BALANCE AND HARMONY

Connor received a surprise when he opened the front door – or rather, tried to open it. It only cracked itself ajar a few centimeters. That was strange.

He shoved his shoulder against the door – it didn't budge. Something had to be leaning against it. "Murph?" he called out.

There was a commotion like noise, a couple of muttered swears from Murphy, and finally a loud SMACK.

The door swung open. "Hello," Murphy said.

"Hi…" Connor stepped into the room and eyed the fallen mattress which had previously been propped against the door. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Murphy shrugged. "Redecorating."

"Re… like we have enough shit to redecorate?" Connor looked around at the floor, where Murphy had taped a grid shaped pattern. "What the fuck is this?"

"I'm aligning our chi."

"Our what?"

"Chi, Con, our fucking chi!"

Connor was almost sure his brother had gone mad. "What the fuck is a chi?"

"It's not a chi, retard, it's just chi. It helps you live better."
"What the fuck are you on?"

"It's feng shui, asshole."
"Since when do you fucking care about feng shui?"

"… Since last night."

Connor raised an eyebrow. "Did you hook up with a chinc last night?"

"…Maybe."

"Well, his fucking underwear's in the corner, how's that help our fucking chi?"

"Fuck you."
"Put the fucking mattress back, then we'll talk."