I do not own any character from DC or Disney, and am just borrowing them for a work of fiction meant for entertainment purposes only.
Kim Possible: Clash of the…..Titans?
"What's the sitch, Wade," Kim asked as she jumped from the second story of her apartment building to land in low, rolling crouch that put her right at the driver's side door of her Roth. "And can it wait? I've got a ferociously postponed date with….."
"Sorry, Kim. Upperton Institute of Technology really needs your help."
Kim eyed the boyish figure on the wrist Kimmunicator's digital screen and sighed. "What happened this time?"
"Actually, they're not sure. Some kind of portal opened up without warning in one of the labs, and a really strange woman is demanding you and Shego be brought to her, or the world will be destroyed."
"Yes. You, and Shego."
"I don't suppose you have any…..?"
She rolled her eyes for even asking as the young genius' face faded, and the screen shifted to a filtered security footage that showed four scientists huddled to one side of a glowing circle in space that gave Kim strange feelings of déjà vu.
Then the camera panned, and she was staring at a very stocky, very mannish woman with wild, white hair who would have made a bull in its prime look weak and spindly.
"Just a minute. I'm scanning the portal. You wouldn't believe the readings I'm getting out of that thing….."
"Volume, Wade," she sighed. "I'm seeing lips move, but not hearing anything."
"Oh. Right. Sorry, Kim. Here it is," the sometimes distracted backbone of her team grinned sheepishly as the small speaker erupted with a very unladylike voice.
"Yikes," Kim cringed at the woman's sound as she bellowed, "You will bring these lowly women to kneel before Granny Goodness within the hour, or you will be made to suffer as you cannot imagine!"
"Yeah. It's pretty much been like that for fifteen minutes now. So far I can't say much for certain, but you should know, there's a force-field around the place that GJ, or the military have been unable to penetrate."
"Right. Any ideas?"
"Well, other than the obvious."
"And the obvious is…?"
"Well, just that the, ah, woman is some kind of extra-dimensional traveler who has come to our world for reasons yet to be ascertained. And I don't think she's very nice. Or patient," he added, eyeing the footage that showed her now shaking a security guard by his throat before tossing him aside like a rag doll.
"Have you called Ron?"
"He'll meet you there. I'm still looking for Shego."
"You know, it's funny," Kim said as she climbed into the Roth. "If this…..woman could travel between dimensions, or whatever, why couldn't she have just showed up where I am?"
"I get the feeling she also likes an audience," Wade said.
"Don't they all," Kim sighed again, rolling her eyes as she started her car, and rather than drive, went to airborne mode as small but powerful airfoils appeared, and lifted the vehicle into the air. In just seconds she was on her way as her transponder alerted the local air traffic controllers she was in the region.
"I'll let them know you're coming. Maybe that will make the woman…..cool off."
"Wade, I get the feeling a winter in Alaska wouldn't cool that one off," she grimaced as she switched her connection over to the dashboard Kimmunicator. "Now tell me you scanned the background. Am I seeing overgrown….monkeys back there?"
"Those aren't monkeys, Kim," Wade told her as the image now panned to show a hunching, twisted caricature of a humanoid thing in green and gold. "I'm not sure what they are, but my wireless scan isn't showing any human readings. These things, whatever they are, are completely alien."
"Where are the big capes when this kind of thing happens," she groaned.
"I think they're out in space dealing with that new asteroid the ESP spotted," he told her.
"Of course," she agreed, and banked to avoid a tower as she gained altitude. "Just tell me how these guys might stack up next to the Lorwardians?"
"Well, the woman isn't as tall, but her molecular density suggests she's probably built like a tank. With the brawn to match. Same with the….dog-boys."
"Dog-boys, Wade," she groaned.
"Well, I'm not sure what else to call them, Kim."
"Neither am I. Keep me posted on whatever else you can find out. And let me know when you find Shego. Will you?"
"I've got everyone out looking for her, but you know how she can be," Wade informed her before the signal went down.
Kim, having woke to a new day thinking that things were going to be quiet for once, felt more than a little irritable. Did these people just wait to ensure she had a day off with plans before they came calling? Honestly!
"I'm telling you that doesn't go there," Shego snapped, not even looking up from her magazine.
"Who's the evil genius here? Well, world-saving genius? Since we are technically retired. From doing bad, that is. And while we are retired, I meant only that we are no longer evil. Not that I am not a genius. Which I am. In fact….."
"Yada, yada, yada. I'm just saying," Shego told him, looking over the top of the magazine she was reading, "That if you don't put in the support bar first, and put that cross-section on the other side, the entire structure is going to fall apart."
"Oh, please. I just told you I know exactly what I'm…"
He paused to stare down at the sudden, ignominious collapse of multiple parts of wooden, and coated, aluminum bars that were to have formed a rather large, and sturdy crib.
"Told ya," she chirped in singsong fashion as she used the magazine to hide her smirk. "So, how is that a…..genius of your caliber can cobble together twenty story death rays without blinking, but you can't follow the directions to put a simple little bed together.
"It….has instructions," he asked blankly, looking around in the chaos created after he had opened the box delivered by Henchco, Unltd. just that morning.
Shego tried very hard not to laugh.
"You know, Drew. If, and I stress if we ever have a child, remind me never to let you put the crib together."
"Meh. What have I said about the hurtful words, Shego," he grumbled, combing the wreckage for any clue to order. "Besides, you know very well that this is a surprise for Cousin Eddie and his new girlfriend he met while in stir. Although, how she ended up pregnant while he was still inside is beyond me. Unless he had one of those furloughs, and instead of working, he….."
"Way too much info, Doc," she growled as she put her magazine aside to stand up, walked over, kicked aside a piece of the shredded box, and picked up a single sheet of off-white paper. "Looking for this?"
Drew glared, but snatched the paper, eyed the diagram, and huffed. "Well, any idiot could do that."
Shego sniggered as she walked over the TV, and asked, "So, when are you going to get me another remote," as she switched on the flatscreen he had actually managed to repair without doing anything calamitous this time.
Unfortunately, the same could not be said for the remote that ended up opening another dimension to some place where everything looked black and white with strange bipedal amphibians ran around bashing people with ninja weapons. She had not let him near a remote control since.
"Let's see if there's anything good on…"
She paused as the image of the vaguely feminine behemoth glowering into the camera demanded, "You are making Granny lose her patience! If those craven little women are not delivered to me very soon, I will begin unleashing hell on your world that you cannot yet imagine! Now," she roared with a voice that sounded like gravel in a garbage disposal. "Bring me Kim Possible and Shego!"
"Say what," Shego blinked. "What is this," she fumed, and eyed the banner scrolling on the bottom that declared, 'Strange Portal Produces Alien Threat In Upperton!'
"Drew, you didn't have anything to do with…..?"
"Eh," he asked, looking up from a sliding rail he was trying to fit to the wrong end of a headboard. "Do with what?"
Then his eyes fixed on the images on the screen.
"Tell me you don't know that cow," Shego groaned.
"Well, actually, we've met. Of course, it has been some time. And I rather hoped I covered my steps after I fled…. Ahem, that is, after I left her planet…"
"Her….planet," Shego groaned. "Please tell me this isn't another Warmonga."
"Oh, no. She's much worse," Drew assured her.
"Great. So, why is she calling me and Princess out?"
"I don't know. Usually she's targeting someone else. You know, real heroes, and…. Uhm…. That is….. I am certain that I don't know," he snapped, and stalked over and jerked the power cord out of the socket, blanking the television screen. "And it doesn't likely involve us. So just let that infernal cheerleader handle her, and don't get involved. Trust me," he huffed, walking back to the crib. Or rather, the mass of parts destined to be a crib. "You don't want to be involved."
Shego frowned, eyeing him as he went back to fretting and fuming over pieces of the crib he tried to match even as he blatantly ignored the crumpled directions laying not far away after he had carelessly tossed them aside.
Glancing at the now blank TV, she began to smile, and turned to head for the hangar. It was a slow day anyway. Actually, she allowed, it had been a slow month. And she hated to be bored.
"Wade, I'm outside the lab. Anything new," she asked as she noted the police making room for her landing.
"Nothing yet, Kim. I'm still deciphering the data I'm getting, but I did figure out that the portal isn't from another dimension. It's a spatial wormhole of some kind. In short, you could conceivably use it to cross vast distances almost instantly."
"Okay. So it's another invasion?"
"Could be," the young genius allowed with a shrug as Kim chose to activate her nanno-driven battle suit at that point, "Because I'm still not getting why the…ah, woman is only asking for you and Shego."
"Speaking of which. Any word on her or Ron?"
"Ron's still an hour out," he told her as she landed, and climbed out of the car, the silvery-white suit already formed around her lithe, wiry body. "No word on…..?"
"Hey, Princess. Lose the buffoon again," a sardonic voice chortled as a sleek, green sports car slid to a stop near hers, and a familiar woman stepped out.
"Shego," Kim nodded grimly. "I take it you heard about our….invitation."
"I just saw her ugly face on the tube. She's preempted all my favorite shows. And you know how I love my shows," Shego said wickedly.
"Drew didn't come along," she asked as Wade waited silently on the Kimmunicator screen.
"He's…. Occupied. Not that he would be much help. He did say he had ran across this harpy a few years back, and that she was apparently bad news. The kind even he favored ducking."
"O-kaaaaay. Wade. You might confab with Drew, and find out what he knows. Meanwhile, I'll go in….."
"We'll go in," Shego corrected.
"And find out what the sitch is. Have EMTs standing by for those hurt people. Hopefully we can distract those…..dog-boys long enough to buy the hostages, and the injured, time to escape."
"Standing by, Kim. I suggest you keep the frequency open so I can monitor everything. The internal cams are a bit iffy right now. That portal is throwing out some serious interference all of a sudden."
"Right. Here we go," she said, and walked toward the front door where several armed, SWAT officers nodded grimly at them as Shego sauntered along beside her.
"So, what's the plan, Kimmie? Just jumping in with both feet again, or what?"
"Actually, I'm going to go in, distract the baddies, and hopefully get her talking while you get the injured out of there. Two security guards are down, and likely hurt bad the last I saw. And there are five other scientists inside the lab that aren't in much better shape."
"So I'm backup," she huffed.
"Just focus on getting the people out, Shego. Then we can decide what else to do if talking doesn't work," she said as they walked down the long corridor to where a pair of doors hung open, one of them gaping drunkenly. A body lay nearby those doors where a responding officer had tried to interfere. He wasn't moving. Kim tried not to think of why.
"Fine. Fine," she said, gesturing to the SWAT officers moving slowly behind them now, but staying well back.
With no windows, only the one door, the lab was a hard site, and impossible to infiltrate. And that downed officer had already shown what happened to anyone who got too close who wasn't among the guests of honor.
"Welllllll," the mannish female cooed viciously as she turned to see Kim appear in the door. "It took you long enough, little girl. Great Darkseid doesn't like to be kept waiting. Neither does Granny."
"And who is Darkseid," Kim asked, gesturing discreetly for Shego to stand back as she entered the room, casually moving to one side to draw the woman's gaze with her.
"You might as well invite your friends to come in, too," the bigger woman grinned smugly. "Not that they can do anything but bear witness to Granny Goodness' might, and the Almighty Darkseid's glory. But as I definitely want the little green girl, too. So, do step in, child," she drawled as she stared pointedly at the door.
"How about you let my friends take the injured out of here," Kim asked. "Then we can talk."
"Talk," the white-haired, bipedal tank chortled. "Let me show you what we of Apokolips think of chatting, little puppy," she sneered, and turned to snap at one of the dog-boys. "Parademons, kill these vermiiiiiiinnnnnnnn!"
Her howl came from being slammed halfway across the lab to end up buried under a collapsing storage locker as a burst of green flame exploded through the door.
"Everyone out," Shego shouted even as she leapt forward, a flying kick sending one of the green and gold clad creatures slamming into another wall as Kim intercepted another who was closing on one of the unconscious security guards.
"Move," the SWAT officer in the door shouted as several of his men raced in to drag out the unconscious, or help those too injured to move.
"Clear the building guys," Shego shouted. "I have the feeling this is going to get….."
Kim and Shego both tensed, turning as the fallen locker was literally shredded by sheer strength as the big woman seemed to burst through the metal bin more than she shoved it aside.
"Well, well, well. You're as promising as I hoped," the woman said as she pulled out a small, square device. "You are both perfect for the plans I have made for you."
"Don't suppose you intend to tell us what those plans are," Kim asked uneasily as the dog-boys began to close around them, and even Shego looked concerned. Even the two she had dropped were back up, and she had never seen anyone shrug off her plasma so easily. It was not looking good.
"You're about to find out, my little chickees," the woman cackled, and pressed a switch that had the portal starting to collapse. But only after it began to suck down anything not bolted down. Including her and Shego!
"Damn it, I should have listened to Drew! Princess," Shego howled as she went flying after the redhead who had already been dragged into the glowing gateway. Then she, too, was gone.
"Come," the woman snapped at the creatures around her as Granny walked more casually into the shrinking threshold of the glowing portal. When the last parademon followed her, the passage burst like a balloon, and was simply gone.
Even as silence fell back over the lab, the sounds of footsteps running filled the air, and a panting man in black burst into the lab, and stood panting in the doorway. "Kim? Kim, I'm here? KP?"
Frowning, he pulled out a small digital communicator, and switched it on. "Wade, it's me. What's up? Am I in the wrong place?"
"No, Ron," Wade said grimly as he appeared on the device's small screen. "I was just about to call you. Whoever that was, she took Kim and Shego through the spatial gateway she was using."
"Gateway? Oh, man, Wade. Tell me you have a lock," the monkey-master groaned.
"I do. Fortunately, she still had her Kimmunicator on, and it let me track the coordinates."
"Unfortunately," Ron sighed.
"Yeah, there's a down side. Back-tracing the porthole, and bouncing the signal off several satellites, and a few deep space probes outside the solar system, it looks like she's about three hundred thousand light years from here."
"Oh, man, we are really going to miss our reservation. Uh, I don't suppose you can get me there?"
"No. But for some reason, I think Drew Lipski can."
"Drew….? Not Drakken," Ron groaned.
"You have to admit, he's…..a bit more competent as a good guy than he ever was as a villain. Besides, I was studying some of his early work he published after he went straight, and I think he might have created a dimensional vortex similar to the one that just took Kim and Shego. He might be able to….."
"Okay. But, Drew," Ron groaned.
"It's all we've got, Ron," Wade admitted. "I might be able to build…..something. But not in time to help."
"Ride," Ron sighed.
"I think Kim's car is still outside. And tell Drew your best chance of following them is going to be coming back here to open your gate in the same area that woman left. It might help synchronize the portals so you don't get too far off spatially, or temporally."
"I'll tell him," Ron said, rolling his eyes. "Or better yet, I'll let you tell him. I'm on my way. Open up the Roth? I'd rather Annie didn't try to fry me. Again," he grimaced, knowing the AI that protected Kim's car could be…..finicky.
"Already on it," Wade nodded.
"Nice place," Shego muttered as she and Kim both dangled from chains in a very dimly lit chamber.
Kim, just coming around after landing face first on an alien world where the air smelled of sulfur, ozone, and something worse. She had barely landed on the searing, blasted surface of that grim world when something or someone had struck her from behind, and she knew nothing until her eyes opened on the grim dungeon she now occupied, dangling by her wrists against a cold, stone wall.
She glanced around even as Shego spoke, noted the desiccated bodies, and even a few skeletons, most of them very obviously far from human, and shuddered as she realized she was only wearing her usual mission gear. No battle suit.
"You awake yet, Pumpkin?"
"I have to be. I don't usually have dreams like this," she muttered, rolling her shoulders, using her heels to push off the wall, and did a handstand using her chains like rings to support herself.
"Cute," Shego huffed. "I don't suppose you have a way out of here? For some reason, these shackles won't let me 'light up.'"
"Yeah, I noticed my battle suit and Kimmunicator is gone, too. Still, no big," Kim remarked, now supporting herself on the one shackle as she balanced precariously while crooking her wrists even as the tip of one of her gloves sprouted a long, slender pick when she pressed the sides of the finger. "I've been in worse places," she remarked carelessly. "I'm just surprised they got you locked up so easily."
"Who said it was easy, Kimmie," she huffed. "But these people have like a bazillion of those parademons, as that old hag called them, and they just don't stop coming."
"So, what we need to do is stay low, find whoever is in charge, and take them down while waiting for rescue."
"You do know we're probably on some weird planet on the wrong side of our galaxy. If not in another dimension."
"No. It's just another planet. Wade was pretty sure it wasn't extra-dimensional."
"Well, gee," Shego huffed as the first shackle fell from Kim's wrist before she dropped lightly to her feet, then easily reached up to pick the other. "That just makes me feel so much better."
"I thought it might," she said, and walked over to free Shego.
"What now. No air ducts, and I don't think your fingernail is going to pick that door," she said as they walked across the dank cell to eye the heavy, steel door.
Kim eyed the panel, glanced around, and grinned.
"Maybe, but whoever these guys are, they're still pretty careless," she said, and reached into her equipment belt to pull out a small lipstick tube.
"Because they didn't take your make…..up," Shego sputtered, then watched with a sour expression as the tube fired a small, powerful laser that cut through the thick hinges on the far side of the door.
"Who needs the key if you take the door off its hinges," she stated smugly.
"I almost forgot how sneaky you and your nerdlinger were," she sighed as Kim stepped back, and gestured at the door.
"Care to help," she asked after putting the laser away. "This door looks like a two-woman job."
"Whatever. But I suggest we stick to the laying low portion of the plan. I get the feeling whoever or whatever runs this place is not going to be as easy to take down as Dr. D."
Kim grimaced. "If 'Granny' is any indication, I'd have to say you're probably right. Still, our best chance is still to find out all we can, and if we can drop him, we should take the chance."
"Okay. Okay. But I'm starting to remember why I got out of this biz," she grumbled.
"Getting too old," Kim teased.
"Oh, you're going to pay for that one, Princess," she growled as her hands flamed even as she reached for the edge of the door near the top hinge.
"Stoppable," Drew frowned as Ron walked into the lair that was home, shop, and private lab for the now freelance inventor since he had gone straight. "What are you doing here?"
"Now you get my name right," he muttered, then eyed the chaos around the blue-skinned man who seemed to be building a strange kind of erector set with no apparent rational structure in mind. "What are you doing….? Never mind. Kim's in trouble, and we need your help."
"Meh. Why should I help her? Besides, isn't that your job…..?"
"Shego's in trouble, too. She's with Kim."
"Nonsense, she's right ther… Ah, where did she go?"
Drew turned to look at Shego's chair, saw the magazines on the table beside the chair, but saw no indication of the green-skinned woman that usually occupied that seat.
"Told you, dude," Ron said with a roll of his eyes. "Listen, some weird alien chick with a bad do used a portal to….."
"Oh, no," Drew turned even more pale than usual as he turned to the TV that was currently off. "She didn't. She wouldn't."
"Who didn't? What?"
"I told her not to go. That creature is dangerous. Her friends are even worse!"
"Something tells me Wade was right. Listen, Drew. That alien woman grabbed Kim and Shego, and took them….somewhere. We need your help…."
"Oh, I know who they are. They are…..true evil," Drew declared, stabbing the air with his finger. "The kind of evil that, alas, even I could only dream of achieving. The kind of evil that….."
"Drew! Focus. We need a way to follow them. Wade said you might have a way to follow them. To get them back."
"Oh, all we need is my television remote. Oh, and my will. Definitely need to update that. And I should check my life insurance premiums. Should have that paid up. By the way, do you happen to know a good life insurance salesman? My carrier isn't that good, and I suspect we may need to add on to….."
"Hey. Drew. Forget that. All we have to do is find them. Then bring them back. It's that simple."
"And you think I'm naïve?" The man huffed, and walked over to a door that proved to the entrance to a very cluttered lab. "I'm not going anywhere without…. Well, something to defend myself with. Say, a portable molecular destabilizer. Yes, that should do it. It might even buy us time to escape before they flay us alive."
"Dude, who are these people? They can't be that bad!"
"Oh, they are. No. Actually they're worse. Actually, they're worse than worse."
"Okay, Drew," Ron groaned as Drew went to flinging things over his shoulder as he hunted whatever it was he was looking for just then. "Deep breath, and tell me just who they are, and how you met?"
"Well, it was on a Wednesday," Drew paused thoughtfully, just before pulling open another drawer on the huge lab table filled with drawers and cabinets. "I recall, because I was feeling blue. Especially since the day before I had just turned blue due to the most curious quirk of fate when I…"
Ron rolled his eyes as Drew took to his story in dramatic fashion, taking the long way around the mountain, as his grandmother would say, to explain how he accidentally rewired a dimensional viewer to function as a portal that led him to a world where the air itself was aflame, and every single creature seemed dedicated to destroying anything and everything in its path. And their leader was even worse!
"Ah! Found it," Drew suddenly interrupted himself to hold up a genuine TV remote. "Hmmmm, I should check the batteries. I'm always having trouble with those things. I mean, you think they would mark the slots a little better so you didn't always put them in backwards….."
Ron rolled his eyes as the blue-skinned scientist now went to hunting batteries, since he had apparently removed them.
Kim signaled to Shego as they rounded the corner, and stared down a long, dark corridor.
"Well, no air ducts."
"It was a joke," Kim told her, easing around the corner, and moving cautiously toward the first of several doors.
"Leave the jokes to the sidekick. You stink at them."
"Says you," Kim huffed. "Ron happens to think….."
"Never mind," she blushed. "Let's try this door," she gestured when she stopped at the fourth door they approached after bypassing three others.
"Why not any of the others?"
"They looked dusty. Barely used. No wear on the lever, or floor. This one looks like it's had a lot of traffic. Maybe it's where they stash all the stuff they confiscate from prisoners."
"Still looking for your toy watch?"
"That watch is our best hope of rescue. Wade will be able to track my signal from it, and I have the feeling I'm going to need my battle suit more than ever judging from the brief glimpse of this world I had before someone dropped me."
"Yeah. About that," Shego said with a grimace.
"What," Kim asked, turning from testing the lever, and finding it open.
"Nothing. I…. Uh, tried to help," she mumbled.
She didn't add she had landed right on top of Kim after coming through the portal, slamming her facedown in the dirt with a knee in the back of her head. Not her best move. Still, in her defense, she had been freefalling through a weird, otherworldly portal.
"Anyway, let's just find your doohicky, and get out of here."
"And score one for us," she grinned as Kim saw the shelves of technology laying around a large table where some of it had obviously been taken apart, and was being examined. She found her own Kimmunicator, and her grapple setting on one end of the table in plain sight.
"Guess even galactic bad guys can be careless," Shego murmured, eyeing some of the hardware around them as Kim holstered her grapple, and then buckled her Kimmunicator back on her left wrist. The signal, she saw, was switched off. Twisting a dial, she switched it on, and activated a random, repeating frequency that only Wade would know to look for if he were still connected.
She had to hope he was. Right now, it was all they had.
"What is that, she turned to see Shego examining a verge, metallic weapon of some kind that looked like a magnum on steroids.
"Whatever it is, I'm hoping it helps level the playing field," she smirked. "Trust me, if Drew were here right now, he'd be….."
"Fleeing in terror?"
"Well, aside from that," Shego sniggered. "He'd be drooling over this alien tech stuff. He's been a bit off lately, though. I think it's that stupid plant mutagen he still has in his system. I mean, you do not want to be around when he starts crowing about all he can do with those vines of his."
"Do I want to know," Kim frowned.
That smile did not bode well.
"You're sure this is the place. It hardly looks like the place a galactic evil of this magnitude would drop by even to present the usual ultimatums. I mean….."
"Doc," Ron cut him off. "This is the place. We just have to synch up with Wade, and…."
"Fine. You don't have to get huffy."
"I'm just concerned," he frowned.
"About us! This may well be a one-way trip. You know that don't you? We're talking about evil on a scale….."
"Already heard the story," he cut the man off, wondering if him and Mr. Dr. P had more in common than they realized. "Besides, we both know Kim and Shego are probably the two toughest women on the planet. I'm sure they'll be waiting for us when we get there. We just have to get there."
"Well, granted they are tough. But we're talking about this planet. That planet…."
"You want to tell Shego that?"
"Meh. No. Not really. Fine, we may as well go," he said, and held out his remote.
"Wade. We're ready. Got those coordinates yet?"
"I've calculated the closest jump point to where they were going….. Hold on. I think I'm picking up Kim's beacon again. It's really faint, but…. Yes," Wade's small image cheered on Ron's communicator screen. "It's her! She's broadcasting again!"
"So you can lock on, and take us right to her," Ron asked.
"Uh, no. Not really. I have her general coordinates, but considering the distance, and the interference still blocking a precise lock, I can't promise anything but a general vicinity. You'd better be ready for trouble when you get there," he added as he began to feed the new coordinates into his communicator.
"Always," Ron nodded.
"Of course," Drew sighed. "Sure you can't just….."
"Dude, you're the only one that likely knows how to work that thing," Ron pointed out to him. "So, let's go."
"Fine. Fine. By all means," he said as he accepted the new coordinates to plug into his altered remote. "Let's go get ourselves killed."
Ron sighed, and waited for the man to operate the innocuous device, and then a glowing circle of light opened in the air before them as the police at the door shouted, ordering the press that had been with them to get back.
An instant later, Ron and Drew Lipski both vanished into the shimmering gateway between worlds.
"…and that is just the foreplay," Shego was telling the furiously blushing redhead trying to ignore Shego as she scouted the next corridor.
"I mean ordinary stuff," Kim grimaced. "Surely he found something….useful …. I mean, normal to use….."
"What? You don't think a screaming orgasm is useful…?"
"Shego," she hissed at the tittering woman.
"Well, he still can't open a pickle jar to save his life," she grinned. "But, at least he doesn't ask me hand him something every other second the way he…" She paused, frowned, and sighed. "Well, I mean, not usually."
Kim rolled her eyes. "You two are….."
"Pot and kettle, Kimmie," Shego huffed. "Remember, I've spent time with Monkey-boy."
"What," she sputtered.
"Now you're just being weird. You know what I mean."
Kim only glared at her now as they continued to travel the maze of corridors looking for a way out.
"Oh…..snap," Drew grimaced as they emerged in a dank room filled with alien hardware occupied by a single man wearing a worn, shapeless cloak. Still, there was enough of his face visible for them to realize the man was horribly scarred.
"You," the vicious scientist fixed dark eyes on Drew in a baleful gaze. "So, you came back!"
"Time to go," Drew said, and grabbed Ron's shirt, dragging him after him.
"He's one guy," Ron protested as he followed Drew out into a hall, and ran for whatever shelter they could find.
"He's one guy that can command thousands of genetically-augmented demons he can summon with the push of a button," the blue-skinned scientist told him. "Plus, he's really, really mean!"
"I'll take your word for that," he told him. "Let's just find Kim and Shego, and get out of here," he told him. "I'll just find her signal on my communicator….."
"Oh, snap," Drew grimaced, patting his own pockets.
"What? What is it?"
"I, er, think…. That is, I may have….."
"What," Ron sputtered, pulling out his communicator to get a fix on Kim.
"I think I dropped my remote back there. Okay? Honestly, what is it with you people?"
Ron groaned, looked behind them, and realized instantly that they were lost.
"Any idea which way we came?"
"Now that you mention it," the hapless, self-declared genius smiled ruefully.
Ron only groaned.
"All right. We find Kim, then we find the gizmo, and get out of here. C'mon."
"And why should I follow you when you already lead us right to….."
Ron turned a corner, saw over a dozen parademons waiting, and choosing the better part of valor, bolted down another corridor that was clear of any signs of life.
"Wait for me," Drew shouted, wasting no time in catching up.
"Any idea where we are?"
"No, but I'm getting a signal from Ron's communicator," she said, eyeing her Kimmunicator. "If this is right," she frowned, "He should be right around….."
"KP," he shouted, and ran right into her, almost knocking her flat.
"Run," Drew shouted, racing past them.
Behind him came almost fifty of the green-clad parademons.
"Uhmmmm, I'm with Doc," Shego said after a moment, and turned and raced after him.
"Let's stick together," Ron suggested. "We may need Drew to get out of here."
"Drew," Kim grimaced, and easily paced him as they headed after the other two.
"He and Wade got us here," he admitted, glancing over his shoulder at the howling, gibbering humanoid creatures literally scrambling over one another trying to reach them.
"Drew? Why not just leave now?"
"He….kind of dropped the gateway thingy he used. Back that way somewhere," he admitted, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at the living roadblock filling the corridor, and rapidly gaining on them.
"It's never easy," Kim sighed, skidding around a corner, and coming face to face with Shego and Drew, who were in the hands of a very massive, furry bipedal ape. Or that was what he looked like to Kim.
"Surrender, humans," the armored ape growled. "Or face the wrath of Kalibrrrrrk!"
"What a strange name," Drew commented as Ron leapt up, planted a foot in his craggy visage, and sent him flying back into the mass of parademons standing behind him.
"This way," Ron shouted, headed for another corridor not blocked.
"Doy," Shego retorted, not even looking back as they all ran.
"What happened to your gun," Kim asked, noting Shego was now unarmed.
"Tall, dark, and hairy broke it like a tinker toy," she admitted as they burst through a door, and emerged into a large, spacious chamber that was just as grim as the corridors they had been traversing.
"Mommy," Drew squeaked, skidding to a halt as all four looked up at the elevated dais where a grim, gray-skinned giant turned to stare down at them with a brooding glower.
"So. You dare trespass in my throne room yet again," the gray giant demanded of Drew.
"Ron," Kim hissed from near Drew as Shego skidded to a halt with them, looking around as the parademons sealed every exit out of the large chamber. "That box up there on the big guy's chair. I think that's what Granny used to open her portal."
"A Mother Box," Drew whispered back, stepping back beside her. "I used to have one, but it decided to leave. Something about poor character, or something like that."
Shego just stared at him, shaking her head. "You know this guy?"
"I did tell you that you shouldn't get involved. That these people were bad news. I very definitely recall….."
"Enough," the giant rumbled like muted thunder as he stepped toward the edge of the dais, glaring down at them. "This….farce has gone on long enough. Granny," he called, and the muscular woman appeared through one door as the parademons parted only long enough for her to enter.
"I am here, Great Darkseid."
"So you are. The question, however, is why these….creatures are here."
"They….escaped," Granny said with a wary querying tone.
"Indeed," Darkseid's expression darkened. "And how is it, Granny, that you did not have anyone watching them? How, too, did you manage to allow these human maggots to follow you?"
"I shall handle them….."
"You shall send the women to the Furies. I expect them properly instructed by the next time I look upon them. Do they survive. Kill the men. They are of little consequence."
"Now, wait one minute," Ron sputtered.
"I think it's time we introduced ourselves properly," Kim spat, and slapped a hand over her Kimmunicator, activating her battle suit.
"Booyah," Ron nodded, and took a defensive pose.
"Take them," Granny barked, and the parademons surged forward.
"Dr. D, use your vines!"
"Why didn't I think of that," he murmured even as Shego's hands burst into green flame.
"Stay together," Kim yelled as she intercepted the first of their attackers, and flung them over their heads, and toward the others charging from across the room. "Don't let them split us up!"
"Sound strategy," Drew remarked. "But staying here is hardly going to be beneficial to us. We really should….."
"Just focus, Drewbie," Ron snapped, his body starting to glow blue as his moves became more precise, and more effective as he unleashed the mystical might contained within his innocuous frame.
"Right, right," he said, and tried not to blush as bright petals blossomed around his throat even as multiple vines rose with them, and began attacking the parademons, flinging them out windows, and into walls even as other vines were sent surging toward the doors, interlacing to seal off the chamber so more could not enter.
"We need that box thingy," Shego reminded them. "Or this is going to be a short fight."
"I weary of this nonsense," Darkseid spoke over the thud of the final, standing parademon being slammed into the wall near his throne as Shego's brighter than ever plasma blasted him right out of the air.
"Don't let those hit you," Drew shouted as his thicker vines rose to form a living wall. One that was immediately vaporized as intense beams of raw energy slammed into the barrier Drew threw up between them.
"Whoa," Ron hissed.
"See, my vines can be very useful, Shego!"
"Time to call out the heavy artillery," Ron decided, and lifted a hand, focusing as a burst of blue energy materialized in his grip, forming a long, slender katana.
"You brought the Lotus Blade," Kim exclaimed even as Ron slung it around and toward the giant whose eyes were starting to glitter with crimson flames yet again.
"Ron," Kim groaned, realizing belatedly that his aim was slightly off, and the Lotus blade had flashed past Darkseid just missing his massive body at the waist.
The blade, however, did not miss the Spartan garment he wore, and shred the tunic and trunks as one before the glowing sword arched, and flashed back to Ron's hand. "At least it's not my pants this time," he huffed as he held the mystic blade at the ready.
All four stared incredulously as Granny's gasp could be heard from across the room.
Darkseid, impassive as he appeared, literally trembled with raw fury as he looked down, then back at Ron.
Ron, being Ron, declared, "Dude! Cover that up! Please!"
"Meh. He's not that impressive," Drakken huffed. "My vines make me…."
"Enough about your vines," Shego howled. "How about just getting us out of here!"
Darkseid stared at the humans, his left eye starting to twitch as the four humans met in the center of his throne room. "Granny," he growled in a voice that would have made zombies quell. "Remind me again who suggested we bring these creatures here?"
"It was DeSaad, O' Great One," the white haired woman assured him quickly, and without hesitation. "That fool thought such seemingly skilled, and potentially powerful creatures might aid you in your own efforts to….."
"Enough," Darkseid thundered, shaking the very air with his outburst as his eyes glowed with raw fury. "By the Ancients, you are worse than that caped pretender and his lackeys," he roared as the four moved to form a unified front.
"Don't look at us, gruesome," Shego grumbled. "You started it by throwing this shindig."
"Indeed. And now I shall end it!"
"Uh-oh," Drew whined, and stepped behind Shego as the massive tyrant's eyes once again glowed ominously. "You might want to duck, dear. I don't vines will work this time."
"No, you don't," Ron shouted, and flung up the Lotus Blade, forming a mystic shield even as the raw power of the tyrant's Omega Beams blasted toward them.
"Behind me," Kim shouted as she raised her own force-field over Shego and Drew.
Granny gasped as the unlikely mystic shield caught, and deflected the powerful destructive beams upwards, where they dropped a good portion of the ceiling down on top of Darkseid's own head.
"Oooooh, that's got to hurt," Kim hissed even as Darkseid stood up with a roar, just as a last piece of rubble came down and landed flat on his craggy skull, and knocked him back to his knees.
"Whoa. Talk about buns of steel," Shego exclaimed as the half naked giant rose out of the rubble.
"Shego," Drew fumed. "What about my buns! I have been working out."
"Uh, guys. Focus here," Kim suggested.
"Of course. Of course. I was just letting you distract them while I used my vines to snatch their dimensional thingy from the big guy," Drew informed them, taking a small box from one of his vines that had radiated out along the floor, and been cleverly hidden by the sloping stairs along the dais.
"You mean the Mother Box," Ron asked.
"That's what I said….."
"Just open the gate," Kim growled. "I've had enough of this place."
"Ditto," Shego told him, snatching the device, and pressing the buttons as Darkseid, his garb shredded all the more by then, regained his feet just in time to turn to see the four humans rushing into the now open boom tube.
"Sorry about the roof," Ron shouted back. "But you really should consider a skylight anyway. This place is seriously drab!"
"Seriously," Drew shouted back.
Then the boom-tube collapsed, and Darkseid stood with clenched fists staring at where the humans had been as he slowly turned toward Granny.
"Don't worry, Darkseid. I will soon have them back….."
"No," he hissed, his voice like steam escaping a cracked furnace. "Let them go," he murmured in barely subdued fury.
"But…..Great Darkseid," Granny Goodness asked in a quivering tone as he stood letting his attendants put a fresh tunic over his body, his expression even more grim than ever. "Are you truly going to let them escape so easi….. Urrrrrkkkkk!" "Granny," the demigod demanded as his hand around her throat pulled her up off her feet, and dangerously close to that furious visage after moving in a burst of speed so fast it caught her completely off-guard. "Do you truly think the reputation of Darkseid, or Apokolips is best served by acknowledging those…children harried us in our very own palace?"
Granny howled as she was flung down and away from her master, and stared up in genuine fear. He had not actually manhandled her in years. This, she knew, was not a good sign.
"Bad enough that meddling alien do-gooder flits in and out of here as he does. No one," he growled as other attendants appeared, bringing him fresh garments they helped him don. "And I stress that no one…. Is to ever speak of their presence here this day. Am I clear," he demanded so softly that Granny Goodness knew that he was just a very fine thread from snapping as the attendants bowed, and backed away after finishing their duties.
"I shall see all remain silent, Dark One," she assured him, fearful of taking her eyes off him just then.
Just in case.
"Good. Now, you said it was DeSaad that suggested we might…..exploit those….creatures? Send him to me," he said so coldly that the very blood in Granny's veins almost froze just then.
"Right away," she assured him, and backed out of the throne room as Darkseid simply stood to one side as other slaves now worked to dig his throne out.
Meanwhile, she had to get DeSaad to take the blame without him reminding their furious leader just how much of a role she had played in selecting those potential new pets she had thought for sure would be easy to break.
What was it with these humans? Did they fear nothing?
Heading for DeSaad's laboratories, she pondered just telling the sadistic doctor that Darkseid wanted him. Yes, that would do. And while DeSaad took the brunt of Darkseid's displeasure, she would visit someplace…far away.
Yes, that was the perfect ploy.
She might even slip back to Earth and show those willful ingrates just what it meant to…
"Ah, Granny," the scarred researcher into pain and death on unimaginable levels rasped as he looked up from his latest experiment. "Just in time. Darkseid said you were on your way."
"On….my way," she frowned, eyeing him as two parademons appeared, blocking her exit.
"Indeed," the gaunt, sallow features of the hooded madman smiled mockingly. "He said you have kindly volunteered for my latest experiment in pain amplification. I can't wait to try it out," he said as the door behind her closed, and the parademons grabbed her arms to drag her forward.
"So, ready for that date," Kim asked as they returned to their world in one piece, and even the air over Upperton smelled fresh and pristine after that fiasco on that weird planet.
"More than ready," he grinned, and gave Kim a hug as Drew smiled at Shego. Both more than relieved they were back home, and safe again.
"I told you to stay out of it. Don't you wish you had stayed and help me put the crib together now," Drew asked her.
"Crib," Ron and Kim paused as both echoed the same word as they shared a look, then eyed Shego.
"What? No, no, on. Not ours! Damn it, Drew, do you have to…..?"
The two heroes laughed as the unlikely couple walked off toward her car bickering, and just as she and Ron reached Kim's car, a police captain came running up, and Kim paused in the open door she had unlocked for Ron.
"Don't worry, chief," she told him. "We got rid of the…."
"Glad to hear it. But Professor Dementor just unleashed giant robotic Dachshunds on the English Dog Show in London, and they really need your help!"
Kim sighed, and eyed Ron. "Wanna come with?"
"Why not. Looks like this date night just got put on the back burner anyway."
"Drive-through," Kim asked. "It's a long way to London."
"If that's what you want," she laughed.
"You know it," the monkey-master grinned as they climbed into the car, and flew away.