Disclaimer: I DO own Lord of the Rings.....not.


"...And you shall be...the Fellowship of the Ring!..." Elrond said, spreading his arms.

"5," Elrond's counsellor #1 said, sleepy and listless.

"4," Elrond's counsellor #2 mumbled.




"Oh boy..."

"...HAHAHAHAHA!!" Elrond burst into maniacal laughter and yelled, "BUNNY FOOFOO!! That's a good one! HAHAHA!!" The whole council, save Elrond's counsellors, stared at him, unable to find anything to say. They blinked, then stared some more.

"What the-" Aragorn started.

"I'm afraid that's your future father-in-law, Estel. Yep," Counsellor #1 replied.

"Is he STILL on Nexium? Or was it Prozac?" Counsellor #2 turned to Counsellor #1.

"Nah. Today's Tuesday. He's on his second dose of anti-depressants. Prozac, did you say?" asked Counsellor #1.

"Yup," Counsellor #2 looked at the now-happy-crazed Elrond and shook his head sadly.

"Everybody needs some Proooozaaaaaaac! Everybody needs some Prooooooozaaaaaac! They make the world go rooouuunnnndd!! Heeheeheeheehee! Bweeee!!!" Elrond spun around, singing and laughing his arse off. Aragorn magically whipped out a cell phone.

"Arwen? Yeah, it's me. Aragorn. Listen, I hate to break it to ya, but our engagement, you"

"Is that my father singing over there?." Elrond was jumping around and singing, "Little Bunny Foofoo, hopping through the forest, catching all the field mice, and BOPPIN' them on the heaaaad."

" see." Aragorn said, edging away as Elrond came hopping near him.

"Oh, don't worry Estel. He's been like that for thousands of years. I promise you that by the end of this Age, he'll be far away at the Grey Havens. Very far away," Arwen reassured him.

"AGE?? That'll take YEARS, Arwen, YEARS!"

"Calm's only a couple of years,"

"Do you actually KNOW what your father is doing right now?? He's leaping in circles all around the Council and singing LITTLE BUNNY FOOFOO! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

"*groans* I hate that song.see, that's why mom purposely got herself injured on that one trip so that she can have a good excuse to go across the Sea away from father. That's why I'm in Lothlorien so much too. You know.I never DID know where my father got his Prozac pills from.was it Lossarnach? grandmother?.no, she's got Prilosec or something."

"FELLOWSHIIIIIIIIIP!! HAHAHAHAHAHA-ow," Elrond tripped on his robes and fell face-first onto the nice, hard, polished floor.

"Erm.we'll just leave then." Aragorn said, slowly moving back, then ran as fast as he could away from Elrond (the Fellowship followed him). "Arwen? Gotta go! I hafta do this mission thing.what? Nah, won't take more than a week.I'll be, I'm doing it because I have to look brave and heroic so that I'll have a better chance of being the king of Gondor.ok.YES, I have extra pairs of!.fine.goodbye!" Aragorn shut off his cell phone and it magically disappeared.

"Do we HAVE to come along?" Pippin whined.

"Yeah, we were in the middle of one of our sessions at the Medical Weight Loss Clinic!" Merry added.

"YES! WE ALL HAVE TO GO!" Aragorn yelled to everyone.

"I'm too pretty to go. You see this hair? THIS took forever to be like this! THIS is perfectionism. Perfectionism like THIS can't be ruined on a stupid quest to save the world," Legolas pouted.

"PERFECTIONISM? What the hell??" Aragorn argued.

"." Gimli said oh-so-talkatively.


"GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" Frodo screamed to Sam.

"What?? I'm THREE FEET away from you!" Sam yelled back.

"ToomanypeopletoomaypeoplespacegettingsmallerandsmallerI'mgoingtodiiiieeee." Frodo mumbled, hugging himself.

"It's only HAIR!" Aragorn threw his hands up in the air.

"It's MY hair! And THAT is a COMPLETELY different situation!!!" Legolas retaliated.

"What is THAT Pippin? A TWINKIE?? *gasp* PIPPIN! WE ARE ON A DIET! DIET!!!" Merry nearly ripped off Pippin's head.

"You're right! AHHH! I had NO idea what I was thinking!" Pippin hit his own head multiple times, then threw his Twinkie far far away, "Goodbye Twinkie."

[ Distant, far-away voice: "Ow! What's this?'s a..a..a.ohh! A interesting." ]

"IT'S YOU! IT'S YOU! AHHH! GO AWAY! YOU'RE TOO CLOSE!" Frodo covered his face.

"FRODO, YOU IDIOT! I'M SIX FRIKKIN FEET AWAY FROM YOU!!" Sam's face turned tomato-ey red.

"Down by the BAAAY! Down by the BAAAAY! Where the pretty chicks ARRRRE! Where the pretty chicks ARRRRE! I dare not go.I dare not go.back to GONDOOOR! Back to GONDOOOR! For if I do.for if I father will father will say: Have you ever seen me on fire right on a pyre? Down by the BAAAAY.." Boromir tried to get everyone to sing with him. Gandalf rubbed his forehead.

"Dear gods.Advil?.Anyone?.good.all for me."