Aaaand here is the first of the drabbles by Bloody Mary~


The biscuits lay untouched. They looked like fine specimen of biscuitdom and this was precisely why none had dared to touch them. Princess Serenity had many virtues, but being a good cook was not one of them. Unfortunately, for reasons known only to her, she kept trying to improve. The results were poor: if she managed to produce something edible, it always looked horrible. On the other hand, any meal that came from under her hand and looked well, was usually too foul to eat for anyone.

Mortarion was the most recently found Primarch and had yet to experience Serenity's cooking experiments. Before anyone could warn him, he picked one biscuit up and took a bite. Too the confusion of Horus, he seemed to enjoy the taste.

The Emperor's favourite son gathered his courage and took a bite of one of the biscuits. He had to promptly spit it out: if he were to describe the taste, phrases such as "a wet cat's backside" and "old socks mixed with garbage" would have been liberally applied. Well, perhaps he'd be more verbose and less vulgar about it, but it was hard to avoid a certain crudeness when describing the taste.

He gave Mortarion a suspicious look, just as his gaunt brother ate the seventh biscuit with all signs of enjoyment. Horus nearly tried another one, but even his boldness had its limits. Mortarion, meanwhile, calmly finished his eight one and looked up at Horus.


The amount of innocent confusion in his brothers gaze astounded Horus. Mainly, because Mortarion's face just wasn't the kind of face he would associate with innocence, but also because it seemed like the other Primarch truly did enjoy the biscuits.

"You… like those?" Horus managed weakly.

Mortarion nodded in reply. Horus waited a moment, before he realized that no verbal response was following.

"How about you tell Serenity then?"

This time Mortarion shook his head. Horus wondered briefly if the whole conversation would be like this. It was almost like talking with Corax only without the undercurrent of "You talk too much, Horus".

"Oh come now," he continued. "She'll be very happy-"

"They're awful," Mortarion suddenly spoke up.

"But you said-" Horus started only to be interrupted again.

"I like awful food."