Authors Note: Well, I have taken forever to do this, but here it is up, if anyone is still interested. It has been ages after all - Bee x


Dear Diary

Sorry I haven't written for such a long time. I didn't really see the need to because, for once, life just lately has been pretty uneventful. Nothing has went drastically wrong, there haven't been anymore cruel, hurtful and downright sickening words and allegations to hear from bitchy self-centred cows. They are so lucky that I never hexed them. Professor Snape returned to his lofty heights and refused to acknowledge my existence for the most part as he always had done. There was really only one thing that was different from the usual way of matters, and that was Luna.

I received an owl from her at breakfast one morning, which surprised me to say the least, asking if I could meet with her by the greenhouses when everyone was at dinner. Seeing as none of the other Slytherin's would really notice my absence, and that was if they even cared about it at all in the first place, it was safe for me to go meet her. Nobody would suspect Luna of meeting with me due to her friendship with the Golden Trio, and vice versa so it was twice as safe. There wouldn't be any negative repercussions from this meeting with her, and I was correct. We went for a walk around the lake and were just chatting away, rather happily I might add. It was such a nice change.

Luna is a wonderful person, not to mention she is very, very intelligent. Yes, she is rather unusual (they don't call her loony for nothing after all) but those quirks are part of her, and they are part of what makes her wonderful. She is so kind and has never spoken a nasty word to me. I feel as though I can be myself around Luna that it's safe too, and it's wonderful. It's perfect actually. I can't be like that with anyone else; nobody would ever give me a chance for a start. Luna did though, and she continues to do so. We send each other mail and nobody seems to bat an eyelid, more than likely because they don't know who the letters are from and don't care to find out. It means that I have her close to me every day, in one way or another.

Sometimes we get snatches of time to meet with each other and discuss practically everything and anything that there is to offer. We have so many different types of conversation, and she asks so many questions. I have found that her questions can be rather intrusive but surprisingly enough, this does not particularly bother me. The information that I give is useless to her, and I know as surely as I know my own name, that she would never use it against me. It just isn't in her nature, that isn't Luna. I don't know her all that well yet, but I can tell that she would never betray me. Sometimes you can sense these things. She's rather like a Hufflepuff, or a Gryffindor in that sense; loyal, almost to a fault. The average Slytherin doesn't really know anything about loyalty other than to themselves. No, the other houses know loyalty and dedication to each other, to their friends. The Slytherin's don't really have friends, and they only know obedience. If you think about it, we're the perfect little soldiers. If you asked 'them' the old archaic families, if you were prepared to wait and loiter around long enough, they would tell you the truth 'someone to use'. Thanks to Luna though, I know what real friendship can be like. I've tasted it, and I want it so much it hurts me deep inside in a place I never really knew existed.

I don't know if I deserve a friendship like that though, and I don't know if anyone else will give me it. Luna disagrees with me completely, obviously, and she says that inside I'm a wonderful person. According to her, I just need to let people see that. I wish I could but no, I don't possess that Gryffindor courage. I'm too much of a coward. Well, it isn't cowardice exactly; I'm just very well informed of the facts. There is too much to lose and very little chance to gain anything. It is not a good risk to take and no matter how much I wish for it, it's not what I can will myself to take.

I know that Luna's slightly disappointed with me about that but I can't help it. Maybe I might be able to be brave enough to stand up for what I believe in, and be my true self, to hell with all of them. Perhaps in the future this might be possible, but not right now. I wasn't put into Slytherin for nothing. Despite the common perception, Slytherin's aren't all evil. A lot of them are, or end up being evil. We are cunning, and sly, and that can very effectively be used for good, as much as it can be for bad. It really depends on the person. I don't think I'm evil. I do know that I am calculating, I consider all the variables and possibilities. That's why I'm so good at Arithmancy (I keep that one quiet) and it's why I'm so bad at defence against the dark arts when it comes to duels. I take too much time to cast a spell, because I'm too busy considering all the possibilities and variables. Perhaps one day I'll have trained myself to do that very quickly, in which case I know I'd be a great duellist. Not to sound too arrogant, but there's just some things you know about yourself.

Moving away from all that though because I'm just starting to babble. Luna says it's her birthday soon and I'm trying to think of a present for her. If I can't think of anything particularly amazing or thoughtful, then I think I'll get her a cat; a nice, furry white cat. I'm sure that Luna would be delighted with a cat, a friend that would understand her perfectly. Cat's can offer comfort that no human being can give. You can tell all your secrets and the cat won't tell another living soul; they can't but even if they could they wouldn't. The cat would protect her from the nastiness of her dorm mates. They all think Luna's mad and they are rather mean to her. The cat would defend her, like I wish I could. Yes, a cat seems like a good idea. Every time she looked at the cat, then maybe she might just think fondly of me.

That's it; my mind is decided. For her birthday I am going to get my friend Luna Lovegood a white cat, perhaps a kitten. I haven't decided that part yet. She will get a cat though, that's just the important thing. I'll let her know why I got her the cat too, and I hope that will show how much she and her friendship mean to me.

Pansy