What up, Bastards!
The name is Villain-of-Awesome, and I want to introduce you to my first fan fic in friggin ages. I have absolutely no idea what inspired me to do this, but as I strolled through , I realized that I had learned a lot since discovering the site and attending college. Thus, I decided to try my luck at fan fiction once again, and hopefully not fall in with the majority of fan fic authors and create trash. So no, I assure you, I will never write a troll fic and even if my story turns out ridiculous, like the one you are about to read, I will have done the best I can to make it awesome. Thanks!
Last note: I haven't played Ocarina of Time in YEARS, so if I fuck something up, my bad.
Legend of Zelda:
Awesomeness of the Ocarina:
The Shameless Deconstruction and Parody of a Well Respected Game
A young boy in an emerald green tunic, stood almost lifelessly in front of a huge bricked building as a hard rain fell on his head. The loud crash came from the thunder of the storm, and the silence was there because no one else stood beside him. The child was alone with nothing but grass, the giant building, and a bluish, glowing, flying orb… a flying orb? A fairy?
"Regardless, this place sucks," the boy thought to himself as he stood there, dismissing the fairy like thing as soon as he noticed it, "Its wet, its cold, its lonely and… what the hell?"
The boy verbalized his thoughts as a big wooden door on the building began to slowly fall. The boy eventually realized just what he was looking at, it was a large castle, and the door was a draw bridge. The boy in green dropped his jaw just simultaneously with draw bridge as it dropped. His heart began to beat faster, the sweat began to mix with the rain as it dripped from his skin, and his muscles tightened as he prepared for whatever came next.
Then suddenly, he heard galloping. A horse? He was right. A large white horse ran as fast as it could out and away from castle. As it got closer to him, the young child noticed that the horse was carrying someone… no, two someones, who looked, to the boy, like a slim but muscular white haired dude, and with the dude rode an extremely cute and extremely well dressed young girl. Just as he noticed her, the fancily dressed girl noticed him, looking directly into his eyes as though they knew each other.
The boy wished he could have gotten a better look at the two, especially the young girl, but they were gone as quickly as they came, passing the boy and riding into the horizon.
Had he been given enough time, the child would have replayed the moment in his mind and would have noticed that the riders seemed frantic, but not a second later, the boy had seen something else rising from the castle. He wished he could see the object better, but it looked just like a shadow, as though it was covered in all black. The boy in green was correct once again. Another horse was coming, this time baring a strange but scary looking man on its back. They moved just as fast as the first group… no faster… much faster… faster than any living thing could possibly move!
"Wait a minute, that doesn't sound like a horse! What is that?" realized the boy, squinting to find out just what he was really looking at.
He found out much sooner than he thought and much sooner than he would have liked. It was a dark skinned man with short red hair and all black clothing. He carried a snarl on his face that would have betrayed him if he was trying to leave an impression as a nice man. He was also quite muscular, not simply cut like the white haired guy on the white horse, no, this man obviously took care of his body. But it wasn't him that surprised the boy. No, it was what he was riding, which was not at all a horse, but instead it was a black 2011 Kawasaki Ninja 1000 Sport!
"What up, mothafucka?" boomed the man on the motorcycle, he was obviously not nice.
The boy stood speechless due to both fear and the effect of sheer awesomeness coming from this man's bike.
"Hehehehe…" the man chuckled like the douchebag the young boy assumed he was.
This was when the man raised his hand threateningly at the child. Unfortunately for the biker, the boy was not amused.
"A hand, dude? What are you going to do, smoosh my head?" the boy said arrogantly, he was not one to easily feel threatened.
"Give it a minute..." replied the bike riding stranger undeterred, "Behold!"
And as soon as he said that, out of hammer space, black a 9 millimeter hand gun appeared in the man's hand, pointed directly at the boy's face.
"I hope you enjoy dead baby comedy, boy!" the man cackled.
Crash! The thunder and lightning flashed at a seemingly appropriate time.
"Sigh," the boy exhaled right before he looked at you… yes, you, and stated, "yes, this is that type of story. This is going to SUCK!"
End of Intro… To be continued… because you will love it!