection, toying with the sensitive underside of his glans, threatening to shatter his control.

At some point Luffy tugs him over so he's lying on his side with his uppermost leg hanging over the younger pirate's back and his toes twitching and curling in midair, both of them curled belly-to-belly with their faces burrowing into each other's loins, but in a few racing heartbeats he can't remember how long ago they ended up that way or even recall moving because he's lost all sense of time and comprehension.

Panting through his nose, he's shuddering in the unrelenting grasp of the fingers curled firmly over his sweat-streaked thigh, strangled groans escaping his chest each time another stroke's driven into him, when the cylindrical shape's angle changes suddenly, striking bundles of nerves that send sparks sizzling up his spine and along the length of his cock, and in the next moment he's choking, nose crushed against Luffy's balls as he fights not to gag on his lover's girth.

Luffy's body, stretched out beside him, jerks as the rubber man utters a garbled shout of alarm, and then the suction tugging at Zoro's groin intensifies and a fist starts thumping hard against his rear, pounding the blunt end of the cucumber into that same aching spot until he's writhing against his captain, nails raking his lower back and the upper curves of his buttocks.

He can HEAR it plunging in and out of him- a wet, maddeningly audible schlick-schlick noise that must be even louder to Luffy, who's gripping his thigh with crushing strength and bucking faster against his mouth.

Oh god please don't let him lose that thing in my ass, the green-haired pirate thinks for one delirious second, dizzily envisioning their most embarrassing trip to the infirmary yet, and then all doubt and concern washes away again as the orgasm slams through him.

His rectum spasms, clenching down in an effort to trap the object inside it, hold it still, but to no avail given his partner's insistence and the sheer volume of lubricant, and he's reduced to helpless thrashing when it thumps solidly into nerves already blazing with sensation.

Intensifying the surging throb in his lower belly and groin and trembling thighs, Luffy's throat is contracting rhythmically around his pulsing cock, swallowing and swallowing and swallowing and wringing him dry, and he's forgotten how to breathe, gagging on the flesh lodged in his own airway yet unwilling to push the younger pirate away. Instead he's stubbornly locking an arm around the other man's waist and groping blindly between his buttocks, middle finger seeking the puckered opening there and thrusting its way inside, even as his lungs scream for relief.

His captain releases him with a ragged cry, rocking harder, each rough jerk of his hips accompanied by a desperate keening of Zoro's name, and the increasingly frantic note to that wavering, breaking voice is the only real warning he gets before the first jet of salty fluid floods his mouth.

He fights to swallow, sputters instead when Luffy's cock pushes deep into his throat one last time before withdrawing as the rubber man pulls back from his grasp just far enough to grab himself and direct the flow, watching with enormous eyes as the subsequent spurts splash his first mate's cheek and neck and parted, gasping lips. "Zoro- ZORO-"

The swordsman coughs, spraying thick strands of mingled spittle and come and uttering an inadvertent moan when his body tightens reflexively, reminding him the bulk of the green gourd's still trapped inside him, held in place by his partner's trembling hand. He inhales shakily before swiping ineffectively at his drenched jaw with the back of one hand, head swimming drunkenly from lack of oxygen. "D-Damn..."

Spent, Luffy's studying him through heavy-lidded eyes, wearing a self-satisfied smile. "Told Zoro I'd make 'im feel good." He rolls onto his back with a sigh and stretches, arms and legs thrown wide.

"Made me a mess too," the older pirate snorts tiredly, shoving away the foot resting on his chest. Not that he's complaining about it, not yet; in a few minutes when the moisture coating his skin starts drying and making him itch, he'll start thinking about hunting for a gym towel, but for now he's content to lie here next to his captain - who's begun to hum cheerfully if slightly off-key - and feel his pulse slowing and the thudding in his head receding. Except-

He squirms, frowning, and reaches down to pull the object lodged between his buttocks free, breath hitching as it slides from his body, leaving behind an empty but almost pleasant aching sensation- and curses as it promptly squirts right through his fingers to roll a short way across the floor.

Ugh. Sencho wasn't kidding about using a lot of lube.

He's wiping his hand dry on the blanket, blearily contemplating a quick nap before he collars Luffy and heads for the shower, when a thought occurs to him.

The cucumber'd been downright chilly when the younger pirate first stuck it in, although it'd warmed up pretty quickly from his natural body heat - thank god - and hadn't been cold at all when he'd been holding it just now. But more importantly- "Luffy?"

"Mmm?" His lover wiggles around so they're lying shoulder to shoulder, peering over at him and then rolling closer to examine the damp patches on his neck and chest with smug interest.

"How did-" He's halted by Luffy kissing him, hand sliding into his short hair and seizing a scant handful so he can't escape. "How-" The captain's tongue darts into his mouth, exploring, tasting, and there's a hand roaming his pectorals. Another touching lower, fingers tracing his abdominal muscles, slipping past his limp cock and balls to circle his anus and then slip inside, three of them fitting easily now because he's so stretched and slippery and relaxed. Filling the emptiness, although the ache's still there, a dull yet exquisite pain that's enhanced by the renewed pressure. "Ah-"

"Wanna-" Biting, sucking on his lower lip, sloppily licking his mouth. Thumb flicking his nipple, fingers thrusting slow and unhurriedly. Moist, semi-hard but growing erection brushing his stomach, and Zoro's not sure what excites him more, rekindling his desire despite his fatigue. The physical stimulation- or the knowledge that Luffy's aroused by the act of tasting his own come on someone else's skin. In their mouth.

The younger pirate's voice drops lower, tense and hoarse with lust. "Wanna be inside you. I wanna-" Face nuzzling into his neck, lips moving tentatively against his adam's apple as the captain whispers something he doesn't quite dare say aloud, absurdly too shy. Too embarrassed.

I wanna fuck Zoro.

The swordsman takes a long, shuddering breath, his body tightening.

He forgets about showering, he forgets he's already going to be sore tomorrow morning. He forgets about the cucumber sitting abandoned on the floor under his weight stand and how they planned to dispose of it later.

He also forgets to ask Luffy just how the hell he stole the blasted thing from a bolted, combination-locked refrigerator in the first place.