A/N: Written as a gift for brewingtrouble on LiveJournal, who said "I'm always a fan of Sev/Lily. The word Voyeur flashed into my mind briefly, but that's asking far too much." This is not specifically set anywhere (aside from "outdoors") and although I've made them eighteen and was picturing summertime, it's not really anywhen aside from that. Just call it a bit of fantasy what-if.
Warnings: Alcohol use; unbetaed, unBritpicked; smartassed narrative tone with uneven application of too-clever phrases in a fic that actually isn't that funny (what is it with me and that?).
"That stuff is sort of foul, you know." Severus pulled a face, but licked a drop off his lips nonetheless.
"Yeah, but it works. I told you this would be fun. It is, isn't it? I think it is. I am. I'm having fun, I mean. Fine, you make something better then!"
Severus blinked a few times at the sudden change of gears in Lily's stream of excited, drunken speech. Then, having caught up to her, he replied, "Could. Just bet you I could. Yeah. Try me an' see if I don'. Yeah..."
He trailed off, not really certain where he was going with that one. His mouth didn't seem to be working properly, not to mention his brain. Severus sat up, and wished he hadn't; not because of his head, in which he was actually enjoying the slight tilting, dizzy sensation, but because it put pressure on his bladder, which he now realized desperately needed emptying.
"Unngh... gonna have us a piss, love," he said, and snorted at how ridiculous he sounded. Lily apparently thought this utterance was hilarious, because she fell back onto the ground and started giggling and shrieking. Severus rolled his eyes at her and pushed himself to his feet. Hmmm. He hadn't thought through this very far, had he? Where could he go that would really be private enough? He didn't really want to be out of sight of Lily, but on the other hand, he really rather wanted to be out of Lily's sight.
While Severus stood there muzzily dithering, his bladder started shouting threats at him like You'd better find someplace soon, because you won't like the feeling down your leg if you don't and Hey! You up there, arsehole! No, not you, Arsehole, the other one, all the way up there on top. Yeah! You! I mean it. I'm not just whistling Dixie here.
Wondering who or what "Dixie" was, Severus tromped off towards a clump of young ash trees. "Just don't look."
She rolled onto her stomach and pillowed her head on her arms. "Oh, I won't." She batted her eyelashes at his retreating form.
Lily, of course, had every intention of looking. Severus had apparently failed his battle with biology, since the spot he'd chosen as an impromptu lav was not as far away as Lily supposed he'd wish. Either that, or his depth perception was as shot as hers was at the moment.
She watched, fascinated, as Severus unfastened his flies and pushed the waist of his pants just underneath his penis. She started feeling a bit shy when he took himself in hand, though, and averted her eyes a split second before she heard the sound of urine starting to flow. An image flashed through her mind of Severus having his penis in hand in an entirely different context, and she would have blushed if her cheeks hadn't already been quite pink from the gin.
Quite embarrassed now, Lily rolled onto her side and contemplated the part-empty bottle that lay beside her. As a distraction, she started trying to mentally list off the various herbs that went into gin while humming tunelessly to cover the sound she was hearing from over in the ash trees. In a few moments she startled out of her entanglement in just how the hell you spelled Glycyrrhiza glabra* anyway when Severus plopped down beside her again with an undignified whump.
"Much better," he sighed.
"Hi," Lily said without moving.
"Hi," he replied, tilting his head sideways and giving her a sweet, crooked half-smile. He was feeling rather buoyant and playful, like everything he said was terribly witty, even more so than usual. He was relaxed and confident, and Lily looked happy, and wasn't that everything that needed to be right with the world?
Lily thought his expression was an awfully silly one to find on a Severus, even a drunk one, and as she didn't have the greatest control over her faculties at the moment, she couldn't help the resurfacing of the thought of the other somewhat silly thing she had just seen he kept in his pants. She tried to hide a giggle behind her hand, but as her hand was not soundproofed, this was not terribly effective.
"What's so funny?" Severus said, his own humour dissipating.
"Nothing," she said, but she knew the snicker in her voice was giving her away. "Well..." She coughed delicately and swallowed. "It's a little... funny, isn't it?"
"What is?" Severus was genuinely bewildered now.
"That is! Your... you know! Kinda... well... er, smaller than I'd..."
Severus's eyes went wide, showing the full circles of his dark irises against the whites. "You fucking didn't." He collapsed backwards and planted his hand over his face. "Oh, God, you fucking did!" he moaned into it. "Lily, why? You said you wouldn't, why did you lie? God and fuhmmrrff..." Anything else he was trying to say was lost as he bit the scant flesh of his palm as best he could to try to stop the flow of his swearing.
Lily felt terribly guilty. Of course he was sensitive about that; weren't all boys? It was their second identity—or maybe their first, to listen to some of her friends tell it. And of course she'd had to go and let a mention of its size slip out of her mouth, which was doubly stupid because intellectually she knew perfectly well that the soft state was much different from the erect one.
Erect one. Oops. Good going, brain; bring that thing up (augh!) again, why don't you?
Despite Lily's best efforts, which were admittedly a bit hampered at present, her disobedient imagination once again presented her with the image of Severus masturbating. Lily firmly ordered it to stop, but it merely compounded its insubordination by additionally offering a dreamed-up glimpse into his mind, where it seemed that a goodly number of thoughts of herself were involved. The hand he was biting was to muffle a different sort of sounds as with the other he was—
Lily felt a blush prickle across her skin that had nothing to do with the gin, followed by a wave of courage that probably did.
"Sev," she murmured, grasping the hand on his face by the wrist. He resisted as she tried to pull it away. "Sev," she repeated, more forcefully, and this time he relented, although the expression the hand revealed was still mortified.
"I was just curious," she continued in the same low voice, and let one corner of her mouth quirk in what she hoped was a cutely mysterious fashion. (She was only eighteen, after all, and just starting to learn the fine art of seducing eighteen-year-old boys, something which was probably easier than she suspected at the time.) "I wanted to... I wanted to see you."
Severus's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, but he said nothing. Lily laced the fingers of their two hands together and tugged Severus toward her by the arm.
"Show me more, some time?" she whispered, and brushed her lips against his. She watched his eyes flutter nearly closed as he drew in a tiny breath, and when they opened again, they were filled with heat. The hand that was clasping hers gripped tightly as Severus plunged forward for a real kiss, shyness (not to mention mortification) apparently forgotten.
Lily was surprised but pleased at his eagerness. She'd been wondering for some time whether Severus really thought of her that way, although she hadn't had that motivation in mind when she lit on the idea that it would be fun to get him drunk.
Some part of her mumbled that this was just alcohol revealing Severus's baser instincts and it didn't really have anything to do with her at all, but another part argued back that even if that was true, at least he must find her attractive, and that was a start. Lily decided to leave these two debaters alone in their desolate, echoing forum and turn as much focus as she could muster onto the tongue that was in her mouth and the hands that were pushing into her hair and traveling down to her bottom.
Hey, he likes my bum! she found some hitherto unnoticed little bit of her mind saying brightly, and chose to tag along with that one for the time being. It took up the tour guide's mantle enthusiastically, and began to spout off in great detail about the attractions Miss Lily was currently viewing. One in particular was apparently considered the crown jewel: "If Miss will direct her attention downwards, she will notice that Master Severus has most accomodatingly moved up her appointment to be shown more 'some time' to being shown more right now."
It seemed the impromptu guide was perfectly correct: Severus was incredibly, wonderfully hard, his erection pressing firmly against the fabric of his trousers. She sneaked a hand down between their bodies and cupped it, finding the feel of it wonderfully satisfying against her palm.
Severus moaned into the kiss and involuntarily pressed himself forwards into Lily's hand. He couldn't believe what was happening, drink or no drink, but certainly wasn't going to ask any fucking questions. His mouth was on hers and his cock was in her hand (discounting a couple paltry, insignificant layers of clothing) and it was all amazing, and wasn't that everything that needed to be right with the world?
"Lily," he said, somewhat muddled since she was still in the middle of kissing him. He pushed her back a little and repeated, "Lily, I—"
"Severus," she said breathlessly, and delved into the space between their bodies with both hands now, her palms pressing hotly against his fiercely erect and, it seemed to him, even hotter penis. Yeah-yeah-what-the-fuck-are-you-pissing-about-for-you-arsehole-get-me-inside-her! was about the most articulate way to describe what it was saying, but somehow Severus doubted its desires were very practical, despite how interested Lily seemed to be.
He watched her apparently staring in fascination at the fabric-covered lump in her hand, her chest heaving slightly as she caught her breath. He blinked, and didn't quite know what to say.
"...Er, ah... okay?" was all that finally came out.
"Lovely," Lily replied.
Severus snorted; now that had to be bollocks. While he knew he could never have a female's perspective on the thing, he also knew without question that "lovely" was an adjective that couldn't possibly apply to it. He thought back to her looking at him a few minutes ago and felt new waves of exposure and shame. Not that he was anything to owl home about in any case, but that had to be about the least lovely way she could possibly have seen him. Why'd she have to pick him to try out being a peeping Tom on?
"No I'm—isn't," he said, shame turning to irritation and anger. Scowling, he rolled away from Lily and sat up. He considered the gin bottle for a moment, but thought better of it. Fun was one thing, but Severus wasn't his father; he at least knew that when you were already pissed off about something no good could possibly come of pouring (more) alcohol on top of it.
"Sev, what—" Lily began, sitting up beside him and putting her hand on his shoulder. When she saw how his scowl only deepened and he flinched from her touch, though, she changed tack a bit.
"Severus," she said quietly, running her fingertips through his hair just behind his ear. He closed his eyes at the sound and the sensation, feeling his resolve to be angry with her suddenly wilting like his cock wasn't. Damn it! Why was he such a fool for her saying his name that way?
He ought to be angry with her; he even wanted to be. Anger was comfortable for him. He liked the way the emotion burned through his veins, giving him strength, making him feel justified: someone else was wrong and he was right. Well, she'd just better not say—
Shit. There it was, the magic word stronger than most of the incantations he knew, if used properly. He held his breath.
"I guess it must have seemed like I was making fun of you. I wasn't, Severus, really."
Oh, and there was his name again. That hand softly petting his hair and neck was really not helping things, either. It wasn't fair! How come these simple acts from her had so much power over him, when he had none over her?
"So I'm sorry I was letting myself act like an idiot. This stuff, it's not good for your IQ, is it?" Lily chuckled softly, then lowered her voice shyly. "Although it was nice to know you might want me like I want you."
Severus's eyes flew open at that. Want her? The word was scarcely strong or nuanced enough. Did plants want rain and sunlight? Did magpies want to lay claim to glittering treasures? Did wizardkind want magic? It was instinct, craving, compulsion, devotion, adoration; it was the need for the essentials of life. She couldn't possibly feel that way about him, could she?
He turned to look at her, and the breath he'd been holding trickled out in a long sigh of wonder. Lily's eyes seemed nearly luminous in the twilight, and the loving, desirous expression on her face pierced through him so pleasurably. A strange, yet warm feeling of confidence and power began pooling in his belly, a seed taking sweet root somewhere in his heart. Maybe he did have something to go on with.
He affected a shy smile and shook his head slightly, dropping a few bits of his hair down across his eyes like he sometimes would drop the whole curtain. He looked at Lily past the dark strands and saw that she was half-hiding a somewhat wider smile with her hand. Hmm. Apparently she found this behaviour... cute. Although Severus wasn't about to begrudge the approval, he was definitely not fond of that particular word; time for a different strategy.
He leaned back onto his elbows and stretched his legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankle. He felt rather funny about this, as he knew he was basically bones stitched together with skin, but he did his best to think lean rather than scrawny.
His shirt rode up slightly, exposing a little skin at the level of his navel, so he shifted up a bit more, causing the waist of his too-loose trousers to pull down so that a small, shadowy hollow was created between his hip-bone and the trail of hair that led into his pants.
He regarded Lily neither straight-on nor sideways, tipping his chin just a certain way so that he displayed jawline and throat to what he reckoned was their best advantage, and made his hair spill down between his shoulders to touch the ground.
He let his eyelids droop slightly and tried to make the gaze from underneath them be as dark and intense as he could muster.
He spread the shy smile into a wicked, wicked smirk.
Lily blinked, and her playful smile faded. But the expression that took its place wasn't anything like sadness or anger or disappointment, oh, no.
Severus had been half expecting the pounce. (Well, he'd been half hoping for it. Or half hoping she wouldn't laugh, at least.) But he had not expected the feral growling-purring noise that had come from Lily's throat just beforehand.
He suddenly found himself pressed against the ground by eight or nine stone of the most welcome weight in the world. His heartbeat and breathing were already going as fast as they could, or they would have quickened further as she lapped his kisses up like cream.
The gin bottle lay forgotten.
(Who needed it?)
* Glycyrrhiza alba = licorice, the sweet root of which is one of the many herbal ingredients used in gin besides the dominant flavouring of juniper berries. The name of the genus literally means "sweet root".**
** This fanfic has been footnoted for the lazy and the Google-impaired.