Author's Note/Warning: Inspired by Jonathan Coulton's "Skullcrusher Mountain" (http : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v=2_ryNJVreiY)


My First (Real) Fangirl

"I can't believe that even you would do this, Sherlock. She is the Prime Minister's daughter!"

"Lestrade, she had broken into our flat nine times, littered it with stuffed animal puppies holding her photograph, and hidden herself in my bedroom. Even John admits that drastic measures were required."

"You, John?"

"Yes… but I didn't think you'd tell her that the food you were force-feeding her was puppy stew!"

"But that was the master stroke! She 'adores' puppies! Do you know how difficult it is to obtain puppies in bulk from the RSPCA?"

"You… I cooked… I'LL KILL YOU, SHERLOCK HOLMES!"


Additional note: explanatory fic forthcoming.