What if . . .?
A/N: What if Peter wasn't such an idiot! Because everytime I watch this episode, that's exactly what I think: What an idiot! He's already miserable, he's clearly unhappy in his vocation and even though it doesn't become so blindingly obvious until after the sweating statue incident, he really isn't sure it's what he want's anymore. So why on Earth would he open his mouth and say "I'm a priest!" It's silly. So I re-wrote it. But it took me a while, because I just couldn't quite get it right, I kept pushing for a kiss, but they weren't cooperating so that'll have to come in a few chapters. =)
"Assumpta . . ." his voice is so quiet and I can not bear to hear it. So I whisper my good night and turn to get into my van. Just as I'm opening my door, he turn's me back to face him. I look into his eyes and he sweeps the hair blowing across my face behind my ear. His hand cups my cheek, his thumb caressing my face. Despite myself I lean into the touch. He steps closer to me, so we're flush against each other and rest's his forehead against mine. I close my eyes and a tear runs down my cheek. He brings his other hand up to wipe it away and cradles my face between his palms.
"Peter," I whisper. "We can't, it's not right." He exhales a sigh that brushes my face and touches his lips to my cheek. He steps back, leaning against his car, giving me space.
"I know," he whispers. He tilt's his head, seeking eye contact with me. I look up at him and he smiles shyly. "I love you," he whispers like it's something I already know. But I guess my shock is evident in my face, because he whispers "I thought you knew." I shake my head.
"How would I know, Peter?" He smiles a slightly bitter smile and nod's.
"Fair point, I guess." He replies. I look at him as he stands there shivering.
I smile, "I love you too, Peter." He smiles back. And as much as I hate to wipe that beautiful smile off his face, I have to be realistic. "But it doesn't change anything," I drop my gaze to the floor, feeling my eyes fill up with moisture. "Your still a priest, and I would never . . ." I sniff and he steps forward, gently lifting my face and stroking my hair.
"For you, I would give up everything, including the priest hood!" Reaching for my hand as he had in the car earlier, he lift's it to his mouth and presses a gentle kiss to it. "I love you, Assumpta, and there is nothing in the world that I want more than to be with you!" I smile a watery smile at him and one tear streaks down my face. He tug's my hand and folds me into his arms, pressing a light kiss to my head and tucking me up under his chin. "I'll speak to Father Mac first thing in the morning." I nod, knowing he can feel it and wrap my arm's around him burying my head into his chest as I sob. We stand there like that for what seem's like an eternity until my body stops shaking and he releases me, opening the van door and placing me in the drivers seat. "Are you okay to drive?" He asks, and I nod. Feeling some of my usual acerbic wit returning I quip back.
"Are you?" He smiles and nods. I look at him and I smile the first real smile I have smiled in an age. "I love you Peter." The feeling of those words leaving my lips after so long kept inside is imense, and I could say them every day for the rest of my life. He leans in and presses a soft kiss to my temple, before standing up straight and going to shut the door. I put out a hand to stop him. "Wait, you'll come by tomorrow. After you talk to Father Mac?" He nods.
"Of course," he smiles a truly idiotic grin. "I love you," he whispers and closes the door. I start the engine up and watch as he climbs into his little car. Once he's got the thing started I pull off, and once I get back to the pub I find I can hardly contain my excitement. I clean up and then get ready for bed, but really I am too full of energy to sleep, so end up cleaning the entire kitchen instead and falling asleep at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in my hands.