Hey, guess what! My birthday is on the Twenty-fifth, I'll be twenty-one! Oh and sorry I haven't updated this story in a while. I only work on it when I need to get rid of writers block.
After Luna Lovegood was sorted into the position of future headmaster Dumbledore finally decided to sit down and talk to the sorting hat about its behavior. He wanted to know why the hat had started sorting people so unusually.
"Because I'm not sorting them based on who they are, I'm sorting them based on who they'll become." The hat explained.
"And how could you possibly know what they would become?" Dumbledore questioned.
"I saw the future and decided to change it the only way I knew how." The hat replied.
"And has that future been averted?" Dumbledore asked.
"In that future, Tom Riddle became the dark lord Voldemort. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew where the best of friends in Gryffindor until Peter betrayed the Potters to Voldemort, faked his death, and framed Sirius. Sirius went to Azkaban, Harry went to the Dursley's where he was treated like one of the Malfoy's house elves. Snape became the most hated professor at Hogwarts and your spy until you had him euthanize you. People died. Hogwarts burned." The hat explained. "I only regret that I didn't obtain this knowledge the year I sorted you."
"What do you mean?" Dumbledore asked.
"You are an old fool. A manipulative old fool that believes in doing things for the "greater good" yet you never quite define that term. So I decided to get rid of you the only way I knew how. Miss Smith's school will completely turn around Britain's stale, backwards, educational system and Miss Lovegood will be open to new ideas. Working together their schools will become a part something like the muggles' Ivy League. It will be a glorious future and I'm afraid that there is simple no room for stagnation in this future. That's why I made sure the Fudge would never become Minister and Umbridge would never become Hogwarts High Inquisitor. I can't manipulate events outside of this school, but I can put everyone in position for the best outcome." The hat responded.
"And you call me manipulative?" Dumbledore said.
"Someone has to undo the damage you've inflicted on the world and compared to Voldemort, Pettigrew is just a bumbling fool. All the major players are in place. From here on out it's up to them. If you could try not to screw them all over like you did last time." The hat replied.
"But what if-"
"No. You stay away from them."
"But they'll need- ow!"
"I told Fawkes exactly what you did last time and now if you try anything he'll bite you."
Dumbledore shot a betrayed look at the phoenix. Fawkes bit his nose.