He didn't understand why she did it, couldn't comprehend the logic behind her reasoning.
He sat through the funeral silently, not talking to anyone. He was vaguely aware that people had come up to offer then grievances and apologies, some of them even asked what happened. David was sure he told everyone she just passed away in her sleep, keeping the real truth a secret. The only other person who knew the truth was his father, and possibly his brother. They both came to the funeral to pay their respect, and any other day David would have been annoyed to be near them, but that day he was glad for their presence.
He didn't remember much from that week, and he didn't want to. How does one cope with the death of a loved one? Let alone that loved one being their mother, the only family he had. Sure, he had grandparents, but they lived far away in an assisted living home. He was left no choice other than to live with his father and brother. He didn't put up any argument, for he was lonely and they were his only family left.
Frank and Karl had left him alone for awhile after the funeral, so he could come to terms with reality. He wasn't actually sure they cared that his mother was dead, it's not like Frank had ever cared about her. The only thing they had in common was David, and that was never enough for them to be on civil speaking terms. Karl had never met Lorraine, David's mother, so he obviously didn't care. But, David was his brother so he tried to be nice, at least for the first week.
After the first seven days, they all came to the unspoken agreement not to mention his mother. Then life began to go on like nothing ever happened, and as if David had been with them the whole time. But to David, he never felt more like an outsider in his life. Frank was hardly around, and Karl usually was off doing his own thing. David took to his own and stayed in his room reading and writing by himself.
He and Karl warmed up to each other after awhile. At first, neither knew what to say to each other, seeing as they had never been around each other for more than a week and new nothing about each other. To Karl, David had always been the other one who was smart and boring. To David, Karl was an annoying brat who always got away with everything. After the first week though, they started hanging out. Karl would force David out of his room and to the movies or something. They made an effort to be around each other at least, which was more than their father.
It didn't have to be said, they were both lonely and sought company in their father's absences.
He woke up the next morning with a splitting headache in his freezing room. He wondered how he got there; the last thing he remembered from yesterday was passing out on the couch while Karl was watching television. Glancing over at the electronic clock on his nightstand he saw that it was almost ten in the morning. He lay in the warmth of his bed for a few more minutes before deciding to get up and go downstairs where he heard voices.
Frank and Karl were sitting in the living room watching some sports game on television. They were talking excitedly as their favorite team scored, eating popcorn and surrounded by cans of soda. David walked in quietly, taking a seat at the opposite end of the couch from Karl.
"Oh, you're awake. How are you feeling?" Frank asked his son, turning his attention away from the TV. David shrugged and yawned.
"Tired," He replied, pulling the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapping it around his body, wondering if either of them had turned on the heat.
"You gave Karl quite a scare yesterday. Do you remember what happened?" Frank told him. David shook his head no, as Karl threw a pillow at his father.
"I was not scared," He informed the older man, causing him to laugh.
"Oh, sure you weren't," Frank replied to him cheerfully. Turning back to David he said, "You had an asthma attack yesterday, you've been asleep for over twelve hours."
David nodded, that seemed about right. No wonder he didn't remember much, he never could after he had an attack. They always drained him of energy and made everything hazy. But, it had been awhile since he last had one.
"Well, I've got to get going now. I wanted to stay until you woke up, David, to make sure you were alright. I'll be back tomorrow," Frank said, standing up and stretching. David watched silently as his father threw on a coat and headed out the door. Once he was out of sight, Karl tossed a pillow at David, hitting him on the face.
"Dad said that next weekend we're going flying, and I get to steer," He boasted as he took a long sip of cherry soda. David shrugged and kicked his brother off the couch so he could lay down.
"Well have fun with that, no way am I getting in a plane that you're the pilot," He replied smirking. He didn't want to go at all, whether or not Karl was steering. Flying was not his favorite thing to do, even more so with his family. It was dad's and Karl thing they liked to do together, and he felt like the third wheel.
"Good luck trying to stay home, dad wants us to fly to some weird island with no name," Karl informed his brother. The game came back on, and Karl turned his attention away. David shrugged off the blanket and headed back up to his room to seek the warmth and comfort of his bed once again.
He felt as if it was his fault.
Had he done something wrong? Or maybe he just wan't good enough? The second one seemed more reasonable, because David never thought he could be good enough. At least in his father's eyes, and now apparently his mothers. He had driven his mother to suicide, that thought strayed in his mind every now and then when his thoughts became unhappy. He couldn't stop t hinking about it once the thought was there, he would sit for hours trying to figure out why.
She had always said he was her reason for living, and then she killed herself. She had tied the burgundy curtains that David had bought for her birthday and hung herself. It hadn't been long before David woke up and found her, since she was still swinging and felt a little warm. When he had opened the door to see his mother hanging from the ceiling, his first reaction was to run over and get her down. Later, he got yelled at by the paramedics or coroner or whoever took her body away, because he had 'tampered with a dead body' or something like that.
He remembered calling his father at some point, before he went to the hospital. Although he didn't actually say anything other than 'mom', Frank had gottent he point that something was wrong and rushed to get over there. After that it was a long five days, planning the funeral and all the junk. It was almost harder having to go back to the house and pack up all her belongings, which were being sent to shelters for the homeless. Going to live with his father and brother was going to be hard, and he didn't know what to expect.
But now, everything was going almost smoothly. He and Karl were getting along somewhat, and Frank...was Frank. All that David was thinking about now was next weekend. Karl flying the plane?
God help me...David thought before he fell back into a deep slumber.
Okay, these last two chapters were just a prologue.