This is just something I wanted to dabble in, Karofsky's point of view. I might make it a series if I get some more inspiration, but yeah. Tell me what you think!
Have you ever been so scared of your own feelings, you locked yourself away? Cut off everyone and everything around you? Hurt those you love the most? Well I have. I have created a façade, another person to cover the animal inside me. But the thing is, the façade is the monster, and the person inside? Well, I'm almost too scared of him to find out.
I used to be sure of myself, I was this strong, out going, funny guy. Then he came along. The one person who could have destroyed me the whole time, but I never knew until I saw him walk, saw his lips move in such a way that it was mesmerizing. I had always been disgusted by the different, but on him it looked right, beautiful even. He was the first person who ever made me feel that way. And I hated it. Resented it. How dare he rile me up like that, how dare he make me feel something I didn't want. But the thing was I did want it, I craved it. And that was my first glimpse of the person inside of me. The person who was different. The person who craved Kurt Hummel. That's the day I became the façade, my monster.
I started throwing the slushies, I started bullying, I let my friends, or whatever you call them, persuade me into ridiculing the people I so yearned to join. But I couldn't. They were different and I was normal. I was the high school jock. They were gleeks. They were the enemy. It was so simple, but I could never wrap my head around it, not completely.
The person inside me beat inside me all the time. But I had driven him inside so much I mistook him for my heartbeat. My only connection to the madness within, but it's only now, only now that I'm writing this down that I understand. I was not mad within, I was mad on the outside. Mad in all senses of the word.