This is an adopted plunny from yamiyugi23.
Genre: Family/comedy/ Romance
Summary: What would happen if Voldemort and Harry were getting married and the Death Eaters had taken things into their own hands and arranged the wedding from food and entertainment right down to the guests and what they can wear and who they sit with.
Must answer the questions above
Hopefully everything isn't too rushed or anything! ^^
Disclaimer: I don't own this, otherwise this wouldn't really be considered fiction written by a fan. So any lawyers can leave the premises.
Beta-ed by my friend: Krystal Liu
~A Perfect Wedding~
"Ooh! I just love parties!" Bellatrix Lestrange shouted to all of the other Death Eaters present. "And I can't believe that Lord Voldemort and Harry are finally getting MARRIED!" A squeal was heard, scaring even the more composed people present.
"There will be presents, and balloons, and ribbons! Tons and tons of ribbons! And you can't forget the food, the setting, and the outfits! Oh! Harry in a wedding gown! That would be so super adorable!" Lucius Malfoy sighed, resting his head in his hand.
"Bellatrix, please calm down. We are all happy for the couple, but you seem to be happier than them. Now let's deal with one thing at a time, alright?" Lucius tried to settle her down. Bella just gave him a glare worthy of what Snape would give to the Gryffindors.
"Lucy! You should know that since we are planning the wedding, we have to be more motivated. So! I was thinking that Harry should definitely wear the traditional white dress. And for food, I have this whole dining catalogue we can look at. And seating has to be perfect, unless we want fights to break out. Now, about the setting, I was either thinking beachside, in the Riddle Manor, at your house, Lucy, maybe in a beautiful town square, or we can even go out of the country! So what do you think? Oh, god! I've got to call so many people! So much stuff to do, so little time, and so much money to use! The choices are endless and there are no limits!" Bellatrix cackled, scaring everyone away.
Bellatrix calmed down enough so that people were brave enough to go back to the meeting room. The men gathered around, trying to make up outfit ideas that wouldn't embarrass their Dark Lord. Someone mentioned a tuxedo, but he was quickly shunned from the group.
"We are best with some fancy dress robes, that's for sure," Antonin Dolohov spoke up. Everyone nodded their head in agreement. "Now we just need a color. Based that he's a Dark Lord, bright colors would not suit him well." Out of thin air, Narcissa Malfoy appeared.
"What are you talking about? That is probably the worst reasoning ever! You need a dark color because of his complexion. He is very pale, and according to Witch Weekly, someone that carries a lighter complexion needs dark, wintry colors!" Narcissa thrust a magazine into Dolohov's face. Pulling it off, the Russian Death Eater stared at the cover in shock.
"Cissa…is this…your son…and…Harry?" Antonin questioned hesitantly. He glanced back down at the cover, not believing what he was seeing. Mrs. Malfoy beamed proudly, and nodded her head vigorously.
"Yes! I'm so proud of my son! He's a model! Can you believe it?" This time, Rodolphus Lestrange grabbed the magazine. He automatically dropped it, allowing the cover to be seen by everyone.
"Narcissa…if our Lord sees this…you know he will kill us right? Right? Please tell me you know this!" Rodolphus shouted crazily. Narcissa rolled her eyes and snatched the magazine right back up.
"Oh, please! I know what this means, but Lord Voldemort will understand! Harry just has to explain that the magazine shows him and Draco-"
"Holding each other affectionately," Rodolphus' brother, Rabastan, finished for her. "Mr. Potter is engaged! I don't think the Dark Lord would like to see his betrothed being cradled by his follower's son, kissing him!" And it was true. The cover showed the duo sitting down, Harry on top of Draco. The friends were kissing, Draco's hands on Harry's face and Harry's arms around Draco's neck. Narcissa just laughed.
"That's why we don't show him! Also, Harry needed the money to buy an engagement present for our Lord. And we can't forget that young girls are really into seeing yaoi nowadays!" Narcissa smiled and winked at an invisible camera. "Anyways! We have to make those outfits! I'll help you boys gain a fashion sense!"
Lucius groaned. He knew exactly how his wife got when dealing with clothes, and made an oath to not say anything during this outfit decision meeting. Unfortunately for him, Narcissa picked him to decide what color they would work with. "Um, let's work with black, right, Narcissa, its dark enough…?" He added, unsure of himself.
"Oh! I know!" Nott Senior pitched in, "Black flowing dress robes, with a silver trim. Simple, yet elegant." Nott gained odd looks. "What? I've been to plenty of parties to know what looks good!" Snape, studied Nott, and pictured what he was saying.
"I think you're right, Nott, but I think if our Lord had the robes open to show a nice dress shirt. That would look better. Definitely silver," Snape agreed. Narcissa squealed.
"Finally some men with a fashion sense! That's perfect! Now you boys wear some snazzy dark blue shirts and black pants, and Bella and I will deal with what we girls and Harry will wear!" Narcissa trotted off, leaving four confused men behind her.
"Nott! Rookwood! You two are on cooking duty!" Snape declared. The men mentioned shared a glance at each other before they ran into the kitchens before they could be the receivers of Severus Tobias Snape's wrath.
"So…" Rookwood started to talk, "Do you know anything about cooking?" After gaining a negative headshake, Rookwood went towards the fridge. "I suppose we just bake this?" He pulled out a dead chicken, head and all still attached. Nott just shrugged. The chicken was shoved in a pan and set on top of a flame.
"I found this cookbook. It has a recipe for a dinner pudding. Wanna try it out?" The men gathered the ingredients up. First they added eggs, milk, and salt into a bowl. Not understanding what a 'Pinch of salt' was, the men just added a few tablespoons full. Also, not knowing what a whisk was, the duo just left it as it was. Then they added flowers. Hey, they didn't know there was a difference, right? When the directions said it was not supposed to be lumpy, they started stabbing the pudding with a wooden spoon. Nott added lard to the mix while Rookwood prepared a way for the pudding to cook. Believing they knew the recipe by heart already, the men tossed the bowl into the wand-made fire. Next thing everyone knew, there was a not very small explosion in the kitchen.
"What did you do?" Snape yelled, seeing the smoke immediately. The men in charge of the mess truly didn't know what was wrong; they thought that was how it was supposed to end up. Snape looked around and noticed the bits of plastic bowl and not very mixed mix. "What did you try to make? AH!" Snape caught sight of the chicken. "Why is there a chicken on fire? It's got feathers and everything, too!" After Snape chased the pair around the very smoking kitchen, all the Death Eaters were amazed they attempted cooks were still alive.
Almost all of the preparations were set. The wedding would take place in and around Dartmouth Castle (never been there, but from pictures I've seen, it's beautiful!). Every guest would get an enchanted plate to give them whatever they thought of, since the kitchen had been destroyed. The outfits were decided, with Harry's outfit being hidden from everyone but him and the women. Now all that was left was seating and the cake.
"First we have to figure out who is going to sit at the head table with the newlyweds. I say we place whomever is closest to the pair should sit there. Let's see…" Fenrir thought hard. "I think…I should sit there, along with…the Malfoys, Nott, Goyle, Crabbe, Snape, all the Lestranges, and…that's all I can think of." Fenrir concluded, quite lamely. Lucius sighed.
"What about Dolohov, Rookwood, Macnair, and all of Harry's friends? Out of Harry's friends, let's have my son, Mr. Zabini, and Mr. Nott Junior sit with the bride." Everyone agreed. "So where does everyone sit?" All persons present shouted out possible ways, but one voice was heard above the rest.
"Musical Chairs! Where ever you end up sitting, is where you sit for the wedding! And the extra seats will be for the three teens not present!" It was Macnair. Cheers were heard at the splendid idea, and Goyle Sr. went to grab the music.
This…is what Blaise Zabini walked into a few minutes later. The group was fighting, not liking where they ended up sitting after the round of musical chairs. Blaise decided he was the only mature one there.
"Let me deal with this. Voldemort and Harry will sit at the head table, Mr. Malfoy on Voldemort's side, and Draco on Harry's side. On the side of the table will be, from closest to Voldemort to farthest, Mrs. Malfoy, Professor Snape, Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Rabastan, Greyback, and Dolohov. Across from them, from closest to Harry to furthest, is myself, Theodore Nott, Mr. Nott Sr., Rookwood, Macnair, Goyle Sr., and Crabbe Sr. Everyone else will sit at the other tables around the head table.
"There. Everything is settled. I actually came over to see if you had anything for entertainment? I heard from Harry that he would love something personal, and no people he hasn't heard of, which is mostly every magical entertainment group out there. Therefore, I think it would be wise if you all just made your own band. I volunteer Draco. He's an extravagant singer."
Bellatrix's eyes lit up. "I've always wanted to use my guitar skills for something! And, love, you can finally use the bass guitar I bought for you!" Bella turned to her husband. The menacing glance Rodolphus received made sure he didn't decline. Rabastan, not one to back down from any invisible challenge, added in that he would play his drum kit.
"Dolohov and I have a piano/violin duet on the side in the muggle world. It's a great way to get cash. So we'll be in," Snape threatened. Dolohov nodded, knowing what happened when Nott and Rookwood ruined the meal. He shivered.
The rehearsal was a catastrophe. First off, the guitar, bass guitar, and violin were all majorly out of tune and were stubborn to stay in tune, the bass drum was practically sliced in half, and all of the amps didn't want to work. It took nearly five hours until things were completely set up.
But then the fighting started. No one liked any of the same songs, or any songs that they decided were a harder difficulty level than some could handle. The group of six ended up using musical charms to learn about their instruments and how to play them even better. Now the group could play anything. As long as they knew what song it was…
"Ready? Okay! Rabastan, count us off, would you?" Draco ordered. Rabastan clicked his drum sticks together, and everyone started. The beginning of "Marry You" by Bruno Mars was heard (A/N: Oh, the irony. If you don't get it, you're an idiot). In the middle of the song, Bella went into an unwanted solo, sounding quite like a guitar solo from "Bohemian Rhapsody".
"Bella, what are you doing? This is not that type of song! Calm down and play your part!" her husband scolded. Bella just pouted.
"But this song is so boring! I don't do anything at all!" Bellatrix complained. Dolohov nodded his head in agreement. He didn't want to play along with the bass guitar, just because no violin part was available. Snape rolled his eyes in response.
"You do know that this isn't the only song we're going to play, right?" Snape pointed out to the only female in the group. She just stared at him.
The day of the wedding came. And it was hectic. There was no cake! "Severus! Bake a cake! You're great at potions! A cake should be nothing!" Bellatrix told him. Snape just sighed. He supposed it was time for some godfather/godson bonding anyways. When his target was in sight, he struck.
"Draco! Just the godson I wanted to see!" Snape exclaimed. Draco had never looked at him more oddly than now.
"I'm your only godson, Sev…are you feeling okay?" Draco asked. Snape gave an evil smirk.
"Of course I am! You're going to help your darling godfather bake a cake! Unless…you want Lord Voldemort to see the cover of the latest Witch Weekly, hmm?" Snape was evil. Blackmailing his godson…that gave Draco no choice. He must do this. It was for the best. At least if he wanted to survive.
The two Slytherins arrived at the kitchens of Dartmouth Castle where they successfully made a four-tier white frosted vanilla cake. It had red intricate designs on each tier, all of them unique. Red roses were scattered around it, and a few were duplicated on the cake with frosting. Overall, it was a masterpiece.
After the ceremony, Voldemort couldn't help but blush whenever in the presence of his new bride. Harry was absolutely beautiful in an elegant sleeveless traditional white muggle wedding dress. Even if he didn't like muggles, he had to respect their wedding-wear. Even his hair was stunning. It was put up in a bun, yet wavy at the same time. It looked slightly messy, but fancy at the same time. Just like his Harry. His. Yes, Harry was officially his to call his own.
Harry had similar thoughts. The silver blended nicely with his lover's skin, but the dress robes kept his appearance as Dark Lord up while still able to look relaxed and joyous. The hair that grew back was combed back and gelled enough to still look natural. Harry most definitely loved Tom Riddle. A strong man to hold and protect him, even if he wasn't completely weak; they were the perfect couple.
The newlyweds were complimented all night, but they were too busy paying attention to each other to notice anyone else. The day was perfect, and the years would only get better.
Hopefully you like this, yamiyugi23! I did my best! Well, I hope everyone likes it! ^^
If anyone can tell me what type of pudding Nott and Rookwood tried to make, you get a cookie/dessert basket! This is my first attempt at something comical, btw.
If you want to see Harry's dress or hair, or the cake, check out my profile!