Title : You Scream, I Scream

Rating: M

PostSecret Prompt:My downstairs neighbor and I have screaming matches to see who is loudest during sex. I usually win. http:/bit(.)ly/evhRcS

Summary: Sometimes, contests you didn't really think you'd ever have, lead to prizes you've always wanted to win.

PostSecret concept created by Frank Warren. Recognizable characters and story elements are the property of Stephenie Meyer•

Edward stared at me, his features shadowed, his eyes appearing nearly black in the dark of the room. He looked away from me, his gaze now on his hand, which gripped the length. He pushed it in.


His hand moved in circles.

"Oh God!"

He grunted with exertion as he stretched his body as long as it would go, making the most of his impressive height.

"Just like that! Right there, like that!"

Light flickered and filtered into the room as he finished screwing the eco-friendly tube-shaped light bulb into the socket high on my living room wall. As he lowered his arms, shifting his weight off his tiptoes, he said, "You're lucky I'm tall; these lights are so high up, you'd never be able to reach without a ladder. I could barely—"

"So good, you're so good!"

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, when I saw the place a few weeks ago, I just loved how airy the ceilings made the house feel. I didn't think—"

"Don't stop!"

"Well, you should talk to your landlord about that bulb—you just moved in, you probably don't have to pay for it," Edward said, sitting down on the couch.

"Yeah. She's kind of bitchy, though. I need to talk to her about—"






"Goddamn, Bella, can we go to another room or something?" Edward asked, cringing as the words turned into an incoherent string of wails and moans.

I shook my head. "Wouldn't do any good. It's just as loud no matter what room you're in. The walls are really thin." I flopped onto the couch, winding up half on Edward. Shifting around slightly, we sat in silence for a few seconds, shoulder to shoulder, listening as the woman—my landlady, Victoria—got the pounding of a lifetime. Except it wasn't of a lifetime because she was this loud every time she had sex. Which, from what I could judge in the two weeks I'd moved into the apartment above hers, was often.

"What was that you said? 'I can't believe no one has snatched this place up! I'm so lucky'," Edward teased, mimicking me in a high-pitched tone that deliberately sounded nothing like me.

I frowned and punched him lightly on the arm, trying not to pay attention to just how nice of an arm it was. "Shut up."

"Seriously," he said, chuckling. "You have some shit luck when it comes to living situations."

"I know," I moaned.

"There was that roommate who smelled like feet." He made an adorable face, his nose scrunching up as if he could still recall the stench.

"And made everything she was around—including me—smell like feet." I shuddered slightly. "There was the vampire house."

"Which one was that?" he asked.

"Oh, I lived there like, six years ago, right before I met you, I think. It was surrounded on all sides by buildings and got absolutely no sunlight."

"Because you need to be paler," he joked, pinching the skin on my thigh lightly. I slapped his hand away and he grabbed my index finger, tugging on it absentmindedly as he spoke. "And then the place before this, with the strange dripping noise."

"That came from nowhere!" I burst out. "I swear, that place was haunted."

"You told me," he said, laughing.

"I did?"

"Yeah, one night I met you and Alice and some of the others at the bar—I'd been working late and you guys were already shitfaced. I walked you back and you made me stay the night because you claimed you were scared of the ghosties."

I felt mortified. "You've never told me before!" I remembered that night—well, parts of it—despite the level of my intoxication. I certainly didn't recall telling him that but I can remember that in my drunken state, I had been rather keen on crossing that line of platonic affection Edward and I had been on one side for as long as I had known him. We hadn't done anything, he'd merely passed out on top of the blankets after gently tucking me into them.

My drunken desires were really a reflection of things between us, which were confusing, to put it simply. We'd been friends for a long time, but in the past few months, I could swear I had caught Edward sneaking glances, looking at me like… well, I was looking at him. As something more. But clearly, from the 'ghosties' conversation, I wasn't completely sane, so I could have easily been imagining it.

"And now this place, with its too-high ceilings."

"And too thin walls."

"And too loud, too-much-sex-having neighbor."

"You sure know how to pick 'em, Swan."

"Shut up, it's not funny." He chuckled and I swatted him lightly on the stomach, because I wanted to know if it was as hard as his bicep. It was.

"Okay, okay, I'm not laughing." He let his head fall back on to the couch as his phone pinged and he checked the message. But all of that was in my muted periphery—I couldn't focus on anything but way Edward was gently playing with my fingers, tangling them with his almost lazily. It was strange how my heart could be racing and still, I felt completely relaxed with him. There was something about Edward that made it so easy to be around him. It was precisely this feeling, and how he touched me all the time so naturally but never romantically, and how he slept over but never did anything other than sleep, that made me think that maybe this growing attraction, the want to take this to the next level, was only on my side.

But then there were times when his eyes would stay on me two beats too long, and he would let out this sigh as he stared at me, times when he would place his hand on the small of my back as low as he could without reaching indecency. Those moments made me think he was right where I was, ready to tiptoe across—or maybe trample over—that line we'd drawn.

"You hear that?" he asked, squeezing my hand, which made my heart squeeze in turn.

I didn't hear anything. "Yes! Hallelujah, maybe she's done for the day." Neither of us said anything after that, perhaps because he was enjoying the silence, but I couldn't stop staring at our joined hands, which he had rested casually on his thigh. He was slowly rubbing his thumb over mine and I couldn't stop the shiver that wracked through me. When I looked at his face, he was watching our hands as intently as I had been, and a strange sensation flipped my stomach.

"Edward…" His name was out of my mouth without me even realizing I said it and his eyes flicked up to mine. When they darted down to my lips, which parted under his scrutiny, my heart began thudding, and I knew, I knew this thing between us was something more than just friendship. And right now would be when it all changed.

"Be naked in ten minutes! I want to ride you like a bicycle, big boy!"

The moment shattered and Edward leaned away. I hadn't even realized he was leaning in. Damn it!

He started laughing silently, his body shaking with the effort of staying quiet, until finally he burst out laughing. I couldn't help but join him. This was ridiculous.

"Bella—how long is your lease here?" he asked, between guffaws. My laughter melted away as I answered glumly, "A year." That only made him laugh harder and he let go of my hand as he doubled over.

In a high-pitched tone that sounded a lot like the one he'd used to imitate me, he said, "Ride me like a bicycle!"

"Shut up!" I wailed. "This is horrible. What am I going to do?"

Edward's laughter died down and he turned to me and said, earnestly, "You have to talk to her."

"I know. I will. Eventually."

"No, right now! Just go down there and tell her politely—you're good at polite—that you'd appreciate it if she kept it down a bit," he encouraged.

"Edward—" I whined. I hated confrontation.

"Suck it up, Swan. I know you hate confrontation," he said, and I had to smile at how he well he knew me. "But it can't be worse that this."

I sighed. "You're right," I told him, but didn't move. I didn't want to move, not with the way he was pressed to my side, from our shoulders right down to our arms.

"Go on, " he said, nudging me.

"I don't wanna," I grumbled.

He laughed. "Go now—she wants to ride big boy in less than ten minutes."

"Oh God." I shuddered.

He stood up and tugged me off the couch before placing his hands on my shoulders from behind me and walking me to my front door. "Go on, Bella," he said, ducking his head down so he was speaking in my ear. There's no way he missed my shiver. "It'd be nice to just have a little quiet time with you."

I couldn't help but think of a few minutes ago, when it had gone silent and we'd had that moment. I wanted quiet time with him, too.

I walked down to Victoria's place, thinking about how before I'd moved in, this house, which had been split into two apartments with stairs on the outside, had seemed ideal. It still was, if only I could get Victoria to shut up.

She answered a few minutes later, and I politely told her that since the walls were so thin, it'd be great if she could just keep her voice down.

She cocked an eyebrow and tossed her red hair over her shoulder. "Excuse me? Just who do you think you are?" My eyes widened at her bitchy tone. "How dare you come here and tell me to be quiet in my own house? Which I was kind enough to rent to you!" Her voice was rising with each sentence until she was full out yelling at me. "I knew you were going to be a terrible tenant, you seemed like such a snotty little thing, with all your questions about how quiet the neighborhood is and shit like that." She eyed me up and down. "I'm sorry that you're jealous because you're too boring to get any action, but some of us have lives. Some of us have sex lives. You should go on upstairs and curl up with a good book, your cats and Ben and Jerry. At least, then you'll have a man in your life!" She made a move to shut the door but changed her mind adding, "And your rent check is due next week!"

With that, she slammed the door in my face. I stood there, stunned, for a few moments before I walked, like a zombie, up the stairs. Edward was still standing at my open front door.

"She said—" I began hollowly.

"I heard." He ushered me inside and I was so taken aback by Victoria that I didn't even notice him put his hand on my back in that place I thought of as his spot.

I felt like crying a little. This was precisely why I never confronted anyone—I hated being shouted at. I loathed rudeness but I was too much of a wuss to ever actually say anything about it. So, instead, I turned on Edward. "You told me to go talk to her. And I told you I didn't like confrontation and—"

"Shhh," he said, pulling me into his arms. I wasn't really going to cry but I liked the excuse to cling to him as he rubbed by back. "I know. She was a total bitch. You didn't deserve that, you were really nice."

"I am nice!"

"You are," he repeated. He maneuvered us onto the couch, keeping his arm around me and pushing my head so it rested on his shoulder. He leaned his on top of mine and I gained courage from his proximity—and maybe, my distance from Victoria. "She's such a bitch!"

"She is." He was doing the best thing he could right now, which was to agree with every word that came out of my mouth.

"A loud-sex-having, mean bitch!" I said, getting worked up. "I bet she's faking it!"

Edward snorted. "I'm sure she is. And the guy she's with is an idiot who can't tell."

"Yeah! An ugly, hairy idiot!" Abruptly, I remembered what she had said to me and realized that Edward had heard every word. "And I'm not too boring to get any action!"

"No, you're not boring," he said, chuckling.

"I don't even have cats!"

"Which she should know, being your landlord and all."

"Don't laugh at me, Edward! It's just making me more mad."

"You're cute when you're mad, Swan," he said. "So, I don't really want to stop laughing at you."

I lifted my head off his shoulder to frown at him and was startled to realize how close he was.

"You're even cuter when you pout," he whispered, because he was so close that he didn't need to speak any louder. He was doing that thing again, where he kept looking at my lips and it was making me want to kiss him so, so badly.

As if on cue, as if she had some mean bitch power that let her know just when the worst time was, Victoria began moaning loudly again. I pretended to slam my forehead on Edward's shoulder and sob and he laughed.

"What am I going to do, Edward? I can't afford to break my lease—and even if could, I don't want to move again!"

"Well…" I looked up at him.

The devious smirk on his face was dangerous—not only because it made me want to jump his bones a little (okay, a lot), but because I could practically see mischief in his bright green eyes.

"There is something we could do."

"Edward, I don't know what you're thinking but…"

"Have you ever heard of fighting fire with fire?"

"Sure. But, if you think about it, fighting fire with fire only makes a bigger fire."

He shook his head, smiling. "You are way too logical. What I'm trying to say is that I think that you just have to give her a taste of her own medicine."

"So you want me to… have loud sex?"

His eyes twinkled. "Exactly."

"With who?"

His cheeks colored in an utterly enchanting blush. "Umm… I didn't mean… what I was trying to say—you don't actually have to have sex. You just have to sound like you are."


"You know… so she'd know how annoying it is."

"And that I'm not boring! I can get action!" I said, catching on to the idea.

Edward laughed. "Yeah, sure."

Except that I wasn't really getting action. My bravura shrunk as I recalled the utter ferociousness of Victoria.

"Do me like a freak, baby! Like a naughty, naughty freak!"

I had no choice. I had to do this.

"Okay, so we're just going to push it a lot?" I asked from my side of the bed, putting my hand on the headboard.

Edward scratched his eyebrow. "Yeah. And you're going to have to scream. That's sort of key."

I could feel myself turning red. "Scream?" The more I thought of this plan, the more absurd it seemed. But in the past few minutes, I'd be just on the verge backing out when Victoria would let out an aptly-timed moan and rile me up all over again.

"Umm, yeah, Bella. Like I said, give her a taste of her own medicine." His eyes followed me as I sat down on the bed. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not a screamer," I mumbled. When I looked over at Edward, he was as red as I was.

"Oh, you've never…" Seeing his shyness made me feel a little bolder.

"Had such good sex that I've felt the need to scream my lungs out? No."



"Well, I mean, you can fake it. Right?"

I laughed. "Edward, every girl knows how to fake it."

"Well, there you go," he said, awkwardly. He seemed to shake it off and continued, "Alright, come on, Swan. I'll count out a beat quietly. Pound on two and four, and just… start screaming, okay?"

I had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. "Okay," I agreed.

"Three, two, one. One—"




I didn't make a noise.



"Bella," he hissed. "Three." Slam. "One." Slam. "Scream."

Summoning up all my courage, I waited for Edward to count to four and then said, "Oh!" It was barely loud enough for Edward to hear over the slams.

We had a rhythm going with the bed so Edward abandoned counting. "Come on, Bella. You can do better than that."

Slam. Slam.

"Edward," I whispered back. "I don't think I can do this…"


"Come on, Bella. Just… humor me, okay?" he asked. "Scream for me."

"Oh!" I yelled, somewhat louder this time.

"That's my girl," he encouraged. "A little louder this time, okay?" It was impossible not to do what he asked, when he looked like that, smile sweet and eyes warm.

"Oh yes!" I yelled and it was almost a moan.

Edward's grin was a little strained. "Alright, we just need you to do that more." My eyes must have widened because he continued, saying, "I mean… you want to make it sound real, right?" I nodded. "Then, you're going to have to really sound like you're having the best sex of your life."

"I don't know how to do that," I admitted.

"Ummm," Edward hedged. He was silent for a couple slams of the headboard before he said, "I guess just think of the best sex you've ever had and… remember how it felt."

How was I supposed to admit that the best sex I ever had was… never? I'd had good sex, sure, but nothing to ever inspire me to scream the way Victoria did or the way Edward wanted me to. And on top of that, with Edward looking me, his eyes dark and watchful, I really didn't think I could let go.

"Maybe… maybe we can just get some breathy shouts," Edward suggested.

"How do we do that?"

"Here, keep slamming, okay? I'm going to come around to your side." He walked around the bed and came to stand behind me. "No matter what I do, don't stop slamming, okay?"

"What are you going to do?"

"Don't stop slamming!"

"I won't! Just tell me what—Edward!" I shrieked as he tickled me. It was loud, and yeah, it was breathy.

"Alright, so now we know you can get loud," he said, chuckling. I scowled at him from over my shoulder. He reached around me to put his hand on the headboard and started slamming it with me, bringing him closer to my body. "Scream or I'll tickle you."

"This is construed as torture, y'know," I said. He dug his fingers into my side and I shouted again.

"I know," he said, sliding his arm around my waist and bringing our bodies flush together. The only other noise aside from our breathing was the steady racket of the headboard as we slammed it in tandem, in perfect unison.

"Edward," I sighed. My voice was low and quiet, but I knew that was the way I should have been saying it, just much louder. He hummed along my skin and he dragged his nose up the crook of my neck. "What are you doing?" I whispered.

"I don't know," he muttered back, but didn't move his lips from the space behind my ear. "Should I stop?" He began placing tiny kisses along the edge of my ear and I could feel the delicious heat of arousal flood through me.

"No," I told him. The fire of his lips on me was making me bold. "Don't stop doing that."


"Yes! Edward, yes!" I shouted and it was breathy, horny and moaning. Edward was so taken by surprise that he actually pulled his lips off me before he started laughing.

"Where did that come from?" he asked, nuzzling my neck fondly.

I didn't answer, instead shouting at the floor, "Don't stop, Edward! Don't stop!"

"Alright, alright," he said, snickering. "I get the message." He returned his lips to my shoulder, reaching up with the arm wrapped around me to pull the strap of my tank top down my shoulder. He painted my skin with hot open-mouthed kisses and while the noise I let out was much louder than it would naturally be, it expressed all of the exquisite pleasure his lips was bringing me.

But it was clear Edward could care less about our little show when he let go of the headboard, leaving me to slam it by myself, and ran his hand under my tanktop, brushing his fingers along my stomach. I stopped slamming it, too, reaching up and weaving my hand through his hair as he kissed across my shoulders, on the back of my neck on to the other side. I couldn't have made up the soft moan I let out, and upon hearing it, Edward spun me to face him before backing me up against the very wall we had just been pounding.

We just looked at each other as I slid my arms around his neck, using one hand to push a strand of hair that had fallen onto his face.

He was staring at my lips again and when my eyes flicked down to his, I saw his tongue dart out to lick his bottom one. "Bella," he breathed quietly, before kissing me soft and warm and gentle. Perfect. He kissed me twice before saying, "You have no idea how long—"

"I do," I told him, kissing him again. "Just as long as I have." On that, he kissed me forcefully, parting my lips with his tongue before slipping it into my mouth. One hand slid down my back to his spot, the other splayed between my shoulder blades, holding me close to him. It was absolute bliss, the feeling of his mouth on mine, how he sucked on my bottom lip a little before moving up to the top one. We kissed for a while longer, and when Edward began nipping at my neck, and then bit my chin lightly—he didn't know it yet but that was my spot—I wasn't even sure the wall could hold me up. My knees felt like rubber and I couldn't stop thinking about how there was a bed right there.

I was gathering the courage to suggest moving onto it when I heard it.

"Oh, big daddy, you work it so good! Oh, James! James! Jaaaaaames!"

There's nothing like hearing someone else having sex to put off your own mood. Edward must have felt this way because he let out a laughing groan as he pulled away.

And that was the final straw for me. Not once, not twice, but now thrice, this woman, this horrible, rude, bitchy woman, who I was going to have to deal with for the next year at least, had cockblocked me because she was doing precisely the opposite.

I leaped onto the bed and began jumping on it like a madwoman, wincing as the springs creaked, but kind of glad because it added to the effect. At the same time, I began pounding on the wall in earnest, even thumps. And then, I began shouting, things I didn't even know I could think, let alone say out loud.

"Oh God!" Jump, thump, thump, jump. "Oh my God, Edward! That's so good!" I moaned loudly. "Oh yes! Yes! Faster, God, harder, please Edward, you feel so good." I barely even realized I was using his name—hell, I barely even remembered Edward was in the room, so caught up in my frenzy was I. "Oh Edward, yes, right there, don't stop, don't stop!"

And damn, I sounded pretty good, especially when coupled with the racket my fists were making and the noise of the bed sliding slightly from my weight. It was realistic, as if Edward actually was giving me the best orgasm of my life.

It was as if sexual frustration from months of being around him and not acting on it, actual frustration with finally being able to act on it and then being interrupted, and just plain rage at this woman had combined to give me the skills of a porn star.

"Don't stop! I'm so close! Oh! Oh! Yes!" Damn, I think I was turning myself on. "I'm coming! I'm coming! Edward! Edwarrrrrrrrrrrd!"

When I finally stopped, there was silence. It was a miracle but I think that I had actually shut Victoria up. Still standing on the bed, I turned to Edward with a grin and a squeal.

"I think it worked! She's finally—ahh!" I screeched as Edward grabbed my ankle and yanked, causing me to fall onto my back on the bed. Less than a second later, he was on top of me, covering my body with the delicious weight of his body, warm and hard and… oh. Hard.

He kissed me passionately, frantically, my lips one moment, then my jaw, my chest, placing his hands on my waist and sliding them up, pulling up my shirt. "This okay?" he asked, sucking on my earlobe.

I couldn't even remember what the opposite of 'yes' was, it was that okay. "Mmmmhmmm," I moaned.

"Goddamn, Bella," he breathed. "How the hell can you faking an orgasm be the hottest thing I've ever seen?"

I had no answer for that, but luckily, we didn't do much more talking as Edward pulled off my shirt and began kissing lower and lower. I clutched at his back, gathering his t-shirt in my hands and he lifted up a moment so I could pull it off him. He kissed my stomach, sticking his tongue in my belly button, which made me jump and shriek. I could feel the vibrations of his laugh on my torso as he laughed and it delighted me. Slowly, he peeled off my shorts, taking my underwear with it and tossing it to side. He kissed his way back up, spending a few divine extra minutes on my breasts before his lips were on mine once more. I reached down and unbuttoned his jeans, sliding them and his boxers as low as possible before he kicked them off.

I spread my legs a bit, so his hips could fit in between them and I could feel him right where he needed to be. He pulled away from my mouth, raising himself over me on his forearms, which were tucked under my shoulders. He held my face in his hands, his thumb rubbing a soft circle on the apple of my cheek as his eyes searched mine for something.

"This is it, Bella. We do this and it all changes. I'm not going to be able to leave you alone after this," he said.

I beamed. "Promise?" He leaned down to kiss me, but barely could, he was grinning so wide.

When he pushed into me, I knew he was right. Everything had changed and it was finally the way it should be.

"Promise me one thing," he said, moving his hips slowly. I couldn't control my gasp at the feeling of him.


"I don't care of you don't make any noise at all but… don't fake it?" he asked, smiling shyly. I didn't know how he could be shy, considering the position we were in, but it only made me fall for him even harder. I pulled him down and kissed him deeply in place of my answer.

I didn't have to fake it, not one bit. In fact, I may have given Victoria a run for her money. Turns out when I am having the best sex of my life, I am quite the screamer.